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New York - Program Treats Eating Disorders in Observant Women

Published on:   May 17, 2009 11:13 AM
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In Treatment: Nutritionist Michelle Gursky, left, works with Rachel Nathanson on addressing an eating disorder within an Orthodox Jewish lifestyle.In Treatment: Nutritionist Michelle Gursky, left, works with Rachel Nathanson on addressing an eating disorder within an Orthodox Jewish lifestyle.

New York - Just before sundown on a Friday evening, Rachel Nathanson turned on a lamp in her living room and recited the prayer traditionally said upon kindling Sabbath candles. Then she said the blessing over the wine, allowing herself a single sip of grape juice. She purposely skipped the blessing over the challah — “I don’t trust myself with all that bread,” she explained. She then proceeded to eat a fish filet, a small portion of applesauce and a handful of graham crackers: a menu planned days earlier.

It has been years since Nathanson, a 26-year-old geriatric social worker in New York, has felt comfortable at the communal Sabbath meals common among her peer group. She can’t stand not knowing in advance what will be served, and she can’t stand the thought of others watching her eat.

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In 2005, Nathanson was diagnosed with the eating disorder bulimia nervosa, characterized by binging and purging, and with EDNOS — an acronym for “eating disorders not otherwise specified.” Her illness has also included instances of cutting and burning her own skin, which is why she avoids lighting candles.

Since her diagnosis, Nathanson has sought help at the Philadelphia and New York locations of the Renfrew Center, a for-profit network of eating-disorder clinics, which this spring launched a pioneering treatment track for observant Jewish women. In addition to a kosher meal plan, the program will address the unique stressors in the Orthodox world — for example, the anxieties that can accompany Sabbath and holiday meals and traditional Jewish matchmaking, or shidduchim. Clinicians are trained to be sensitive to such issues.

The introduction of Renfrew’s new track comes amid a burgeoning movement in the Orthodox community to increase awareness of eating disorders. In recent months, the Orthodox Union has come out with a short documentary on the subject, “Hungry to be Heard,” and has joined forces with Renfrew to organize Food, Body Image, and Eating Disorders in the Jewish Community — a daylong professional conference to be held June 7 at the Ramaz Middle School in New York. In addition, a team of researchers recently has begun to adapt for yeshiva day schools an eating-disorder prevention curriculum. And a support group for observant Jewish women with eating disorders formed in early May on Manhattan’s Upper West Side.

“Different organizations have put eating disorders on their priority list, and a certain momentum has built up over time,” said Manhattan psychologist and eating-disorder specialist Esther Altmann, referring to the new initiatives targeted at preventing and treating eating disorders among religious Jews, mostly teenage girls and young women.

As a senior consultant to the Renfrew Center, Altmann helped develop the new program, which she called “a response to the increased awareness in the observant community that women with eating disorders require immediate professional intervention.”

In recent weeks, Renfrew inaugurated the track at its residential treatment facilities in Philadelphia and Coconut Creek, Fla., and at its non-residential program in New York City — with plans to extend it to any or all of its six other treatment facilities if there is demand. Over the years, Renfrew has launched other special programs for eating-disorder patients who abuse drugs and alcohol, those who have experienced physical and sexual abuse and those over the age of 30.

Since Renfrew opened its first facility 24 years ago in Philadelphia, the center has had observant Jewish patients. Up until now, they have attended sessions alongside a heterogeneous group of women. “When we would have an observant woman in the group, half of the session would be taken up explaining what a shidduch is, or answering questions like, ‘What do you mean that you don’t have sex before you get married?’” said Cindy Shore, Renfrew’s assistant vice president of Northeast operations.

She said the idea for the track for observant Jewish women grew out of conversations she had with staffers at Relief Resources, a Brooklyn-based mental-health referral service that caters to religious Jews.

The therapeutic approach is not all that different from the general treatment program, or that of the other specialized tracks, Shore said. “What’s different is that you don’t have to spend time explaining what lashon hara” — the Jewish prohibition against gossip — “is, so it allows us to focus on the issues, rather than focus on the differences.”

Indeed, Nathanson, the social worker who struggles with bulimia, said frequent misunderstandings about her Orthodox lifestyle can leave her feeling out of place during group therapy sessions. “The other women will ask me why I don’t rebel,” she said. “Sometimes I think they think I’m from Mars.”

Judith Ruskay Rabinor, a Manhattan- and Long Island-based psychologist who is not affiliated with Renfrew, said that in addition to easing the group-therapy dynamic, the new track has the potential to unmask the ways in which “Jewish rituals can feed into the eating-disorder dynamic.” Rabinor, author of the 2002 book “A Starving Madness: Tales of Hunger, Hope and Healing in Psychotherapy” (Gruze Books), cited as examples fast days and binging on the Sabbath.

Hilary Yohlin, 27, who suffered from symptoms of anorexia for more than a decade before she was hospitalized briefly at Renfrew’s Philadelphia facility five years ago, said she wishes the track had been available when she was undergoing intensive treatment for her eating disorder. Yohlin, an observant Conservative Jew, said that while Renfrew taught her to replace disordered behaviors with much healthier behaviors, the program didn’t take into account issues regarding Jewish fast days and the social pressures surrounding holiday meals.

“I never learned how to integrate a healthy lifestyle with a Jewish lifestyle, so there was this huge gaping hole,” she said.

Jerusalem-based writer Ilana Kurshan, a contributor to the anthology “Going Hungry: Writers on Desire, Self-Denial, and Overcoming Anorexia” (Anchor, 2008), said that if there was such a track at the Long Island facility where she was hospitalized for anorexia about a decade ago, it might have been easier to keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. But she also wondered if being treated alongside so many other religious women would have made the problem worse.

“Anorexia is an extremely competitive disease — you don’t want to be thinner, you want to be the thinnest — and it’s easier to be competitive with people who are more like you,” she said.

Renfrew officials will discuss the new program at the June 7 eating-disorders conference. The event will feature keynote addresses by Altmann and by Rabbi Abraham Twerski, a psychiatrist who has written and spoken extensively about eating disorders, and about the communal pressures to be thin among young Orthodox women — especially those in search of a shidduch. Both Altmann and Twerski are featured in “Hungry to be Heard,” which will be screened at the conference.

The documentary was the brainchild of Elisheva Diamond, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology and a member of the Orthodox Union’s Young Leadership Cabinet. “I wanted to create a film that is sensitive to the issues in the Orthodox community, and have community members take part in it,” she said. “Usually, people are looking to distance themselves from issues of mental health — and it’s much easier to do that when people suffering from them don’t look or seem like you.”

Diamond is also working with a colleague to adapt Harvard Medical School psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair’s trans-denominational Jewish eating-disorder prevention curriculum for Orthodox yeshivas.

Diamond said that fostering communal awareness will protect more people from the anguish of eating disorders.

Nathanson, who has experienced that anguish first-hand, is hopeful that continued one-on-one and group therapy, alongside nutritional counseling, will help her ongoing recovery. She says she now looks forward to attending communal Sabbath dinners — without fear or shame.

“Those meals are such a part of Judaism, and I don’t resent that,” she said. “I just resent my eating disorder because it makes it so hard for me to be a part of that.”


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Read Comments (29)  —  Post Yours »

1

 May 17, 2009 at 10:35 AM Anonymous Says:

Does Any One Know How I Can Get Hold Of The Documentry Hungry To Be Heard ? Someone In My Family Is anorexic. . .

2

 May 17, 2009 at 11:01 AM Anonymous Says:

So many girls have eating disorders now and I blame the Yeshivas. Somehow boys all think that their Bashert needs to be a size two or below. The Rabbanim need to tell their students that they need to see everyone for who they are, not what size they wear or if their parent's Shabbat table has a plastic tablecloth on it.

3

 May 17, 2009 at 10:51 AM Anonymous Says:

http://www.google.com/search?q=Hungry+To+Be+Heard&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

4

 May 17, 2009 at 11:31 AM Anonymous Says:

It was very courageous and generous for this young woman to tell her story. I commend her for doing so.

5

 May 17, 2009 at 11:34 AM you are ignorant Says:

Reply to #2  
Anonymous Says:

So many girls have eating disorders now and I blame the Yeshivas. Somehow boys all think that their Bashert needs to be a size two or below. The Rabbanim need to tell their students that they need to see everyone for who they are, not what size they wear or if their parent's Shabbat table has a plastic tablecloth on it.

My friend, this has nothing to do with yes hivas- it has to do with many types of traum a these girls have suffered- if they were screamed at- had low self esteem, picked last in gym class, babied by a parent- this bulimia becomes an area in their life where they feel control and feel on top of things- many bulimic girls are not in fact skinny- it is a disease just like cancer- not the yeshivas fault- the Anorexia adisorder has more to do with body image - however there is an abundance of informatin out there for you to review prior to exclaiming- the yeshivas are at fault- stop blaming others in general- you will be a happier person. I promise.

6

 May 17, 2009 at 11:48 AM Anonymous Says:

Very important work is being done here but this problem is not different for frum yiddeshe women than goisheshe women or jewish women in the suburbs....same issues and same treatment for all

7

 May 17, 2009 at 11:39 AM Anonymous Says:

Judaism separates the genders and it is surprising that girls would be anorexia. The separation of genders should contribute to preventing Anorexia from occurring because girls do not have to worry about what guys think because there is no association until shidduch dating in the yeshivish and chasidish communities.

8

 May 17, 2009 at 12:20 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #5  
you are ignorant Says:

My friend, this has nothing to do with yes hivas- it has to do with many types of traum a these girls have suffered- if they were screamed at- had low self esteem, picked last in gym class, babied by a parent- this bulimia becomes an area in their life where they feel control and feel on top of things- many bulimic girls are not in fact skinny- it is a disease just like cancer- not the yeshivas fault- the Anorexia adisorder has more to do with body image - however there is an abundance of informatin out there for you to review prior to exclaiming- the yeshivas are at fault- stop blaming others in general- you will be a happier person. I promise.

It's a very complex disorder and not due to a parent's babying. The true cause is not really known, however, low self-esteem may be both a cause and a result of the disorder. That does not, however, mean that there isn't also a separate problem with people too focused on a girl's dress size, which certainly doesn't help things.

9

 May 17, 2009 at 12:25 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #7  
Anonymous Says:

Judaism separates the genders and it is surprising that girls would be anorexia. The separation of genders should contribute to preventing Anorexia from occurring because girls do not have to worry about what guys think because there is no association until shidduch dating in the yeshivish and chasidish communities.

Body image is not about sex or whether or not girls are separate from boys. Even girls want to look good for other girls and for themselves. Unforunately, in the case of anorexia, the self-image becomes completely distorted and food (or avoiding or limiting it) is an obsession or compulsion.

I also note that separating girls from boys does nothing to help girls not worry about their looks when girls are taught that they are doomed if they don't manage to marry by age 20 (give or take a few years) and that the only real role in the community for a girl is as a wife and mother and we must pity those lonely 25 year year old spinsters.

10

 May 17, 2009 at 01:31 PM Anonymous Says:

To #1 Hungry To Be Heard can be seen on Google. It is in 2 parts. The first part is over one hour and the second part is over two hours. You really need to have the time to watch this. Good luck!!

11

 May 17, 2009 at 01:03 PM i hear your point Says:

Reply to #8  
Anonymous Says:

It's a very complex disorder and not due to a parent's babying. The true cause is not really known, however, low self-esteem may be both a cause and a result of the disorder. That does not, however, mean that there isn't also a separate problem with people too focused on a girl's dress size, which certainly doesn't help things.

I did not say solely due to parent babying. Could be a reason though. All parents need to give their children a semblance of control. It can in some instances boil down to parenting. Parents Beware!

12

 May 17, 2009 at 01:40 PM Anonymous Says:

Many women develop eating disorders since they have a female relative who is very overweight, and have a great fear of becoming that heavy. The emphasis needs to be placed on healthy eating and exercise. The traditional frum Jewish diet consists of plenty of high fat meat. There is also a focus on eating cakes and cookies on shabbat and yom tov. Imo the frum community needs to learn to limit their meat intake, eat more salad and vegetables, avoid fried food, and eliminate cakes, cookies, chocolate, and ice cream. Fruit should be served for dessert.

13

 May 17, 2009 at 02:14 PM Anonymous Says:

The problem is NOT the Yeshivas. The problem is the peer pressure from friends and classmates who are thin and the style clothing one buys 2day is made solely for the thin size 2-4. i'm larger than a 10 and find't hard to buy clothing. there is also pressure form many boys parents who don't wan't a larger than size 6 daughter in law. as a shadchan i've dealt with many such cases.

14

 May 17, 2009 at 02:10 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #11  
i hear your point Says:

I did not say solely due to parent babying. Could be a reason though. All parents need to give their children a semblance of control. It can in some instances boil down to parenting. Parents Beware!

While undoubtedly bad parenting can create or exacerbate psychological problems, I think people should be very cautious before blaming parents or creating unnecessary guilt and shame. At one time schizophrenia was blamed on the mother and now it is known that is not true. Similarly, autism used to be blamed on a cold mother. Although the causes of autism and schizophrenia are not known, it is clear that there is no evidence that it is the mother's fault.

15

 May 17, 2009 at 03:59 PM Anonymous Says:

does anyone have a different link with the whole video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk1cDOCM0Xk

16

 May 17, 2009 at 03:52 PM Anonymous Says:

"Hungry to be Heard" cannot currently be viewed online. a clip of the first 3 minutes can be seen on the OU website. Contact the OU to get the full film...it is 45 minutes long.

17

 May 17, 2009 at 03:44 PM Anonymous Says:

Eating disorders are not the parents' fault or the yeshivas' fault- the 2 favorite scapegoats for all the ills that befall our society. It is encouraging to hear that there are serious proffessionals helping women address these issues. As someone who is involved in trying to make shidduchim I must add that I find it extremely disheartening that it is almost impossible to get a young man to date a girl who is even slightly overweight, no matter what other excellent qualities she may possess. The role this plays in young women developing eating disorders is a subject for discussion. Even though this may not actually cause eating disorders, it certainly leads to a lot of unnecessary pain and grief. The fact that mothers and young men who speak to me are so unashamed and matter of fact about the fact that they will not even consider a girl who is not model thin says a lot about our society, none of it complimentary.

18

 May 17, 2009 at 04:41 PM Anonymous Says:

ive had bulimia for 12years. Where can i get help from.

19

 May 17, 2009 at 06:43 PM Anonymous Says:

I would like to know if there's a group for women in their 40s or 50s who are not bulimic or anorexic but have a full fledged overeating disorder.

20

 May 17, 2009 at 06:06 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #18  
Anonymous Says:

ive had bulimia for 12years. Where can i get help from.

call the yitty leibel hotline or eitzah or go to counterforce, but please please get help! if your willing call echo and get a referral to a psychologist. Find someone who can help you find the right kind of help.

21

 May 17, 2009 at 08:26 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #7  
Anonymous Says:

Judaism separates the genders and it is surprising that girls would be anorexia. The separation of genders should contribute to preventing Anorexia from occurring because girls do not have to worry about what guys think because there is no association until shidduch dating in the yeshivish and chasidish communities.

Everything in our society points to being thin. Girls notice other girls bodies and notice if someone is fatter or skinnier than them.

22

 May 17, 2009 at 08:40 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #7  
Anonymous Says:

Judaism separates the genders and it is surprising that girls would be anorexia. The separation of genders should contribute to preventing Anorexia from occurring because girls do not have to worry about what guys think because there is no association until shidduch dating in the yeshivish and chasidish communities.

Anorexia has little or nothing to do with what guys think.
Boys, too, can get this problem, although at a much lower rate.

23

 May 17, 2009 at 09:20 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #19  
Anonymous Says:

I would like to know if there's a group for women in their 40s or 50s who are not bulimic or anorexic but have a full fledged overeating disorder.

Overeaters Anonymous is a program for what they call compulsive overeating. It is a 12 Step Program in the same tradition as Alcoholics Anonymous except the "addiction" is to certain kinds of food, with inability to control the amounts eaten And it is FREE. There are OA meetings all over, as well as online meetings and phone meetings. All you have to do is show up to a meeting and listen. Take it a day at a time.

24

 May 17, 2009 at 09:26 PM E Diamond Says:

Reply to #1  
Anonymous Says:

Does Any One Know How I Can Get Hold Of The Documentry Hungry To Be Heard ? Someone In My Family Is anorexic. . .

Copies of Hungry to be Heard can be obtained by emailing the OU at frank@ou.org
In response to the person looking for treatment for bulimia I would recommend calling RELIEF (http://www.reliefhelp.org/disorders1_eating.htm) as they have an eating disorder referral specialist. Additionally, for those who are concerned about the financing treatment Columbia offers many excellent heavily subsidized treatment options (http://cumc.columbia.edu/dept/eatingdisorders/).
Other questions, including information on the UWS peer led support group can be directed to hungrytobeheard@gmail.com.
Elisheva Diamond
Executive Producer, Hungry to be Heard

25

 May 17, 2009 at 09:43 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #23  
Anonymous Says:

Overeaters Anonymous is a program for what they call compulsive overeating. It is a 12 Step Program in the same tradition as Alcoholics Anonymous except the "addiction" is to certain kinds of food, with inability to control the amounts eaten And it is FREE. There are OA meetings all over, as well as online meetings and phone meetings. All you have to do is show up to a meeting and listen. Take it a day at a time.

Many peopel in OA have recovered from anorexia and bulemia as well. Meetings can be found by going online. There are some meetings that have an emphasis on anorexia, bulemia and compulsive exercising, but the program works for all of these issues, in addition to compulsive overeating.

26

 May 18, 2009 at 12:39 PM Anonymous Says:

Be careful of Overeaters Anonymous. For some people it is fine, but for others it can become dangerously cult-like. In some cases the forced sub-culture of OA takes over the lives of participants with the result of alienating family members and friends. OA can also be very attractive to emotionally vulnerable people (usually women) and can convince them of the need to control their lives to the extent that it causes major Shalom Bayit problems. See, for example, http://www.aadeprogramming.org/reclaim/oa.html.

27

 May 18, 2009 at 01:24 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #1  
Anonymous Says:

Does Any One Know How I Can Get Hold Of The Documentry Hungry To Be Heard ? Someone In My Family Is anorexic. . .

call the agudah or the BJE and they will direct you. mostschools can get free copies as ours did and all they ask is that there be a professional available for a group discussion. This can be a frum health teacher and not just a psychotherapist

28

 May 18, 2009 at 01:41 PM Anonymous Says:

There is also a form of athletic anorexia where the athlete is typically starting a more rigorous set of classes (both in ability and in time committment). Their minds are on their health, so they are eating healthy; they're gaining in competency and may miss meals due to a strenruos schedule also compounded with an higher energy output. My daughter fell into this category. Now, in hindsight, (for both of us) the symptoms were very clear. During the time it was happening, we only saw the symptoms individually, not grouping them together. And the busy schedule was hard to interrupt. When diagnosed, her response was surprise and her attitude: Just tell her what to eat and she would. And she has. The problem came in that a.) they wanted to put her in an inhospital program that b.) served treif food. They totally did not get that this could surely MAKE a problem. There was no assistance in building a cultural bridge - all very frustrating. I think part of the cultural misunderstanding that also led to this was that they couldn't imagine this cute gymnast wasn't trying to look thin for boys. (we're very observant -that is so not an issue) Yasher Koach on making a program that gets it. Now we just need a branch in Minnesota!

29

 May 18, 2009 at 03:25 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #19  
Anonymous Says:

I would like to know if there's a group for women in their 40s or 50s who are not bulimic or anorexic but have a full fledged overeating disorder.

overeaters anonymous has groups all over. Some are women only, some are even just for frum(Orthodox Jewish) women, many of which are in their 40s and 50s. OA is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. the web site is overeatersanonymous.org.

30

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