Williamsburg NY – Joel Engelman Speaks With The Jewish Week About His Life And Molestation Accusation

    175

    Joel Engelman, yeshiva boy turned rock drummer, on the streets of Williamsburg. Photo Credit: The Jewish WeekWilliamsburg, NY – Joel Engelman was 8 years old the first time he was summoned to the principal’s office at his Satmar school in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Not knowing what he might have done to provoke the call, Joel was nervous, as his principal, Rabbi ,,,, had a reputation for being strict.

    Join our WhatsApp group

    Subscribe to our Daily Roundup Email


    Much to his surprise, however, when he arrived, the principal put him on his lap and began “to change character,” talking to him like a “loving granddaddy,” Engelman told The Jewish Week. But what the principal at the United Talmudical Academy did to the boy that day — and several times a week over the next two months — was far from grandfatherly, Engelman charges in a suit he filed last week.

    It alleges that in 1993, Rabbi ……., now 57, regularly molested him, and that the Satmar school, United Talmudical Academy, later committed fraud by agreeing to dismiss the Rabbi — and then reneging on this once the criminal statute of limitations had passed.

    Engelman’s sexual abuse allegations are the latest in a string of such charges made by former male yeshiva students in ultra-Orthodox schools in Brooklyn.

    Last April, Rabbi Yehuda Kolko, a first grade teacher at Yeshiva Torah Temima in Flatbush, pleaded guilty to two counts of endangering the welfare of a child after being charged with several counts of sexual abuse. Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes defended the last-minute downward plea bargain, citing the young age of the plaintiffs who would have had to testify at a trial.

    Several civil suits pending against Rabbi Kolko and the school seek a total some $50 million in damages.

    The suit filed by Engelman, however, is the first to emerge that involves the Satmar community, one of the largest chasidic sects in the city. Repeated calls to R…. and to UTA for comment were not returned

    “He would swivel the chair from right to left and ask me, ‘How are you? How was your day?’ Engelman said, recalling his meetings with Rabbi ……. as a child. “And then he would start touching me, starting at my shoulders and working his way down gradually, until his hands passed over my private parts.”

    According to Engelman, now 23 and far removed from the insular Satmar community, the rabbi would rub and fondle him for about 15 minutes, all the while asking him how he was doing and what he was thinking. Engelman remembers trying to escape, to no avail. When the rabbi was finally finished he would utter the word — “Dismissed” — and then elicit a promise from Joel not tell his parents what had happened.

    And Engelman kept that promise — for about 10 years, after enduring bouts of anxiety, drug use and suicidal thoughts he says were brought on by the abuse. “I realized that this was controlling my everyday life,” Engelman said. “I have a lot of trouble trusting people. I cannot trust anyone.”

    When he finally mustered the courage to confront the rabbi, in April, the statute of limitations on a criminal prosecution was drawing near. A letter from Engelman and his family to the rabbi stipulated that if rabbi were to resign from his position in the yeshiva and also in a Satmar-run summer camp, where he taught, Engelman would take no legal action.

    He thought he had a deal that month, hammered out with Satmar officials acting on UTA’s behalf. But in court papers filed last week, and first reported on The Jewish Week Web site last Wednesday, Engelman is alleging not only sexual assault and abuse but also “breach of promises and oral contract” in a $5 million civil suit against the Rabbi, UTA and the Satmar Bungalow Colony — a Satmar children’s summer camp in White Lake, N.Y. Rabbi …… was videotaped by Engelman in July teaching at the summer camp, though apparently he had not been teaching at the school since Passover. Engelman said he has since learned that Rabbi …… is the camp’s principal.

    “The defendants fraudulently induced Joel Engelman to enter into this exchange of mutual promises, and oral contract,” the suit alleges.

    It also claims that various Satmar officials investigated Engelman’s allegations and found that “there were multiple, credible complaints of sexual abuse made against that rabbi.”

    “I really didn’t want to get this in the courts,” Engelman told The Jewish Week. “Had [the school] done things differently [and fired Rabbi], I probably wouldn’t have sued. This is the last thing I wanted.

    “They could have admitted the guy had a problem,” Engelman continued. “They could have said, ‘We’re very sorry this happened to you.’ They could have dealt with this honorably, but they didn’t.”

    Rabbi David Niederman, the only community official who would agree to speak with The Jewish Week, expressed skepticism that school officials had ever agreed to the deal Engelman proposed.

    He viewed Rabbi …….return to the summer camp after his initial suspension from the school as an indication that UTA officials did not ultimately find sufficient evidence to back up Engelman’s allegations.

    “It’s only normal when charges like this are brought to suspend the teacher in question and conduct your investigation,” said Rabbi Niederman, a confidant of the Satmar sect’s grand rebbe and head of the United Jewish Organization of Williamsburg, a community-wide advocacy organization. “That’s a totally normal reaction. Then, when you have gathered your information, you act on what you have found.”

    Rabbi Niederman himself had initial contact with the case but says he quickly turned the matter over to “people who have the time and expertise to deal with this.” At his request, Rabbis Meshulem Jakobowitz and Zalman Leitner — part of an informal committee that “deals with sensitive social and religious issues in the community” —got involved, mediating between the school and Engelman. Reached by The Jewish Week, Rabbi Jakobowitz declined to comment. Neither Niederman, Jakobowitz or Leitner are defendants in the suit.

    Rabbi Niederman disclaimed direct knowledge of what happened afterward. Engelman disputes this, claiming that one of the rabbis he worked with on the abuse issue told him of regular calls he received from Rabbi Niederman, a senior community leader, requesting updates.

    Efforts to reach the rabbi in question, whom neither Engelman nor Rabbi Niederman would publicly name, were unsuccessful.

    Today, Joel Engelman is a thoughtful and intense 23-year-old who works as a graphic designer. He is tall and slim, with long hair and a narrow beard, and he favors jeans and heavy metal T-shirts (he plays drums in a heavy-metal band on the side). His life in Greenpoint — he no longer keeps kosher or the Sabbath — is about as far removed from the cloistered life of Satmar Williamsburg as is possible.

    In nearly three hours of interviews over several days last week, Engelman spoke candidly about his life, weaving a tale of long-held secrets and sexual abuse not just at the hands of the rabbi but by older teenage boys and adults as well. It’s a tale of shattered faith and, ultimately, flight from the Satmar womb in which he was raised.

    “I felt that the world was upside down,” Engelman says now, looking back over what he sees as the “hypocrisy” of Rabbi R…. and other rabbis. “We had the holiest of guys telling us not to look at ‘non-kosher’ things, but look what [rabbi] did in private.”

    What the rabbi allegedly did became a private hell for Engelman. Within several months of the onset of the abuse, Engelman began to change. He started having panic and anxiety attacks, and nightmares. He would often roll around on the kitchen floor crying and became unable to sleep at night.

    His schoolwork also began to suffer, as he could no longer concentrate in class. “I was spaced out,” Engelman remembered. “I didn’t concentrate and I didn’t care to concentrate. I didn’t want to think about [the abuse] but I was constantly thinking about it.”

    His parents took him to a doctor who prescribed medication for the anxiety, but never spoke to the boy, so the story of the abuse never came out.

    But it turns out that the alleged abuse at Rabbi …… hands was not the first time Engelman had been subject to such acts. A month or so earlier, he says he was repeatedly sexually abused by a 13-year-old boy, a neighbor who attended the same school. The teen, Engelman said, had threatened to kill him if he ever told his parents.

    Engelman’s older sister, inquiring why he was always late getting home from school, figured out from his vague responses what was going on and told their parents. “Why didn’t you tell us?” they asked me,” Engelman said. Their concern came across to 8-year-old Joel as blame, not an atypical interpretation for a young child, according to psychologists. And he was scared to reveal to them that this had happened again — with Rabbi ……. no less — fearing that they would see it as his fault.

    Engelman’s parents would eventually complain to Rabbi ……., telling him about Joel’s abuse at the hands of his 13-year-old schoolmate. Engelman was told that the boy was beaten up (he never knew by whom); the older boy never touched Engelman again. But soon after his parents reported the abuse to ……, the rabbi called Joel into his office for what would become the first fondling session, he alleges, the strict principal becoming a sweet grandfather to an innocent 8-year-old. To this day, Engelman wonders whether Rabbi …….. took his prior abuse as a cue that he was perhaps primed for more abuse, a vulnerable target.

    By the time he was 13, Engelman says he couldn’t trust anyone. But he was hoping to get a fresh start at yet another yeshiva. (His parents had removed him from UTA several months after the rabbi’s alleged abuse began for unrelated reasons). As it turned out, it was “hell on earth,” the teen studying 15 to 16 hours a day. At this point, he wanted out, often wishing that someone would kidnap him. He was even resigned to having to live on the street if he had to. When he witnessed another boy, a friend of his, being “groomed” for abuse by an older man’s obvious flirtations, his own past history of abuse came rushing back. “I saw abuse all around me,” Engelman said of those days.

    At 14, Engelman started to hang out with Puerto Ricans on the fringes of his neighborhood.

    He snuck around, changed his clothes, hiding all of this from his family. He says he dropped acid. He felt trapped. He still kept kosher and Shabbos, but he wanted out.

    Finally, at 18, Engelman was able to leave his old neighborhood, moving to Bensonhurst. He joined a heavy metal band, playing the drums (he was always interested in music; his parents bought him his first drum set). Yet he was still tethered to his old life, continuing to keep kosher and Shabbos, the sole Jewish guy in the band.

    That year, living at a safe remove from Williamsburg, he finally broke the long secret and told his parents about the abuse he suffered at Rabbi …… hands. “They were shocked,” Engelman recalled. But they believed there was little recourse available, he said.

    It turns out that a key to helping Engelman finally confront Rabbi …… was recently finding out that he may not have been the only victim. One former student of ……. came forward to Engelman’s brother, who told Joel. Eventually, through various community activists, Engelman began making presentations to school administrators and boards of directors about sexual abuse in the community — identifying himself as a victim and drawing on his own experiences.

    At one of the presentations at a Satmar school, Rabbi ……. name was mentioned. A board member offhandedly said he recalled a complaint about the rabbi from five years ago but that nothing was done.

    This second report of another victim was the spark to action Engelman needed, realizing that other kids were likely suffering what he had gone through.

    Engelman consulted with his family about confronting Rabbi ……., and they decided to write a letter, which the elder Engelman would deliver to Rabbi …….. It was just before Passover of this year.

    The letter, written in Yiddish (an English translation is part of the civil complaint), is plainspoken and laden with emotion. It begins: “We wish to let you know that since our son, Yoel Nechemia is a victim of you, you MOLESTED him as a child — you corrupted his soul, you were the cause of many years of anguish and suffering from him as a result — and because we know of other children who were victimized (molested) by you at least from 1993 until now — therefore you are a danger to children.”

    It goes on to say that the family will take no further legal action if Rabbi …… agrees to resign his position as teacher at UTA and the upstate summer camp. The letter, signed by the Engelman family, ends: “The One Above should give you the right thoughts to have mercy on your family and take correct action.”

    On the day his father delivered the letter, Engelman waited for two hours outside the rabbi’s Williamsburg home. He wanted to confront him face to face. “He was scared [expletive],” Engelman remembered. “Here I was, this heavy metal guy, dressed up in leather. He tried to get on my good side, saying ‘Oh, you lived on U Street.” I told him: ‘I will do everything and more than [what was written in] the letter if you come back to the school after Passover.”

    Engelman said the rabbi told him that this wasn’t the right place to talk about this. He remembers the exchange vividly, the rabbi never denying what had allegedly happened. “You know exactly what you did.”

    “What did I do?”

    “You put me on your lap.”

    “So what?”

    “I am here to tell you that I am on top of this and it’s up to you.”

    The next morning, Engelman recalled, a representative of UTA showed up at Engelman’s father’s workplace, saying, “We have a zero tolerance policy for abuse and we are going to take care of this. If he is found guilty, which we will investigate, he will be out the same day.”

    Throughout a week of negotiations, Engelman said, the school made repeated promises to remove Rabbi …… from his teaching duties, and he was in fact removed from UTA after Passover. When Engelman got wind, however, that in July the rabbi was teaching at the Satmar Bungalow Colony, he put up fliers at the camp warning parents that the rabbi — “someone who is a great danger to your children, a danger to their body and soul — was in their midst. He then traveled to White Lake with a videographer and filmed the rabbi teaching a class.

    Engelman’s case rests on what experts say is a risky legal strategy.

    His attorney, Elliot Pasik, argues that United Talmudical Academy and the Satmar officials who helped negotiate the supposed deal with his client, perpetrated a fraud. He claims in court papers that the “defendants’ motivation was the expiration of the criminal statue of limitations for sex crimes on the 23rd birthday of Joel Engelman on June 24, 2008.”

    “Satmar officials admitted to my client that the rabbi had committed child sexual abuse,” Pasik said. “They even administered a polygraph by a reputable company, and the rabbi failed. The same Satmar officials admitted there were other credible complaints of child sexual abuse against the rabbi.”

    Pasik continued: “[Satmar] took advantage of Joel. They promised him that [Rabbi] would not be working with children. Joel wasn’t looking for money — just keep him away from kids and he would forgo criminal prosecution. Once the school year was over, they put him in the Bungalow Colony. They broke their promise. An oral promise is enforceable.”

    But Rabbi Niederman, noting that UTA had seen fit to ultimately return the Rabbi to a job working with children, said he doubted some aspects of Engelman’s account. “If someone is addicted [to molesting children], why aren’t there more kids who have come forward in all these years?” he asked. “To say they were afraid — the kids or the parents — in this day and age doesn’t make sense. Parents are much more vigilant now about these kinds of issues.”

    He voiced confidence in UTA’s integrity in investigating the matter. “If UTA wanted to cover up things, why would they take back this melamed [teacher] if they knew there was another case out there?” he asked.

    Indeed, Engelman’s case may prove a hard one to make.

    “The reliance argument [when a case is based on relying on a promise] makes perfect common sense but hasn’t worked all the way up,” said Marci Hamilton, a professor at Cardozo Law School. “States like Pennsylvania and New York have been resistant to it. The view is that if the statute of limitations [SOL] is being misapplied it is up to the state legislature to change it.

    “This case just shows that the SOL is too short. When a 23-year-old can’t get into court, the SOL is too short. The majority [of abuse victims] come forward in their 40s. This reinforces that another state legislature that needs to act. When children are young [and within the SOL] they are often not psychologically ready to come forward. It can be very frustrating.”

    The Satmar yeshiva boy turned drummer and graphic artist is sitting in a diner on East 57th Street, drinking a cup of coffee and reflecting on his long ordeal. In one sense, Joel Engelman’s break with his native community is complete. And yet, he cannot walk away. “I often wonder why I am putting myself through this,” he muses, acknowledging how difficult it has been to dredge up old memories and confront his abuser.

    “I don’t live that life anymore and it would be easy just to forget about all of it and move on. But then I think about how another kid might be suffering what I went through, and I realize I can’t.”

    And so the lawsuit has brought all of the bad feelings back in a rush. He says he is coping, though. And he hopes coming forward with his story will result in changes in the way the Orthodox community deals with the kind of sexual abuse he says he faced. Mostly, he wants to prevent what happened to him from happening to another child.

    “He’s still out there,” Engelman said of Rabbi ……. [Without legal action], what is going to stop [UTA] from taking him back, from another school taking him?”

    Breaking the general silence in the ultra-Orthodox community on the issue of sexual abuse is seen by experts as a key step.

    “Our community has to address some of the hypocrisy of strictly not tolerating even minor adult sexual activities that are outside the realm of halacha, while remaining silent when otherwise frum people are sexually abusing children,” said Dr. Asher Lipner, a psychologist who treats victims of sexual abuse within the frum community. “Psychologically, it is devastatingly painful for its victims to come to terms with, and there is the need for society to teach out to its victims and to comfort them.”

    “In order to change [this situation],” Lipner continued, “concerned parents need to lobby their yeshivas to develop safety protocols, to teach the children about safety and to agree to oversight by some kind of outside watchdog. Otherwise, I’m afraid that this will not be the last that we hear of school cover-ups for child molesters.”

    Throughout her son’s torturous ordeal, Pearl Engelman told the Jewish Week the family was solidly behind him. “We cooperated with [Joel] on this,” she said. “His main objective was to get this man away from children. … We tried to do this in a way that would be the least humiliating and shameful to [Rabbi] large, extended family, who are really innocent.

    “Our community, the Satmar community, and the whole chasidishe community, owes Joel a debt of gratitude. He’s very young to do this; most victims are much, much older when they confront these issues. He is putting himself on the line to protect other children from this type of trauma.”

    According to Engelman, Rabbi ……. reads from the Torah in the shul, which is considered to be a great honor. “People don’t believe he could possibly be an abuser,” Engelman said. “If that guy did that, then the world is over.”

    Engelman says Satmars are reluctant to try to change things within their community, for fear that change will undermine the whole communal structure. “No one voluntarily says, ‘We want a better system. Any change will bring down the whole system,” Engelman said.

    But he hopes that by standing up and telling his story publicly, change may eventually happen.

    “Without shaming and lawsuits [nothing is going to change],” Engelman said. “That’s what happened in the Catholic Church, in the Boy Scouts.”


    Listen to the VINnews podcast on:

    iTunes | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | Podbean | Amazon

    Follow VINnews for Breaking News Updates


    Connect with VINnews

    Join our WhatsApp group


    175 Comments
    Most Voted
    Newest Oldest
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    enough is enough
    enough is enough
    15 years ago

    lets bring a end to the child molestation in our community where are all the so called Rabomim are they only here for the erive and concerts

    lopp
    lopp
    15 years ago

    should i keep my kids home from yeshiva

    a
    a
    15 years ago

    My heart bleeds for him. BUT is this the torah way? I am crying for the Chillul Hashem.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    do you really beleive this sheigetz????

    shocked and horrified
    shocked and horrified
    15 years ago

    Take em down joel, i pray for u to take all these sickos down. keeps these pedophiles away from our children and lock em up with those big shvartzes so they get a taste of the horror they caused

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    I am also crying for the Chillul Hashem. This is certainly not the Torah way. Who ever heard of rabbis molesting their students? How has this become acceptable in our frum society? What kind of sham investigation could the rabbis have done? Are they professional detectives? How many more of these cases do we have to hear about?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    a, i am all with you, it was terrible what they did, if it is true, but is this the way? And besides that, He is not looking to solve this issue, he just want a fight, what’s the point?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    sick

    future101
    future101
    15 years ago

    The lousiest excuse to go away from yiddishkite. You insult your parents and syblings for eternity.

    face it your an outright bum, instead of turning in your misrable life and come back your busy justifying it. The nazi deed far worse to your grandparents, but they never left yiddishkite. Do teshuva that is your only salvation..time is not on your side.

    lopp
    lopp
    15 years ago

    why not it could go either way

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    i dont hink he was a shaygitz, his name is joel….probably another yoily

    1984jew
    1984jew
    15 years ago

    HEAVY METAL!!!! HELL YEH!!!!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    09-03-2008 – 5:26 PM just because you label him shaigetz does that make him a lier??

    See the Truth
    See the Truth
    15 years ago

    First of all, a message to Joel, I am so sorry that you went through this, no one should ever know what it means to have to live with the nightmare. May G-D protect you and those you love, and may you be able to live a very full and productive life.

    To the rest of you, this is a sad example of what I have said on the site before, why didn’t Joel feel comftoble going through with this when he was younger? Why did he feel that there were brick walls between him and those he reached out to? Why did he feel that the only way he could get his story out, and make the stride towards closure, can only take place once he leave the ghetto?? WHY? WHY? WHY?

    The time has come for everyone to come forward, and quickly, and say their story, we need to show the animals of this world, and those that protect them, that their time has come.

    As of now the only public advocate, that is taking a front line approach is Dov Hikind, and this is great, but we need more. In the meantime, I have been assured by his staff that he is keeping all calls strictly confidential, so please feel free to call him at his district office (718) 853-9616.

    And no for all the TZADIKIM who are upset that VIN is publicizing this – TOUGH ! ! ! ! ! ! !

    This is the only way, let people know, you do this, we will find you, and expose you, if that means certain other people are casualties of war, that’s life, we can no longer afford to keep this, and many other issues, locked away.

    Be strong, and be supportive! We need victims to feel that their time has come to seek closure.

    Please remember, if this was a Lipa concert there would be a page full of signatures assuring it, why is there no kol koreh from those same rabbanim now??????

    Sadtheist
    Sadtheist
    15 years ago

    future101 you hippocrite!

    You have no idea what it’s like to be molested as a child… it destroys who you are.

    you are a horrible horrible human being with no synmpathy and no place in klal yisroel.

    i only hope that you and yor children should be molested

    anonymous
    anonymous
    15 years ago

    I am the gabbai in a shul, and get to talking with a lot of “fringe” guys. It seems that all of them – without exception – feel guilty about being oop-gefooren, and need someone to blame. One blames his parents, others blame the yeshiva, but no one blames himself. I know this family extremely well, and I feel the same is happening here. Sad.

    See the Truth
    See the Truth
    15 years ago

    Future 101

    I agree with sadtheist on the first part, but I NEVER want you to know the pain and sorrow of what this is like.

    The sad thing is, that you, like many others, are living in this dream world, and instead of seeing the issues, are looking to deflect them. Please take the time and research this, and you will see, like so many educated others, the effect that sexual abuse has on children.

    One thing we all need to remember, sexual abuse is only one form of abuse that our children have suffered and continue to, sadly, there is also emotional abuse, physical abuse etc.

    But we are up to a good start, and have a lot more of work ahead of us.

    McCain-Palin 08
    McCain-Palin 08
    15 years ago

    Come on people, I want to see action its a shame lets go against any yeshiva that from now on that doesn’t suspend a rabbi right away…….

    I believe in innocent until proven guilty but I also believe that it can ruin someones life by keeping him or her on board.

    have them removed with pay until trial ends.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    As you can see the only thing the Rabomim do is making an ESAR on Lipa and MR Rosenberg, when there are so many broken kids.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    (do you really beleive this sheigetz????)

    This was always the way of the Chasidim….that’s why they look this way, every one who disagree with them is labeled all kinds of names

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    ………….: Today, Joel Engelman… His life in Greenpoint — he no longer keeps kosher or the Sabbath — is about as far removed from the cloistered life of Satmar Williamsburg as is possible…..

    He is a bum and drop out, he is angry at a teacher being to strict to him so he tries to find his revenge with the help of sicko Nuchem Rosenberg..

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    I don’t buy one word from this lousy kid, I remember

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    It’s a shame that the only way to raise awareness and maintain the needed vigilance to protect children is the publicity it is getting in the media. The morals that are required of every Yid should be enough to keep people within the guidelines, but apparently morality is not as popular as it should be.

    Every allegation of abuse needs to be investigated. The yeshiva or school that suspends or terminates a staff member for victimizing a student should be commended for this, not shamed. If every yeshiva would police itself, this entire discussion would not be happening.

    McCain-Palin 08
    McCain-Palin 08
    15 years ago

    Thank you (See the Truth)

    I admire all of you who are supporting us in this fight against evil from with in.

    too all the people like (future101) and the rest who are more worried about a chillul hashem its poeple like you who make it hard for these kids to come forward and get closure.

    people like you who are making the chillul hashem the last thing g-d wants is for his children to suffer at the hands of the wicked.

    worry about the fact that this is still going on and kids are suffering.

    I have worked with kids at risk which by the way is happening more and more lo aleinu in the hemishe communitty because of people like you who have no common sense.

    How about the chillul hashem that this kid or any other isnt frum because unfortanetly of the suffering youve never been in their shoes or maybe you should. sick sick sick

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    We are lucky this kid is not in the community, if yes they would have made his life miserable, that’s why no one else is coming forward this is the way they work, look what they did to N Rosenberg.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    I agree, but i think this times are over.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    how dare anyone call this boy a shaigetz?!! he went through hell on this earth- how dare u judge him and call him a liar and maybe it is a chllul hashem but hes not the one who caused it he wanted to avoid a trial and only resorted to take legal action once other little boys were kept in harm’s way. seriously, people.

    CHAIM baar
    CHAIM baar
    15 years ago

    i just want to say my take on this: i believe him,even tough he is a shaigetz, its possible he is blamming his current situation on this, but the truth is, i myself have been molested severel times by rabbis trough out the years, and SUCH THINKS HAPPEN, and you can not trust anyone, i never told anyone besides my wife, and b”h it did not effect my yiddishkeit,(i hope so) altough i remember clearly as a child crying sometimes why i was punished to be trapped in such situations.

    and i want to give a message for all parents, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU LET YOUR KID GO TO THE MIKVA FRIDAY?? CHINUCH??? YOU KNOW WHAT RISK YOU ARE TAKING??? EVEN WITH SUPERISION!! AND DEFINITLY WITHOUT. ITS IRRISPONSIBLE, I HAVE BEEN MOLESTED COUNTLESS TIMES IN MIKVA AS A CHILD, I REALLY THINK MIKVAH SHOULD BE BANNED UNDER 13, ITS WAY WAY ”YOTZO SCHORIO B’HEFSEIDIO”

    i happen to know rabbi reichman, and i find it hard to believe that on such a pure and nice person they should say such thinks, but then i think of some of the people that molested me, and i would not believe it on them too.

    so i think its time people should stop judging both, not the shaigetz and not the tzadik.

    its very sad, that it came to this point, but now i think the legal system will define the truth, not this blog or the comments

    Oy, vey!
    Oy, vey!
    15 years ago

    What a horrible and tragic story.

    I hope he can find closure and come back to his roots.

    Indeed, this is a terrible Chilul Hashem. However, what want can we say to someone who was betrayed in a fundamental life-altering way by the very symbols of Yiddishkeit?

    I am sure the Jewish Week is thrilled, though…that is what they live on.

    Nu, let us make sure that WE as a community, do not give them any more opportunities for these type of stories, by never again neglecting the cry of a violated child.

    MARK
    MARK
    15 years ago

    let the truth come out AM ECHAD

    McCain-Palin 08
    McCain-Palin 08
    15 years ago

    oy vey together we can unify in one voice say no to the yeshivos that are hosting these rabeim

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    bum or not ?

    you cant abuse him sexualy

    LOCK THE REBBE UP

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    Our natural reflex is to dismiss this kid as a wayward malcontent who is just trying to sound off and/or extort money.

    But what if? What if? What if he’s telling the truth?

    Let the case go to court, and let the truth come out, one way or the other!

    Query: Given that most child molesters rarely have only one victim, if indeed this boy is telling the truth, then:

    A. What are the chances that others will come forward?

    B. What are the chances that the Satmars have already paid hush money to others who were willing (read compelled) to settle for less?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    There is truth in what he alleges. ANyone growing up in Chassideshe Yeshivos knows someone who has been abused. Not important if he keeps Kosher os Shabbos and his accused is “tzaddik Olam”. They hide behind thier religion just as the priests hide behind thsiers. How much longer?? The Rabbis and administrators have to throw these pedophiles out immediately upon being accused by two or more. Even better, never allow any Rebbe to be alone with a child just as DOctors always have a nurse in the room. Lifnei Ever Lo Sitam Michshal. 99% of Rebbeiem are great and honest, why blindly support the 1% that are not?? ENough already. Pedophiles are sick and diseased. Vehavarta Harah Mekerbechah!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    lopp Says:

    should i keep my kids home from yeshiva

    YES if you cant protect them (from sexual abuse by the Rebbe)

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    you all defended kolko

    but he pled guilty

    McCain-Palin 08
    McCain-Palin 08
    15 years ago

    a shande n charpe

    DR NO
    DR NO
    15 years ago

    There is a big difference between Nuchem Rosenberg shouting that “all melamdim are pervs’ and one person calling out one person, looking him in the eye and saying “You touched me”. I assume its true.

    But what bothers me most is, why do we assume it cant happen by us?

    If a kid comes home crying that the janitor threatend him with a blade wouldnt this janitor be out of a job and arrested in a second?

    Why cant you take this damn teacher and move him to the payroll office quietly instead of proving a point?? Its so easy. And YES it is the right thing for our kids to err on the side of caution!

    Why do we have to wait till the NY Times publishes a headline “Hasidim dont care about molesters” ??

    busy
    busy
    15 years ago

    How many s. abuse victims remain frum when they finally get old enough to escape? Who could blame them for association frumkeit with abuse? Who could blame them for blowing the cover of the former abuser? His life as a yid was ruined at age 8. I am sure that he remains angry and bitter and would have liked to remain frum but saw the frum community as a clan of hippocrits who looked away at abuse and protected the sick abusers secrets. They expected him to remain hush-hush and just to put up with it because it was just part of being frum. He was too angry and hurt to simply move to another frum community. He wanted no part of the facade.

    It is obvious from some of the comments that the facade exists and is real. The abused must avoid chillul Hashem and just put up with it and stay quiet. For the sake of keeping it out of the papers, abusers should simply be tolerated. The victims should just keep their mouths shut, get married, have a dysfunctional marriage, have a nervous breakdown but most importantly they should avoid letting the public know. That is the most important thing. Now wonder so many youths leave yiddishkeit.

    M.W.
    M.W.
    15 years ago

    so everyones wondering why more ppl dont come forward, this is the reason, because the victim gets victimized again, i dont hear any sympathy for yoly or joel whatever he calls himself, for what he went through, i hear only negative things about him, my husband was molested by a rabbi himself, there is no way he can come out and tell his story let alone prosicute, just because of the narrow minded judgemental ppl.

    Whatever life he chooses thats his life, but lets not get carried away what the case is all about…

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    These poor boys, my heart goes out to them.

    If this behavior has been going on for over 15, 20, 30, 40 or so years, what does this say about the institution??

    How long has it really been going on?

    Did this happen back in Europe?

    Is it ingrained in the (excuse the expression) cloistered lifestyle?

    These questions and others need to be researched for the answers.

    EINYID
    EINYID
    15 years ago

    LISTEN TO THE DOV HIKIND SHOW THIS COMING MOTZEH SHABBOS. 9/6/08 AT 11:00PM

    Moshe bar
    Moshe bar
    15 years ago

    are we 100% sure? my heart goes out for this kid, and at the same time on the same level for this Rabbi R. who might be innocent, even 1% chance he is not guilty. why is anyone so one side minded, we dont know FOR SURE.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    This Rabbi should face serious jail time, and Satmar should pay the price, but of course we know that they will simply sweep it under the rug. Look at last week’s Der Yid, claiming victory over Nachum Rosenberg. The man is a hero as far as the truth is concerned. And these Rabbonim just won’t face up to the fact that kids’ lives are being ruined in their yeshiva systems. So, so, sad.

    See The Truth
    See The Truth
    15 years ago

    The studies do indicate that children don’t make this stuff up. As fas as people coming out when they get older, and we are berating them for it, shame on us.

    Even if there is 1 % chance that these stories are true, we need to take action.

    There are very few times that people make these things up, because the embarrasment is such, that most normal people would never go to this extreme.

    BUT – there have been cases, that I myself know of, where people did make these types of stories up, and that kills it for teh real victims.

    But in this case, all signs point of truth, and there are others that are scared to come out, for they fear community backlash.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    Nikkorim divrei emes,only a fool would say

    nothing

    happened.

    The Rabbi has to settle with Joel,and his family.

    Rabbi Niederman should not play dum,he knows

    better.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    I believe this “sheigetz”, and he probably left the fold, because of the molestation.Nebach, may he IY”H find that Frumkeit isn’t so bad after all and do teshuva.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    Rabbi Niederman,don’t be a schwantz,tell the Rabbi he has to go.

    JBC
    JBC
    15 years ago

    People should be judged innocent until proven guilty. When an allegation is made the Rebbe should be put on paid administrative assignment while a Police investigation, yes police since we all know what kind of internal investigations get done. If the Rebbe is guilty, lock him up. If the allegation turns out to be false, the person can be charged with filing a false police report. That is a crime. But in no uncertain terms should these things be swept under the rug. Parents need to tell their children what is appropriate and what is not. There are also chlidrens books out there that can help children learn what is and what is not appropriate.

    yiddish
    yiddish
    15 years ago

    to me all this stupid comments has no base, how can you judge or belive someone bum or not a story that was not verified,but only by one side what happend to the common law that teach us to jugde only in front of two. the same go’s to every sobjact,think before you type and judge.

    learn a little bit of CHAFETZ CHAIM.