Monroe, NY – Yet another hate-filled, biased and anti-religious article appeared in the New York media this week— under the headline ‘Escape From the Holy Shtetl’ one that for obvious reasons was not reprinted by VIN News but which stoked a firestorm of controversy. A young woman still finding her place in the world tears her beautiful daughter between father and mother and the stable and shifting lives they respectively live—but the writer takes the mother’s side without so much as an attempt at interviewing her hapless ex-husband or his co-religionists, painting him, and his entire faith community, as sinister, backwards fanatics while regurgitating virtually every Chasidic stereotype. After considerable feedback from our readers requesting comment, VIN News submits its opinion below.
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It’s a thunderingly useless universe that New York Magazine’s Mark Jacobson, a sniveling bigot if there ever was one, must certainly inhabit.
Primal hatreds so lavishly couched in affected sophistication are hardly found in such maddening supply as in the rapacious ravings of Mr. Jacobson and his clique, false liberals who put the lie to their pompously self-proclaimed tolerance by their embrace of the day’s flash-in-the-pan non-mores and their smug intolerance to anything resembling a life wisely lived. Goebbels would be proud.
Else how to explain his unabashed reinvention of a clearly troubled, and yes, worthy, young lady as a lone crusader against the might of those mindless minions from Planet Monroe? Could it be they don’t want a child growing up thinking drugs, and worse, are okay?
Mr. Jacobson’s scurrilous screed is the latest car in a never-ending train of deft, snide broadsides against religion, Orthodox Judaism, and “Hasidism” (whatever that is) that has ridden the rails of New York’s left-wing media monoliths since Chasidim planted American roots post-World War II.
It would seem that Jacobson would have tender four-year-olds raised on diets of directionlessness instead of walking with the existence-explaining lessons of the ages.
Granted, there are issues in Kiryat Joel—issues that have even lifelong KJ natives growing increasingly restless, though “symptoms” is possibly the better appellation—primarily, the troglodyte terrorists, and perverts who call themselves the Vaad HaTznius. Neither trained in civil service nor licensed in any of the mental-health arts, this nameless, faceless goon squad perpetrates the vilest of home invasions, acts of intimidation and utter lack of classic Jewish ‘mentchlichkeit’ in their misguided Mafia tactics in a war long lost.
It is high time for the death of the Vaad HaTznius as we now know it—and its radical rebirth as a professional, sensitive organization complete with the currently-lacking office, phone number and credentials. If there is one sole reason for Gitty and others like her to jump the ship of faith, it is the Vaad HaTznius.
But there are issues everywhere. Any authentically open-minded liberal, unlike the current iteration of Mr. Jacobson, will readily admit that happiness is no more readily found in the decadent indulgences of secular humanism than it is in the regimented, simplistic lifestyles of religious isolationism.
Even Gitty Grunwald herself, that unwitting new champion of Manhattanesque materialism, admits as much when of her KJ hometown she informs Mr. Jacobson: “I envy them sometimes. They never have to make another decision in their whole lives.”
Tellingly, Mr. Jacobson does not pursue that angle. But naturally, lofty journalist that he is, gleefully renders the Vaad Hatznius as the rule, not the exception, while blithely ignoring the astoundingly effective social-justice ecosystem that thrives in KJ (and every other major Orthodox community). We ask: when was the last time anyone read an article in the secular media profiling the so many good deeds and organizations of the Chasidic Orthodox community? And we rhetorically wonder: do these slanted smears really reflect nothing more than jealousy of a societal model that, for all its warts, still works better than today’s mainstream? It sure seems that way.
To Ms. Grunwald, we say that the answer is not out there. It’s inside. Happiness can be yours, even in Kiryat Joel, whose doors will lovingly remain open should the key of honest exploration be used to turn their handles. So do the right thing.
And to Mr. Jacobson, estranged cousin of a fellow Jew, about the kindest reaction we can muster is to smile in disapproval while reminding you that journalism once meant getting the facts. And while you’re at it, do scrutinize your soul and get in touch with your true feelings. You see, change the byline and you’ve got a piece Matt Hale could have written himself—and that anti-Semitism should rightfully shock you.
truth hurts?
it was an insightful piece.
wow!!!! how true, and so eloquently said.
Its really a shem, i agree with our editor 100%
I didn’t unerstand not one woord what he wrote heere & I promise you that ms grunwald wil neither she doesn’t speak english well that’s why she can’t find a job
Anyway hatzlucha on bashing the vaad hatznios
P.S. Where are ur comments about the rosenbeeg contreversy ?
wish i would of written your blog first/excellent 100%
as far as the VAAD HATZNIUS let me be kind and remind all of the talmudic dictum” KUL HAPOSEL BMOOMO POSEL” THE REST IS SELF UNDERSTOOD
“since Chasidim planted American roots post-World War II.”
They were here before then.
you forget that her grandparents WERE NOT SATMAR CHASSIDIM her mother flipped out and went satmar and raised her that way , but the article details her spending time with her grandparents who she sees have a normal life outside of satmar the way it was before. she has to go dress up one way just to see her won child its kind of depressing anyway.
But why cant they all just get along? who is stopping who?
seems the chasidim have their own homemade version of kids/adults at risk!!
its a diffrent world out their today and if we dont face up to it and prepare for it were all in trouble whether litvish yeshivish chasidish etc
if children are prepared and shown love and the geshmak of living al pi torah we stand a chance otherwise the allure of the street will unfortunatly prevail
What’s this ignoramous woman doesn’t want to realize, is that “KJ Girls” have an option to leave, unlike the “Afghan Girls” under the rule of the Taliban.
KJ is a lifestyle, that is chosen by young adults, to either stay and adhere, or leave.
She had no right to snatch that child away from her father, instead, they should have worked out a shared-custody plan.
Whether she agrees or disagrees with the KJ lifestyle, the child is not her’s only. She needs to take resonsibility for her actions, & seek out inner-peace on her own. Mocking the KJ lifestyle, will only make her look like the disturbed fool she is.
KJ is private property and nobody must live there
While I do agree that NYMag is just pushing a “religious Jews are crazy” liberal anti religious agenda. I also think its important to keep in mind there are some serious issues with the way the Kiryas Yoel community dealt with this. Sure, the article may be one sided, but if she doesn’t want to be frum, that’s her G-D GIVEN choice. As terrible as it is to have to sit by and watch as a mother introduces her child to a non religious lifestyle. It’s still the mothers choice, or rather the family court judges choice. As such this should be presented in a court of law and custody should be calmly and rationally decided there.
There are some horrible stereotypes there that are shamefully pushed as if fact. The writer obviously hate religion and it’s obvious that this whole family has a history of dysfunction. It’s a very sad story, but K.J (and all frum communities for that matter) have to learn how to deal with people who stop being frum more mentchlichly. In the end, like I said, this is a story about a mother, a father and a child and its up to the courts to decide who gets the right to raise her. If you think that by shoving religion down this young girls throat and ripping her away from her mothers arms is going to save her soul you are wrong. She will just continue the cycle in 15 years and be in the same spot as her mother.
It’s time for us, as frum Jews, to learn how to deal better with our fellow brothers and sisters, no matter what spiritual level they are on. We shouldn’t be constantly looking down on them and deciding FOR THEM what is best for them. If she hadn’t felt so trapped and hopeless in that community in the first place she may have never left, or maybe sought a divorce in a normal frum manner. Instead she was smothered and isolated and dragged along forcefully with every little part of her life, which resulted in her dramatically gasping for air and setting forth this terrible chain of events.
There is plenty of blame to go around, let’s not pretend it’s all just an anti religious agenda. It’s much bigger then that.
Kudos to the editors of VIN. So well and eloquently written. You need to get your piece out to the mainstream media, or at least as a letter to the editor of the NY mag., although I highly doubt that they will print it. To Gitty I say, Satmar does not have to be your way of life if you so choose, but you at least owe it to your child to explore other factions of orthodox jewry, which has so much beauty to offer. It doesn’t have to be Satmar or all the way to the other extreme. It’s not like you left to choose an intelligent, intelectual way of life out there. You have to turned to the lowliness of American carefreeness of drugs and alcohol. Does not measure very highly on the richter scale of any high standard moral society. Gitty, come back to see the beauty of what your culture and religion has to offer. Don’t seek the gratification elsewhere. We have it within. Ironically, if getting high, etc. would be rampant in KJ, you would be criticizing them for that. Now however, you have turned to that. I beseesch you to think hard and strong. It’s 2 people’s lives at stake here (as you have said in your interview with Jacobson), your’s and your beautiful daughter’s. Go do the right thing. On a side note to the VIN editorial staff: We would love to hear your thoughts on the Rosenberg issue. Let it roll.
GREENWALD SHOULD BE IMBARSED OF THE INFO SHE GAVE TO JACKOBSON I READ THE ARTICLE
IT’S A SHANDE TO SEE THAT A JEWISH PERSON COULD TALK & BELITTLE JEWISH HALACHA & TRADITIONS.
GREENWALD HAS HER OWN CHOICE TO BE WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE, BUT HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE FUN OF THE TORAH & HALACHA
THE ARTICLE IN THE MAGAZINE IS A PURE CHILLUL HASHEM.
Benny you couldnt have said it better, it is private property if you choose to live there, you choose to follow the rules, if you cant leave.
Very sad article read it in the magazine last night, honostly i dont blame Gitty at all she comes from a real mixed up family, its not like she came from a real settled family and chose to live a different way, her mother was the one who chose a different life.
What i find the saddest part is, that KJ and the father are fighting for this little 4 year old girl, its sad because she will end up like her mother, its not possible otherwise, if you look through the 25 pictures that they have in the magazine, you can see this 4 year old girl is nebech leading a double life, she doesnt know whats right or wrong, she changes clothing/toys when going to her mother and changing them back when she goes back to monroe.
my heart goes out to the father, for him to have to deal with this now and the rest of his life.
She’ll come around Bez”h.
With all due respect to VIN News, I think you are over-reacting to the article. Using nazi-like comparisons (Goebbels would be proud, Matt Hale reference etc.) erodes some of your other valid points. We cant shout ‘anti-semite!!’ every time someone paints a picture of us that we find less than appealing.
I did not gather from the NYMAG article any anti-religious bias at all. The article, however flawed, was a simple conveyance of Gitty’s ordeals and personal demons. In order for the reader to understand whats going on, he painted what seemed to be a fair caricature of chassidic life in KJ. The truth is, no matter how well you paint it, life in KJ and the whole concept is so alien to mainstream Americans that it is bound to come off as negative. So what did you want him to say? Did he make up anything that was outright false?
Let’s remember that KJ had exclusive control oer Gitty for the first 20 years of her life. They had the exclusive opportunity to mold her mind and turn her into the model of chassidic chastity they venerate. THEY FAILED. She saw through the vapid artificial piety of the community and saw it for what it is, an ersatz representation of religion, predicated upon dishonesty, mysoginy, throught suppression and theft of government benefits. She saw all that because, as the child of outsiders, she lacked yichus, and was denied the warmth, love and tender embraces communities like KJ reserve only for true insiders. Is it any wonder she recoiled in disgust?
The way to deal with people who don’t want to be frum anymore is with LOVE. By fighting against them you only push them further away from G-d. This little girl will one day grow up and hear the stories and won’t want to be a part of that community either. Ahavas Yisroel is the key, not talking down to Gitty or telling her YOU know whats best for her …
Private property?
The last time I checked KJ was an incorporated village, not private property.
tHERE ARE MANY BITTER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, AND THEY WILL FIND AN EXCUSE TO JUSTIFY THEIR BITTER ATTITUDE.
KJ is Noah’s Ark in a world that is drowning in immorality and atheism. Sometimes, an Ark can seem somewhat confined. But it’s better than going outside in the flood and drowning.
I know gitty and her Ex personally. There is a lot of lying in here things are made 10x worse in the article.
This would never happen in CHABAD, they know how to treat people with love and bring them back to yiddiskeit, SHAME on the mainstream chasiddim for dealing with her that way…
“primarily, the troglodyte terrorists”
For those of us who do not live in KJ, what does this mean please?
I thought the article was fair and gave an accurate portrait of how the fanatical community could ruin a person’s life and their ability to act on their own. Having worked with those who escaped that cultish way of life, I can only say that things could have been worse for Gitty. I wish her strength in her battle.
“A FRUM MINNESOTAN Says:
This would never happen in CHABAD”
Leah Kleim proves your point, correct?
the lebuvither rabbi use to say y talk bginusun shel ysreal when you can talk bshvuchn
Never happen in Chabad?! I take it you are a Baal Teshuvah through Chabad; I want to see your kids be meshadach with an established Chabad family, or will they look at you as a BT? Chabad has the same issues as the rest of the world. After the second world war, there were many more Chabad Chasidim in the US than Satmar. For some reason, although both groups have large families, the only way Chabad can reach population levels rivaling that of Satmar is to include everyone who has ever walked into a Chabad house, frum or not. Who is being more successful at retaining youth; Chabad or Satmar?
Please, leave politics and cynics out of this, and concentrate on real issues!
11:11- Since when does KJ has ‘exclusive’ control over someone? No one has had any control over me in the past 30 yrs here.
tootired- you obviously do not know KJ well enough. I invite you for a visit. Many people here choose to live life the way they want, not the way the vaad hatznios directs.
Dovid- You are right. The things she said were against the Torah, not KJ. And every yid that gives her right probably also has a ‘problem’ with the restrictions of taharas hamishpacha.
Chaim Rubin- Of course KJ has it’s problems, which place does not?
10:21- Your answer baffled me the most. Truths??? I was aghast at the blatant lies that she said about KJ, and jews in general.
10:46- You are right. No one forced her to live here.
10:39- You certainly are not very religious yourself. (or you wish you weren’t born jewish.)
And finally, why don’t we look at it this way,this girl did not grow up in a typical KJ home, so who is she to bash us so?
I am proud to live and raise my kids in KJ. I am very well aware of the problems here too, and yet I think that anyone with a bit of common sense could live here ‘even’ if they don’t follow the ultra strict Satmar guidelines.
Her problem is not about Satmar or KJ, it is about being jewish!!! And all of you who think she is RIGHT, how would you feel if ‘your’ child wanted ‘out’ of yiddishkait? I am sure you would be so thankful that he/she is happy being unstable and drugged. (after all happiness is what counts.)
No one is blaming Gitty, and no one should blame the Vad Hatznuis either. She is a lost soul that needs help, and only Hashem can help her find her way back. But the way this article was written is definitely giving a lot of pain and shame to GD. It is a massive chilull hashem, and betrays the Torah and its Mitzvos. And for those of you who think that this article brings out the point of how ‘fanatical’,you have a very big misconception. The torah is here to guard us, and give us guide lines. It is not here to make our lives miserbale. It is here to enhance our lives, and make it a better one. Each person can choose which way of living, and there are many choices. And if you feel it’s too fanatic, then move down. Gives no right for anyone to go from something to nothing, and especially to redicuile and mock the Torah.
Bird in sky – I think you are 100% right. And have a very strong point.
THANK YOU bird in sky & Anonymous
FINALLY SOMEONE IS SEEING THAT THIS ARTICLE IS A CHILLUL HASHEM.
“WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KOVED OF HASHEM”
GREENWALD SHOULD KNOW BETTER THEN THIS.
THERE IS NO WAY TO JUSTIFY THIS ARTICLE
Isn’t their anyone higher than the so called vaad hatznius in Monroe? Do they just have free reign to do whatever they please?
Whoever is allowing them to terrorize the community is just as guilty as they are.
I think that so many in the community are so terribly insecure and ignorant about the true halachos in the Torah, and that’s why they allow the perverted vaad to dictate to them what they can and cannot do.
If everyone would start learning the Shulchan Orach on their own, instead of just leaving it for the Dayanim, the vaad would’nt be able to mess with their heads so easily.
So listen up Monroe community.
LEARNING TORAS EMES IS YOUR BEST WEAPON.
The vaad will just shrivel up and die when you confront their SHEKER with the EMES.
BECAUSE EMES ALWAYS WINS.
Ha, Ha, No barbie dolls, sob:( . I know many goyim don’t want it for their kids.
No DVDs, You don’t know what I have in my closet.
TH, embarrasing? My ‘husband’ has the great honor of going to ask my shaalos.
Respectful goyim, would not want such pictires of them in a newspaper.
Disgusting.
I just love the way her prettiness is constantly mentioned, is it a sin to be pretty in KJ?
Gitty is rejecting yiddishkeit. That is all there is to this story. I don’t think her ex should just sit in the sidelines, and let his daughter be raised by a drugged hippie.
Nebach. Gitty comes from a mixed up family as you could see her grand father is proud of his Gay Son & daugther which adopted color children etc. I wish someone would show her what yidden are all about, and how nice it really is to live a real yiddisha life. And a pure life with all the halochos. Look around and see a nice yiddish family and a non yid. Family see who has more nachas from their family?
you guys are all missing the point what an idiot now she is so lucky a waitress, drug addict ha but wow she can eat shrimp there are plenty normal jewish women that choose to leave KJ and lead normal happy lives and enjoying there family us religous jews have amazing family values that the whole world is jealous of there is a golden middle way between KJ viebele and throwing it away totally maybe KJ should have a good look at there chinuch system and start teaching true jewish values as opposed to banning GOLDEN SHOES and Nuchem rosenberg its about time they wake up and relize that its 2008 not 1952 and its time to relate to the times so this generation can actually find being jewish a privilege as opposed to a burden find shabbos beutiful as opposed to a pain in the neck maybe they should teach there girls to wear makeup and look like daughters of royalty as opposed to looking like drabs with oversized clothing and thick ugly tights that when they go out of there bubble they resent the way they look how many kurbunos will it cost satmar until they adjust there methods?
Commentators keep on bringing up that she mocks the Torah. I dont see that… I only see her mocking some of the Satmar rules and regs. (some deservedly)
Can someone please point out for me where she actually mocks the Torah?
I dont know if I deleted my firts comment by accident so sorry if it is a repeat.
There are so many Gitty’s in our midst that try to get out of a life that is not for them.Then there are those who just go on and follow the rabbi or man of the house like robots and are dead inside (no say in matters, dress, education and sometimes even enjoying marital relations). From what I see/hear and know of KJ it is just as bad as a cult. Gitty got out of a life she did not believe in anymore. She is still a Jew and that will always be the case no matter what she does or dresses like. Judaism has many sects and levels of faith, culture and customs not all people have to pick one form of practicing our faith in G-d. I wish Gitty well and lots of mazal!
tootired-
You don’t see? Maybe you need magyifing glasses? Or maybe you’re in the same situation as her. Firstly, making fun of Satmar, and KJ is also Torah – it’s their way of Torah. Each indivisual has their own choice of how to take upon their Torah. And what about the part that she’s making fun of Tharas Hamishpacha and the halachis, that is the main base of a marriage. NOTHING TO DO WITH KJ OR MONROE. Stop being foolish and sticking up for nonsense. This is a horror and Busha for Hashem and the Torah.
There are valid points on both sides here. What is painfully obvious is that when people take to becoming judgmental, then only chatastrophe ensues. There is only One Judge.
Shaul Boruch Says:
There are valid points on both sides here. What is painfully obvious is that when people take to becoming judgmental, then only chatastrophe ensues. There is only One Judge.
That’s right. Bottom line, this article is really not giving anyone any good thoughts.
BS”D
There are 2 issues here. Gitty, who is already gone and clearly not a fit parent, and Esther Miriam, who is being used by her confused mother as a pawn.
I have no time to mince words. Gitty is an unfit parent.
To those who are not blaming Gitty because she never had a choice raised in KJ.
A 20 year old woman has the choice whether or not to take drugs
A 20 year old woman has a choice whether or not to be promiscuous
A 20 year old woman has a choice about holding down a job.
Plenty of people are abused and they don’t act in as narcissitic of a manner as this woman.
Her time for the pity party is up. It’s her daughter’s turn now.
Her daughter is not there to give her a sense that she is a mother. Her daughter needs a stable, loving caring mother. If she cared about her daughter – she wouldn’t have her picture in a newspaper.
We can judge. If only so that we never become that which she is.
TO THE DEFENDER OF CHABAD:
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MALKIE SCHWARTZ OF FOOTSTEPS WHO EASES OFF THE DERECH CHASSIDIM INTO SECULAR SOCIETY. SHE IS A PRODUCT OF CROWN HEIGHTS & IS VERY DANGEROUS.
tootired — she openly mocks some of hilchot niddah that all frum people follow.
In general, she does seem to be a confused young woman who has no clue how to run her life, let alone be frum Jew. This is probably due to a combination of a unstable family life and growing up in perhaps the most isolated Jewish community in the world. She was never taught how to be a Jew in this world — only a Jew in KJ.
did you read the part where she derides the halochos of bedika — and blows it way out of porportion? Did you then read all the comments about that issue, and think of the chillul Hashem that that made? that is not satmar rules, that’s torah rules!!
NY MAG: “The husband SNATCHED her daughter away”, LOL.. and what did she do? she actually SNATCHED THE BABY while RUNNING away from her husband to a “better” life (of drugs, loneliness and joblessness..) her husband acted accordingly, now it’s the courts decision, no snatching, baby!
HESH says; This is probably due to a combination of a unstable family life and growing up in perhaps the most isolated Jewish community in the world. She was never taught how to be a Jew in this world — only a Jew in KJ.
KJ stands in the center of NY state, it is no isolated world, especially in 2008, there are many types of people there from ultra ultra, up to almost modern (unfortunately), no one forces no body to act or live 100% as they wish.
but, there are organizations like Vaad Hatznius etc, that take care when major problems come up, when there is a child molester on the loose, or a perp spreading porn etc, then they come to action, and this is the reason why in such a big population there aren’t too many such rotten apples like this Gitty is.
this NYMAG article is a total misconception, drawing wrong pictures and illustrations period.
Why is it ok for the KJ people to snatch away teh daughter and bring her back to KJ? Why weren’t the police called? This point has nothing to do with which parent the little girl should be with. It has do do with dececy and morals and kidnapping a child is not moral. period.
“We ask: when was the last time anyone read an article in the secular media profiling the so many good deeds and organizations of the Chasidic Orthodox community?”
Alot of the wonderful chesed organizations like satmar bikur cholim are run by women who would never let a reporter near the operation because it is not modest. Masbiah soup kitchen was all over the news last year in newspapers and tv. the media goes where you let them go. if you dont let them in and treat them normally or welcome them they can not enter.