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New York - Hundreds Attend First-Ever Abuse-Victim Chizuk Event For Chardei Jews; Speakers Laud Hikind As Hero; Call on All Yeshivas To Recognize The Problem

Published on: March 2, 2009 11:17 AM
By: VIN News By David Gold
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New York - A community rally designed to express support to victims of sexual abuse in the frum community was held today in Borough Park.

The event, which was spearheaded by State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, was held at the Borough Park YMHA at the corner of 14th Ave. and 50th St. at 11:00 a.m.

Assemblyman Hikind, serving as emcee, opened the event by thanking the attendees for “being here.”  man and women sat on either side of the partitioned room. Hikind then thanked his son Yoni and Rabbi Dr. Asher Lipner for assisting in staging the event.

“It’s something so simple, something that no one could have a problem with,” said Hikind in explaining the event’s purpose.  “It’s to say to the victims, to say to those going through so much pain, to give them chizuk, to say, ‘We support you.’ ”

Hikind then introduced Rabbinical Alliance of America leader Rabbi Gershon Tanenbaum.

News12 covered the event click below

Rabbi Tanenbaum praised Hikind for his “bravery under fire,” describing how the Assemblyman, on an Israel solidarity mission, had even purchased a large amount of pizza from a shuttered pizza shop for beleaguered rescue workers literally underground in Israel’s north during the Lebanese hostilities in the summer of 2006.

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The rabbi then cited the historic 1994 search for a Chasidic girl lost in the woods of a Massachusetts state park—a rescue effort that, the rabbi recalled, drew several thousand volunteers from as far as Montreal and Maryland.  “When the message went out that one girl got lost, thousands of people responded.  We didn’t know who she was, we didn’t know her family… we knew that this child was one of ours.”

Comparing that dramatic turnout to the current rally, Rabbi Tanenbaum said that the event’s purpose was “to let every child know that we care, to let every victim and every family member know that we care; we care today, we care tomorrow and we care forever.”

Hikind then introduced activist Rabbi Shmelke Klein, stating, “This is the most important issue I have ever had to deal with in my 27 years in the Assembly.  Saving lives!  What’s more important?  I’m thankful for G-d for giving me this opportunity.  If you have listened for one day what I have listened to for weeks and weeks, you’d be upset and you’d do something.”
Speaking in Yiddish, Rabbi Klein said that the event gives voice to those not heard, and emphasized a solution based on Jewish unity.  “We must all work together.  Hashem should help that just as Klal Yisroel jumped into the sea together [at the Crossing of the Red Sea—Ed.], we should come together to make every kid feel they belong.”

Before introducing Rabbi Dr. Asher Lipner, Hikind commented that “We are finally talking about the problem and have started the education process… Thank G-d we are beginning to address it and we are going to make a difference.”  He also recognized clinical director Shlomo Lieberman, long-time friend and activist Joe Lazar, and noted sexual-abuse expert Dr. Hindy Klein.

Commenting on the standing-room-only crowd that had materialized, Hikind said, “The chizuk you have already given me to see you standing there—this is my dream!  I can tell you how proud Hashem is of us.”

In his remarks, Rabbi Dr. Lipner first thanked Hikind “for all the work you’ve done; thank you for making this day happen.”  He then connected the lives of Moshe Rabbeinu and Esther HaMalka [the biblical Moses and Queen Esther—Ed.], pointing out that while they lived in palaces separated from the suffering of their people, “they became heroes by putting themselves on the line.”

He then highlighted the famous story of Moshe Rabbeinu stopping one Jew from striking another, comparing it to taking a bold stand against today’s abusers. “Did he say, ‘I’d better not make a chillul hashem or make a scene?’ No.  Moshe did not ask questions.”

“I suppose today he’d threaten to throw Moshe’s children out of yeshivah or make sure they don’t get shiduchim,” he wryly commented on the Torah’s account of the accused’s reaction.  Eliciting the strongest applause of the event, Lipner compared Hikind’s outspoken stance to Moshe Rabbeinu’s iconic statement “Rasha!  Lama sakeh rayecha?”  [“Evildoer!  Why do you hit your friend?”—Ed.]

Concluding with an apology to all victims, Lipner said, “We are all Yidden and we must all come together to heal the entire community.”

Hikind then briefly acknowledged the presence of dynamic activist Ronnie Greenwald, whose presence he described as “unbelievable,” as well as the leaders of at-risk teen program O.U.R. Place, Agudath Israel’s Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel and Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC) founder Elliot Pasik.  (VIN later learned that Agudah’s Rabbi Shmuel Lefkowitz was also present.)

The Assemblyman then introduced Rabbi Dr. Bentzion Twerski, son of Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, explaining that while he was committed to treating the problem, he was not as qualified the professionals, also stating that ““I don’t give a darn about my political career, I care about the children.  This is—or was—such a taboo subject.”

In his comments, Rabbi Dr. Twerski expounded on the critical need for communal unity as a prerequisite for success in addressing sexual abuse.  “Anything without achdus won’t work,” he said.  He also compared abuse victims to folded paper, whose fold marks do not disappear no matter how pressed or treated is the page.

“I do not believe we will ever eradicate this problem to the zero level,” Twerski said.  “However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t accept anything but zero tolerance.”

Rabbi Dr. Twerski finished his remarks by calling on rabbinical and educational leaders who are consulted on abuse and mental-health issues to familiarize themselves with basic mental health by consulting with frum professionals.  “They have to have inkling of what’s going on, not because their Torah knowledge is lacking, but because they need input to understand what the facts are,” he pointed out.  “We are turning to you and saying, ‘Please work with us.  We are more than happy to help you understand the various forms of mental illness’ … Please utilize us in the mental health field, we want to be helpful.”

Rabbi Yerachmiel Milstein of Project Chazon then appeared on a projection screen, having recorded a message for the event due to a last-minute inability to be personally present.

“It’s simply an abomination,” said Rabbi Milstein in his video recording.  “We can’t stand idly by.  For way too long we’ve been in collective denial; we as a community chose not to get involved, and Dov Hikind deserves kudos,” he said to applause.

Rabbi Milstein’s message consisted of several concrete points, including the fact that despite each individual abuse case being horrific, the percentage of abuse in the community remains small.  Rabbi Milstein said that “the greatest chizuk for victims is to know that the community is waking up, not just offering sympathy but taking concrete action to make difference in the lives of kids who may be abused in the future.”

Additionally, Rabbi Milstein said it’s “critically important” for parents to walk through their children’s schools to scan for signs of concern—specifically calling for a ban on blocked classroom windows or any other room that allows student and faculty complete privacy, as well as new training and policies in that regard for yeshivos and camps alike.

Rabbi Milstein also called for parents to discuss privacy with their children “at the appropriate time,” as well as to take their kids seriously when they share claims of abuse.  “I’m not advocating blanket believability for the child, but a child not believed by his or her parents has no avenue to share what happened.”

Finally, the rabbi asked the community to pray for abuse victims, and to take action.  “It breaks my heart to see the damage done, how it’s wrecked their lives… How can any cry go unheard?  How can you not have rachmanus?  This is not Yiddishkeit!  If you’re not going to get involved, then at least support organizations that do.”

Hikind then called upon Rabbi Tanenbaum to lead the crowd in the reciting of tehilim, after which he recognized his office staff Eli Schreiber.

“We have a long road ahead of us,” Hikind concluded, “But we are going to make a difference.”

As attendees milled about after the event, a middle-aged woman and her daughter approached one of the speakers.  “I finally feel there is hope,” the mother said, “I think this is just the tip of the iceberg.”


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1

 Mar 02, 2009 at 10:27 AM Anonymous Says:

actully there was already 1 event in brooklyn public library on 17ave. & 60st. about tow weeks ago. why wasn't rabbi nuchem rosenberg there? all the credit belongs to him, he started all this graet things & then all the others follow.

3

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:03 AM Seichel Brosh Says:

Can you acomplish a mission if its held in premises that are a place were these problems are standard. The YMHA is a danger to every teenager attending without supervision. Did any speaker use this place were he is speaking as an example??

4

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:09 AM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #1  
Anonymous Says:

actully there was already 1 event in brooklyn public library on 17ave. & 60st. about tow weeks ago. why wasn't rabbi nuchem rosenberg there? all the credit belongs to him, he started all this graet things & then all the others follow.

No, no credit belongs to Nuchem, all the credit goes to Dov and those who spoke there and are on the forefront of this problem. Yes, Nuchem brought it up, but not for benevolent reasons. A broken clock is also right twice a day, his agenda was to hammer the Rabbonim and the powers to be (on which I agree with him, about the powers to be that is) with whatever he could find. It was no mesiras Nefesh on his part, quite the contrary, pure teiveh. You don’t fight wrong with wrong or in our vernacular two wrongs don’t make a right.

5

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:30 AM Anonymous Says:

this is all great so long as we remember "innocent untill proven guilty" anyone who jumps the gun with accusations prior to a guilty verdict is worse then the abusers themselves.

6

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:27 AM Anonymous Says:

Many people mistake the goal of this event. This was chizuk for the victims – survivors. This event was not for discussion about the cruelty and disgust of the perpetrators. That is why this public program was not political, and this is why there was such community support from all subgroups of the frum community and the array of agencies. The public image of Nochum Rosenberg (I don’t know him and have no personal comment about him) is his vigilance about the molesters themselves. The inaction and cover-ups until now are the forces that leave him enraged, and his public position is to direct this anger towards them. Whether this is warranted or not may be a good debate, but it is definitely not effective in getting the community to support a program that will succeed in improving personal safety for children.

7

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:20 AM BIG JEW Says:

Is It possible that this is a Chillul Hashem? I agree that it is a big problem in the jewish community and it has to be FIXED. Thank you to Reb Dov Hikind for fighting for the klal yisroels rights. HOWEVER why do we need it on national news channels? is this publicity neccesary? Is it posible to do things for the comunity without caring about the press? I think we are better off putting video cameras in classroom and hallways at our childrens schools. The bottom line is: The Jewish Community is better off doing concrete solutions in a private fashion then making a "task force" in a public fashion. Kol hakovod!!!

8

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:58 AM jack Says:

joke no gedolim endorsed this event.....Torah conferences without them is worthless.

9

 Mar 02, 2009 at 11:54 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
Seichel Brosh Says:

Can you acomplish a mission if its held in premises that are a place were these problems are standard. The YMHA is a danger to every teenager attending without supervision. Did any speaker use this place were he is speaking as an example??

dear seichel brosh
before you open your mouth(or blog) use your so called seichel
the y has been in the forefront of keeping its place safe for all
if any name comes up that is at all risky they revoke that persons membership
-as has just been done-
it is not their fault that no one makes them aware of problems

10

 Mar 02, 2009 at 12:42 PM Anonymous Says:

#4youre killing the messenger nuchem rosenberg this much i can tell you if this molestation would of happened to you you wouldnt say this nuchem rosenberg i was molested 50 years ago when i was 10 years old in europe in the mikva by our esttemed respected shohet who was already 62 years old then no one would beleive me if i would of told them at that time i was paralyzed by fear of my elders can you believe the one whom you look up the most does this to you he killed my soul i cant beleive anyone dont trust no one i live in alife of hurt and you attack nuchem shame on you shame on you#4 youre indifferent to the suffering of the innocent

11

 Mar 02, 2009 at 01:50 PM JoshS Says:

From Rabbi Frand's Shiur...

Complaining About The Quality Of The Miracle

The Medrash is troubled by the expression "vaYamru al yam b'yam suf". This appears to be saying something more than the fact that they rebelled at Yam Suf. The redundant mention of the term "sea" (yam) seems to indicate that there were two rebellions at Yam Suf. The first rebellion was marked by the fact that no one wanted to descend into the Reed Sea. It was not until the leader of the tribe of Yehudah led his tribe into the water, triggering the miraculous splitting of the sea, that the other tribes followed into the Yam Suf. The Medrash notes the special role of the tribe of Yehudah at this time in the words of the later psalm "When Israel left Egypt... Yehuda became His sanctified one..." [Tehillim 114:1-2]

Dov among the other esteemed speakers are leading the way...We're not drowning now...We WERE drowning...Now we're saving

12

 Mar 02, 2009 at 12:51 PM Sherree Says:

The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b'shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b'shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of "chilul hashem", yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say "You would believe a "sheigitz" like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say "Dayeinu, ad kan!!" It's enough, it ends here. We didn't create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won't stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won't stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won't stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a "moser" by turning one in only served to "promote" further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

Sherree Belsky
Vice President
Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

13

 Mar 02, 2009 at 12:23 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
Seichel Brosh Says:

Can you acomplish a mission if its held in premises that are a place were these problems are standard. The YMHA is a danger to every teenager attending without supervision. Did any speaker use this place were he is speaking as an example??

dear #3
why would the y open their premises if they condoned any bad behavior
or did nothing to protect the kids

14

 Mar 02, 2009 at 12:15 PM anonomys Says:

great job dov!

15

 Mar 02, 2009 at 02:10 PM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #10  
Anonymous Says:

#4youre killing the messenger nuchem rosenberg this much i can tell you if this molestation would of happened to you you wouldnt say this nuchem rosenberg i was molested 50 years ago when i was 10 years old in europe in the mikva by our esttemed respected shohet who was already 62 years old then no one would beleive me if i would of told them at that time i was paralyzed by fear of my elders can you believe the one whom you look up the most does this to you he killed my soul i cant beleive anyone dont trust no one i live in alife of hurt and you attack nuchem shame on you shame on you#4 youre indifferent to the suffering of the innocent

If I hurt you Nuchem then, I’m sorry. But even though some of the things Nuchem said were correct, it still is “Ein Daas Chachomin Noche Hameno”. What does being molested 50 years ago by a 62 year old menuval have to do with anything? Someone about 70 years old tried molesting me when I was a bochur and I didn’t let him, so therefore what? You want to tell me that there are sick people out there, we know that already, there always was and always will be. Bashing the Rabbonim by Nuchem is what I’m against and that’s why I said what I said. If Nuchem what have come out with a “Morei Veraboisei” we have a problem, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but when he comes out saying that the Rabbonim are in cahoots with the molesters, then sorry you loose me. You not only loose me but it makes me look at what the motivation is for talking, and then we see an agenda here.

16

 Mar 02, 2009 at 02:09 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #10  
Anonymous Says:

#4youre killing the messenger nuchem rosenberg this much i can tell you if this molestation would of happened to you you wouldnt say this nuchem rosenberg i was molested 50 years ago when i was 10 years old in europe in the mikva by our esttemed respected shohet who was already 62 years old then no one would beleive me if i would of told them at that time i was paralyzed by fear of my elders can you believe the one whom you look up the most does this to you he killed my soul i cant beleive anyone dont trust no one i live in alife of hurt and you attack nuchem shame on you shame on you#4 youre indifferent to the suffering of the innocent

To # 10 please don't start posting your persanol storys, or else this comments page will be a confetion site

18

 Mar 02, 2009 at 02:36 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #12  
Sherree Says:

The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b'shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b'shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of "chilul hashem", yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say "You would believe a "sheigitz" like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say "Dayeinu, ad kan!!" It's enough, it ends here. We didn't create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won't stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won't stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won't stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a "moser" by turning one in only served to "promote" further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

Sherree Belsky
Vice President
Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

Two wrongs don't make a right. You still have not explained what beneffit the TV station brings to the cause.
While I salute all those on the forefront of this war against the worst crimes, this still needs to be done in a proper way.
TV coverage of this event does not help the cause in any way! It just makes it look like someone is looking for political popularity and advertisement, which I don't believe is the case. I certainly hope not.
Just because you don't like the word chillul Hashem you still can't justify the advertisement in the press. That will only have bad results towards our community (the good people).

May G-d grant the well meaning individuals the courage, good will and seichel to get the job done RIGHT.
A concerned activist

19

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:08 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #4  
Askupeh Says:

No, no credit belongs to Nuchem, all the credit goes to Dov and those who spoke there and are on the forefront of this problem. Yes, Nuchem brought it up, but not for benevolent reasons. A broken clock is also right twice a day, his agenda was to hammer the Rabbonim and the powers to be (on which I agree with him, about the powers to be that is) with whatever he could find. It was no mesiras Nefesh on his part, quite the contrary, pure teiveh. You don’t fight wrong with wrong or in our vernacular two wrongs don’t make a right.

You comment basicly says "I have a personal issue with Nuchem"

20

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:07 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
Seichel Brosh Says:

Can you acomplish a mission if its held in premises that are a place were these problems are standard. The YMHA is a danger to every teenager attending without supervision. Did any speaker use this place were he is speaking as an example??

This shows you that the hole thing was not LSHEM SHUMAYIM its just peopole that are looking for publicity at any cost

21

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:04 PM Anonymous Says:

Big Chilel Hashem

22

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:01 PM john Says:

Reply to #8  
jack Says:

joke no gedolim endorsed this event.....Torah conferences without them is worthless.

u idiot u need a godol to tell u if u caN FIND peace from pain u guys are in the dark ages goto saudi arabia and ask ure imam what to do we are jews for a reason ure scared the era of blind obediance is over

23

 Mar 02, 2009 at 02:53 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #16  
Anonymous Says:

To # 10 please don't start posting your persanol storys, or else this comments page will be a confetion site

Please stop trying to stifle the victims. They have a right to tell their stories just as you have a right to state your idiotic opinions.

24

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:23 PM Anonymous Says:

You're forgetting about potential new victims. By publicizing the molester's name, you are saving countless other children from being destroyed. Statistics show that child molesters will most likely strike again if they are not exposed and locked up. If he cared about his family, he wouldn't have sexually assaulted an innocent child. Should we allow countless of other children to be exposed to a sexual predator in order to protect his family from shame?

25

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:44 PM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #22  
john Says:

u idiot u need a godol to tell u if u caN FIND peace from pain u guys are in the dark ages goto saudi arabia and ask ure imam what to do we are jews for a reason ure scared the era of blind obediance is over

Who do you mean by "u guys"? You say that the era of blind obedience to the Gedolei Yisroel is over. Please declare yourself, are you a religious Jew? If not then what are you trying to do, teach religious Jews their religion the way you see fit?

26

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:36 PM Anonymous Says:

the chillul hashem ocuurs hen the abusers abuses. not when it is reported.
i am mazed that no meniton is made fo what to do with the predators. rebbeom should not decide if asnus ehas occurred. children should be sent immediatly to professionals. if the professional beleives there had been abuse the professional is obligated to report the suspected abuseer and file a report with child protective services. anusers should b ein jail not working in a warehouse supposedly away from children.

shame on the sponsers and shame on the sham organization.

27

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:25 PM Anonymous Says:

#16 dont tell me what to do youre not the one to decide what will be allowed to be read here and learn how to spell di shoite

28

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:52 PM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #19  
Anonymous Says:

You comment basicly says "I have a personal issue with Nuchem"

I came down a little too hard on Nuchem, and I take back the harshness of my comment; he probably did have some good intentions; but my problem with him is the same as that which the Rabbonim have/had with him. Even if he is totally correct he still has no right to go into a tirade against leaders of the community. I think that as of now he closed his hot line; if so then I don’t have anymore an agenda with him.

29

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:25 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #15  
Askupeh Says:

If I hurt you Nuchem then, I’m sorry. But even though some of the things Nuchem said were correct, it still is “Ein Daas Chachomin Noche Hameno”. What does being molested 50 years ago by a 62 year old menuval have to do with anything? Someone about 70 years old tried molesting me when I was a bochur and I didn’t let him, so therefore what? You want to tell me that there are sick people out there, we know that already, there always was and always will be. Bashing the Rabbonim by Nuchem is what I’m against and that’s why I said what I said. If Nuchem what have come out with a “Morei Veraboisei” we have a problem, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but when he comes out saying that the Rabbonim are in cahoots with the molesters, then sorry you loose me. You not only loose me but it makes me look at what the motivation is for talking, and then we see an agenda here.

First of all, nobody cares to lose you. Second exactly what you say is what Nuchem did; he came out saying “Morei Veraboisei” we have a problem and the Rabbunim tried shutting him up, of course he went all out against them. Besides as you yourself said that we always knew that there was a problem and the Rabbunim were the ones sweeping it under the carpet with the excuse ‘we will deal with it quietly’ certainly he had the right to come out fiercely against them in the first place.
You have some personal issue with Nuchem that’s why “you” only see an agenda

30

 Mar 02, 2009 at 04:07 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #28  
Askupeh Says:

I came down a little too hard on Nuchem, and I take back the harshness of my comment; he probably did have some good intentions; but my problem with him is the same as that which the Rabbonim have/had with him. Even if he is totally correct he still has no right to go into a tirade against leaders of the community. I think that as of now he closed his hot line; if so then I don’t have anymore an agenda with him.

Yes he has. If they are the leaders they are the ones who should be taking on the issue head-on, and if they didn’t Nuchem had the right to take them one for lack of responsibility and more so for hiding the real problem they knew all along. And yes now that the issue was raised and was made common knowledge Nuchem has no need for his hotline: Mission Accomplished

31

 Mar 02, 2009 at 03:59 PM Williamsburg Says:

Reply to #12  
Sherree Says:

The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b'shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b'shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of "chilul hashem", yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say "You would believe a "sheigitz" like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say "Dayeinu, ad kan!!" It's enough, it ends here. We didn't create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won't stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won't stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won't stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a "moser" by turning one in only served to "promote" further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

Sherree Belsky
Vice President
Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

Sherree, whoever you are, I've never read a better, more intelligent post on VIN than this one! Why is it so difficult for people to understand the horrible after effects of molestation on our children into adulthood. Most victims have troublesome marriages, inadverdantly carrying over to produce troubled children and on and on. The ripple effects of childhood molestation creates such a wide circle of misery and destruction of Jewish souls, yet they worry about creating a Chilul Hashem with the media.
The greatest Chilul Hashem is the destruction of a Yiddishe Neshoma, and conversley the greatest Kiddush Hashem would be saving those souls, which is what people like yourself and everyone else involved, including Dov Hikind is trying to do by swimming against the tide of ignorant, close minded naysayers.
Please keep up your good works; there are so many, many you stand behind you and give you our full support!

32

 Mar 02, 2009 at 04:19 PM Elliot Pasik, Esq. Says:

It was a memorable event. Mr. Hikind is doing a good job in educating the community, and paving the way for real change. As everybody acknowledged, its apparent that the old ways no longer work. The times are too dangerous, and there are about 100,000 children attending New York's yeshivas today. A real security system is needed, and as one of the speakers, Dr. Ben Zion Twerski, mentioned, we need to utilize a combination of secular law and Jewish law in defeating the sex abuse problem.

Dr. Asher Lipner was eloquent. The text of his address can be read at www.jewishadvocates.org, where you will also find the Position Paper of our new organization, Jewish Board of Advocates for Children, Inc. We advocate mandatory fingerprinting of all nonpublic school employees, and other child protection laws. Asher, Sherree above, and the undersigned are officers, and we additionally have an Executive Committee and Rabbinical Committee.

33

 Mar 02, 2009 at 04:17 PM Yid? Says:

Reply to #10  
Anonymous Says:

#4youre killing the messenger nuchem rosenberg this much i can tell you if this molestation would of happened to you you wouldnt say this nuchem rosenberg i was molested 50 years ago when i was 10 years old in europe in the mikva by our esttemed respected shohet who was already 62 years old then no one would beleive me if i would of told them at that time i was paralyzed by fear of my elders can you believe the one whom you look up the most does this to you he killed my soul i cant beleive anyone dont trust no one i live in alife of hurt and you attack nuchem shame on you shame on you#4 youre indifferent to the suffering of the innocent

r"ml....im sorry for what you, & many other helig yidden have been through..your mesiras nefesh and kochos that you have and need to overcome your nisyonos are such a chizuk to others.
Klal yisrael!!! help & see your brothers pain (kol dimei achecha tzoakim elay min ho adama)...feel for another yid, & appreciate what you have, & what you haven't been through, Think of what you say before you say it yidden; words can build & they can just as easily destroy.
Hashem wants to see peace among us...not fighting, insulting etc. This includes on vos is neias as well.
Dont ever think you know better than anyone else, its gaava, which hashem hates, & you are also jugding, which is not veohavta lereacha kmocha, bec. we ALL know that in our own situations we dont want to be analyzed microscopically. Shame on vos is neias for letting these rishusdik posts on the internet, they cause just as much a chillul as the stories...

May we be zoche for the light of torah , to permeate our thick "hevel vorik" of golus year 5769, & transform us back into what yidden really are.

-You would never beleive it-

34

 Mar 02, 2009 at 04:48 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #12  
Sherree Says:

The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b'shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b'shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of "chilul hashem", yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say "You would believe a "sheigitz" like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say "Dayeinu, ad kan!!" It's enough, it ends here. We didn't create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won't stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won't stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won't stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a "moser" by turning one in only served to "promote" further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

Sherree Belsky
Vice President
Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

I'm a victim the wound can unfortunately never never be healed!!!

35

 Mar 02, 2009 at 04:36 PM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #29  
Anonymous Says:

First of all, nobody cares to lose you. Second exactly what you say is what Nuchem did; he came out saying “Morei Veraboisei” we have a problem and the Rabbunim tried shutting him up, of course he went all out against them. Besides as you yourself said that we always knew that there was a problem and the Rabbunim were the ones sweeping it under the carpet with the excuse ‘we will deal with it quietly’ certainly he had the right to come out fiercely against them in the first place.
You have some personal issue with Nuchem that’s why “you” only see an agenda

I disagree with you Nuchem ; and so do the Rabbonim who came out against you.

36

 Mar 02, 2009 at 07:16 PM my opinion Says:

I salute nachum because think the rabanim are part of the problem and not the solution they had every opportunity to step in and resolve this atrocity in the community, but they are too busy condemming the event and racketeering their propaganda. fact is that nachum. Was the'' nachshan Ben aminadav''he may not have done exactly the way you would have but he lead the way.give credit were credit is due. He paid a heavy price

37

 Mar 02, 2009 at 07:34 PM Seichel Brosh Says:

Reply to # 9 # 13 # 20
My comment was two fold
1) Gathering should be in a place that can serve as an example
2) If you have no choice at least make people aware of the facts
I am involved in helping such victims and did handle a few cases that occured in the YMHA , the problem is that the facility itself does not have any supervision and many parents are not aware of this, just send their loved children to a so called HEMISHE PLACE, the YMHA must make parents aware that they don't screen memebers and could have known molesters as members, advising parents of the danger.


38

 Mar 03, 2009 at 06:55 AM mark mayer appel Says:

a awsome beginning to address this important issue,,,,,,,,,,,,,,was nice to see rabbi zweibel of aguda there as well perhaps we as a community are waking up kudos to dov,yoni and rabbi tannenbaum am echad- we are one

39

 Mar 03, 2009 at 08:40 AM BIG JEW Says:

Reply to #12  
Sherree Says:

The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b'shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b'shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of "chilul hashem", yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say "You would believe a "sheigitz" like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say "Dayeinu, ad kan!!" It's enough, it ends here. We didn't create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won't stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won't stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won't stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a "moser" by turning one in only served to "promote" further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

Sherree Belsky
Vice President
Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

Mrs. Belsky... well put. Hashem should give you strength and years to help klal yisroel.... Im a big fan of yours. Chazak Ve'amatz

40

 Mar 03, 2009 at 10:43 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #37  
Seichel Brosh Says:

Reply to # 9 # 13 # 20
My comment was two fold
1) Gathering should be in a place that can serve as an example
2) If you have no choice at least make people aware of the facts
I am involved in helping such victims and did handle a few cases that occured in the YMHA , the problem is that the facility itself does not have any supervision and many parents are not aware of this, just send their loved children to a so called HEMISHE PLACE, the YMHA must make parents aware that they don't screen memebers and could have known molesters as members, advising parents of the danger.


dear seichel
you say in your blog "could of known"
and you also say " you are helping such victims"
(which i must compliment you for, if true)
my question to you is
did you EVER go to the faciity- either direrctly or with professionals-
and name names
and if you did what was the outcome
(did they act or did they ignore you and sweep it under the rug?)
THE Y HAS TRAINED ITS STAFF TO LOOK AND PATROL ITS
"HEMISHE PLACE" TO THE BEST OF ITS ABILITY
it is very easy to break things
but harder to build

41

 Mar 03, 2009 at 11:32 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #4  
Askupeh Says:

No, no credit belongs to Nuchem, all the credit goes to Dov and those who spoke there and are on the forefront of this problem. Yes, Nuchem brought it up, but not for benevolent reasons. A broken clock is also right twice a day, his agenda was to hammer the Rabbonim and the powers to be (on which I agree with him, about the powers to be that is) with whatever he could find. It was no mesiras Nefesh on his part, quite the contrary, pure teiveh. You don’t fight wrong with wrong or in our vernacular two wrongs don’t make a right.

No, the first yid to bring this up is UOJ. All credit to him.

42

 Mar 03, 2009 at 10:58 AM Askupeh Says:

Reply to #36  
my opinion Says:

I salute nachum because think the rabanim are part of the problem and not the solution they had every opportunity to step in and resolve this atrocity in the community, but they are too busy condemming the event and racketeering their propaganda. fact is that nachum. Was the'' nachshan Ben aminadav''he may not have done exactly the way you would have but he lead the way.give credit were credit is due. He paid a heavy price

It is nice to solute oneself.

43

 Mar 03, 2009 at 02:03 PM Mr&Mrs AmHaAretz Says:

Child abusers are Amalek. They are evil predators who target the innocent and the weak and vulnerable. May HaKadosh Boruch Hu, please, erase them all.

44

 Mar 03, 2009 at 07:03 PM Steven Says:

Shouldn't some credit be going to the awareness center? Why wasn't anyone at the event representing them? They have been doing this sort of work for years?

45

 Mar 03, 2009 at 07:30 PM Golda Says:

Actually the first yid to be talking about sexual abuse was Marty Cohn Spiegel. She was speaking out about for at least 20 years.

46

 Mar 04, 2009 at 01:31 AM little sheep Says:

Reply to #45  
Golda Says:

Actually the first yid to be talking about sexual abuse was Marty Cohn Spiegel. She was speaking out about for at least 20 years.

if we're arguing who the first yid was to talk about sexual abuse, you can go back to moshe rabbeinu. but if you want to exclude him, as he was "only" giving over God's word, you can go back and search tanach. i never did too well in school, so i can't tell you the exact person, but let's get real. sexual abuse did not start in today's day and age, and we didn't invent speaking about it either.

47

 Mar 04, 2009 at 12:40 AM little sheep Says:

the problem with nuchem rosenberg, is this: if you watch his videos on youtube, you will see that he believes that everything is one giant conspiracy. if you report to the police, they'll tear up the file. if you go to the DA, he's not gonna listen to you. if you ask him, there is no hope other than him, because everyone under the sun is being paid off by the va'ad hatznius.

somehow, that doesn't sound right to me.

and for the record, i'm a survivor. not a victim. and i wish i had known about this event before, not after.

to the commenter who said "no gedolim endorsed this event..." i have to say that i don't think rabbi milstein would have been involved without the consent of rabbanim. he doesn't strike me as one to get involved on a whim.

48

 Mar 04, 2009 at 08:01 AM chana Says:

Dear Dov, Tremendous thanks for presenting this highly sensitive and serious matter up front for all to see by bringing it out to the public. I attended the morning of "Chizuk" it was done in the most tasteful manner. the speakers were examples of individuals of the highest calibre. It was defintely a Kiddush Hashem. It has taken guts to deal with this scary matter. More power to you. Chana Z

49

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