New York – It seems that there has been much written about Tzniut over the years and, in most cases, it has to do with skirt length, head covering and various rabbis professing to know the thoughts of G-d. And yet, with all that has been written, so few seem to fully “get” what Tzniut is.
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I know, that sounds a little disjointed, but if you will bear with me for a moment, you will see what I mean.
The prophet Micha says in Chapter 6: והצנע לכת, עם-אלוהיך, meaning that we are to “walk humbly with your G-d.” In the only usage in TaNaCh of the root צ-נ-ע it is critical to understand what the Navi is telling us in this Pasuk.
Tzniut is about a way of life. Tzniut is about how we relate to G-d and how we go through this world attempting to emulate his ways.
Tnziut is about acting in concert with how Hashem has commanded us to act: humbly and modestly.
Yes, of course, we are to dress in a modest fashion–women AND men. But besides the obvious point of dressing in a modest fashion, the underlying message is that we are not to draw attention to ourselves. By doing so, we not only divert another’s attention, we then shift that person’s attention from his proper purpose in the world: service of Hashem.
Which leads to a very different perspective on tzniut. Besides clothing, tzniut extends to all that we have.
People who throw lavish parties, weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzva celebrations that run into the tens of thousands of dollars –and hundreds of thousands of dollars; the cars that, in some cases, dwarf small boats; clothing that costs months’ salaries–and the list goes on and on–would be hard-pressed to refer to that as an act that is tzanua.
A home that is large but is used as a place for constant hachnassat orchim or for Torah events indeed fulfills a purpose; but a home that is massive in order to “keep up with the Jonses” is the antithesis of tzniut. When a person lives a lifestyle that is lavish and/or drawing attention to himself, that is not in concert with living a life of tzniut.
And then, the inevitable happens: in the face of tragedy or emergency, so many profess to understand how G-d works in this world and blame all natural and unnatural disaster on the length of a woman’s skirt.
A tsunami kills thousands? Must be because a woman in Monsey had a skirt too short! A child (G-d forbid) died? Must be that a little hair was sticking out from her sheitel over there in Dimona. And the list goes on and on. People make statements like this and presume to know WHY G-d does anything. And it is wrong to do so because רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה’ היא תקום. (“Man has many thoughts, but, ultimately, it is the ideas of Hashem that will come to fruition”)
And then there are the so-called Tzniut Police in various communities. How about a Bein Adam L’Chavero Police? Or perhaps an Achdut Police? A Lashon Hara Police?
We need to re-think our priorities to help us ALL determine what is a definition of Tzniut. Then again, perhaps all we need to do is to live a life based on the words of the Prophet Micha above: והצנע לכת, עם-אלוהיך.
Rabbi Zev Shandalov served as a shul Rav in Chicago for 10 years, and teacher in local Orthodox schools, his family moved to Israel in July 2009. Shandalov currently works as a teacher. Shandalov can be reached via email at [email protected]
The above OpEd was first published by The Times Of Israel, reprinted with permission.
excellent piece!
I agree that tznius extends beyond clothes, and that we should work on improving in various other important areas too, but the patronizing attitude shown by this column (and many other similar ones) towards those who urge improvement in tznius in dress following a tragedy is shameful.
There is a famous letter from the Chofetz Chaim zt”l in which he urges improvement in tznius and kedusha following the tragedies of his time, and there is no doubt that there has been a troubling drop in tznius in our communities in recent years. If anyone today believes they understand Hashem’s workings better than the Chofetz Chaim, please stand up and say so explicitly.
Very well said. If only the people reading this would apply it to themselves, not yennim.
This article is kefira from the very first sentence. “Various rabbis professing to know the thoughts of G-d” also known as the Torah She b’al Peh from where we learn out, with mesorah, what G-d means practically by what is stated in the Torah She b’ksav.
Daas Yehudis is also Torah she b’al Peh.
This is disturbing, coming from someone of your supposed stature.
Finally a voice to my thoughts.
Well said, Rabbi Shandalov
I don’t understand what 1 has with the other he’s right all those things are very important but y demean the importance of tznius if you want to make a point do it on its own merits there must B a hidden agenda by this guy have to check what his guidelines are in tznius
Men have to dress tzenius?? Whats wrong with rabbis today?
Torah is not about letting your own smile win the race. Torah is about keeping your smile clean. And if you want to be Kosher in all of your ways, watch the way you contain your faith and convictions. If you approve of a smaller opening for tznuit restrictions, will you also realize that you have a smaller chance of being holy as well? Ultimately it is indeed the length of skirts and the amount of skin that is covered up that keeps the violent mind away from a simple form of human expression. Jews should in all ways when they present themselves keep all tznuis requirements and then be grateful that Hashem is a G-d that rewards the poor with musical hopes and blessings of true trust.
Mr. Zev is dead wrong and foolish too.
Even all Goyim of every country on earth have very strict laws on Tznius and even all Goyim of every country on earth will literally Arrest and throw a women in Jail if Dressed (undressed) in a Untznius’dik or very Pritzus’dik way
There is only one “slight” difference between Jewish Law, which is Halacha vs, secular Law on Tznius
The only difference is on the STANDARD of what level of Tznius or Pritzus, which is tolerated and how bad does a women have to be dressed or Not properly dressed, before she us Arrested and put in to prison by virtually every secular government of every country
Our standards are different but that is irreverent to the point that even a Proste Goy understands that “whatever standard” of Untznius of women, will send her to Jail
We as frum Yidden just have a much higher standard, but the basic principal is universally accepted that there is a point where you “Draw The Line” of saying “Ad Kan” and anything less than that, we, of a free society, where everyone has “freedom” and “free choice”, in the USA and in the streets of NYC, will put a women under arrest if she is beyond the level of Pritzus by Law.
The תוכן of what he wrote is the 100% true however to clearfy what he is saying is needed. I do not think he is trying to diminish the importance of tznius in cloths rather that if we would understand and teach the יסוד and דרך of צניעות we would not need to come to count the inches of the skirt etc. (BTW the rabbis who he is talking about is not our chachomim rather פשט’ע Rabbis of our day who don’t have רוח הקודש).
Tznuis is not a stage change for the placid to be more placidly expressed only for the sake of the spirit of human reluctance. There is no violation of tznuis if you are a responsible citizen and want to live well. Your choices of your clothing and vehicles and living standard should reflect your taste in your own hope for Time as well as your own factors in your community. We are not a nation of Jews who despise the creation of hope and dignity in the betterment of some of the actuarial hopes of improved commodities of living standards. True you might have an issue with your own values and clearly a Ferrari for going to and from Shul is probably a bit ostentatious, but still all in all, merit should be rewarded. This article is a little bit confused. Sorry.
kudos
Well said!!
Tzanua is understated – not knock your eyes out!
And, after 2,000 years of galus, it is imperitive that we get our act together and have respect for each and every group in Klal Yisrael. Each group has its strengths and things it has to work on. No one has a monopoly on what is correct.
Kol Hakavod to Rabbi Shandalov – sane voices need to lead us.
At this point in time, if you want to build a bridge, I’ll donate, if you want to divide the Jewish people, count me out.
Rabbi Zev Shandalov, how nice your article would have been by just asking that all other aspects in one’s life should follow the same guidelines that you’ve mentioned but you did not do so. Your timing was not either proper since we just relived Kabolas Hatorah this past Shabbos where it was indeed Moshe that was a Shaliach of HKB”H. As I’m sure you are well aware of; B’chol Doroh V’doroh there are Moshe R’abeinu’s that are the eyes and ears of our times enforcing Gedorim that they feel are necessary. Who are we to criticize; I repeat who do we think we really are and how experienced are we? Do we know the problems of Klal Yisroel first hand as do the Rabonim and Tzadikim of this generation?
Practice makes perfect. Shemoneh Esri has a Brocho of Al Hatzadikim; should we perhaps skip it in today’s day and age…….
Classic Modern Orthodoxy/ Mizrachi stuff! Trying to bring a kaltkeit (coldness) to any good true people trying to do what’s right! ” Kol makom sheaata roeh dvar ervah anderlomusia baa laolam vehoreget tovim veraim”
Refer to rabbi Schneider letter from 1954
With all due respect, this guy is a school teacher! Might have been a pulpit rabbi for a small community somewhere but he definitely has no place writing articles.
I read these posts and understand why Moshiach is not among us. Gut g’zuckt R” Shandalov. May you continue to go from strength to strength.
Many of the same type of people who will bash this Rabbi are the same type of people who will support the New Square Rebbe and blame the victims of molestation and excuse the predators. Do you need to look at anything else? Charedism is not authentic Judaism. Look at the fool above, who knows nothing about human psychology and calls a woman not dressed to his standard of tzinus from 2,000 years ago a Bor Brishus Harabim, What ignoramuses these cult people are.
Excellent article. Thank you for having the courage to write what so many of us really think. Kol Hakavod!
This guy is total screwed up, he is mixing up Tznius by woman, with the Posuk והצנע לכת, עם-אלוהיך. What does anything has to do with the other?
The name calling , specifically koifer, apikorus, etc. is a hysterical response to the rabbi’s valid point. Obviously, some of your oxen (The name callers) are being gored. Read his point again. There’s nothing that he says against women and tznius. In fact he mentions that right at the outset but merely ADDS an important facet of it, i.e.— driving BMWs, extravagant show-off simchas, also show-off homes, show-off conversations, discussing millions of $$$$$$ to cause envy ( in shul yet, or at the very least on Shabbos on the way home from shul ), shvitzing and hocking and such , is ALSO not tznius. So what’s wrong with that?
And that he’s MERELY a teacher is enough to invalidate what he says?
Really? Have you ever said Tehillim? ” Mikol Melamdei Hiskalti.” Some of you need to stop being so arrogant.
Finally a voice to my thoughts.
Nothing new in most of the comments above.
Shooting the messenger is a very old tactic.
i think it means mentchlichkeit, manners, not chewing gum, not yelling into a cell phone constantly…but i could be wrong..goes for both genders.
So as long as men wear long skirts, no problem?
The point which I think he is trying to make is this. I’ll first state two undisputable facts in charedi circles;
1) our tznuis is the best its ever been in 100 years. Just look at old pictures of our grandmoter in shortsleevs and no shaitels
2) We have become much haughtier over the last 100 years. our grandmothers while less tznius in dress lived simple and temmimsdik lives. we on the other hand need to lease the newest car and live in the fancisit houses
Our problem is not tznuis in dress rather tznuis in the rest of our lives. Of course if you want to shtieg in dressing tznuis we can always do better. But its not this dor’s weakness.
Kudos to the Rabbi for having the guts to write the article. I’m sure he knew the kind of reaction he would get in daring to challenge the “Taliban” in the community. Kudos to VIN, for publishing this Op-Ed.
The Rabbi did not say, that as long as there is communal hypocricy, that frum women should dress as others in the wider world. One would think by some of the reactions, that this is what he is advocating. It’s an irrational and somewhat paranoid response (koifer, apikores etc.).
Perhaps it is time, for a re-assessment of what is done nowadays in the name of Tznius. Isn’t it overkill to have frum publications omit pictures of (tzniusdike) women in their publications. Really. One would think that women don’t live in the community anymore. Any man that finds it so challenging to see a picture of a frum couple (husband & wife) that is being honored by an organization, really requires some serious therapeutic intervention. Instead, the acceptable response is to FORCE publications to eliminate the pictures. This is just one of many possible examples of the adoption of Taliban rules of tznius
Enough is enough.
It’s incredibly sad how the different “sects” of Judaism can read the same essay but one sees its beauty and truth while the other sees K’firus and falsehood. “Truth will fail” in the times of Meshiach as it says in Isaiah. Brothers and sisters, open up your eyes from your foolishness. This rabbi has no intent to undermine Tznius but quite the contrary he is coming to strengthen Tznius at it’s very core. A great rebbe once said “it’s easy to be a Jew but difficult to WANT to be a TRUE Jew”.
The Aseres Hadibros are always depicted as appearing in the same page. This is because those who make the Lo Tinaf very big have to make Lo Tignov, Lo Tirzach and Lo Sachamod very small, or disappear altogether> You can pretend to be as frum as you want, but experience has shown that this is so.
during my “yeshivish” bais yaakov education we actually did learn both – the beauty, the spirit, etc. as well as the rules.
The rabbi is right (not that it’s in my place to say that…) but I don’t think it should come at the expense of the rules and the inches. I think they are both important – the same way we appreciate the beauty of Shabbos while trying to keep its complex, nit picky halachos, we should try to do the same with our crowning glory tznius.
Meaning, yes the focus should shift, but not to the exclusion of promoting hilchos tznius in dress.
just my daas am haaretz to add to the rest