Jerusalem – There is a Jewish religious imperative to return the call of someone who called you and left a message, Rabbi Yisrael Rosen, head of the Zomet Institute and one of the most prominent rabbis of religious Zionism, decreed.
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Not doing so constitutes the same behavior as the students of Rabbi Akiva, who “did not behave with respect toward each other,” a behavior whose biblical punishment was death by the creator (a plague).
In an article for his institution’s weekly, Shabbat b’Shivto (Sabbath in his tribe), to be published Saturday,
Rosen wrote that: “Although this behavior, constant attentiveness, is not a legal requisite, and it is possible to escape from annoying communications, nonetheless, someone who receives a message in an voicemail inbox that instructs others to ‘please leave a message’ must behave respectfully and respond.”
“It is excellent and good manners if he also responds to text messages and e-mails, in which the person leaving a message initiated this action without the receiver willingly having left an open ‘box’, especially if the message contains specific questions or requests,” the rabbi specified.
“Additionally, if one should answer any caller whom he knows personally, even if he did not leave a precise request, he is among the high,” said Rosen, adding that, “those who respond to all messages, anonymous as they may be, is most righteous.
“There is a mitzvah (religious duty) to ‘answer, respond, grant attention,” Rosen wrote, while admitting to and castigating himself for sometimes slipping up in answering all of his messages.
To justify his interpretation, Rabbi Rosen turned to the story of the 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva, who died from a plague because they did not behave respectfully toward each other, despite being great scholars.
“The wise son will ask: ‘What is the deal? So they ‘didn’t behave respectfully.’ They didn’t hurt someone, loot, slander, rob or destroy.’ And the wicked son will add: ‘So what if they didn’t behave respectfully? Where’s your sense of proportionality? And were laws broken? Does impolite behavior warrant the death penalty?” Rosen queried hypothetically before explaining.
According to the rabbi, while in today’s culture not returning a message is not a particularly severe behavior, the punishment remains the same because “sometimes it’s possible to hurt your wife, family, neighbor, colleague or someone else by ignoring them, by not speaking, by turning a blind eye or a deaf ear.”
In conclusion, Rosen noted that, in the age of electronic technology, in which “people don’t spontaneously knock on each other’s doors or have random stairwell conversations with friends,” it is important to improve communication using the technology at hand
This is some of the biggest nareshkeit I have read recently. With all the spam email and junk mail we get, including many messages from ostensibly yiddeshe organizations, where does this rebbe (whom I have never heard of before and is certainly not one of the gedolim by any standard) come off telling us if we don’t respond we risk punishment by hashem in the form of a plague. Maybe the swine flu is the result of too many ehrleche yiddin being too slow in responding to their email.
I hope this doesn’t include those annoying telemarketers that call me 10 times a day trying to sell me some nonsense about my credit history being in jeopardy if I don’t talk to them. Frankly, I think it’s them that are the rude disrespectful ones, they ignore the ‘do not call’ list, they don’t even have a live person make the phone call so you can tell them to stop calling.
Thank you Rabbi Rosen, but this is only a start. We must reinstitute the concept of respect to our community. This holds not only to voice mail messages but to how we treat and speak to our fellow Yidden, especially those who are older. I have seen countless acts of total disrespect by young members of our community towards people in their 60’s & 70’s and this is certainly not permitted. I a m not just referring to teenagers but to young men & women in their 20,s & 30’s. This behaviour must stop if we are to planning to see Mosiach.
Good idea which many are remiss in. This will not get much attention since it is only bein adom l’echavero—-what chumrah can we make from it? The chumrah of the day club is thinking about it!!!!
100% right I’m a fund raiser and I leave messages no one calls me back what a lack of derech eretz
leave a message for this rabbi and see if he personally retrns your call .
Yes, I know that feeling. When someeone tries to help others or offer them something and they just “ignore” you and “snobe” you off. its happens a lot by mothers to duaghters who just got married.
Recently, I contacted a religious Jew about a business matter very important to me. He and I had never spoken before. He gave me his cellphone number and said: “Call me after Pesach.”
Friday morning, Isru Chag, I called. I left a message on his voicemail. No reply all day nor Sunday nor Monday. I called a non-Jewish acquaintance on Tuesday to verify the number (it was correct) and also left a message to have the Yid call me.
He never did.
When he told me before Pesach to call him after the Yom Tov, I thought he meant to call him and he’d speak with me, not to call him and he won’t speak with me.
Most of us understand very well what Rabbi Rosen intends with his admonition.
Kol HaKavod to Rabbi Rosen for leading the Yidden toward true Torah middos and menschlikeit.
To # 10
Do you disagree with the biblical commandments “Mipnay sayva takoom” “Vehadarta pnei zakayn”?
Halevai we should be zoche to come anywhere near reaching the level of the talmidim of Reebi Akiva. But it’s a good thing this honored Rabbi found some important issues to spend his time on (obviously he has too much of it)
Guys, use common sense. I do not believe he intended to tell you you need to call back that telemarketer from Mombai ……
But, it is very frustrating to phone a person, leave a message, and not get that call back. You are left not knowing what to do. You need to speak to him. You already left one message, and you do not wish to harrass someone with multiple messages.
So, you wait. Sometimes you wait too long, and an opportunity is lost.
I am waiting right thing minute for a Realtor to call me back on a property I want to buy. I found it, and the bank is offering it VERY low. But, if I wait too long… in hours, not days… it will be gone. And, the realtor is not calling me back.
Oh, I know, he will call me back after Shabbos and tell me some good reason. But by then it will be too late.
Call people back. This rabbi is not wrong.
Obviously. But you don’t seem to get it. That is not the point here.
The person I wrote about told me to call him back. He could have dismissed my offer right then in the original conversation.
The point is: Be a mensch. (Why is this so hard for people to understand?)
Does disinterest justify rudeness today? (Maybe I have lived too long and just don’t understand the New World Order?)
This Rabbi doesn’t address a more insidious problem in the Heimishe velt, and that is the, “I must hang up now but I’ll call you back in 5 minutes….”
And of course they never do. This is even more serious than the neglected phone message because anyone can use the excuse, “I never got the message…it was deleted by accident!”
The “call back in 5 minutes” excuse is also worse than the other problem the Rabbi describes because it falls under the category of “onaas devarim” and also constitutes an outright lie. Chazal have warned us against the dangers of lying, or training our children to lie, as in “Mommy’s not in right now, call back later.”
These behaviors all influence to shape a person’s character whether the chachamim that responded to this article like it or not.
What about the Chinese Auction recorded calls. Are you required to call them back too? I thought gambling was against halacha? How do these institutions get away with this? How come the gedolim dont ban them? What is this world coming to.
What about Gezailah of the person time? Or Gonev Daas? You are calling him so he assumes you have something thats is important for him to know. THen you ask your shtusin. You just wasted his time. Who says communication is only through words? By his not calling you back, he is TELLING you he is not interested in your pitch. If Korach v’aduso came knocking on your tent to entice you to join them, would you be allowed to not answer the door? Or would you have to listen to their nareshkeit and then ever so politely say you’re not interested. Time is money and people are not Michuyiv to listen to anyone’s pitch. They can also write a letter. Are you michuyiv to open all your junk mail? If you dont maybe you are also lacking in derech eretz? This guy needs to have his head examined.
This is one of the first psakim I’ve heard regarding modern times, that I respect so highly. These things of ignoring people merely because it comes with help of technology, is, in my view, one of the greatest sickneses of the genreration.
Believe me, I’m from the chareidish world, chasidish, and highly tora and halocho initiated. I believe I know what I’m talking about.
My biggest sin is that I use the internet, but I do it with intention only for the good, and for the good of others who are anyway using the internet. (I’d rather not, but in the meantime I am anyway forced to).
Obviously, technology must not be abused, and when it IS, then obviously one need not respond.
But when a friend tries to get through, one must be exceedingly careful about it, as if you saw him face to face. Even many times.
If you have any problem with him (or her), let him or her know, but never ignore (without several clarifications beforehand). If they did not understand correctly, don’t abandon them until they do, and in a way that they are not offended.
I hate to say it but Rabbi Rosen has no clue why the talmidim of rabbi Akiva died, It was there knowledge of torah that was not shared not missing communications, according to the marsha they spoke loshan hora on each other, not because of missing communication, to make such a statement on talmidim of RA is balsphemy.
It is time these rabbium learn a little deeper before making statements.
Why doesn’t this “rabbi” and all of them simply teach the crazy yeden to be kinder and acknowlegde each other, with a small nod, a smile. Mostly in the frum world/ and New York you feel invisible, no one even notices you, unless you got GELT. And the Rabbi’s should be the real example and show they are friendly and kind and look out for the lonely and alone and different. I COULD BE A RABBI—-THE good kind. Rare.