Welcome, Guest! - or
Easy to remember!  »  VinNews.com

New York - Brimming With Chutzpah, And More Lies Exposed In 'Unorthodox'

Published on: February 26, 2012 08:39 AM
Change text size Text Size  
Bookmark and Share
Deborah at book signing Feb 15 2012 at The Corner Bookstore in NYC. Photo via FacebookDeborah at book signing Feb 15 2012 at The Corner Bookstore in NYC. Photo via Facebook

New York - She’s got some chutzpah!

A gal who ditched her hubby and ultra-Orthodox Satmar community in Brooklyn left behind a trail of broken hearts and hurt feelings to pen a controversial yarn.

Deborah Feldman, 25, says she was choked by an antiquated religion and trapped in a loveless marriage — but that’s news to her husband, Joel Feldman, who friends and family say is “shattered” by the damning memoir.

“She was crazy about this boy,” Feldman’s uncle, Izzy Berkowitz, 58, told The Post. “She was dying to get married.
“He did everything and anything for her, but she never appreciated anything no matter what he did,” Berkowitz insisted. “She lacked happiness. Nothing was good enough for her.”

Advertisement:

Feldman, who’s been on a whirlwind publicity tour for “Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots” that’s included a powwow with Barbara Walters on “The View,” offers a clinical account of the couple’s marital intimacies.

“He feels betrayed,’ said an old friend of the jilted pop. “She wasn’t forced to marry him. They were madly in love.”

Pearl Engelman, 64, a neighbor of Feldman’s when she lived in Williamsburg, blasted the author.

“It paints the whole community in a bad light,” Engelman said. “We’re in an uproar. We feel insulted. I think she’s a lost soul.”

Full story a The NY Post 

Blogger Failed Messiah exposes more lies in Feldmans book here , and here .

Izzy Berkowitz the uncle for Feldman speaks out here 


More of today's headlines

Al-Thala, West Bank - Electricity from solar panels and wind turbines has revolutionized life in rural Palestinian herding communities: Machines, instead of hands, churn... Jerusalem - “Don’t Attack Iran,” former Chief Rabbi Ovadia Yosef said in his weekly Torah lecture broadcast on Israel radio every Saturday night. “Learn Torah...

 

Total79

Read Comments (79)  —  Post Yours »

1

 Feb 26, 2012 at 08:44 AM bklyn Says:

Someone should come out with a book to expose all her lies, she should be ashamed of her self!

3

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:14 AM Ina Says:

In her You Tube video she talks about leaving her family and friends behind to find her new self. She says it is all worth it and I believe she wishes to encourage others to do the same.

What is she talking about? I understand she chooses to live differently but why betray those who tried their best for her? Ones family and friends is all one has and are to be valued above everything and anything! Is there not a saying about not throwing stones into a well that has sustained you?

4

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:21 AM Anonymous Says:

Isn't it amazing - the thousands upon thousands of happy marriages & secure & functioning families mean nothing in comparison to one crazy, vindictive woman who can't cope. How about someone writes a book about normalcy in the frum veldt? Oh, but it won't sell, it won't be salacious, scandalous, or full of lies.

I hope her ex sues for permanent custody: this child is in real danger from such a disturbed woman.

5

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:21 AM Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

6

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:25 AM DRE53 Says:

Go Izzy go!!!

We appreciate u coming foward and exposing Devorah for what she is.

Btw, we miss you back in willy. Any plans of moving back?

7

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:31 AM Briskerrav Says:

I believe she did this for economic purposes. Her book is one of the highest in amazon rankings. Unfortunatley her greed for money overtool any sense of moraity and she attatcked inoccent people without a hint of mercy.
There is a great opportunity for a good writer to make a challenging book I think it will sell more copies!

8

 Feb 26, 2012 at 09:47 AM Avreich1 Says:

I am absolutely astonished at the enormous volume of free advertisement and publicity Deborah Feldman (and her book) have been given by this website alone.
Thanks to VIN (and other, similar, websites) she is laughing all the way to the bank.

This is what my soccer-playing friends would call "an own goal"; Feldman's detractors have achieved the diametrical opposite of what they had intended.

9

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:05 AM Anonymous Says:

Frankly, if it wasn't for VIN, and the Satmars in hysterics I would never have heard of this immature woman. You are giving her more punlicity than she could ever have hoped to get otherwise.

10

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:10 AM PrettyinPink Says:

Publicity or not, We have an obligated to defend our reputation and values and stick up for Kavod Shamayim that was so horribly disgraced...

11

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:29 AM yaakov321 Says:

May she find truth in her own future as if she has any conscious she will not be able to live with the anti-orthodox smut she has brought to our day.

12

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:32 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
Anonymous Says:

Frankly, if it wasn't for VIN, and the Satmars in hysterics I would never have heard of this immature woman. You are giving her more punlicity than she could ever have hoped to get otherwise.

sorry to disagree with you but she is constantly giving interviews and posting things on the internet just to gain publicity.

13

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:42 AM SherryTheNoahide Says:

Reply to #8  
Avreich1 Says:

I am absolutely astonished at the enormous volume of free advertisement and publicity Deborah Feldman (and her book) have been given by this website alone.
Thanks to VIN (and other, similar, websites) she is laughing all the way to the bank.

This is what my soccer-playing friends would call "an own goal"; Feldman's detractors have achieved the diametrical opposite of what they had intended.

You make an excellent point! I hadn't even HEARD of the book, until the articles about it started showing up on VIN!

14

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:40 AM Ina Says:

There is a You Tube video where she is featured driving through Williamsburg on Shabbos! There a those who choose to live differently but what kind of person goes all out to hurt her own aging grandparents as well as everyone else she ever knew with such chutzpa? According to her uncle, Deborah Feldman was not abandoned by her mother. He says she walked out on her mother and now she has walked out on her husband and everyone else who tried their best to treat her as one of their own. I invite a liscensed psychologist to diagnose and explain what type of personality she has.

15

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:43 AM zeide Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

Maybe!
it worked for 5 of my children between 2005 - 2011 almost perfect. 2 more to go, hope it dosn't change for another 1000 years

16

 Feb 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM Mark Levin Says:

She is one sick puppy!

17

 Feb 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM Mark Levin Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

I am not chasidish nor did I date that way but to Poo Poo away how klal Yisroel "dated" until fairly recent (yes, 100 years is recent) is irresponsible.

18

 Feb 26, 2012 at 11:22 AM lbpss Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

Where is the divorce rate higher jewish or non-jewish????

19

 Feb 26, 2012 at 11:39 AM SammyL Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

Your political analogy is a stretch my friend

20

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:00 PM Raver Says:

How about we start an "Occupy Simon & Schuster" until they pull this book that full of sheker and sina!

21

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:01 PM Anonymous Says:

Its hearthbreaking, I watched an interview she gave... It boils down that she had a real tough childhood and as a result she acts up badly
She claims her mother ran off and she claims her mother was gay, now being a child of such mother/house is davestating and painfull, also she claims she was molested not sure to what extend but that could really hurt.... I am not saying she is right or any of this is a real excuse and I am a chasidish guy and I fell hurt and feel her pain and the way I see it that everyone and everything in her childhood was her enemy..... What's left on us to do is make sure our kids get the proper love and feel comfortable expressing their needs (not every child could really deal with everything) and keep the dangerus people away or under bars

22

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:03 PM Anonymous Says:

We should write to Barbara Walters, her network, ThePost, and every other news outlet that ran the story, and let them know how klal yisroel feels about the shtusim in this shmatteh of a book. Reference this article or any other that shows clearly the twisted, sad and desperate shakranis this nebuch-case is.

23

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:07 PM Babishka Says:

All the anti-frum blogs are pounding her, they're all asking how she got a fabulous book contract and a gig on "The View" when other writers with more compelling and TRUTHFUL stories to tell, just pile up rejection letters.

24

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:19 PM ad Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago
Really?

Can you tell us which system is supper fine, there's unhappy marriages all over, but that that doesn't take away the good & benefits of the old chassidishe system.

25

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:27 PM TheRealJoe123 Says:

The only thing that will STOP her, at this point is an all out attack, the ignoring her idea hasn't worked. Hatzolah of KJ needs to sue her and the publishing companies for libel, the NY Post needs to be pushed into giving equal room for an article showing what frum life really is, and She needs to be pushed, until even the park slop yuppies won't want anything to do with her.

26

 Feb 26, 2012 at 12:29 PM neezoogshoin Says:

Reply to #13  
SherryTheNoahide Says:

You make an excellent point! I hadn't even HEARD of the book, until the articles about it started showing up on VIN!

And what does that prove? It proves that you are insulating yourself by choice and therefore cannot blame your ignorance on others.

27

 Feb 26, 2012 at 01:14 PM Secular Says:

Madly in love?

Who in Satmar or any chassidus gets married for love?

28

 Feb 26, 2012 at 01:55 PM Ina Says:

Reply to #27  
Secular Says:

Madly in love?

Who in Satmar or any chassidus gets married for love?

As strange as it seems, there are cases when this does happen.

29

 Feb 26, 2012 at 02:04 PM mo613 Says:

Reply to #1  
bklyn Says:

Someone should come out with a book to expose all her lies, she should be ashamed of her self!

nobody will buy it and because these people care very little about truth and honesty
dont you get it?

30

 Feb 26, 2012 at 02:08 PM Ina Says:

Reply to #21  
Anonymous Says:

Its hearthbreaking, I watched an interview she gave... It boils down that she had a real tough childhood and as a result she acts up badly
She claims her mother ran off and she claims her mother was gay, now being a child of such mother/house is davestating and painfull, also she claims she was molested not sure to what extend but that could really hurt.... I am not saying she is right or any of this is a real excuse and I am a chasidish guy and I fell hurt and feel her pain and the way I see it that everyone and everything in her childhood was her enemy..... What's left on us to do is make sure our kids get the proper love and feel comfortable expressing their needs (not every child could really deal with everything) and keep the dangerus people away or under bars

Now, if only her claims were real and truthful. Please investigate her claims and you will find that her mother did not abandon her while a toddler. This is her first untruth whereupon she proceeds to heap upon the reader falsehood upon falsehood. I know her childhood was not a bed of roses however, there seems to have been many family members who did care for her. After all, she was not placed in the foster care system. How dare she hurt them in such a cruel manner? What does this say about who she is?

31

 Feb 26, 2012 at 03:18 PM Lawyer Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

First of all, the lies are more than "small details." She claims that Satmar hushed up the murder of a young boy. That's criminal. Turns out to be fabricated too.

Second, it is strange to defend her by arguing that "this is one person's perspective." If she presented it as such, no one would be interested in her book. The reason she is selling it is that it purports to apply to the community as a whole, not her experience. And what makes it popular is that it makes unaffiliated Jews feel good that they can look down on someone else.

The full title is "Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection Of My Chassidic Roots." If she had titled it "How I Grew Out Of My Disfunctional Childhood," no one would care.

32

 Feb 26, 2012 at 03:56 PM bahby Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

1000 years ago there was no shidduch crisis, and in the chasidishe system there still isn't. It is those who left the chasidishe shidduch system who created the shidduch crisis that currently exists in the modern, not-outdated system. The chasidishe system is clearly meant for now, not only for 1,000 years ago. They clearly knew something that we don't seem to.

33

 Feb 26, 2012 at 04:12 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

I totally agree with you number 5. I work with chassidim and the stories upon stories I hear about divorce and horrible marriages is rising at an incredible rate. We do divorce less than the goyim but our statistics are rising at an alarming rate

34

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:01 PM shnookie63 Says:

what a pity
a emotionally insecure woman whos greed for money has overtaken her sense of virtue, correctness and sense of family and heritage
she will eventually have nothing not her money or family or friends either new or old
and the worst part of it is that she is not happy now and never will be
what a pity

35

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:24 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #31  
Lawyer Says:

First of all, the lies are more than "small details." She claims that Satmar hushed up the murder of a young boy. That's criminal. Turns out to be fabricated too.

Second, it is strange to defend her by arguing that "this is one person's perspective." If she presented it as such, no one would be interested in her book. The reason she is selling it is that it purports to apply to the community as a whole, not her experience. And what makes it popular is that it makes unaffiliated Jews feel good that they can look down on someone else.

The full title is "Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection Of My Chassidic Roots." If she had titled it "How I Grew Out Of My Disfunctional Childhood," no one would care.

It is a perfect title, what she did is definitely "scandalous."

36

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:38 PM bigwheeel Says:

Reply to #13  
SherryTheNoahide Says:

You make an excellent point! I hadn't even HEARD of the book, until the articles about it started showing up on VIN!

That's the name of the game. Sensationalism sells. Simon and Scuhster (and other publishers, for that matter) is not in business to make nice. They look at the numbers. And so far, they are winning. There is an old adage in showbiz. "It doesn't matter what you say (or write) about me, good or bad. As long as you spell my name right".
The author of this dribble is primarily an unstable person and an opportunist. The only way to knock her down is by exposing this book as a pack of lies and fantasy. When the publisher will be forced to eat crow and the book will be recalled, (Sweet dreams.) she will pay the price for her tainting an entire community in a libelous fashion.

37

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:40 PM SherryTheNoahide Says:

Reply to #26  
neezoogshoin Says:

And what does that prove? It proves that you are insulating yourself by choice and therefore cannot blame your ignorance on others.

What in the WORLD are you talking about?! (lol)

Were you even following Alverich1's comments before I made mine?!

What is your deal?!

38

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:44 PM esther Says:

Reply to #32  
bahby Says:

1000 years ago there was no shidduch crisis, and in the chasidishe system there still isn't. It is those who left the chasidishe shidduch system who created the shidduch crisis that currently exists in the modern, not-outdated system. The chasidishe system is clearly meant for now, not only for 1,000 years ago. They clearly knew something that we don't seem to.

chasidus and chasidim have exhisted since the times of the baal shem tov,roughly 300 years ago not 1000.

39

 Feb 26, 2012 at 05:45 PM Anonymous Says:

Hate to break the news to all those people claiming that the Chassidic way of doing things was meant for 1,000 years ago-----Chassidism hasn't been around for 1,000 years. The Besht was born in 1760, so do the math.

40

 Feb 26, 2012 at 06:12 PM Anonymous Says:

After finally having read the book, I'd agree its more a work of fiction rather than fact on several of the anecdotes, although the overall characterization of Satmar life is accurate on many points. Many of the issues she cites related their marriage certainly ring true as any social worker who has worked in the frum community will confirm. I suspect her ex-husband will soon be coming out with his own version of their time together, perhaps on a reality show called "My Love Life in the Heimeshe Hood".

41

 Feb 26, 2012 at 06:17 PM Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

42

 Feb 26, 2012 at 06:48 PM Ina Says:

Reply to #41  
Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

Thanks for labeling her disorder. I suspected this might be the diagnosis. Please be kind enough to explain it in detail because I need to understand it better.

43

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:04 PM hold my head high Says:

Reply to #5  
Anonymous Says:

All of the people grasping on to the possibility that deborah is lying in certain small details of her life that mean very little in the scheme of things are all acting like people who were demanding to see Obama's birth certificate. It's really pathetic. In the end of the day this is one person's perspective; but don't tell me that the chassidishe dating/marriage system is perfect. No dating system is perfect, but the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago.

Really??? I suppose that is the reason we have thousands upon thousands of happily fulfilled households who adhere to the "age old, antiquated rules" huh??? How come we didn't die out like the others nations...once strong and conquering, huh....? I won't answer you, because you need to go fetch the answer for yourself, so you can learn something new!!!Why don't you go read Mark Twains write-up on the "jew"....and see what he had to say,.After all, no one forced him to say it..
Really?The comparison to the Obama birth certificate(which, we might never know is authentic or not, after all politics is politics.) But you see, we are all proud of the life we live and we will dare anyone who will come and refute it!Especially with non-truths. How do I know?Because I live it, grew up there, spent 47 years of my life there--and she lied about almost everything. So why would I believe a word she says. I know the history of her childhood, being thrown out from school to school...Why don't you do some real research and stop defending her. BTW..my heart hurts for her childhood, but her actions cannot be condoned...You want to leave the faith...go...who can stop you..but this???

44

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:14 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #8  
Avreich1 Says:

I am absolutely astonished at the enormous volume of free advertisement and publicity Deborah Feldman (and her book) have been given by this website alone.
Thanks to VIN (and other, similar, websites) she is laughing all the way to the bank.

This is what my soccer-playing friends would call "an own goal"; Feldman's detractors have achieved the diametrical opposite of what they had intended.

Nobody cares if she makes money or not...that is not the issue. We are not fighting to make her a pauper. We are fighting for the respect our religion deserves--one which she lambasted in her book, interview, etc., etc..And the way she "lambasted" it was through selling a story that was porous...full of holes...
I don't care if she is a millionaire..but at least our voice will shed doubt on those who are so sure that what she speaks of is the "hole-ly" truth..
Speaking up for Kovod Shumayim is nothing to be ashamed of....thank the one above that we do have a forum to express our feelings.Someone out there will take heed....trust me...Hashem is on our side.!!!!

45

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:15 PM SO SO PROUD OF WHO I AM Says:

Reply to #9  
Anonymous Says:

Frankly, if it wasn't for VIN, and the Satmars in hysterics I would never have heard of this immature woman. You are giving her more punlicity than she could ever have hoped to get otherwise.

That's not the point. Let her be popular. Let her stand on her head to get what she wants. But she can't step all over US...THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!!!!!

46

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:17 PM Avreich1 Says:

Reply to #20  
Raver Says:

How about we start an "Occupy Simon & Schuster" until they pull this book that full of sheker and sina!

You go right ahead, Raver. Come back, tell us how you got on, and then we will decide whether or not to join you on the picket line.

47

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:30 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #27  
Secular Says:

Madly in love?

Who in Satmar or any chassidus gets married for love?

Have you ever heard of "love at first sight"..after all, it's a secular thing, this """"love '"""" thing, right? Well... how 'bout this..Some of us, (can't speak for everyone, you know)have this "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT' butterflies in your stomch feeling, that you are all so familiar with!!!!After all, we are human too, aren't we???
And to all those "lovers" out in the secular world..who either date for awhile or live "together"....let me see, statistically.....whose love has prevailed?...yours or mine???? Answer--self explanatory---MINE!!!!
PERIOD....END OF SENTENCE...
P.S. Maybe one day you will be mature enough to know that real love is not romantic love...it grows with time, respect, through caring sharing and giving...through shared experiences, and common goals. I am proud to say....if you are looking for genuine cohesive connectedness, you need not look to far.Our family unites are a symbol of that. Yes, we have exceptions...like the rest of the world...but overall, we feel more wholesome than our secular counterparts!!!.
So...there you go "secular"

48

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:32 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
ad Says:

the chassidishe system is outdated and meant for 1,000 years ago
Really?

Can you tell us which system is supper fine, there's unhappy marriages all over, but that that doesn't take away the good & benefits of the old chassidishe system.

Sorry, couldn't resist. Supper fine??? you mean super fine..

49

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:46 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #39  
Anonymous Says:

Hate to break the news to all those people claiming that the Chassidic way of doing things was meant for 1,000 years ago-----Chassidism hasn't been around for 1,000 years. The Besht was born in 1760, so do the math.

The chassidim were not the originators. In the gemorrah it talks about a father finding a wife for his son. It did not start with the besht.

50

 Feb 26, 2012 at 07:55 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #42  
Ina Says:

Thanks for labeling her disorder. I suspected this might be the diagnosis. Please be kind enough to explain it in detail because I need to understand it better.

It just means he read about it in the Hamodia last week. If he's a psychiatrist, I'm a platypus.

51

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:00 PM bigwheeel Says:

Reply to #40  
Anonymous Says:

After finally having read the book, I'd agree its more a work of fiction rather than fact on several of the anecdotes, although the overall characterization of Satmar life is accurate on many points. Many of the issues she cites related their marriage certainly ring true as any social worker who has worked in the frum community will confirm. I suspect her ex-husband will soon be coming out with his own version of their time together, perhaps on a reality show called "My Love Life in the Heimeshe Hood".

No. the name of the book or theme of the show will (Or should) be; My life with an ADHD, Borderline Personality Person.- The scandalous revelations of having to put up with a mentally unstable, Bi-Polar spouse.

52

 Feb 26, 2012 at 10:05 PM physician Says:

Reply to #41  
Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

That would fit the picture I agree.
I am yet to read the whole book, but her introduction was disrespectful of her father and the sensitive issue of his mental health.
There was contempt for prosperity and there was even wanton suggestions of salacious behavior of even the most common person (the waiter) described.
I suggest you are correct in BPD and maybe also histrionic personality disorder as well.

53

 Feb 27, 2012 at 01:00 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #52  
physician Says:

That would fit the picture I agree.
I am yet to read the whole book, but her introduction was disrespectful of her father and the sensitive issue of his mental health.
There was contempt for prosperity and there was even wanton suggestions of salacious behavior of even the most common person (the waiter) described.
I suggest you are correct in BPD and maybe also histrionic personality disorder as well.

Does it matter that the disorder has a name? I think not.Because the only healing I think she needs is the one in the soul...and that has no name. You can call it what you wish.There are many moral lines she has crossed and giving her a name to go along with the disease will just absolve her of her responsibility to making amends, or doing teshuva. Today we live in a day and age when everything we do that smacks of a problem in the soul....could be found in some texbook as a new disease.
She has had issues in school as a young kid...was thrown out ...went to another school, was thrown out from there too...etc. etc. Call it what you wish.....she has had behavior issues all along...She is a grown person, and knows the difference between right and wrong. That is the distinction between healthy and sick. I don't think she would call herself such, so....it must be that her behavior is in question and that's where the healing should commence.

54

 Feb 27, 2012 at 02:51 AM seen it all Says:

Reply to #41  
Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

I once heard a wise doctor get to the bottom of BPD:

"So she calls the police on him, but when the police come, he turns around the situation and the cops believe that he called the cops on her!"

These people have gone through horrendous manipulation that they learn to cope in life by the same tactics as their abusers.

There is a lot of finger pointing as to who is actually the crazy one, and the crazy manipulating parent succeeds in convincing everyone that the kid is the crazy one! the social workers are the first buy it, but sometimes even experienced doctors fall for it!!

In this case, it seems she is getting her revenge at her childhood abuse. But its directed at the wrong people.

55

 Feb 27, 2012 at 03:52 AM seen it all Says:

Reply to #41  
Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

I once heard a wise doctor get to the bottom of BPD:

"So she calls the police on him, but when the police come, he turns around the situation and the cops believe that he called the cops on her!"

These people have gone through horrendous manipulation that they learn to cope in life by the same tactics as their abusers.

There is a lot of finger pointing as to who is actually the crazy one, and the crazy manipulating parent succeeds in convincing everyone that the kid is the crazy one! the social workers are the first buy it, but sometimes even experienced doctors fall for it!!

In this case, it seems she is getting her revenge at her childhood abuse. But its directed at the wrong people.

56

 Feb 27, 2012 at 08:20 AM Ina Says:

Reply to #52  
physician Says:

That would fit the picture I agree.
I am yet to read the whole book, but her introduction was disrespectful of her father and the sensitive issue of his mental health.
There was contempt for prosperity and there was even wanton suggestions of salacious behavior of even the most common person (the waiter) described.
I suggest you are correct in BPD and maybe also histrionic personality disorder as well.

Thank you for your diagnosis. I have googled histrionic personality disorder and it appears to fit her perfectly. The disorder first appears in early adulthood. I hope her former husband comes to terms with what really happened to her so he can move on quickly. If Deborah Feldman would spend some of her royalties on a really good therapist and stick with the therapy, perhaps she might give her son a chance at a better life than she had. In any case, there is no excuse for the chilul Hashem she has created.

57

 Feb 27, 2012 at 09:15 AM noahz6 Says:

in satmar they thought her KANUES this is the reverse, thats all she knows.

58

 Feb 27, 2012 at 07:51 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #57  
noahz6 Says:

in satmar they thought her KANUES this is the reverse, thats all she knows.

Took me awhile to figure you out....you mean they "taught" her Kanues(. )This is the reverse....that's all she knows......whatever that means!!!! When you express your thoughts the way they enter your head, doesn't always mean another person can understand what you are saying.

59

 Feb 28, 2012 at 01:03 AM Gefilte Fish Says:

Reply to #51  
bigwheeel Says:

No. the name of the book or theme of the show will (Or should) be; My life with an ADHD, Borderline Personality Person.- The scandalous revelations of having to put up with a mentally unstable, Bi-Polar spouse.

And which collage taught you to lump together BPD and bipolar?

60

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:09 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #1  
bklyn Says:

Someone should come out with a book to expose all her lies, she should be ashamed of her self!

so write one - who is stopping you?

Or do you only have advice for OTHER people to follow?

61

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:10 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #8  
Avreich1 Says:

I am absolutely astonished at the enormous volume of free advertisement and publicity Deborah Feldman (and her book) have been given by this website alone.
Thanks to VIN (and other, similar, websites) she is laughing all the way to the bank.

This is what my soccer-playing friends would call "an own goal"; Feldman's detractors have achieved the diametrical opposite of what they had intended.

you are 100% correct!

62

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:12 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #10  
PrettyinPink Says:

Publicity or not, We have an obligated to defend our reputation and values and stick up for Kavod Shamayim that was so horribly disgraced...

really? defend it to whom? and where did you get that idea?

There is no obligation for you to defend anything to anybody. All you are doing is giving her more publicity and more money. Do you think you have an "obligation" to educate secular or non-Jewish readers to frum Jewish values? (hint: you don't).

63

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:15 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #14  
Ina Says:

There is a You Tube video where she is featured driving through Williamsburg on Shabbos! There a those who choose to live differently but what kind of person goes all out to hurt her own aging grandparents as well as everyone else she ever knew with such chutzpa? According to her uncle, Deborah Feldman was not abandoned by her mother. He says she walked out on her mother and now she has walked out on her husband and everyone else who tried their best to treat her as one of their own. I invite a liscensed psychologist to diagnose and explain what type of personality she has.

Why is it your business what she does? better to spend your time educating yourself (I invite a liscensed...) than looking up youtube videos of an unhappy no longer frum woman

64

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:18 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #22  
Anonymous Says:

We should write to Barbara Walters, her network, ThePost, and every other news outlet that ran the story, and let them know how klal yisroel feels about the shtusim in this shmatteh of a book. Reference this article or any other that shows clearly the twisted, sad and desperate shakranis this nebuch-case is.

yes, let them know our community is reading and watching every interview and video of this we can find! It's important that we educate Barbara Walters and the Post.

Your watching her interviews and reading her book makes YOU the one who is making her a successful, rich woman.

65

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:20 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #30  
Ina Says:

Now, if only her claims were real and truthful. Please investigate her claims and you will find that her mother did not abandon her while a toddler. This is her first untruth whereupon she proceeds to heap upon the reader falsehood upon falsehood. I know her childhood was not a bed of roses however, there seems to have been many family members who did care for her. After all, she was not placed in the foster care system. How dare she hurt them in such a cruel manner? What does this say about who she is?

who cares? why do you encourage others to spend more time on her?

66

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:21 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #31  
Lawyer Says:

First of all, the lies are more than "small details." She claims that Satmar hushed up the murder of a young boy. That's criminal. Turns out to be fabricated too.

Second, it is strange to defend her by arguing that "this is one person's perspective." If she presented it as such, no one would be interested in her book. The reason she is selling it is that it purports to apply to the community as a whole, not her experience. And what makes it popular is that it makes unaffiliated Jews feel good that they can look down on someone else.

The full title is "Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection Of My Chassidic Roots." If she had titled it "How I Grew Out Of My Disfunctional Childhood," no one would care.

you are NOT a lawyer, and your logic is fatally flawed.

67

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:22 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #31  
Lawyer Says:

First of all, the lies are more than "small details." She claims that Satmar hushed up the murder of a young boy. That's criminal. Turns out to be fabricated too.

Second, it is strange to defend her by arguing that "this is one person's perspective." If she presented it as such, no one would be interested in her book. The reason she is selling it is that it purports to apply to the community as a whole, not her experience. And what makes it popular is that it makes unaffiliated Jews feel good that they can look down on someone else.

The full title is "Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection Of My Chassidic Roots." If she had titled it "How I Grew Out Of My Disfunctional Childhood," no one would care.

Why is this generating so much of a reaction to sue her or write a book?

get over yourselves. If you want to sue her, go ahead, your case will thrown out of court. But keep on giving her the publicity she wants, and she will keep on selling books.

68

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:23 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #34  
shnookie63 Says:

what a pity
a emotionally insecure woman whos greed for money has overtaken her sense of virtue, correctness and sense of family and heritage
she will eventually have nothing not her money or family or friends either new or old
and the worst part of it is that she is not happy now and never will be
what a pity

and you know this how? talk is cheap.

69

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:26 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #41  
Psychiatrist Says:

She has many features of borderline personality disorder (look it up and see if you agree).

As for the publicity, her publisher and / or a PR firm such as Howard Rubinstein (who 'created' Shmuley Boteach) are eager to sell this book and realize a provocative, salacious book sells--especially when the target is the orthodox Jewish community (a popular target for bashing by the NY Times, Jewish Week, et al, by those who can assuage their guilt for 'marrying out' or leaving their religion by finding fault with those who stayed committed to Yiddishkeit.)

hey, self-annointed psychiatrist, are you also the guy that calls himself "lawyer"? if not, let's all get together. I plan to make myself a "Brain Surgeon" next week!

70

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:27 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #42  
Ina Says:

Thanks for labeling her disorder. I suspected this might be the diagnosis. Please be kind enough to explain it in detail because I need to understand it better.

Ina Says: “ Thanks for labeling her disorder. I suspected this might be the diagnosis. Please be kind enough to explain it in detail because I need to understand it better. ”

why do you need to understand it better? are you treating her or her family? are you a therapist, or just a yenta?

71

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:28 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #44  
Anonymous Says:

Nobody cares if she makes money or not...that is not the issue. We are not fighting to make her a pauper. We are fighting for the respect our religion deserves--one which she lambasted in her book, interview, etc., etc..And the way she "lambasted" it was through selling a story that was porous...full of holes...
I don't care if she is a millionaire..but at least our voice will shed doubt on those who are so sure that what she speaks of is the "hole-ly" truth..
Speaking up for Kovod Shumayim is nothing to be ashamed of....thank the one above that we do have a forum to express our feelings.Someone out there will take heed....trust me...Hashem is on our side.!!!!

so say you. At least she isn't ashamed to back up what she writes with "anonymous"!

72

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:30 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #52  
physician Says:

That would fit the picture I agree.
I am yet to read the whole book, but her introduction was disrespectful of her father and the sensitive issue of his mental health.
There was contempt for prosperity and there was even wanton suggestions of salacious behavior of even the most common person (the waiter) described.
I suggest you are correct in BPD and maybe also histrionic personality disorder as well.

oh, physician, have you met "lawyer" and "psychiatrist" yet? or are you all the same small person?

73

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:34 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #59  
Gefilte Fish Says:

And which collage taught you to lump together BPD and bipolar?

moron, BPD is Bi-Polar Disorder - you don't have to go to "collage" to figure that out!

74

 Feb 28, 2012 at 08:13 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #71  
Anonymous Says:

so say you. At least she isn't ashamed to back up what she writes with "anonymous"!

I was making a point...I don't see the importance of a name...I see the importance of a statement.
So say you....no...so say or feel most orthodox yidden. Yes, it is Kovod Shumayim...defending our halochos and customs...absolutely.
Trouble is, you are anonymous yourself, hypocrite

75

 Feb 28, 2012 at 08:17 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #73  
Anonymous Says:

moron, BPD is Bi-Polar Disorder - you don't have to go to "collage" to figure that out!

No....it's Borderline Personality Disorder...sorry to inform you.

76

 Feb 28, 2012 at 08:20 PM No name calling here Says:

Reply to #73  
Anonymous Says:

moron, BPD is Bi-Polar Disorder - you don't have to go to "collage" to figure that out!

Before you shout" Moron"...maybe it would be a good lesson to check it out before you do...
lesson for the day......
Hatzlocha ..
Just curious: wonder where you grew up, what home you came from, that you can't point out someone's mistake(your own, of course) without reverting to bad language. For shame...

77

 Feb 28, 2012 at 10:48 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #74  
Anonymous Says:

I was making a point...I don't see the importance of a name...I see the importance of a statement.
So say you....no...so say or feel most orthodox yidden. Yes, it is Kovod Shumayim...defending our halochos and customs...absolutely.
Trouble is, you are anonymous yourself, hypocrite

no trouble, I wasn't talking trash like you were.

It is not "kovod shumayim" to defend our halochos to anyone, let alone Barbara Walters or the ny post. All you're doing is telling them how much this book troubles you, which none of them need to know.

78

 Mar 01, 2012 at 12:49 AM explain away Says:

I am not going to even ask you about the trash I'm supposedly talking about...but for the record and to satisfy my curiosity...can I have an in-depth explanation in defense of your statement...because I certainly am not on the same page with you...enlighten me...I'm willing to listen.

79

 Oct 25, 2014 at 06:06 PM roseofsharon Says:

Reply to #4  
Anonymous Says:

Isn't it amazing - the thousands upon thousands of happy marriages & secure & functioning families mean nothing in comparison to one crazy, vindictive woman who can't cope. How about someone writes a book about normalcy in the frum veldt? Oh, but it won't sell, it won't be salacious, scandalous, or full of lies.

I hope her ex sues for permanent custody: this child is in real danger from such a disturbed woman.

There are many families highly troubled in Hasidic communities. The scandals about the sexual abuse of children in the community is fully documented in news reports and trial records. Let's not pretend Hasidim have "thousands upon thousands of happy marriages and secure and functioning families."

80

 Oct 25, 2014 at 06:29 PM roseofsharon Says:

Reply to #9  
Anonymous Says:

Frankly, if it wasn't for VIN, and the Satmars in hysterics I would never have heard of this immature woman. You are giving her more punlicity than she could ever have hoped to get otherwise.

I think controversy sells. I agree that the reaction against her book, particularly from a community that tries to stay shielded from the secular world, know so much about her sacrilegious book?

81

Sign-in to post a comment

Scroll Up
Advertisements:

Sell your scrap gold and broken jewelry and earn hard cash sell gold today!