New Jersey – Lakewood, New Jersey bore the brunt of two massive storms this weekend.
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The first was a monster nor’easter that buried the township under massive piles of snow.
The second was a fiery speech given by Los Angeles philanthropist Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz who blasted Lakewood for an elitist mentality that has left numerous children without a school to call their own, shattering families and potentially setting the stage for these youngsters to abandon their yiddishkeit completely.
Rechnitz’s words came at a dinner held this past Sunday night celebrating 30 years of chinuch in Lakewood under the leadership of Rabbi Shlomo Chaim Kanarek who serves as dean at six area schools.
Watch below Rechnitz entire speech. Courtesy of TheLakewoodscoop.com
Billed as “An evening of appreciation with achrayus for the future,” the dinner included a video presentation featuring three prominent Israeli rabonim: Rav Yitzchok Sheiner, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Kaminetz, Rav Berel Povarsky, rosh yeshiva of the Ponovitch Yeshiva and Rav Yitzchok Silberstein, rov of the Ramat Elchonon section of Bnei Brak, as well as opening remarks by Rabbi Kanarek and a special address by Rechnitz.
Rechnitz, who has been in New York due to the grave illness of his father in law, Rabbi Yisroel Belsky, began his remarks by sharing the incredible pain he has been witnessing at his father in law’s bedside but segued to anguish of another sort, that of mothers who cry themselves to sleep nightly, fathers who live with never ending anxiety and children who live a daily nightmare as they see their friends going off to school, while they themselves sit home because there is no school in Lakewood that will accept them.
“Who has the right, who has that G-d like complex, that feels they have the right to inflict such irreparable tzaar?” asked Rechnitz of the crowd that packed Lake Terrace Hall. “If you are ready to take the achrayus, then stand up now. Amod, Amod.”
Rechnitz said that he has been bombarded with calls from mothers, fathers and even children who have asked the well known baal tzedaka to intercede on their behalf so that they can be placed in a school and that on his drive to Lakewood that night he had received three more phone calls on the same subject.
“How can we be comfortable just because everything is fine and dandy by us while someone else is clearly suffering?” queried Rechnitz. “Forget ahavas yisroel. I won’t ask for that much. But another yid needs us. Another yid is crying out to us. How can we not answer him, yet we expect Hashem to answer us, to take care of all our needs because, let’s face it, we are all needy. We all have bakashos. We all daven for all the help we can get. We all need siyata dishmaya.”
Rechnitz noted that while the problem of children out of school does exist in a few other places, the problem is exponentially worse in Lakewood.
“L’tzaareynu harav, we have a machala in Lakewood,” said Rechnitz. “No other out of town community would ever allow a child to be left without a school. In LA if a child wouldn’t have a school , the first day the whole community would be all over it. The same thing would happen in Baltimore, Chicago, Toronto or anywhere else. This is basically a Lakewood machala. Yes, there a few kids in Monsey, more than a few kids in Brooklyn, but nowhere else and at no other time in history was this problem close to the magnitude it is in Lakewood.”
Rechnitz praised Lakewood for its many Torah institutions and the incredible chesed that takes place on a daily basis, but said that people turn a blind eye when it comes to children who are out of school, an attitude he termed “hypocritical.”
It is not the heads of the mosdos who are to blame for the problem, opined Rechnitz, but rather the people of Lakewood, whose view of others is devoid of the fundamental principles of Torah Judaism.
“We turned our frumkeit into an idol but we’ve forgotten some of the basic tenets of yiddishkeit. This new Torah some of us have created has a few Ani Maamins that have crippled us, have crippled so many of our children. Here are some of the new distorted Ani Maamins: Ani Maamin that I am better than you. Ani Maamin that I have to show all my chumras so everyone can see how frum I am. Ani Maamin that your children are not good enough for my children. Ani Maamin that the Torah was given to perfect children and perfect families.
Ani Maamin that there is no room for individuality, we have to all fit into the same perfect model. Would you not agree with me that these five ideas are kefira, they are contrary to the entire message of yiddishkeit?”
Rechnitz noted that while every child is special to Hashem, the general Lakewood populace sees only some children as being worthy.
“We developed an elitist attitude, an ugly superiority complex devoid of edelkeit, of kedusha, of achdus, of genuine dveykus,” charged Rechnitz. “We joined a rat race. Yener is never good enough for us. They are not frum enough for us.”
Rechnitz wondered when a life of klei kodesh evolved into a system where some consider themselves to be superior to others, noting that many of the mosdos that he helps support would be unwilling to accept his own children as students.
“Everyone in this world has their own tachlis, their individual journey,” said Rechnitz. “Why are we all judging each other? Why do I and others feel like we are being judged by a sanhedrin of 50,000 people in Lakewood? I feel terrible for most people who live here in that respect. Nobody here gives or gets any slack. Forget a second chance, that’s out of the question. You have better odds of winning the lottery.”
Alleging that many in Lakewood have glossed over the fundamentals of yiddishkeit in their quest to fill their lives with chumros, Rechnitz said that mitzvos bein adam l’chaveiro seem to have become optional in Lakewood. Slamming those parents who call up schools and tell them if they don’t reject a particular child, they will pull their own children out of the yeshiva, Rechnitz exhorted school principals and administrators not to cave in under the pressure, which he likened to bloodshed.
“This is a churban for klal yisroel,” said a passionate Rechnitz. “How dare you destroy another child’s life because of your opinion of another child? How dare you face Hashem by davening when you snuffed out a yiddishe neshama? … If the school isn’t good enough for your child, shut your mouth and go find him a school that works, or create your own school just for your child. Make a yeshiva just for him. This way nobody will ever be able to have any negative influence on your child prodigy.”
Rechnitz said that he and others are prepared to finance inclusive schools so that no child will be forced to stay home.
“I look forward to building schools but I’m not going to take any part of this,” said Rechnitz.
Rechnitz ended his 51 minute speech with an apology for the harshness of his words and noted the significance of delivering his words on Tu B’Shvat.
“Tonight I want to make a Shehechiyanu on a new chapter in Lakewood , a new beginning, a new era, one in which no child will ever be rejected again,” concluded Rechnitz. “Leave the money to us. But let’s treat our children the way we are supposed to treat our children.”
I guess as always amongst the frum, money talks. If you and I said this wed be shunned but Rechnitz isn’t.
What a powerful speech for such an important issue.
Often all parties are to blame.
1)The school administrators only take guys with pull
2) Existing parents but pressure to only take a certian type
3) The schools are over crowded. New applicants refuse to send to a new school often simply because es pas nisht . They are embarrassed that they only got into a new school. Of course they gloss it over by saying we only want and “established school”. but the new schools generally only hire “established” well known people to their faculity. Its generally the old established schools that hire the newbies.
Everyone is to blame for the exclusiveness altitude that prevails
you left out many positive points unfortunately you are taking many “lines ” out of context in order to get 100 vicious comments and have the speech backfire did you selectively leave out the moshol of the canvas of lakewood,….there are answers to some of the points he mentioned others are deeper & more complex take the good out of it and dont split hairs
Wow. He is, of course, completely right.
Thank you Mr Rechnitz. Next time I’m in LA, I intend looking you up just to shake your hand and thank you personally.
Lakewood is imitating Benei Berak. I hope and pray that you (and maybe a few other like-minded people) can stop this despicable decline in its tracks.
This man speaks the truth! Shlomo Yehuda is the Trump of the Frum! Lakewood is a sick place full of hot heads and deluisional “rosh yeshivas” who see nothing but black and white. instead of no shirt no service they believe no hat and jacket no service. Its no wonder a chunk of the at risk children stem from this ill stricken city of hypocrisy. Thank you SYR for saying it as it is and having the baitzim to call out the sick ideology that sadly exists across the sad town of Lakewood. This speech will hopefully create the change that is so desperately needed to renew Lakewood to a city of opportunity for everyone and not some mold that BMG sees fit. Its time for these hot heads to take their hats off and get a reality check into whats really going on!
Someone else with not deep pockets like Rechniz would have given such a speech in Lakewood or anywhere else, he would have been shunned and kicked out of the event..
So I’m glad Rechnitz has the $$ and can say the truth without being ostracized.
He correct the school situation in Lakewood is messed up. The question now is will the schools take what he said into consideration and try to fix the situation or the only thing that they are good at is taking his money…
He is so right no children and no parent should have to worry about getting in to a school.
The truth is that this happens in all our communities all too often. Schools assess 4 year old before accepting them into kindergarten. I know of at least 5 families who’s children were not accepted into kindergarten. Schools have become the businesses of the Rabanim who run the schools. Everyone wants carbon copies of perfection – the only way to be financially viable as a school is to have full classes – the only way to have full classes (25-30 kids) is to make sure they are all easy to teach. Never mind children at risk – dealing with the rejection of 4 year olds is enough to cause adults at risk.
Mr. Rechnitz spoke very well and from his heart. It was a great speech. Now lets see it implemented. It should be a zchus for a refuah shelaima for his saintly shver.
The fact is that R. Aharon just expected Lakewood to be a relatively small tight knit community of learning men. Now that it has become the fastest growing frum community, with a population that is becoming more diverse, it must adapt itself to cater to the masses and not just the elitists or self perceived elitists. In other words, Lakewood is no longer just a learning town. It is like Flatbush, Monsey and Queens. It must mature and respect and provide for all segments of the community.
Imagine that this is the world of special kids for years.
A famous Mosad in Far Rockaway, known for accepting young children that need shadows, was asked to let my son apply. The office secretary immediately told me Brooklyn kids should apply in Brooklyn and would not send an application. Despite many attemps she continued to hurtfully refuse. I did point out that her boss ( a very respected person) just helped a Far Rockaway child get into a Brooklyn School. The rules bend only one way.
I eventually was allowed to apply. They refused to see my son but called to demand a check as an application fee. After the chack was sent, never the courtesy of a response.
There are myriad reasons not to accept a child but there is no excuse for demanding a check and then never following through with a response.
I have dealt wth all kinds of situations in personal and business life but this behavior has never been matched.
Right or wrong i dont care……just because he’s rich and supports yeshivis doesnt mean he should comment on these issues. People should know their place in society. Hashem didnt give him money so rhat he could have a say in how yeshivis are run. Leave that job up to the Gedolei hador. Too often jewish institutions fail becaus the money guys feel they have to have an opinion.
I would love to see Rechnitz say this in Brooklyn. The ease in pointing at Lakewood is that it is a confined geographic location. Lakewood has the added feature that there are forces that seek to (or self consider) to reign over the city and its varied communities. There is, at the very least, a prevailing belief that Lakewood is a single community that needs to follow a single standard. While that is not true for Brooklyn, the message is one and the same.
The painful reality is that the mosdos in Bklyn do exactly the same thing. There is no such myth of residing under a single umbrella, and any yeshiva rejecting an application, regardless of the excuse, can justify it by pointing to the phone listings of so many other yeshivos. “Let the parents apply there.” “I’m not sentencing the child to the street.” These rationalizations have never prevented a child from experiencing the deadly impact of rejection.
It is horrible that parents must resort to pressure from gedolim or gevirim to get their child accepted into yeshiva. The delusion that our yeshivos produce Gedolei Yisroel feeds this disease.
Yasher Koach. Now let’s watch this work.
I cried when I heard this. Ashrecha Mr. Rechintz, It’s time the school administration is brought to task. They should be shamed by name in public..
This man is the BOMB!! He tells it like it is. Why arent more Lakewood Roshei Yeshivos involved in OUTREACH and KIRUV?? They are introspective and elitist and look only unto themselves. They are the only Keepers of the Faith. They and their children cannot be exposed to outside, less Yeshivish influences. They are so weak in their Emunah that they are afraid it will be destroyed by others who think a little differently. Contrast that with Chabad or Chofetz Chaim who is so certain of their Emunah that they go to the disaffected, unaffiliated, OTD, etc. and spout their Emunah without fear.
Who is stronger in Emunah? Lakewood or Chabad? Who is more effective in outreach? Who is more effective in Kiruv? Who is more founded in Emunah??
Ja Accuse!!!
I know of one young many from BT family (Russian engineers) who was rejected in all the schools in Brooklyn, his parents eventually sent him to a public school, guess what he recently married a shiksa while his parents remain frum, now BJX will want to raise money of what I said.
how about funding (for all ages), a strictly limudei kodesh Kahn academy?
By nest week it will all be forgotten and things will continue as usual! We have a great track record proving us that that’s how it always goes!
They will never change the system because that’s all they got! “I am bigger and better than you” other than that the entire Lakewood ( and many other communities) is for none!
The mentality of minding your own business is unfortunately NOT in the Frum community, everyone lives on gossip and on destroying others, shameful and kudos to rechnitz for saying it the way it is, unfortunately it wont change, its in our DNA~
So Rechnitz has two choices open to him:
1) Donate only to those mosdos that follow his point of view or/&
2) With his financials let him open a mosod that will adhere to his idea.
With great wealth comes great responsibility !
I believe Rechnitz understands this and being that his name affirms many buildings in Lakewood he has the responsibility to speak out!
Yasher Koach!
The issue is not only related to Yeshiva’s in Lakewood, but all over the Yiddisher Velt – Yeshiva’s in Brooklyn, Shiduchim – it’s a Magaifa of Klal Yisroel Kudos to his amazing speech
In Flatbush you Daven when your daughter is in high school that she gets in to a top seminary…. In Lakewood you Daven that your daughter gets accepted to high school with your sense of normalcy still intact. Grovel? Big deal. Sadly, it is part of the process. #change
So much pain has been expressed here. Clearly this has touched a nerve. There is much kindness and caring in Lakewood. Yet, this is a problem. I don’t know if the residents see themselves in his words. Perhaps his concerns will be heard and acted on.
It’s a very very old tradition to trample people’ Leshem Shomayim’ It started almost 4000 years ago, when the Shvotim sold their brother and included Hashem in their Bais Din, A number of years ago, there was a huge ‘Kiddush Hashem’ rally over the’ Emanuel Saga’ when the Slonim Chassidim decided that Hashem made a serious mistake when he allowed Sepharadim and Baalei Teshuva into his chosen people, Hence, they separated the school building and build a wall, so that their holy daughters will not be able to get even a glimpse of the others, And in Lakewood the general attitude is, that Hashem erred in his priorities, and they know better which chumros come first,
I listened to SY Rechnitz’s speech and felt my Neshama burning inside me. How on target SY Rechnitzs was!
From someone who is a yeshiva bochur and has countless relationships with teenagers, Bochurim etc I can tell you that there is an undercurrent that is not being addressed that I believe is connected with what SY Rechnitz stated in his speech last night.
There is an overwhelming frustration amongst many teenagers and bm bochurim in regards to society’s expectation that one must become a person who studies Gemara/Torah all day and learns as in depth and as long as required, while at the same time one’s emotional growth and personal development takes a back seat and falls to the wayside.
That is, that somehow we can assume that in todays generation the majority of young boys/men are a complete Keli (specifically emotionally) who will be able to reap the benefits of being fully engrossed with learning Torah all day.
Sure it’s easy to give a boy a Gemara, a shtender and maar mekomos to prepare for a shuir, and at the same time constantly hammer home the importance of learning Torah but how much do we cater to the emotional needs and development of our youth and bochurim?
Somehow we assume that when a boy enters Bais Medrash (or high school) he is fully mature and capable to take on the same rigorous hourly schedule and curriculum as those which men far older than them struggle to abide by.
But these boys are still just that. Growing, developing boys/young men.
They still have emotional needs, they still have individual interests, talents, and self esteem to develop and nurture. They still need guidance and a loving Rebbi who they can confide in with the knowledge and total confidence that they will not be judgmental or think down of them if they reveal that they are struggling in areas of Avodas Hashem, Keduasha, or a lack of interest/enjoyment in learning.
Somehow, it seems that we became focused on image management.
That despite one’s individuality, despite a boy’s personal strengths and weaknesses, as long as one is doing what he is told is the ideal in life, and hence is what looks good in the eyes of one’s rebbeim, peers and society in general, then a bochur simply must do it because that is what is expected of him, despite his personal temperament and emotional needs and development not being catered to.
I hope that RY Rechnitzs speech will be a catalyst for change. Sure there will be detractors and naysayers who scream “who does Rechnitz think he is/how dare he” and those who pull the “Daas Torah” card without even knowing what Daas Torah really holds by or stands for.
But Emes is Emes and those who are in touch with their Neshama, who are able to dig past the layers upon layers of gayva bad middos and elitism, were able to hear and feel the Emes that permeated from SY Rechnitz’s speech.
Yasher Koach SY Rechnitz! Chazak V’ematz
SYR!!! chazaq u’baruch!!!!! i want to kiss your hand!!!!
“Ani Maamin that there is no room for individuality, we have to all fit into the same perfect model. Would you not agree with me that these five ideas are kefira, they are contrary to the entire message of yiddishkeit?”
“How dare you destroy another child’s life because of your opinion of another child? How dare you face Hashem by davening when you snuffed out a yiddishe neshama? … If the school isn’t good enough for your child, shut your mouth and go find him a school that works, or create your own school just for your child. Make a yeshiva just for him.”
This is why 3 of us created Machon Menucha in Jerusalem – to provide agrea euatuin high school for the individual.student who doesn’t succeed in a cookie-cutter school. As for elitist: imagine throwing a girl out because she has Sephardi friends? She was out of school for a year. We recognize the danger of being out of school & the feeling that they don’t belong. We build them up & give them the tools they need to succeed.
Perhaps Mr. Rechniz is interested in finding out more about us; with more support, we can reach more girls.
How different are these comments than an Israeli site where they bashed SYR to smithereens for daring to speak up and not let “daas Torah” decide what’s proper. Great to see that his words were taken b’pashtus as he meant them. Will anything change? Hopefully yes, if the public backs him and makes it happen. Sitting back and krechtzing won’t help.
A SCHOOL OR YESHIVA FOR PERFECT STUDENTS IS LIKE A HOSPITAL FOR HEALTHY PEOPLE. TO OUR DEAR KEHILLOS, MECHANCEM,YESHIVAS
SCHOOLS,ETC , SOME CHILDREN CANNOT ADOPT A SYSTEM WHICH WE ALL AGREE MUST BE . THEY STILL CAN AND SHOULD GROW UP TO BE
NICE JEWISH CHILDREN , IT IS THE KEHILLAS JOB TO FIND A WAY TO KEEP THESE CHILDREN IN SCHOOL OR YESHIVAS SO THEY CAN ACHEIVE TO BE THER UTMOST . MOST OF THESE KIDS ARE VERY SMART AND HAVE VERY GOOD MIDOS THERE IS UNDERLYING PROBLEMS THESE CHILDREN MIGHT HAVE THAT IS CAUSING A PROBLEM IN SCHOOL . I WOULD EXPECT IN YEAR 2016 WIH ADVANCED SCHOOL SYSTEM AND PROGRAMS THAT U FIND A WAY . IT MUST BE HARD WORK. I KNOW IT IS EASIER TO NOT ACCEPT THE THEM
The next issue I hope to see addressed is, parents being forced to support learning sons for numerous years, and “working and learning boys” being shunned as being inferior,
the end of the day,all of us that were present knows how true every single word was.Its time for all the roshei mosdos to look themselves in the mirror and realize how far they have fallen in ahavas yisroel and bein adam lechavori .Absolute power corrupts absolutely!!!!
Shlomo Yehude Rechnitz is the Jewish @realDonaldTrump
PLEASE COME AND SAVE THE MONSEY CHILDREN. ……..URGENT. …
ONE THING I CONFIRMED MONEY TALKS AND IT TALKS. NOONE SHOULD KNOW THE PAIN OF BEING REJECTED.
…no driving mothers chassidisha font stand a chance
what business do u own
..where do u davan…
we would love to take u we have no room.
that’s just a few questions.
And in the end for $10,000 cash we can take u.
first of all this is a historic speech – absolutely incredible second of all my boys and girls both recently started school in lakewood and both times I was asked to bring them in and they basically only spoke to them and farherred them about knowledge and social skills etc.. the whole time. So I don’t know what you are talking about…
Rabbi Rechnitz has to follow’ Daas Torah’ of the gedolei Hador, like Rav Elyashiv ZT”L, who was in great pains over the discrimination and bloodsheding of otherwise qualified families, because of their past or origin, He went ahead to establish a new seminary, named after his late wife, for those disadvantaged, Or Rav Steinman who allows to his Yeshiva Orchos Torah, many of them, and has a network of yeshivas, in multiple cities under his direction,
Wow.. Kudos!!
The same problem happened in Brooklyn about 20 years ago where about 40 girls were not accepted to high school. Rav Pam Zt”l the Chofetz Chaim of our doir and the kindest most gentle soul you can ever meet called together a number of principals of the larger schools and read them the riot act. He forced them all to take
in each and every girl. I heard this story directly from Rabbi Oelbaum of Machon High school who was one of the proncipals called in by Rav Pam.
Rav Pam was a leader not like todays frocks who have no guts to stand up to the so called askans and wealthy big shots.
SYR kol hakovod but next time try to find a gadol to same the same speech for a greater effect.
From all these comments, testimonies, and anecdotes it is clear we are in the midst of an epidemic of failing chinuch. We are failing our children! And then comes the hand-wringing when these kids go OTD, get involved with drugs, alcohol & promiscuity. Follow OUR example and do something – parents, as R’ Shlomo Yehuda says, if you can’t find a suitable school for your child – start your own!
One thing must be said. This is not a Lakewood issue. It’s a Williamsburg, Crown Heights, Flatbush, Boro Park, Queens, Chicago, LA, Monsey problem. It is everywhere. Kids are rejected because their fathers don’t always dress in black & white or they actually earn a living. They are rejected because mom is a gioyres. How about because the boy is not mitsuyan + + + (as was said to me!)
I beg you, don’t forget the girls. Have you seen what’s going on out there? And in Israel…. girls from top Chassidic families are lost, because the schools reject them for the most stupid reasons (one girl I met somewhere was not wearing the requisite pocket book OUTSIDE school.) How ridiculous is that?
We are proud of our girls and their accomplishments. Don’t let any more fall through the cracks.
All that there is left to be said is Yasher Koach to Mr. Rechnitz.
Wow!!! Thank you Mr. Rechnitz for having the courage to speak up!
There is a great frustration by parents who get rejected by a yeshiva or by a girl’s school.
Rabbi Rechnitz hit the spot and gets an A+ for addressing a highly emotional issue and he also gets an A+ for saying things that so many people would love to say, but don’t have the guts to say it. Therefore, the overall response was….. Wow, he really gave it to them.
With my great respect for Rabbi Rechnitz for all his good deeds, I must say that I was very disappointed with the speech for the following reasons…..
1. All these frustrated parents, once their child is accepted do they really want that the Yeshivah should accept anybody regardless of their background ? If the answer is NO, why not, what about the great Ahavat Yisroel that Rabbi Rechnitz suggested ?
2. Who is Lakewood that he was blasting ? Lakewood Is a town in New Jersey that so many different people from so many different backgrounds are coming to, because of economic reasons and has no connection to the original BMG whatsoever. There is Bli Ayin Horah a great successful explosion in Lakewood, and the growth can’t keep up with the Yeshivas. That is part of the problem.
3. Even when a person has some very good poin
Unfortunately he is wright.
You can already see some youth falling away because they don’t feel they belong.
.
It appears Lakewood Scoop buckled under pressure and removed this video from their website because according to them, one of their rabbis said it was causing too much machlokes…
Thank you Shlomo Yehuda for once and forever exposing this fallacy in the Frum World. I consider it a personal privilege and honor to act 365 days a year as the Shliach of the Lubavitcher Rebbe to State of Utah and reaching out to and loving “off the derech” young Jewish boys and girls as part of Project HEART http://www.jewishutah.com/heart
Loving a fellow Yid and providing him/her with love, warmth and acceptance is not only to Frum Metzuyanim as many in Lakewood would like to believe.