Crown Heights, NY – Chabad School Bans Mothers From Wearing Long Wigs, Bright Nail Polish

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    Crown Heights, NY – A haredi Orthodox school in Brooklyn raised ire online after it issued a strict dream code — for the parents of its students.

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    The Chabad-affiliated Bnos Menachem school in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, sent a letter last week to parents inform parents of the code, which bans denim, tight clothes, and leggings and requires nail polish to be in “conservative/soft colors,” wigs to not go past the shoulder blades, skirts to be mid-calf length and elbows, feet and the neckline to be completely covered.

    The letter, posted on CrownHeights.info and on Twitter, does not stipulate any specific dress requirements for men.

    “It should not be hard to meet these requirements, as our students need to keep similar rules and it is imperative that the home and the school follow the same standards. By showing our girls how to dress with finesse, they will have good, true hassidische role models,” says the letter, signed by school director Motty Gurary.

    “Parents who adhere to these rules will be welcomed in Bnos Menachem School,” the letter later continues. It asks parents to sign a contract agreeing to follow the dress code.

    It is not uncommon for haredi Orthodox schools to mandate dress codes for students and parents, but Bnos Menachem’s rules seem to have struck a nerve with some Crownheights.info readers. Others defended the school’s right to set rules as it saw fit.

    “Really overstepping the boundaries,” wrote one commenter. Another responded: “It’s a private school. Don’t like the rules, don’t send your children there.”

    “Great. Please write s [sic] letter for the standard for the fathers. Thank you,” wrote another reader.

    Gurary did not immediately return a request for comment by JTA.


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    48 Comments
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    CHANA1
    CHANA1
    6 years ago

    Why is this newsworthy?

    6 years ago

    If for the Rebbe was OK that the Rebbetzin went with her own hair uncovered why should we commit ourselves to short wigs ?

    Liepa
    Liepa
    6 years ago

    School is right, 100% !!!

    6 years ago

    The shock of this is that a Chabad school is taking such a step. And it comes as a surprise for a few reasons.

    1. In Chabad, schools did not need to get involved in setting standards. There was a Rebbe, and his word was law. I have no doubt that he set certain standards back then. But in his absence, it is likely that no one wanted to assume such a responsibility.

    2. The derech of Chabad is to be “inclusive”, not “exclusive”. That has been their hallmark for a very long time. Implying that someone can be excluded is a real shock.

    3. Aside from the “exclusivity” issue, there is a real live risk of kids being rejected and going to public schools. As it is, there is a often spoken about caste system in CH. The BT community is often seen as separate from the FFB community, and shidduchim between the two groups are not as common as one would expect from the welcoming FFB community. It has been an issue that has become major debate and discussion. I don’t know which community will struggle more with these dress codes, but barring a girl from entering school is a frightening thought considering today’s streets.

    6 years ago

    Are these standards only for the Crown Heights Schools? What about Lubavitch schools out of town? What if it’s a Lubavitch school that has fewer than 50% of parents who are shower shabbos?
    I’m sick of this frum shaming! There is no perfect school or parent body, just teach them with love and compassion.
    Or make believe it’s a kiruv school because we all need chizuk even the women who dress to their standards and have no compunction about fraudulently filling out applications for social programs.
    This frum shaming has got to stop!

    qazxc
    qazxc
    6 years ago

    Anyone think there is a heter to use this as an excuse to spread lashon harah about chabad, parts of chabad or specific chabad personalities ?

    Normal
    Normal
    6 years ago

    A male rabbi telling women what shade of nail polish not to wear and exactly how long a long Sheitel is, is really asking for trouble. But I do agree that this is a very pressing problem and will make Sholom in the world and is probably the root cause of kids taking drugs, Rabbonim molesting kids and committing fraud and is probably the reason so many chief rabbis of Israel are sitting in jail. Mr only problem is will Motty be personally be measuring the lengths of the Sheitel s?

    Slightly_confused
    Slightly_confused
    6 years ago

    It is only one school, there are other schools that girls can go to. No one has to go to public school.

    6 years ago

    The Rebetsin covered her hair and anyone who says otherwise, I wish a refuah shlaima. In regards to the rules, it is about time. All the religious girls schools in Brooklyn have a dress code. The Rabonim are fully behind the rules. End of story.

    Tsfat-Breslover-Kotzker
    Tsfat-Breslover-Kotzker
    6 years ago

    It is a shonda that these takanos allow women to out in any sort of shaitel.
    A tichel or a shpitzel, of course with a matching shawl, is not to much to ask of mothers that want a chasidishe cinuch for their maidle.
    I also notice no mention of stockings denire (opacity). Nebech.
    This liberal standard sounds very modern.

    6 years ago

    To be fair, there are alternative girls’ schools in CH. So there is no reason for any girl to attend public school. As a CH resident with daughters, I say “it’s about time” the schools instituted standards and I think the same policies should be adapted by every school. However, based on what I know from BM parents & even more so from wannabe-but-rejected parents, the school does not keep consistency. If Dad doesn’t have a beard, mom dresses like a Hot Chanie, & they openly have a 54″ plasma TV they turn a blind eye, because these parents donate A LOT of money to the school.

    Stop the hypocrisy. Stop honoring people who do not represent the Chabad standards the Rebbe instilled in us. Stop rejecting ultra-tzanuah but broke BT’s in favor of the modern, but rich, CH yuppies. If BM can do that, then they really are the Chassidishe school they claim to be.

    RobertS
    RobertS
    6 years ago

    Private schools have a right to set such standards but it only reinforces the disproportionate emphasis of superficial measures of tzniut over character and behavior: as long as mom is tznua, we don’t care if dad goes to strip clubs and cheats his employees and customers.

    RobertS
    RobertS
    6 years ago

    Dressing like tzadikkim doesn’t make one a tzaddik.

    RobertS
    RobertS
    6 years ago

    Also note the father is required to sign the form that specifies details about sheitlach, skirts, nail polish. So shorts, sleeveless tee-shirts, shaved heads, and earrings are ok for students’ fathers?

    hernoor
    hernoor
    6 years ago

    Lol hakovod to those involved in creating this new school policy. You did what is right in Hashem’s eyes and all those noise makers who are against tznius and decency are irrelevant.

    TruthIsIt
    TruthIsIt
    6 years ago

    This is news ?

    MayerAlter
    MayerAlter
    6 years ago

    Yes, it sure is news. The hallmark dress of many young Chabad women, including the youthful “Rebbitzens” is a long sheitel, bright nail polish, a clingy top [often semi see thru] with sleeves that just reach the elbows when the arm is straight, tight denim skirt at least one size too small, and just reaching the knees. The less frum ensure that the skirt is so tight anyone can see the line of their skimpy underwear. Why is Bnos Menachem seeking to exclude its own co-religionists? Sure this is news!

    6 years ago

    In other words, Chabad has now joined the majority of the frum community, and has appointed the yeshivos/schools to be in charge of the chinuch of the parents. I have zero problem with a dress code for students. It is the domain of the school to be mechanech their students in the proper adherence to halacha of tznius. And the tznius level in CH leaves much to be desired – I was there and saw it. It is correct that something should be done, and probably was when the Rebbe was alive. But is the leverage of children getting their deserved chinuch OK?

    yaakov doe
    Member
    yaakov doe
    6 years ago

    I have recently noticed a lack of tznius among many of the women in Crown Heights. This school is attempting to bring about a positive change, All except the nail polish color is understandable.

    Tsfat-Breslover-Kotzker
    Tsfat-Breslover-Kotzker
    6 years ago

    Let Chabad be Chabad.
    If you really want your kids tzinua and chasidish you need to move to Meah Sha’arim, Bnei Brak, RBS B, Willialmsburg, KJ, New [], etc.
    Some will disagree.
    But it’s still true.

    MyThreeCents
    MyThreeCents
    6 years ago

    I think it is a great idea. All frum schools should have this dress code for the mothers and teachers of their students. They shouldn’t only allow sheitels either but, should encourage other head coverings which are a hidur to sheitels, in many people’s opinions.
    (Never mind this coming from Chabad and whether or not the rebbitzen covered her hair or not. Years ago some of the frummest women didn’t cover their hair, due to their lack of knowledge at the time.)

    6 years ago

    I saw The Lubavitcher Rebbetzin many times on the street she did not cover her hair and did wear a wig that why she was encouraged not to appear in public , you have most probably seen more pictures of her confident Devora H. then of the Rebbetzin