New York, NY – The results of a Chapman University study will be presented this week at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting in New York which shows that over two-thirds of men believe women should contribute to dating expenses.
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The study, titled “Who Pays for Dates? Following vs. Challenging Conventional Gender Norms,” will be presented by David Frederick at the convention which runs from Aug. 10-13 at the Midtown Hilton and contains data compiled from interviews with over 17,000 participants.
“The motivation for the study was to understand why some gendered practices are more resistant to change than others; for example, the acceptance of women in the workplace versus holding onto traditional notions of chivalry,” said Frederick, who co-authored the study with Janet Lever, of California State University, Los Angeles, and Rosanna Hertz, of Wellesley College.
Points of interest taken from the data show that 84% of men and 58% of women interviewed say that men still pay most expenses, even after dating for an extended period of time, and that despite the fact that 57% of women claim they offer to pay, 39% say they hope men reject their offers, and 44% say it bothers them if men expect them to chip in.
Nearly two-thirds, 64% of men polled say they feel “strongly” that women should contribute, with 44% saying they would stop dating a woman who never pays. Despite that, 76% of men say they feel “some guilt” about taking a woman’s money.
stupid article,sorry. In the (frum) Jewish world “dating” is for finding a proper marriage partner. For the rest of the 99.99% out there – dating is for fun, companionship, and illicit relations, and when the men pay for everything as is usually the case….these women who get gifts for “favors’ are in reality prostitutes.
Principle: Women are by nature fearful.
They are scared to get rid of their security (in todays day and age; money), and very giving physically and emotionally to those who provide them with security (money).
While there are many cheap or broke men out there, and also single women in the workplace making money, the big picture of human nature won’t change much. Women still need security, and men still provide it. Dating just feeds off this principle.
The women fought for equality- let them pay
Even in the frum world if you’re into a shiduch of, let’s say, a bochur from the USA with a girl from Israel, and who should pay traveling costs?
Simple. We should follow our other minhagim:
The father-in-law should pay.
#8  211;I am truly sorry that every frum woman you know is now divorced because of the man being gay or depressed 211;you are in horrible company 211;it 217;s time you hung around in different circles. While I know many men and women who are married for years and not divorced, I also know women who are/were divorced (including myself B 221;H round 2 is great). Why not split the cost? That 217;s what we did. Whichever of us had a few bucks to spare, paid for the date or we split it. and # 3 211;when they 217;re dating they aren 217;t married yet so the laws of marriage are not part of the consideration.
Well they can be feminists only for the times it pays. Equal = equal.
Speaking of gendered practices and their resistance to change, as much as today’s women are more forward then those of yesterday, it seems that the men are still primarily the ones asking the women out. That being said, the guy should pay for the date. On the other hand, if the woman is forward enough to be asking a guy out, it would follow that she should be the one paying. Blind date with no official “asking party” – both split the cost. Seems logical enough.
So typical of the male ego. The woman should chip in because, after all, am I not G-d’s gift to society?. Any woman who wishes to spend time in my presence should pay for the privilege.
#8 very few divorces in de heimishe community and the frum who r divorced is cuz u are de reason for it cuz u r a womanizer and making the few where u could get a handle to divorce
Obamacare will pay for it starting in January, 2014. Thank you Obama, When do the mortgage payment start?
I stopped dating about 20 years ago. I remember one date where the girl was very nervous about being seen in public, I had to bring my car two blocks away and she walked there with her mother. In short, she was very close to making a shiduch between herself and someone else and used me as a last trial, as if to see if she was missing anything.
I never had any bad feelings and wish her the best. I feel that if she entered the date with the idea of hiding it and not being serious then anything I spent on her was like genevah.
It is my opinion that a woman dating should pay the cost of the entire date. This practice would help weed out those women of the majority that are hunting men just for their money.
The reason yeshiva bochurim pay for their dates is because they are not really paying — it is their parents who are paying, and paying gladly. Why? Because they know their parasitic sons will ultimately be ‘somekh al shulkhan av’ of the girl they marry, and no longer be freeloading of their own parents. Besides how do you share the cost of a Coke in a hotel lobby?