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Rekhasim, Israel - Chareidi Man Takes His Own Life After Daughter Isn’t Accepted By School

Published on: August 31, 2015 01:09 PM
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PHOTO ILUSTRATION - Children attend orientation to first grade at Paula Ben Gurion elementary school in Jerusalem on August 30, 2015. Photo by Hadas Parush/Flash 90.PHOTO ILUSTRATION - Children attend orientation to first grade at Paula Ben Gurion elementary school in Jerusalem on August 30, 2015. Photo by Hadas Parush/Flash 90.

Rekhasim, Israel - Hours after the apparent suicide of a Sefardi man in Israel, an area rabbi is pointing the finger of blame at the administrators of a local Chareidi school, saying that it was their refusal to accept the deceased’s daughter into their institution that drove him to take his own life. 

According to Israeli news site Kikar HaShabat, the niftar, who lived in the Rechasim settlement in Northern Israel, had just been advised yesterday morning that his daughter was not accepted into first grade.  Rechasim has over 1,800 families and received a low ranking on the socio-economic scale by the Israel Central Bureau of Statistics.  Several individuals, including prominent community members and rabbis in the settlement, have accused the school of playing a part in the man’s death.

“Those who support this city cannot say that they bear no responsibility for the blood that was spilled here,” Rabbi Yosef Gigi, a rosh kollel in Rechasim, said during this morning’s emotionally charged funeral, targeting his remarks squarely at the school’s administration. 

Grieving residents echoed the same sentiment, telling one member of the school’s administration that he played a role in yesterday’s tragedy by not doing his part to accommodate the family’s difficult financial situation.

“This is a very sad story,” said Nati Chayak, a Shas representative of the Rechasim community council.  “For two months they tried to make arrangements for the daughter.  He tried to use all of his connections to get her into the school and unfortunately, he did not succeed.”

The name of the deceased was not released but Chayak, who said he often worked with the father, described the story as “very painful.”

“He would take care of transportation in the yeshiva that I worked in and he worked for me steadily,”  said Chayak. “This time he didn’t share his situation with me, unfortunately.”
According to Chayak, the father had been doing all that he could to get his daughter into school.

“He came with me to the administration and said to me, ‘Do you see Nati? Do you see the price?  Do you see the situation?  Where can we go with this?’”

A family member said that the father, a typically strong individual who preferred not to ask for favors from others, had been extremely distraught about the situation over Shabbos. 

“Suddenly he found himself in a situation and he had no way to find a solution,” said Chayak. 

Chayak said that it was clear that the school administrators did not appreciate the depths of the frustration felt by this father who was unable to pay his children’s tuition. 

“An animal who finds itself in a desperate situation and is unable to protect his young and feels helpless will run away,” observed Chayak. “This was an escape of another kind when he found himself unable to cope with his difficult situation.”

As someone who has spoken with many families in difficult financial straits over the past two weeks, Chayak said that the desperation is unimaginable.

“The pain is so great and the ache is enormous,” said Chayak.  “How can you even face a father who cries to you on the phone about his daughter’s plight?  There are no words to console a father in that state and we don’t have the ability to ease that kind of heartache.  There is nothing you can say to comfort a father who knows that his daughter will not be able to go to school.”

In its statement, the Rechasim council expressed both its sympathies and its innocence in the matter.

“We are overwhelmed and grieving from this terrible tragedy and we share in the grief of this family, one of the oldest and most important in our settlement.  After hearing of this disaster, Rabbi Yitzchak Reich, head of the council, has agreed to provide the family with all of the required assistance.    As for the charges that the school’s refusal to admit the daughter, she has been enrolled in the Chinuch Atzmai Ohr Chadash school in the settlement and her placement for the upcoming school year is guaranteed.  The council plays no part in the acceptance policies of private schools in Rechasim and the Ministry of Education will only intervene if a child has no school placement at all.”


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Read Comments (75)  —  Post Yours »

1

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:30 PM ChareidiMan Says:

Hey as long as he had a filter on his iPhone, who cares about anything else SHAME SHAME SHAME on our leaders, their priorities are $$perfectly$$ placed

3

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:33 PM ShmutzVesh Says:

Oy vay !! I can totally understand this man
It is so difficult to be on this situation I am crying. More needs to be done regarding scholarships .

4

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:42 PM CF700 Says:

And if the father doesn't take his life? Is the shefiches dumim ok if the family members are alive and suffering???? God help us from ourselves.

5

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:45 PM albroker Says:

so true, its always about the money.

6

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:49 PM Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

7

 Aug 31, 2015 at 01:52 PM Anonymous Says:

This article should have been placed @ the door of the principals, & menahalim here in NY who commit the same crime .I would love to mention them , but refrain from doing so , because .... its Loshon HaRah .

8

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:02 PM Anonymous Says:

This is a terrible situation, not being able to pay for tuition.But i do have to say that today, people spend so much on extras, there lifestyles are on the highest end,then they blame the schools for not excepting their children. because they do not pay tuition. I have seen hundreds of cases where people spend like crazy expensive bungalows, expensive clothing.unlimited.When they come to pay for tuition they say. What can we do we don't have money.You are so mean by not considering this.

9

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:02 PM Anonymous Says:

Most Brooklyn yeshivos are not doing well financially. It's not like there are so many people paying full tuition. The costs are not being offset. I think the bigger problem to be dealt with, at least short term, is the number of families that can, but don't pay tuition. Using the system to your advantage is acceptable (but unethical) in business. When it comes to rebbeim's salaries however, a little yashrus is in order.

10

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:07 PM Anonymous Says:

AMEN!!!!!!

11

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:07 PM Anonymous Says:

Better the daughter should have gone to a public school then the father kill himself!

12

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:09 PM yossi10952 Says:

There was obviously something wrong with him, I wouldn't want my kid to be in the same class with a kid from such a family. I still don't give them the right to play around with our kids like they do.

13

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:14 PM Ami Nachmu Says:

I am sure one of the missionary Y'S schools in EY would have taken her with open arms for free. A yid begging for chinuch for his child refused.

14

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:36 PM ModernLakewoodGuy Says:

My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

15

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:38 PM zelig Says:

The girl was placed in a school that her father objected to. He tried to get her into the better school. That's what some websites wrote. Not so sure it was a money issue.

16

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:41 PM FranZ Says:

what a pity. people can become so desperate. the situation will only get worse bc wealthy people who used to contribute to these schools have either stopped or lessened their donations due to the poor economy.

17

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:43 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

that's y you never got married?

18

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:48 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

I don't know the specifics of this case so my comment will be on the general school situation. Sure the rebbis and teachers need to be paid but using the word "business" for a yeshiva is very problematic. If you want to be in "business" go into a business that doesn't deal with people's lives when you decide to go into chinuch you have a different responsibility. Unfortunately the yeshivos of now are treated as a business and couldn't care less about the well being of the kids they are supposed to be mechanech. My father Z'L was a melamed yes a melamed not a "rebbi" back in Europe before the war he made sure the boys and their parents and siblings have enough food in their house if they couldn't afford sechar limud. where his own home with 8 children had their own needs. If you go into chinuch you are not selling widgets you deal with yiddisher neshomos....

19

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:55 PM binumin Says:

Reply to #12  
yossi10952 Says:

There was obviously something wrong with him, I wouldn't want my kid to be in the same class with a kid from such a family. I still don't give them the right to play around with our kids like they do.

this is where the Retziche starts. Why wouldn't you want YOUR kid to be in the same class. Because parents like YOU yeshivas refuse those type of kids and if a parent nebech had to commit suicide because their child wasn't accepted YOU have BLOOD on your hands and all involved can NOT say Yudyni LOY shofchi hadam hazeh. Yossi10952 trust me that parents like you who refuse to have their kids mixed with different ethnic kids will not grow up one percent better.
Hashem yisburech watches our doings and he is NOT proud of how we behave with those kids.

20

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:56 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #11  
Anonymous Says:

Better the daughter should have gone to a public school then the father kill himself!

Agreed.....there are many quality public schools available and her schooling could have been supplemented by having a kollel yungerleit come to the house a few days a week to provide some limudei torah until the parents could find a suitable school for her.

21

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:56 PM Bezalel Says:

Reply to #11  
Anonymous Says:

Better the daughter should have gone to a public school then the father kill himself!

I agree with you, but we are apparently in the minority here.

22

 Aug 31, 2015 at 02:57 PM Anonymous Says:

So sad it had to turn out this way. But now his kids don't have a father. Oh vey. In school she will be excepted now but her father she can't bring back.

23

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:03 PM fat36 Says:

What a sad sad and painful day

24

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:07 PM sissel613 Says:

For shame!!!! My heartfelt condolences to the entire family. Each and every person in Rechasim and elsewhere with these problems need to make a din vicheshbon and each and everyone involved needs to ask mechillah from the family. This is Yiddishkeit? No--this is krumkeit. Why are Sephardi people less valuable than Ashkenazim? Look back at so many gedolim --Rambam, Ibn Ezra, all the Gedolim from Bavel? Would you deny their children attendance because they are Sephardim? All the gedolim should put sanctions on all those "tzaddikim" who wouldn't allow the kids to go to a school. They are all Yiddishe kinder--each one a Yiddishe neshama--more important the anything in the world. Can you even envision the emotinal damage that has been wrought and these kids? And now this one will start her first grade in aveil, thanks to all those "tzaddim."

May he be a meilitz yosher for his family and maybe from on high he can put an end to this utter nonsense both in Israel and here as well. Unfortunately it happens here too.

25

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:23 PM Yerachmiel Says:

People are talking about Yeshiva's economic realities. If so, why are all the children of kollel families virtually guaranteed admission and free tuition or very low tuition. If this is the outcome, maybe the frum world should admit it cannot afford so many kollel families.

26

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:31 PM VoiceOfSanity Says:

Reply to #11  
Anonymous Says:

Better the daughter should have gone to a public school then the father kill himself!

Agreed. Rachman Litzlan. Someone should have TRIED

27

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:39 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

Wrong a yeshva and bais yakov is not a business. Its a mosad. It should not be bound by numbers.

28

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:36 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

SPARE ME - If the only thing all Yeshivos have to cover were "rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students." NO ONE would be rejected. Thr problem is the $30 million building that has to be covered,the stock paper color ads and the $2 million dinners have to be covered. Let's be realistic. Theres more than enough money coming in to cover the basics.

29

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:31 PM Chaimyankel Says:

Reply to #24  
sissel613 Says:

For shame!!!! My heartfelt condolences to the entire family. Each and every person in Rechasim and elsewhere with these problems need to make a din vicheshbon and each and everyone involved needs to ask mechillah from the family. This is Yiddishkeit? No--this is krumkeit. Why are Sephardi people less valuable than Ashkenazim? Look back at so many gedolim --Rambam, Ibn Ezra, all the Gedolim from Bavel? Would you deny their children attendance because they are Sephardim? All the gedolim should put sanctions on all those "tzaddikim" who wouldn't allow the kids to go to a school. They are all Yiddishe kinder--each one a Yiddishe neshama--more important the anything in the world. Can you even envision the emotinal damage that has been wrought and these kids? And now this one will start her first grade in aveil, thanks to all those "tzaddim."

May he be a meilitz yosher for his family and maybe from on high he can put an end to this utter nonsense both in Israel and here as well. Unfortunately it happens here too.

I would like to see when a few of those kids will be placed in your childs class what your action would be.? maybe you would be acceptable to them but unfortunate most Ashkenazim don't mix with sephardim

30

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:54 PM berylyoseph Says:

It's about time that Ashkenazim and Sephardim "get" officially divorced. The situation is not going to change no matter what. It is 2 seperate nations who pretend to be one.

31

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:07 PM $$$ Says:

It's not lack of money to pay tuition that keeps children out of schools - it's lack of enough extra money to bribe your way into schools. Yeshivos reject good, ehrliche boys at random without giving a second thought to what will become of these yiddishe neshamos.

32

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:08 PM fleur Says:

Here in Israel has nothing to do about money. It's because they are sefardim. What do you think its going on with the yeshives and seminaries.its all the same situation. I don't want to be at the place of all these Rosh yeshivot and menahalim. What there olam haba looks like if they refused a boy or girl because there name is chetrit and not Friedman!! We speak about good girls frum erliche boys. It's time that the rabonim in this country are taking care about this situation once and forever!!

33

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:11 PM Nycnyc Says:

The problem with yeshivas is because we are fools. If every frum Jew would register to vote and get rid

34

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:13 PM Nycnyc Says:

We need to register a hundred thousand frum students into public schools and you will see how fast the government will dish out money to our struggling yeshivas.

35

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:18 PM Anonymous Says:

Rav Shteinman shlita said its assur for ANY school to reject a family. Period. It's a din of ritzicha for the kid. Unfortunately in this case we see clearly ritzicha.

36

 Aug 31, 2015 at 03:47 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
Anonymous Says:

Most Brooklyn yeshivos are not doing well financially. It's not like there are so many people paying full tuition. The costs are not being offset. I think the bigger problem to be dealt with, at least short term, is the number of families that can, but don't pay tuition. Using the system to your advantage is acceptable (but unethical) in business. When it comes to rebbeim's salaries however, a little yashrus is in order.

Rabbiem are getting apid the best salary out there. When there was a recession and everyone lost thier jobs not only did they not loose thier jobs they refuse taking a paycut.

Rabbiem work from 9-3, get off two months in the summer plus the whole sukkos and peasch. Ok so they work sunday but only 3 hours on friday. And most of us work sundays too already.

Rabbiem also get free tuiton for boys and girls. Yes the yeshivas have accounts with bais yakov's and pay them directly to avoid taxes.

Years ago rabbeim were never ever paid on time and they made peanuts compared to todays rabbiem. Speak to nayone who grew up in the 60's and 70's. Todays rabbiem are the best off ever. Stop kvetching for rabbiem.

One more thing every school needs a nicer state of the art building than thier competitor. Yrs ago there was mold and leaks on the walls. Yes it costs lots of money to build & maintain those highend buildings.

37

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:20 PM Anonymous Says:

i hope the schools who have kicked out and rejected kids who can't get vaccines for medical reasons and psakim they have from a rav realize the pain and tourture they put a family through by rejecting a child. It is a terrible tragedy that nobody should every have to suffer through. Gadolim have said it is assur to reject b/c of a safek safek safek safek safeka...

38

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:41 PM Israeli Menahalet Says:

This is the worst thing I have ever heard in the "chinuch business." As shocking & tragic as it is, it was only a matter of time.

Firstly: a yeshiva/school is NOT a business, it is a place to bring out the yiddishkeit (and if it's the case) the Chassidishkeit of every student. Schools should be child-centered, not school centered. The wellbeing of our children should be the primary concern, not yichus or money or connections. Unfortunately, here in Israel we also have to contend with racism - Sephardi vs Ashkenazi & never the twain shall meet, G-d forbid, in case my kid is corrupted by yours. It is appalling that this state of affairs is allowed to continue.

I just opened a new high school for girls who are not OTD but who don't fit the standard box. We accept students from various backgrounds & countries; we look for spunk & creativity. Any teacher who abuses a student will be fired on the spot. THIS is what chinuch is about: guiding, teaching & bringing out the best in every girl & caring for & understanding her needs. Children learn "al pi darko" & they also learn in a warm, nurturing school. For most schools, hindsight is 20/20. We had that vision before we opened.

39

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:41 PM hashomer Says:

Wow, a terrible story all around. How does killing yourself help your daughter? How does charging exorbitant fees for substandard education help the families? How does an application that requires pulling strings with the machers help our young people? How does racism against our Sephardim help Yiddishkeit?

40

 Aug 31, 2015 at 04:56 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

Based on your comment it is clear, you work at a yeshiva or a girl school.YOU DO NOT GET IT.The rule in some yeshivas is if a father is in Kollel ,tuition is FREE.Some of those Kollel guys get lots of money from parents and /or in laws to go to hotels for Peasch ,new mini vans,best clothing for family,best apartments some time even a house.If the Yeshivas will demand some tuition from kollel people .since they can afford every thing else ,that will solve the PROBLEM.Those Kollel guys that truly living simple live should NOT pay any tuition.

41

 Aug 31, 2015 at 05:06 PM Yonason_Herschlag Says:

There is terrible slander and evil accusations against the institution. Compare to gentile private institutions such as colleges; many top colleges accept less than 10% of the applicants. And yes, the college will accept students of lower caliber if they will be paying full tuition, and they will offer generous scholarships for star students. Both money and quality students enable them to build the best institution they can.

That school is not the only school in town, and is not obligated to accept every applicant. What is the point of accusing them?

Obviously the deceased had more troubles in life than just the fact that his daughter wasn't enrolled in the school of her/his choice. Millions of people are rejected each year from their first choice of school, but they don't all commit suicide over that.

Two of my boys weren't accepted into the yeshivas of their choice this year. That's part of divine providence, that we have to accept with emuna in Hashem - gam-ze-letovah, and we move on.

It's hard to imagine a man emotionally well, with wonderful shalom bayis, healthy children, and a steady job, taking his life over such an issue. Blaming the school is loshan hora.

42

 Aug 31, 2015 at 05:18 PM clear-thinker Says:

Reply to #34  
Nycnyc Says:

We need to register a hundred thousand frum students into public schools and you will see how fast the government will dish out money to our struggling yeshivas.

Big talk. All we should do... I would be really interested in seeing 100,000 frum children register. You know what Mr. NYC, they would then have to go to school, they would have to learn secular subjects. No the government will not just give money to the struggling yeshivas; they would cope with the children. I wonder how you would cope with your children sitting with people who are different than you. I really would love to see how you would cope with science courses taught in secular schools. Well, at least the biggest concern of the frum community would cease to be smart phones.

43

 Aug 31, 2015 at 05:22 PM BoruchN Says:

Wow! Terrible pressure on the man/family. Sorry 'oxymoron' no 'Chareidi man' would ever commit suicide. If he does he's not 'chareidi.' There's always hope. HaShem can do anything He wishes, whenever He wishes
. Crazy story.

44

 Aug 31, 2015 at 05:40 PM berylyoseph Says:

The yeshivot should make a seperation in their libraries as well. Have the seforim of ashkenazic sages such as the Maharsho , Remo , schach, Taz, Bach, Mogen Avrohom etc. On the right side. Whereas the Rambam, Ramban, Rashbo, Ritvo, Ran, Nimookay Yosef etc. on the left. Even though those Sephardic scholars lived earlier , I put them below in accodance with the prevalent halocho today.

45

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:01 PM clear-thinker Says:

Reply to #39  
hashomer Says:

Wow, a terrible story all around. How does killing yourself help your daughter? How does charging exorbitant fees for substandard education help the families? How does an application that requires pulling strings with the machers help our young people? How does racism against our Sephardim help Yiddishkeit?

I agree with everything you say. However, if someone kills himself, especially a frum person, he is not thinking clearly. A person thinking clearly would think about what the action might mean for his daughter. As to number 43, you ignore that this was the last second of the man's life. If you asked him the day before he might well have agreed with you, but here he was so overcome that he was not able to clearly think of Hashem and implications of actions.

46

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:11 PM sissel613 Says:

Reply to #29  
Chaimyankel Says:

I would like to see when a few of those kids will be placed in your childs class what your action would be.? maybe you would be acceptable to them but unfortunate most Ashkenazim don't mix with sephardim

I wouldn't care at all--In fact we have a Sephardic daughter in law whom I wouldn't change for the world. It never once for even a second bothered us that she is Sephardic. My family is made up of all people--chassidish, Lubavitch, Carlebachers, Sephardic and I jokingly tell my last son to marry a Litvish girl so we will have covered all the bases. I love each and every one of them and wouldn't want to change a thing!!!! So if Sephardic kids would have been--and have been-- in any of the kids' classes--who cares-(except obviously you do). I guess I was brought up differently. My parents are Holocaust survivors and may mother --biz 120 in good health-- tells me all the time that after the war, people didn't care where people came from--they just wanted to go on with their lives and rebuild. Why can't it be like that now? I repeat--every child is a gift from Shomayim--a heiliger neshama--no matter his/her ancestry. This isn't Yiddishkeit--it's krumkeit

47

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:20 PM lost my family member Says:

Reply to #43  
BoruchN Says:

Wow! Terrible pressure on the man/family. Sorry 'oxymoron' no 'Chareidi man' would ever commit suicide. If he does he's not 'chareidi.' There's always hope. HaShem can do anything He wishes, whenever He wishes
. Crazy story.

You are an ignoramus--I loved a sibling to suicide and he was as chareidi as they come. You don't know anything about why people do this--it has nothing to do with how frim you are--there are more suicides in the frim/chareidi community than you know. I know because I went to grieving groups for those who lost siblings and I was astonished at how many frim people there--Why don't you know? Because, like everything else--you sweep it under the carpet instead of dealing with it--like sexual abuse--like spousal abuse--like drug abuse--Down syndrome children--zug gornish--is vel shaten tzim shidduch. so Boruch--before you condemn a chareidi person for committed suicide--learn up on it. You evidently have a computer, so look up causes for suicide--you might learn something.

48

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:37 PM Jinx Says:

Reply to #14  
ModernLakewoodGuy Says:

My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

And will probably marry a goy, B'H

49

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:45 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #44  
berylyoseph Says:

The yeshivot should make a seperation in their libraries as well. Have the seforim of ashkenazic sages such as the Maharsho , Remo , schach, Taz, Bach, Mogen Avrohom etc. On the right side. Whereas the Rambam, Ramban, Rashbo, Ritvo, Ran, Nimookay Yosef etc. on the left. Even though those Sephardic scholars lived earlier , I put them below in accodance with the prevalent halocho today.

Good idea

50

 Aug 31, 2015 at 06:58 PM Lakewooder Says:

Reply to #40  
Anonymous Says:

Based on your comment it is clear, you work at a yeshiva or a girl school.YOU DO NOT GET IT.The rule in some yeshivas is if a father is in Kollel ,tuition is FREE.Some of those Kollel guys get lots of money from parents and /or in laws to go to hotels for Peasch ,new mini vans,best clothing for family,best apartments some time even a house.If the Yeshivas will demand some tuition from kollel people .since they can afford every thing else ,that will solve the PROBLEM.Those Kollel guys that truly living simple live should NOT pay any tuition.

Maybe in small out of town communties but not in large communties. Generally there are two prices, 1) asking price 2) the minimum one can give. There are usually no exceptions to #2. And most adminstrators know if thatkollel guy is rich and won't let them get away with paying the minimum. They also allow bal habatim to pay the minimum as well. Its not exclusive too kollel guys. What is exclusive and unfair is the fact that its easier to get into school if you are a kollel guy verse working guy. (unless you area rich working guy.) But the payment systems are usually fair and reasonable.

51

 Aug 31, 2015 at 07:17 PM BEEN THERE DONE THAT. HAD MY OWN ISSUE: Says:

BEEN THERE DONE THAT. HAD MY OWN ISSUE.
AFTER OUR GUTS AND A LOT OF SYATA DISMAYA WE WERE LUCKY.

52

 Aug 31, 2015 at 07:40 PM MyThreeCents Says:

Reply to #14  
ModernLakewoodGuy Says:

My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

Happy that she is a non Jewish environment and maybe under the influence of goyishe things (language, ideas, religion etc.)

53

 Aug 31, 2015 at 08:45 PM savtat Says:

Didn't this happen in Israel? I thought that education was covered in Israel. If it is discrimination against Sefardi students, then shame on them all. How awful. I taught in NY many years and we had students of all backgrounds, Sefardi and Ashkenazi. They were lovely and got along very well.

54

 Aug 31, 2015 at 08:59 PM Anonymous Says:

Sorry but this is insane ! He was obviously emotionally disturbed! You can't blame the school! While it is terrible that the daughter didn't get into this school, no normal parent would take such drastic action at the rejection! So he cared so much about his daughter and her education, but he didn't care about the pain she'd go through after her father died?! This is no ones fault but his,

55

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:02 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #14  
ModernLakewoodGuy Says:

My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

That's great. From the sound of all your posts, the public schools are more in line with your views and lifestyle than a frum yeshiva would be,

56

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:06 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
sissel613 Says:

For shame!!!! My heartfelt condolences to the entire family. Each and every person in Rechasim and elsewhere with these problems need to make a din vicheshbon and each and everyone involved needs to ask mechillah from the family. This is Yiddishkeit? No--this is krumkeit. Why are Sephardi people less valuable than Ashkenazim? Look back at so many gedolim --Rambam, Ibn Ezra, all the Gedolim from Bavel? Would you deny their children attendance because they are Sephardim? All the gedolim should put sanctions on all those "tzaddikim" who wouldn't allow the kids to go to a school. They are all Yiddishe kinder--each one a Yiddishe neshama--more important the anything in the world. Can you even envision the emotinal damage that has been wrought and these kids? And now this one will start her first grade in aveil, thanks to all those "tzaddim."

May he be a meilitz yosher for his family and maybe from on high he can put an end to this utter nonsense both in Israel and here as well. Unfortunately it happens here too.

While we all feel terrible For any child rejected from yeshiva, Nd the outcome of this situation was certain,y tragic, how can any of you turn the father into a victim?! Look what he just did to his daughter Nd the rest of his family!! What normal parent kills himself because of something like this, unfortUnate as it is?! Are you all so blind as to not see the extremity of what he did? How did he compound her pain at not having a school by killing himself, and making her suffer the torture of losing a father,and growing up without one parent ????

57

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:07 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
sissel613 Says:

For shame!!!! My heartfelt condolences to the entire family. Each and every person in Rechasim and elsewhere with these problems need to make a din vicheshbon and each and everyone involved needs to ask mechillah from the family. This is Yiddishkeit? No--this is krumkeit. Why are Sephardi people less valuable than Ashkenazim? Look back at so many gedolim --Rambam, Ibn Ezra, all the Gedolim from Bavel? Would you deny their children attendance because they are Sephardim? All the gedolim should put sanctions on all those "tzaddikim" who wouldn't allow the kids to go to a school. They are all Yiddishe kinder--each one a Yiddishe neshama--more important the anything in the world. Can you even envision the emotinal damage that has been wrought and these kids? And now this one will start her first grade in aveil, thanks to all those "tzaddim."

May he be a meilitz yosher for his family and maybe from on high he can put an end to this utter nonsense both in Israel and here as well. Unfortunately it happens here too.

The father must've been very mentally ill. No one does this because of a school rejection. What's more damaging to the child--- being rejected by a school ? Or losing a father at such a young age?

58

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:12 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #41  
Yonason_Herschlag Says:

There is terrible slander and evil accusations against the institution. Compare to gentile private institutions such as colleges; many top colleges accept less than 10% of the applicants. And yes, the college will accept students of lower caliber if they will be paying full tuition, and they will offer generous scholarships for star students. Both money and quality students enable them to build the best institution they can.

That school is not the only school in town, and is not obligated to accept every applicant. What is the point of accusing them?

Obviously the deceased had more troubles in life than just the fact that his daughter wasn't enrolled in the school of her/his choice. Millions of people are rejected each year from their first choice of school, but they don't all commit suicide over that.

Two of my boys weren't accepted into the yeshivas of their choice this year. That's part of divine providence, that we have to accept with emuna in Hashem - gam-ze-letovah, and we move on.

It's hard to imagine a man emotionally well, with wonderful shalom bayis, healthy children, and a steady job, taking his life over such an issue. Blaming the school is loshan hora.

Thank you for saying everything I'm thinking!!! Finally a voice of reason, intelligence and rationale!!! Yasher koach!!

59

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:14 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #43  
BoruchN Says:

Wow! Terrible pressure on the man/family. Sorry 'oxymoron' no 'Chareidi man' would ever commit suicide. If he does he's not 'chareidi.' There's always hope. HaShem can do anything He wishes, whenever He wishes
. Crazy story.

Exactly! If the girl was rejected from a certain school, it means Hashem didn't want her there. Who commits suicide over such a Thing, as upsetting as it may be? How did he just help his daughter?now her problems are much bigger than the school issue!

60

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:17 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #47  
lost my family member Says:

You are an ignoramus--I loved a sibling to suicide and he was as chareidi as they come. You don't know anything about why people do this--it has nothing to do with how frim you are--there are more suicides in the frim/chareidi community than you know. I know because I went to grieving groups for those who lost siblings and I was astonished at how many frim people there--Why don't you know? Because, like everything else--you sweep it under the carpet instead of dealing with it--like sexual abuse--like spousal abuse--like drug abuse--Down syndrome children--zug gornish--is vel shaten tzim shidduch. so Boruch--before you condemn a chareidi person for committed suicide--learn up on it. You evidently have a computer, so look up causes for suicide--you might learn something.

Its a nice myth that people like to say but its only true up to a point. Even hlocuast survivors often didn't mix with other ethnicites. And the ones from the wealthy areas didn't like the marmorsh/ carpatheian more folk country yidden. They were not to keen about marrying sefardim either. Not knocking them but I think your statement isa bit of an exageration.

61

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:18 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #47  
lost my family member Says:

You are an ignoramus--I loved a sibling to suicide and he was as chareidi as they come. You don't know anything about why people do this--it has nothing to do with how frim you are--there are more suicides in the frim/chareidi community than you know. I know because I went to grieving groups for those who lost siblings and I was astonished at how many frim people there--Why don't you know? Because, like everything else--you sweep it under the carpet instead of dealing with it--like sexual abuse--like spousal abuse--like drug abuse--Down syndrome children--zug gornish--is vel shaten tzim shidduch. so Boruch--before you condemn a chareidi person for committed suicide--learn up on it. You evidently have a computer, so look up causes for suicide--you might learn something.

There's one cause for suicide. Mental instability.

62

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:39 PM Chamor HaDor Says:

Shame on the whole corrupt system.

As someone who deals with these broken children l’acher hama’ase, I can tell you with absolute certainty that any school, anywhere, which rejects a child for reasons other than not having the proper resources to educate that child (hamayvin yovin), every involved person (from admin to janitor and all those in between) will have to give din vecheshbon after 120.

I will go as far as to say that they may even have a moral obligation to steer that child to an appropriate facility.

How these people sleep at night behooves me. I am not the parent of any such child but I do see and deal and cry with them every day.

Hashem yeracheim.

May this father’s holy neshomoh have menucha and may his almonoh and their precious princess have a nechomoh.

63

 Aug 31, 2015 at 09:47 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #48  
Jinx Says:

And will probably marry a goy, B'H

I feel very sorry for you, thinking that the world operates in extremes. Not everyone who goes to public school marries a goy; not everyone who piles on chumrahs upon chumrahs stays Jewish.

64

 Aug 31, 2015 at 10:47 PM Come on Says:

Reply to #14  
ModernLakewoodGuy Says:

My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

Nabach on your kids have to go to school with Mexicans. That's very sad and the fact your fine even happy with it is a tragedy in itself.
And it's all in your post name.

65

 Aug 31, 2015 at 11:56 PM boroparkermom Says:

A very sad story ! 64 comments on vin news with 66+ opinions !! Has anything good come out of this?!?! Have schools / yeshivas admin learnt any lesson here?! I sure hope so

66

 Sep 01, 2015 at 04:19 AM BarryLS1 Says:

No doubt the Yeshiva's have expenses that have to be met, but they are also supposed to be concerned about Yiddishe Neshama's. The other aspect to consider, is the schools being run efficiently?

My wife worked in a Yeshiva for a long time and the waste of money over things that had nothing to do with education and teacher/Rabbeim's salaries were sickening. They're like little fiefdoms run by the few and the parents are forced to pay for this abuse of funds.

67

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #6  
Anonymous Says:

You show a pathetic lack of intelligence by asserting that the schools should accept students without regard to the parents' ability to pay. A yeshiva or Beis Yaakov is a business that has to pay rent, utility bills, teachers salaries, insurance and purchase school supplies, computers and food for meals served to students. If everyone on this website who whines about the students who are not accepted were to donate to the schools and offer to cover the tuition of these students denied admission the problem will go away. Otherwise, your hateful and libelous comments about "retzicha" expose you to retribution from beis din shel maalah at this time of year.

you have no idea what besdin shel maalah will or won't do, and certainly no right to speak on that besdin's behalf.

And you are absolutely wrong that Yeshivas are simply businesses, just like shoe stores or groceries. If that's all you think they are, then the one you went to didn't do a very good job with you.

68

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:29 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #7  
Anonymous Says:

This article should have been placed @ the door of the principals, & menahalim here in NY who commit the same crime .I would love to mention them , but refrain from doing so , because .... its Loshon HaRah .

simply saying something negative about someone is not loshon horah.

Loshon horah is MUCH more complicated than that, and ironically, you should have been taught that in yeshiva as well.

69

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:30 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
Anonymous Says:

Most Brooklyn yeshivos are not doing well financially. It's not like there are so many people paying full tuition. The costs are not being offset. I think the bigger problem to be dealt with, at least short term, is the number of families that can, but don't pay tuition. Using the system to your advantage is acceptable (but unethical) in business. When it comes to rebbeim's salaries however, a little yashrus is in order.

you specifically name "Brooklyn yeshivas".

This did not happen anywhere near Brooklyn.

70

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:32 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #16  
FranZ Says:

what a pity. people can become so desperate. the situation will only get worse bc wealthy people who used to contribute to these schools have either stopped or lessened their donations due to the poor economy.

what a bunch of unfounded assumptions you make here! Staggering!

71

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
ShmutzVesh Says:

Oy vay !! I can totally understand this man
It is so difficult to be on this situation I am crying. More needs to be done regarding scholarships .

you can totally understand this man? then no wonder you're crying, because you have no brains either.

one yeshiva turned her down, so what? who was he teaching a lesson to? what did he think he would accomplish?

a very selfish, foolish man, who obviously had mental health issues, and you're blaming the yeshivas, even all the ones that didn't turn his daughter down, for his death?

You're all idiots.

This is not to say that yeshivas are NOT money-hungry animals, they are without question. but get over it, it's been this way for years, and getting worse. that's not a reason for suicide.

72

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:39 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #65  
boroparkermom Says:

A very sad story ! 64 comments on vin news with 66+ opinions !! Has anything good come out of this?!?! Have schools / yeshivas admin learnt any lesson here?! I sure hope so

yes. mental health is very important, and more screening of parents should be done.

If more parents killed themselves when a child was refused admission to any school, there would be lots more room in yeshivas and schools.

73

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:43 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #62  
Chamor HaDor Says:

Shame on the whole corrupt system.

As someone who deals with these broken children l’acher hama’ase, I can tell you with absolute certainty that any school, anywhere, which rejects a child for reasons other than not having the proper resources to educate that child (hamayvin yovin), every involved person (from admin to janitor and all those in between) will have to give din vecheshbon after 120.

I will go as far as to say that they may even have a moral obligation to steer that child to an appropriate facility.

How these people sleep at night behooves me. I am not the parent of any such child but I do see and deal and cry with them every day.

Hashem yeracheim.

May this father’s holy neshomoh have menucha and may his almonoh and their precious princess have a nechomoh.

If you are involved in any way with education, then you should get another job.

Not only don't you know English well enough to write a coherent letter (look up the word "behooves" - you obviously have no idea what it means).

But you also suffer from delusions of adequacy: you think you know that these people "will have to give din vecheshbon after 120"? here's news for you: EVERYONE will have to do so, not just your chosen few.

74

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:45 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #22  
Anonymous Says:

So sad it had to turn out this way. But now his kids don't have a father. Oh vey. In school she will be excepted now but her father she can't bring back.

it seems "excepted" that whatever school you went to wasn't much better than staying at home.

75

 Sep 01, 2015 at 12:58 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #66  
BarryLS1 Says:

No doubt the Yeshiva's have expenses that have to be met, but they are also supposed to be concerned about Yiddishe Neshama's. The other aspect to consider, is the schools being run efficiently?

My wife worked in a Yeshiva for a long time and the waste of money over things that had nothing to do with education and teacher/Rabbeim's salaries were sickening. They're like little fiefdoms run by the few and the parents are forced to pay for this abuse of funds.

every about the yeshivas said here is true. So what?

This article is not about how bad the yeshivas are, and that is certainly not new, or newsworthy.

this article is about a sick man who took his life for an unrelated personal disappointment. how badly and greedily yeshivas are run are not the reason this man killed himself.

76

 Sep 04, 2015 at 02:29 PM yidineh Says:

this father did what he did with no regard for the wife and children left behind. I agree with #75. this was just an excuse for hi to do what he wanted to do and think he can blame it on someone else. my heart goes out to his family who was probably living with a sick situation for a long time

77

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