Jerusalem – The Gerrer Rebbe, R’ Yaakov Aryeh Alter shlita, met today with the Rabbonim of Machon Puah (the Puah Institute) in the Rebbe’s offices in Yerushalaim.
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The Rebbe listened closely while Rav Menachem Bustein, Head of Machon Puah, spoke about his personal connection to the Imeri Emes and how it was the advice of the Imeri Emes that saved his family in Europe.
After Rav Burstein explained Puah’s work in counseling couples and supervising fertility treatments, the Rebbe gave his brocha both to the Puah Institute and to each of the rabbonim.
The Rebbe spoke of how he feels that the convenience of modern life expresses itself with people looking for easy and immediate solutions. He said that there are couples feeling pressured about having children and running to have fertility treatments too soon. The Rebbe said that while each situation should be brought to a Rav familiar with both the topic and the couple, as a rule couples should not worry about fertility challenges during their first year of marriage.
Not that he needs my approval but hes 100% right
Most clinics will not even accept newly married couples in the first year of trying to have children through IVF so I’m not sure what the heilege rav is worried about. Where is it written that the kalah must get pregnant at the chassanah or no later than the end of sheva barochos. Let them live together and learn about each other before the pressure of having children from the machatonim.
The Rebbe is 1 million% correct!! People freak out when tehir children don’t get pregnant from the night of the chasuna or the 1st 2-3 months. the pressure is terrible, and makes them nervous, which causes them to be more nervous and not get pregnant.
It’s good to take the pressure off. However, if the couple is older, particularly if the woman is over 35, they may wish to see a physician after six months of trying.
Why is this news? It is basic, common knowledge to give oneself at least a year to try to conceive before starting to suspect problems.
a rebbe mit seichel
DUH!. big chiddish here . maybve he should come out with a statment that shana reshona couples should treat each other with respect
I’m soooo happy that someone is speaking up about this.
This is a crazy thing that people feel pressured to have a baby. As is well known, that puts an extra stress on the body…
There is nothing wrong with you if you can’t have a baby 10 months after you get married.
Why is this news? It is basic, common knowledge to give oneself at least a year to try to conceive before starting to suspect problems.
so he’s doomed either way
if he says nothing then people will complain why the Rabonnim don’t say anything
if he does then whats it to him a Chiddush.
Even a year sounds too little to me. too much pressure out there I think. let these new couple just get to know each a little before getting all that pressure.
The next thing you will hear is that the Gerrer are giving heterim for planning IVF treatments prior to the chassanah so the couple can get a “running start” on being mekayem the mitzvah of paru u”ravu…Please, even among chassideshe couples, we need to slow down this rush to push out as many yinglach as quickly as possible without regard to the emotional or financial implications for the family.
Whoow a rebb e with saichel-Poeple are not even embarresd to repeat this, and this is posted as news, now we know y we have leades, as if there arn’t enough serios problems we need to deal with, once in two years this rebbe speaks out, and this is his big chuchme for this year, how stupid.
Has the world gone crazy,this is what the gerrer rebbe has to say,what evevry teenager knows, shame on you, a rebbe with 1000’s of followers that never confronts any issues and now he has what to sell – what my 14 year old knows
y not wait 2 years? what’s the blasted hurry???????
It depends how old the woman is. If a woman is 43 or 44 and wants a child, she can’t afford to waste a year waiting to see if she will get pregnant naturally. If the woman is 21, she can afford to wait a few years before trying fertility treatments.
Does Israel have a limit on the number of embryos that can be implanted at a time? I believe Italy has a limit of 3. Remember what happened to Nadia Suleman when she had 6 embryos implanted(that resulted in 8 children, since there were 2 sets of identical twins).
You people are all jumping down his throat. This was not his statement of the year. This was simply a remark that he made at a meeting with those who work in the field. He was not saying that this was earth shattering news. Is he not allowed to speak unless he has something astounding to impress everyone with? HE didnt ask for it to be posted on vosizneias!
I commend the Rebbe. It’s not that it’s not common medical knowledge. I remember doing ovulation testing a few months after my chasunah. Now I know that I should have taken it easy, but couples need to KNOW to relax, even if doctors won’t do anything this early.
I went to the modzitzer rebbe when he was in america and asked him for a brochah for a child. He asked me how long am I married? I told him a year. He laughed, told me to relax and not to worry a bit before two years. I had no known issues. I now have a beautiful daughter born after two years of marriage.
There are Rebbes that don’t let till 5 years. of course were talking 18 y/o
I don’t understand why treatment at all we have kupat haeir,rebbes,gedolim & mekubalim that can make mofsim so why waste time & money on shtisim
How can anyone say this!!?? I am married 4 a year and a half and my Rov told us to go and Baruch Hashem 4 that!! It will still be some time till we can have children I”YH. But if we did not go now it could have taken years!! HOW CAN ANYONE TALK WHEN THEY DONT KNOW HOW MUCH ME AND MY WIFE SUFFER??? WHEN YOU ARE IN MY SHOES THEN TALK!!!!!
I heard in the name of one of the gedolim, that for the first THREE years not to be concerned about not becoming pregnant. BTW, I was born after my parents were married for 3 years. Can we stop the peer pressure please. Ladies- you are not machines.
to all of you making nastey remarks about the gerrer rebba shlita be careful you are playing with fire
The Rebbi did not ask that his advice be placed in the headlines with caption in italics, he was just making a simple observation during a visit, your criticism should be directed towards VIN, but I think all the complainers are just looking for additional outlets to attack rabbanim & there’s no stopping them whatever you do…
i was born after my parents were married for 6 years, they were very happy and thankful for the healthy birth, my 2 older brothers and sister were happy too
It took us five years to get pregnant with our first child and we B”H didn’t have to go through IVF (just a minor problem B”H). We were actually enjoying getting to know each others and having fun and of course we we’re seeing doctors at the same time. Thank God we didn’t let it take over our life because now after three kids we always reminisce about our fun-filled carefree days.
It was the parents and in-laws that were stressing us out about this more than we were.
So to all those couples…..enjoy your time together. Get to know each others well. Take a lot of mini vacations. You’ll get pregnant when you least expect it to happen and don’t let the peer pressure get to you.
Fertility treatments come at an increased cancer risk for the woman, which would be even a greater reason to – at the very least – push it off for as long as possible.
Everyone could keep trying ger rebbe is obvioslyy right and if u need even 2 or 3 years don’t b to nervous
I have 2 friends that went to the gadol hador for a bracha for children. He said to both of them, “You’re not even married 3 years and you’re running around for brachos already.”
It took us five years to get pregnant with our first child and we B”H didn’t have to go through IVF (just a minor problem B”H). We were actually enjoying getting to know each others and having fun and of course we we’re seeing doctors at the same time. Thank God we didn’t let it take over our life because now after three kids we always reminisce about our fun-filled carefree days.
It was the parents and in-laws that were stressing us out about this more than we were.
So to all those couples…..enjoy your time together. Get to know each others well. Take a lot of mini vacations. You’ll get pregnant when you least expect it to happen and don’t let the peer pressure get to you.
#44 really, since when are finances and emotions related to young chassans and kallahs having children. All the rebbis tell them to get married. Are they having a trial run at marriage. NO, they are supposed to have children. I myself have been to fertiltiy specialist, and feel sickened seeing so many chadishe “girls” there.
It is of utmost importance that the couple have a rov that they could talk to about these inyanim and that parents as good intentioned as they are should stay out of it.
Considering this is a matter of tznios, I will try and talk in a way that ha’mayvin yovin but as much as we “think” we know about those issues, the truth is we know nothing. There is no “textbook” to follow by yiddin in these inyonim and the choson kalla need time “to figure it out.”
We didnt have kids for a few years and during most of that time we were having question thrown at us if everything was ok. They meant well of course but what couldnt be said was that the rov for good reason said “not yet” to getting pregnant. Once everything was worked out, things BH BH BH happened almost right away.
Bottom line is that EVERYONE MUST FOLLOW THEIR POSEK and have one that they could talk to in these inyanim.
Someone went to his Rebbe three months after marriage begging for a Brocho for children, so the Rebbe asked whats the panic, he replied he is very nervous as childlessness runs in his family and even his mother never had any children. So how were you born asked the surprised Rebbe? Oh, I was born from my fathers first wife! came the reply
The Puah Institute should be commended for reaching out to the leader of the Ger community. Kol ha’kavod!
jokes aside.. Waiting a year or 2 before having your first child is great, but the worry of ‘maybe there’s something wrong..’ is what ruins it. If you knew that you would have a baby after 2 years you would enjoy the time before..