Sullivan County, NY – It was a Saturday afternoon in July, and according to the police report, the young man was driving drunk. So drunk, in fact, that he drove into the oncoming lane, rolled his car, crashed into a cottage and then tried to flee the scene on foot.
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It’s a sad but not surprising story—except for the details: the driver was an Orthodox Jew, vacationing in the Catskills. It was Sabbath, and he was wasted. Milton Berle was echoing the generations-old conventional wisdom when he quipped that “Jews don’t drink much because it interferes with their suffering.” Except, of course, they do. Orthodox Jews especially have started to wrestle with what some say is a growing problem of alcohol abuse in their communities.
Editorialists in Jewish papers and blogs wring their hands over the college students who wind up in the emergency room after over-imbibing on Purim or the men who leave Saturday services en masse to tipple in the cloakroom before returning, rowdy and indecorous, to the sanctuary in time for the sermon.
In 2005, the Orthodox Union (which oversees the nation’s Orthodox synagogues) issued a strong statement against these “kiddush clubs.” “They were drinking not only the [ceremonial] kiddush wine, but fine single-malt whiskey with a sumptuous smorgasbord,” says Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, executive vice president of the Orthodox Union. “It’s not only drinking, it’s idealized drinking, which is a very, very bad message for the kids.” Many synagogues have since curtailed the clubs, he says.
Alcohol problems always carry a stigma, but in Orthodox circles that stigma is particularly constraining. “Everybody’s looking at each other and thinking, ‘Is this a family I want my son or daughter to marry into?’ ” explains Jonathan Katz, director of a New York City-based group for Jewish alcoholics and addicts called JACS. That’s why, Rabbi Weinreb says, some Orthodox drinkers go to Alcoholics Anonymous groups in church basements, where they won’t see anyone they know.
But other Jewish drinkers like to deal with their problem among their own. JACS offers 12-step groups, and a Jewish-only rehab center in Los Angeles called Beit T’shuva includes Jewish spirituality in its recovery program. Young men in rabbinical training at the Yeshivat Chovevei Torah and elsewhere take alcohol-awareness seminars, and in November, JACS published a book of confessional essays about alcohol by Jewish women.
The truth is, though, that Jews don’t drink—much. Historically, Jews have not had alcohol problems to the extent as some other religious groups—only 11 percent of Jewish men have problems with alcohol abuse and dependence, compared with 28 percent of non-Jewish men. Researchers aren’t sure why, but point to a possible combination of factors. It could be that Jews, who for generations have lived as guests in a host country, feel pressure to be “on our best behavior,” as Katz puts it. It could be that rigorous religious observance inoculates people against drunkenness—shown to be true across religions. Or it could be genetic: some Jews do have a form of a gene, also common in Asians, which can protect against alcohol abuse.
Weinreb says he sees drunkenness much more often these days, especially among younger people who think nothing of bringing a six-pack to a party. New research is beginning to support the rabbi’s worries: young Jews do seem to be more vulnerable to alcohol than their parents. A 2007 study showed that Israelis younger than 33, especially those without the protective gene, are much more likely to engage in excessive drinking than those who are older. Small studies on recent Russian immigrants in Israel and Jewish college students in the United States show that under the right kind of environmental circumstances, some Jews do engage in heavy drinking. For anyone who’s ever been to a bar or a college campus, that’s hardly a headline.
we have to realize the secular papers are readin al the stories here and our posts, not eberything belongs on the net or in public.
How else will those who have a drinking problem find out that resources are available to help them. Publicity is a necessity!
What I understand from my Jewish friends this has gotten out of hand. It is time that the leaders(Rabbis) of the community wakes up and takes responsibity to do something about it. As you say it is a chilul hashem. I live in a very orthodox area since I was a little boy
Maybe every hashgacha and rav hamachshir as well as every rav in every shul should not give their hashgacha if there are alchoholic beverages including wine served at the simcha and the rav should not go to the simcha if the rules are not adhered to.
You can always count on Dr. Weinreb to eagerly “pile on” with his negativity. His dislike and disparaging view point of bnei torah is unfortunately well known.
I Look at this as a media publicity headline, than an actual problem.
Yes, there incidents but its rare. Gettin on the hig once in a while is not what we should be worried about.
Rabbi Twersky has seen this quite a few years ago and opened centers for such problems. Unfortunately people think that it is okay to drink on Shabbos. The minhag of old was to make kiddush on liquor Shabbos morning before seuda. What was a small liquor cup equivalent to such as the disposable liquor cups filled once has turned into goblets of strong stuff be it Shlivovitz,JOhnny Walker etc.
The ones to suffer are the family with a father who sleeps at the seuda and then spending all afternoon sleeping away.
Yes, the Rabbonim of the shuls have to be more involved and on top of their mispallelim. If the wife complains that Shabbos is not Shabbos, she should not be told “what don’t we do for Shalom Bayis”..then we wonder why so many children go the other way. Perhaps the askanim should invite themselves to Shabbos morning seudos and they will be in for an eye opener!
Passaic Rav, the problem is so great you can’t even imagine. You are probably on top of every aspect of your kehilla, unfortunately it is not so in kehillos of such as Boro Park, Williamsburg, etc. The Rabbonim are busy with their own court cases and din toras. All else is poo pooed!
The fact that this story about the irresponsible actions of one frum young man should remind us all that our actions can lead to a tremendous chilul Hashem.
We all know that among a limited number of Yiddin there is presently a drinking problem, but for it to be carried in a national magazine and read by people throught the country who have never ever seen a frum Yid is a shanda.
Since there are no reliable statistics, one would be hard pressed to support a notion that there is a drinking problem among Jews that rivals or surpasses the incidence among the non-Jewish at large. However, it is equally ignorant to get stuck in denial that it doesn’t exist. And for the alcoholic, the statistics do not matter if he/she is the 1% or the 15%.
There has been dramatic growth in the population of frum Jews, and all the problems that existed in the past have grown right along with them. Where there may have once been a shtetl shikker, there are now more of them. I hesitate to believe there is an increase in the proportion, but the fact that there is now a growing “community” of drinkers to excess is enough to be frightening. Many of us are well aware of the classic forms of denial, and we are unimpressed.
In the recent Shabbos incident, there are those who wish to point blaming fingers in every which direction. There is probably no single factor. Are “Kiddush Clubs” to blame? Maybe. They should not exist anyway. Have we, as a community, turned a blind eye to the way we use alcohol? Perhaps. Is there an issue of pursuing gashmiyus at the expense of spirituality? That is cited by virtually every baal mussar for generations.
The main issue here is that we continue to suffer from denial, and it is our obligation to address the problems that exist, however small they may be, before we need to sit on the floor and mourn serious losses. There are avenues for help, all far more important than “kol korays” of bans. Let’s get our heads out of the sand, face the problems, and intervene.
And for those who blame the alcohol, remember that the Novi describes “shikores ve’lo mi’yoyin”, drunk but not from wine. There are other addictions, including drugs, gambling, smoking, and numerous others. It is antithetical to avodas Hashem to surrender to the enslavement of an addiction (Chofetz Chaim). The problem is us.
Seen it all,
Dont blame the messenger (Dr. Weinrib). He is a very much on target here.
For you to say that about him shows that you really have no idea who he is and what he really stands for.
Perhaps you should change your “name” to Seen Nutin?
The key is to DRINK RESPONSIBLY! Everyone should know their own limit! Even on Shabbos when we don’t (normally) drive, there should be constraints on drinking to avoid being “Stoned”!
Passaic Rav, there is a problem with getting high on alcohol. You need more next time to achieve that high. And singing nigunim on high does not elevate drunkeness to a spiritual experience. You need to acknowledge there is a problem, or are you the type that fiddles while Rome burns?
Thank you, Benzion Twerski, for the chochma you always add to the dialogue. I am a simple mother in klal Yisroel, a devoted eim b’Yisroel of a yeshivishe mishpocha who has seen too many children fall away from our childrens’ classes over the years. B”H I can’t say I know what these children are doing in their non-yeshivish incarnations, how far they have fallen, but I have formed some ideas about where the slippage occurs and I so wish to say the following:
You say, “the problem is us,” and I believe that will ring true to all who have eyes to see, but I feel that if the problem is “us” that must mean that the existing system which produces our bnei Torah/bnei yeshivos is not taking into account something intrinsic to our humanness and
that if we DO make the necessary modifications the system will cover more ground successfully than it does at this point in time.
I see, for instance, in the upper echelons of our batei midrash, where we find boys who can learn well, behasmada, and stay within the daled amos of halacha, a disturbing absence of vitality. Exercise bein hasedarim is frowned upon, food is bland, books are not kedai, chessed is for girls, but smoking is a good, kosher activity. Even singing on Shabbos is beneath our yeshivish bais midrash bachurim, and mishloach manos are given on Purim “just to be yotzaie”! There is no enthusiasm to be seen in these places. Good, good bochurim smoke at night and bein hasedarim for something to do! Something to feel a kosher thrill. It’s so sad when I think how accomplished these boys are — that they had the kishron And the gevurah it takes to be sholeit over their taivos, but our society tells them it’s nebby to take fresh air, move their muscles, stimulate their being with the sense of aliveness one has when he moves and engages in wholesome activity.
I say no wonder these boys smoke — they are in the prime of their lives physically and they have succeeding in living within a type of cage. I say no wonder they drink a bit here and there. And I say it’s a kal vechomer on the majority of bachurim, who, being human, are going to have a much harder time denying and filing away their enthusiasms for life until marriageable age.
So I say that when you live in a shtetl, you have no choice; when you are post-holocaust and building up klal Yisroel you don’t have a choice. But when millions are born into a comfortable, open society there are choices a person can make. I feel that the yeshivishe velt does not know how to live outside the shtetl, and too often it idolizes shtetl conditions. Klal Yisroel needs the inner strength to live in times of wealth as well as times of poverty — to encourage Yidden to enjoy what Hashem has given us to enjoy and not say it’s the work of the Satan.
This is precisely what I see as the inherent weakness of our yeshivish hashkofa: it denies that what is “us” is us and tries to shame it out of existence. But we are too healthy now, too unafraid of what’s out there to buy that misreading of what we are.
Everyone agrees but who is going lead the way to our geula and kiddush Hashem? Will it be the yeshivish or the couldn’t-be-yeshivish-enough who lead the way?
The problem starts with a lack of Yiras ShoMaim.
People who disappear during Krias HaTorah on Shabbos, in order to make Kiddush with those famous Goyin “Johnny Walker” and “Jack Daniels” have a problem that is not just drinking.
We need a serious “propaganda” campaign aimed at our own community.
Bentzion Twerski you have hit the nail squarely on it’s head. I am sorry to say in the frum world we find excuses and scapegoats for everything. No one is responsible for their own behavior. Self control is not part of the equasion any more. Fat people blame the restaurants, cups are to blame for alcoholism, Oh and of course “the internet” is to blame for everything.
Some shuls don’t let bal habatim make fancy kidushim because someone who can’t afford the same might bancrupt himself in an attempt to “keep up with the cohen’s”.
Helloooo!! How childish have we become? Do we really need to do as MOKO suggests make everything assur because a handful of people have no self control?
Come on people, GROW UP!
That was the older generation having kiddush with Johnny and Jack. Now they make kiddush and then some with the Glens, Glen Livit, Glen Rothes, Glen Fiddich,Glen Farclas, Glen Kinchie,Glen Spey, Glen Ord, and Glen Morangie. There should be a 2 shot limit at any shul kiddush and a total ban on any drinking before the last Kaddish is said. Then Glens do have a place in shule, but only at the appropriate time. Johnny and Jack – I can do without.
jewish mother, above: I don’t know what messed up yeshivas you refer to but I attended one where exercise bain ha’sidorim was just as important as learning in the bais medrish. there’s a time for the soul and a time for the body.
And people, stop blaming the yeshivas! educating children starts and finishes in the home and this is where klal yisroel is really messing up these days. too many parents let yeshivas have their way with kids. you know who my rebbe moovhuk is? My father. I learned more at home about midos than I ever did or could in yeshiva.
so, everyone, quit your whining and just take care of your own children like you’re supposed to.
i agree with 1:33. the basics are what is seen at home.
im in a bungalow colony upstate and saw plenty grown men drink enuf shots to sleep all shabbos afternoon. then when the kid wants it they think its cute that they are being like tatty.
its in no way cute…..its shreklach!!
Alcohol abuse in our community has been tolerated and overlooked for far to long.It almost seems that Simcha is synonymous with drinking heavily. I was mortified to see on Simchas Torah the way grown men inebriated themselves somehow I can’t imagine HKB”H looking down and seeing the drunken chaos that replaced Tefilah! Then there is Purim my favorite one,
when hatzolah has to issue warnings for idiots not to get carried with the drinking so that they don’t have to go on multiple calls to jump start our chevra’s hearts.Does anyone wake up then and say “hey maybe we’ve got a problem”? {at times like these the Irish look sober!!!!}
By the way I hold the adults as well responsible for providing minors alcohol who come collecting.
just a “l’chaim” at every one’s house has proven dangerous and even fatal!!!
Now it seems that for some {a growing population in all sects of jews!!}Shabbos is a day of non-stop kiddush drinking. It’s a sad day when your neighbor STUMBLES home from shul with a couple of buddies loud in the streets. In the community that’s okay because you can’t drive anyway right so who cares, right? Well now we know it’s not okay {unfortunately the rest of the world is reading our realizations as well} and we have to do something…now!
1-I’ve noticed a lot of simchas no longer have bars..there is start! If you think you can’t achieve happiness w/o a drink….realize you have a problem!
2-remember, your little shabbos intoxications, guess what your children will…next generation of boozers right there!
3-Not to preach but USHEMARTEM MEOD…your killing your liver and a lot of other functions in your body!
Let’s help our fellow jew because what’s happening is not o.k.!!
Dear ThinkDeeper:
You did a real good job of plagiarizing my nomdeplume, but you missed the main point. Think Deeper.
One aspect of the problem is that we are chasing the materialistic values of the Gentile society around us. We are victims of Golus.
But, the real problem is Am-HaoRatzUs. The lack of Torah that results in a lack of Torah Hashkofo to guide and protect us from our environment.
As PoGo famously said: “We have met the enemy, and he is US!”
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I did not realize the incident they referred to was a yid. What a tragedy! Being so drunk that he forgot it was Shabbos.
Of course most people I have heard comment on this inyan all say the same thing – couldnt happen to me – which is also a shame. We need to learn from these stories and see what it is that we need to do in our lives to avoid these issues.
We need to realize that this is a problem and granted we may not have the same problems as other people, we do have issues that should be addressed somehow.
Kudos to the outreach organizations and yeshivas that actually do address them however perhaps it is time that the more “mainstream” yeshivas and orgs come out “officially” against alcohol (as well as smoking & drug) use.
Remember USE is part of ABUSE.
what was he doing driving on saturday
2:15 – Either he forgot it was Shabbos or forgot he was Jewish – that’s why he was driving on “Saturday”. It must take a lot of drinking to be that forgetful. As is unually the case the drunk survived the accident uninjured. Fortunatly, he didn’t maim or kill any bystanders. I’m all for a shot or 2 at a Shabbos kiddush but there must be moderation.
o please they are making a huge stinck about nothing!!!
every1 should just ignore it and move on!! threirs a millone stuff to write about JUST MOVE ON!!
listen you have to know your limits
i drink every shabbos
friday night wine…
shabbos morning good burbon…
but i never got that drunk to drive on shabbos
if you cant drink then dont bother with it…
All you “move on’ers” are probably the very guilty ones!
For sure if u keep on drinking is no good , but shabbos morning a few shots of Grey Goose (the best) a bisel egg kichel ,matyash , shtiglitz,Oneg shabbos herring, Gala ,and a bisel saute & chopped liver is a real Oneg Shabbos
Perhaps the problem begins when adults allow children to just have a bit or a drop. They are not bad adults, but they inadvertently affect the lives of the children entrusted to them. We would never say, :Here darling, have a little poison, but just a little bit my dear.”
It gets really easy to provide the Satan with all the ammo he needs to direct us the wrong way. One of the worst of his tactics is his diabolical way of convincing us that something is a mitzvah, but with the end point of having us go completely wrong. There is no one that should minimize the greatness of Oneg Shabbos. And many of the elements of that are spelled out in halacha quite explicitly. This includes better foods, wine, etc. However, one may easily lose track of just what is Oneg Shabbos, and what is plainly oneg haguf – simple hedonistic pleasures. One is truly a mitzvah, and the other quite the opposite.
Having stated this, I will express my strongest protest about the “liquor thing”. It is true, that one may reserve the finest in anything Lekavod Shabbos. However, the distinction between oneg haguf and Oneg Shabbos gets harder to detect. With this not being the easiest for us adults to navigate, how are we supposed to master that in teaching our children? One of the advantages of the better liquors is that they go down smoother, and it becomes just a bit harder to know when one has had enough. (I am talking from the vantage point of hearing this from alcoholics. I personally cannot stand liquor, and never drink it. I lack the personal experience about this.)
An earlier comment highlighted the concept of moderation. It deserves repetition. The challenge is that some people cannot exercise moderation. Perhaps there is a predisposition to addiction. Perhaps there are issues that the alcohol effects help the individual to cope. Perhaps there is an environment to imbibe with loose limits and achieve a state of “buzz”. I certainly believe in moderation. The reality remains that this is an impossibility for some people, and their only option is to refrain completely.
Anonm – I agree with your comment about the schools and Rabbis. How long should innocent people have to suffer? The cancer needs to be cut out immediately!
the problem also is that the official soft drink in many yeshivas & shuls is along the lines of Johnny Walker or Crown.
Its a complete Bizayon!
DEEPTHINKER – we dont need any more propaganda. We get enough of that from Yated and Hamodia. What we need is honest journalism willing to call a spade a spade.
go erev shabbos to shoprite in the mountains . you can see BOCHARIM WALKING POUT WITH CASES OF BEER.TAKING IT BACK TO CAMP . HELP
What about the unlimited drinking that goes on in Israel, where it is ‘required’ to send your kids now??ALL the yeshivos know and ‘accept’ the behavior..and then when the kids come back, both boy s and girls, they’ve had the ‘taste already ingrained!! Then it’s a real problem..and even if the home was 100% clean of this, the kids themselves, due to the YESHIVA”S neglect, have become addicted!! It doesnt just start at kiddushim…
What a bunch of Dimwits. It has come to the point, that some only come for the Kiddush, and by that, meaning that they manage to slip somewhere, in the Middle of leining, and a couple of minutes later, they are already after kiddush, and just come into shul to disturb the rest of the Services.
You have all seen this happen, over and over again.
Passaic Rav, do you job, please. Stop behaving like your fellow Rabbanim trying to dilute a real issue. Cut out Vaad Hatznius get togethers and replace the time with Tachlis. This problem like the others facing us must be dealt with by people like you or the authorities will do it for you.
Unfortunately there are too many problems but the wrong ones are dealt with to avoid the real problems. It’s about time that we admit there are issues and deal with it. Just because a bocur knows how to learn doesn’t mean he is ehrlich. One must really check each person and know his whereabouts 84 hours of the week!
one person get’s drunk and now jews are becoming alcoholics!! stastistics are biased and meaningless. chaval
Anonymous
8:51
Wrong. It’s not one drunk and now Jews are alcoholics. This story changed nothing. However, if we use this event as a lesson, we can learn from the experience. Is it so frightening to recognize that perhaps we are not treating alcohol properly? Are we afraid of the awareness that some of the messages we give our children by our behavior (collective) are unhealthy? Or is it better to just chalk up another unfortunate incident and to have learned nothing from it?
The only purpose of gaining insight into what happened there is to find the lessons to learn. I do not care who the family is, not the yeshiva the boy attended, not the model of car he drove. The brand of liquor is also meaningless. I do wonder whether there was more involved besides alcohol, though none of the news reports indicated there was such suspicion. But all we need to do with this is identify what we need to modify to prevent incidents like this from recurring, with their potential tragic impact.
This is not a wrong problem to address, it is just one of many. And it is unfortunate that there are too many that have become noteworthy lately. Feeling overwhelmed by all this is quite uncomfortable.
The problem is not Kiddush. The problem is that we approach this mitzvah with a mission to please ourselves, not Hakodosh Boruch Hu. Will we ever learn?
There is nothing wrong with brumfen at kiddushim to celebrate a simcha – just as our Zaydes did. Its when we stop treating alcohol as our Zaydes did – is where the problems begin
You joyless litvaks are out to take away every taanug that the yidden have! Do none of you understand “Ein simcha ella busser v’yayin”? Sure there are alcohol abusers out there, just as there are obese people who “abuse” food, or have emotional or genetic predispositions. Leave everyone alone with your self righteous pontifications and great ideas to ban alcohol or take away hashgacha where alcohol is served.
I would like to bring forth the following idea. When a person has fever, it is an indication that he has an infection inside. We as human beings, parents, children, and adults do not have limits to anything. We indulge in food, and we feed into our every desire. Our lack of limitations and self control causes us to get carried away by our temtations. This manifests itself in areas such as smoking, drinking and using. Our lack of fullfilment prompts us to satisfy the gaping hole in our hearts in destructive ways. What we don’t realize is that we are not addressing the root of the problem, we arent looking to see what the infection is within.
Yes parents, we are a video to our children. Our children see all we do, and thus parrot our every move. When you parents come late to shul, or you smoke in a place where there is ano smooing sign, you are showing that the sign is meaningless, and albeit all your parental teachings they learn to disobey and disregard rules, and customs. Parents should know that children are like wine that is fermenting;if it’s starting to turn sour the more sugar you put in, the more it will cook, and worsen. Parents, you gave your children cell phones, computers, ipods, etc…..Now youre wondering why they are drinking??? Lets revert back to parents of yesteryear… let us show them that we love them even though we sometimes say no!
I wish you all lots of luck, sober children and brachos ad b’li dai!
IF IT IS TRUE THAT EVEN FIVE PERCENT OF FRUM MEN HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM THEN THE FRUM COMMUNITY SHOULD BAN ALL WHISKEY FROM ALL SIMCHAS
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WE MUST HAVE WISKEY AT A FRUM SIMCHA.
The yeshiva world has to stop believing that every single thing outside the walls of the yeshiva is traif. We are raising a generation of cripples. Boys who have the technical skills of a blatt gemorah MAYBE and no knowledge of anything else. So of course they drink. They don’t read, they don’t have sports (for “goyim” only) –how many times did I hear about the Bahaima who plays ball–they don’t have outside interests of any sort, so they have not mental or physical stimulation, so of course there are many who will pick up a bottle and get totally drunk and smoke cigarettes because for some reason these destructive activities are kosher.
Why aren’t there more Rabbi Twersky’s in the world. He comes from a rebbeshe background and sees families both litvishe, chasidishe, modern orthodox and sefardim that fall apart because of addictions( especially to alcohol). Lets us not be blind. I myself grew up in a home where my father drank a few shots of whiskey shabbos morning, went to sleep and woke up for mincha. What were we kids doing all this time? How much we could have gained by having a father who would learn and play with us. Let us think of the long term ramifications of our actions. Kudos to Rabbi Twersky who is not afraid nor embarrassed to bring up this issue. My HKB”H give him the courage and strength to continue in his avodas hakodesh saving families from utter destruction.
At the mesivta to which my son went, the hanhola went through the motions before Purim of sternly saying that the boys could not bring alcohol on premises — and then apparently looked the other way as boys got roaring drunk to the point that some were even throwing up. The janitors (all of them non-Jews) were surely kept busy that night and must have had a good laugh at those Jews, many of whom think they are on a “higher madreiga” than mere “goyim” (whom, their rebbes told them, have the souls of “beasts”) — but who were as falling-down drunk as anyone in an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day. I remember that decades ago, my bubbe taught me the old Yiddish folk song about “oy, shikker is der goy” (contrasting how the Jew is in the synagogue with his prayerbook while the “goy” is in a tavern drinking) — but if it was true back in the old days, it isn’t so true anymore.
people wake up!!!!! there is a real problem!!! don’t shove it to the side and say it’s not happening
“In our country there is problem,”
I think the only problem, is the solution most of the posts here seem to suggests.
The only person(s)with the power to stop this particular “disease” is the .. Rabbi .. ?
To much influence and direction is already directed at us from the Rabbi(s).
Maybe, just maybe, this is what has led so many to go out and drink!