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Antwerp - Satmar Dayan Releases Sefer That Tackles Head-on the Social Maladies of Contemporary Times |
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Rav Weiss with prominent Israeli Lawyer Mordecai Tzivin on a trip to help the 3 arrested teens in Japan
The Sefer is titled, “Leshmiras HaGif vehaNefesh.” And it is one of the first books in the Chareidi community to tackle head-on the social maladies of contemporary times. It deals with such issues as drug abuse, cigarette smoking, the prohibition of gazing upon women, reading newspapers, as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice.
The author, Rav Weiss, has a sterling reputation in Antwerp and, indeed, among the world Satmar community, for wisdom, erudition, and saintliness. The book has an approbation from Rav Shmuel Vosner, one of the leading halachists of the generation.
The author lists thirteen essential principles of safety – both from a physical as well as a spiritual perspective. The book discusses the danger, the underlying prohibitions and provides strageties and
methodologies as to how to avoid involvement and addictions to such things.
“It is wonderful that a leading Rabbi in the Chareidi community has bravely spoken out on these issues,” remarked a New York based educator. “The need to address contemporary issues and to provide strategies and advice cannot be over-emphasized.”
The book, also discusses the issue of attraction to the nationalist movement in Eretz Yisroel. Often people visit Eretz Yisroel and are amazed by the buildings, the seemingly ubiquitous synagogues and
Yeshivos, and those that risk their lives so that all this could flourish and exist. The book discusses the possibility that one might even look at these developments as heroic accomplishments. The book
provides strategies as to how to avoid becoming enamoured of these things and to be able to maintain one’s philosophical perspective.
Rav Weiss deals not just with the Torah scholar, but with the needs of average men, women and children.
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Read Comments (57) — Post Yours »
1
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:21 PM Anonymous Says:
When will the English Artscroll edition be released?
2
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:16 PM Anonymous Says:
This book is a great idea. Excellent.
3
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:15 PM UBET Says:
Id love for someone to write that book in english.
4
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:28 PM Anonymous Says:
A book on sinas chinom? """" The book, also discusses the issue of attraction to the nationalist movement in Eretz Yisroel. Often people visit Eretz Yisroel and are amazed by the buildings, the seemingly ubiquitous synagogues and
Yeshivos, and those that risk their lives so that all this could flourish and exist. The book discusses the possibility that one might even look at these developments as heroic accomplishments. """"
5
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:27 PM mod Says:
"as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain?
6
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:26 PM Yeshivish Says:
I have heard nothing but wonderful things about Rav Chaim Dovid Yoseph Weiss, and can't wait to read and learn this sefer.
7
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:25 PM Anonymous Says:
"The book deals with such issues as drug abuse, cigarette smoking, the prohibition of gazing upon women, reading newspapers, as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
If a sefer by a prominent Satmer scholar is dealing with these issues in and open and candid way than this is really great progress and the English verison will certainly have much interest among all yidden, whether Satmer or otherwise. thank you vin for alerting us to this new book.
8
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:36 PM Anonymous Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
You can't use that "M" word on VIN - but use your imagination.
9
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:34 PM Anonymous Says:
Forget about the English translation, where does one purchase the original version??
10
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:33 PM Yeshivish Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
Do you really need it spelled out for you?
11
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:42 PM JB Says:
That peice on EY is there i saw it (what do you expect, he is a Satmerer Chusid) andno need foe ArtScroll, the Dayen speaks an impecable English
12
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:40 PM Moish Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
Getting excited about cars
13
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:54 PM Chaim P. Utz Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
motzi zera levatala
14
Jun 11, 2009 at 04:09 PM Anonymous Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
One that has relationships with his wife that is an Akorro or elderly or pregnant or Shloh Kdarkoh.
15
Jun 11, 2009 at 04:14 PM KidFromWilly Says:
what language is it written in?
16
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:45 PM Aryeh Says:
Yesher Koach Rabbi! We need more like you!
17
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:35 PM Jew in Florida Says:
“ A book on sinas chinom? """" The book, also discusses the issue of attraction to the nationalist movement in Eretz Yisroel. Often people visit Eretz Yisroel and are amazed by the buildings, the seemingly ubiquitous synagogues and
Yeshivos, and those that risk their lives so that all this could flourish and exist. The book discusses the possibility that one might even look at these developments as heroic accomplishments. """" ”
You must be kidding. You could not find one cell of sinas chinam in Rav Chaim Dovid Yoseph Weis. He is a true Ohev Yisroel.
18
Jun 11, 2009 at 03:29 PM satmar all the way Says:
"The book, also discusses the issue of attraction to the nationalist movement in Eretz Yisroel. Often people visit Eretz Yisroel and are amazed by the buildings, the seemingly ubiquitous synagogues and Yeshivos, and those that risk their lives so that all this could flourish and exist. The book discusses the possibility that one might even look at these developments as heroic accomplishments. The book
provides strategies as to how to avoid becoming enamoured of these things and to be able to maintain one’s philosophical perspective"".
Can NOT publish a sefer or receive an approbation in the world of Satmar without a few digs at the Religious Zionist community. If you want to write a best seller you get to supply the dirt and danger of zionism, sort of surprise that certain brand of cigarettes sold in Israel are not sacked since the cigarette cartons are blue and dangerous white.
19
Jun 11, 2009 at 04:53 PM Anonymous Says:
“ what language is it written in? ”
Yiddish and Hebrew.
20
Jun 11, 2009 at 05:43 PM Milhouse Says:
“ One that has relationships with his wife that is an Akorro or elderly or pregnant or Shloh Kdarkoh. ”
Um, no, that's a mitzvah, not an avera.
21
Jun 11, 2009 at 05:45 PM Milhouse Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
No. That was already too much description; in my opinion VIN should simply have stuck to the standard euphemisms: "youthful sins", "the well-known sin", "keeping the covenant", etc.
22
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:51 PM Derech Eretz Says:
Milhaus/Mark Levin: Shelo kdarka is a mitzva? Which one?
23
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:43 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Um, no, that's a mitzvah, not an avera. ”
Millhousen; hopefully you are joking or being sarcastic but even so, your comment is a bit perverted...having a physical relationships with an Akorro or elderly or pregnant worman is a big avera and morally repugant.
24
Jun 11, 2009 at 07:23 PM shimon Says:
“ Millhousen; hopefully you are joking or being sarcastic but even so, your comment is a bit perverted...having a physical relationships with an Akorro or elderly or pregnant worman is a big avera and morally repugant.
”
Not according to the halacha. The jewish one. Millhouse is right.
25
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:13 PM Book Store Says:
The sefer is called "ובחרת בחיים" and not as stated inthe article.
26
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:09 PM lets being fair Says:
Suprised everyone is oooihg awwwing dealing with contemporary issues is what poskim do. As to what the Rav wrote concerning Religious Zionism appears to be more in the context of remaining in control of one's thoughts and not getting swept up in the moment based on emotion.
Having a firm sense of what one's Mesora is and its Hashkah is a sign of maturaty and devotion.
Though truth be told I do not think if one has positive thoughts about the Medina and appreciation for the Chaiyalim who put themselves in harm's way to protect the country. Fair number of these warriors are serious Torah Students who wish to maintain high standards of obersance while serving just take a look at any number of Seforim written to address soliders concerns. However for the reasons stated above this sounds like an important sefer where is it available?
27
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:08 PM Anonymous Says:
“ One that has relationships with his wife that is an Akorro or elderly or pregnant or Shloh Kdarkoh. ”
Your extremely and dangerously wrong, only Shlo kidarka is were that problem begins!
28
Jun 11, 2009 at 06:01 PM Pashuteh Yid Says:
I have said many times that those groups that have made machlokes with the Zionists and other yidden into their mantra are the ones who themsleves are now torn apart by internal machlokes. It is midah kneged midah. When the sinas chinam cat is let out of the bag, it boomerangs back and the group uses that midah to fight amongst themselves. This occurs over and over again.
29
Jun 11, 2009 at 07:48 PM Milhouse Says:
“ Milhaus/Mark Levin: Shelo kdarka is a mitzva? Which one? ”
No, that one is not a mitzvah, though it's not an avera either. The rest of his list were mitzvos.
30
Jun 11, 2009 at 08:22 PM Mod Says:
first of all: i had no idea what it was and neither did google
2nd: it could have been written in a euphemistic way or simply zerah levatolo
3rd i believe im not the only one who didnt know the "meaning" of the words
and Millhouse post #21, if it said one of those euphemisms the question would never have been asked (at least not by me)
31
Jun 11, 2009 at 08:13 PM Satmar Man Says:
“ No, that one is not a mitzvah, though it's not an avera either. The rest of his list were mitzvos. ”
Milhouse, you are 100% right. It is a MITZVAH to continue to have relations with your wife under conditions 1 & 2.
Only lo k'darko starts the problem.
Should a husband stop intimacy with his wife just because she can't get pregnant? Of course not!
The second one is dealt with clearly in the shulchan aruch also.
Both 1 and 2 are MITZVOS.
32
Jun 11, 2009 at 08:01 PM Anonymous Says:
“ One that has relationships with his wife that is an Akorro or elderly or pregnant or Shloh Kdarkoh. ”
I hope you were being sarcastic. If anyone here is confused, except for the last one, the others are all mitzvos.
33
Jun 11, 2009 at 07:52 PM sammmy Says:
that picture is actually in his study. not japan.
34
Jun 11, 2009 at 08:39 PM YitzchokM Says:
“ No, that one is not a mitzvah, though it's not an avera either. The rest of his list were mitzvos. ”
Um, let's not go there, please!
35
Jun 11, 2009 at 07:51 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Not according to the halacha. The jewish one. Millhouse is right. ”
There is no such halacha. It is always assur to have a physical relationship with anyone who is not your wife....an Akkoro, elderly or pregnant woman is even worse.
36
Jun 11, 2009 at 09:26 PM Anonymous Says:
“ One that has relationships with his wife that is an Akorro or elderly or pregnant or Shloh Kdarkoh. ”
You cannot be serious.....please tell us this is tongue in cheek....you cannot be serious. Heaven help us (actually your wife) if you really are so blind and misled. You cannot be a descendent of Avraham Avinu, who loved and respected his wife into old age even though she was physically incapable of having children.
37
Jun 11, 2009 at 09:57 PM Anonymous Says:
“ There is no such halacha. It is always assur to have a physical relationship with anyone who is not your wife....an Akkoro, elderly or pregnant woman is even worse. ”
Where do people get these ideas? Look at Halocho Seforim and you will see that if Mutar to live with a pregnant or elderly woman.
38
Jun 11, 2009 at 09:56 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Your extremely and dangerously wrong, only Shlo kidarka is were that problem begins! ”
There's a Gemoro that says that a woman came to complain to an Amora (I think it was Rav, but I'm not sure) that her husband was living with her Shelo K'Darko. The Amora said to her, what can I do, it is your husband's right to do so.
39
Jun 11, 2009 at 08:47 PM Young Israel Says:
“ I have said many times that those groups that have made machlokes with the Zionists and other yidden into their mantra are the ones who themsleves are now torn apart by internal machlokes. It is midah kneged midah. When the sinas chinam cat is let out of the bag, it boomerangs back and the group uses that midah to fight amongst themselves. This occurs over and over again. ”
Do not assume that if a rov does not agree with you, or me, that is sinas chinom. If anything, that bad attitude is sinas chinom. Though I am a Young Israel rov, I will tell you that those opposed to the Medina do have some major people to rely on.
In fact, when we formed the Medina, the vast majority of the best rabbonim disagreed with us. To throw out their shitos with disrespect is dead wrong. They may have been right; you know. I am 82 now, and every year I get closer to thinking the Satmar Rov was right. And remember, we are used to calling it the "Satmar Shita" ... but honestly, it was the shita of the rov gedolim back then..
We were the minority.
Yes, we built Israel, against the will of most of the gedolim. But, when I went to meet the Satmar Rov once, back in the 1960's, he was respectful to me, and I saw and felt in him a love for every Jew that I have never seen elsewhere.
Though I did not follow his ways, I think more and more about him, and the more I read over and over his writings, the more I say to myself, "How did we have the nerve, the crazy nerve to go against this loving, Torah Giant?
I have studied the lomdus on both sides. I used to think we were right. But now....
So, you may not agree, but don't call it sinah. Get to know them, and you will find the most loving people.
40
Jun 11, 2009 at 10:40 PM Milhouse Says:
“ There is no such halacha. It is always assur to have a physical relationship with anyone who is not your wife....an Akkoro, elderly or pregnant woman is even worse. ”
"Not you wife"? Who said anything about that?
41
Jun 12, 2009 at 06:34 AM Anonymous Says:
“ Millhousen; hopefully you are joking or being sarcastic but even so, your comment is a bit perverted...having a physical relationships with an Akorro or elderly or pregnant worman is a big avera and morally repugant.
”
I suggest you refer to the Sha'alos u'T'shuvos Rivash before passing judgment on relationships with an elderly woman (and Shulchan Oruch regarding a pregnant woman).
42
Jun 12, 2009 at 05:48 AM Anonymous Says:
“ There's a Gemoro that says that a woman came to complain to an Amora (I think it was Rav, but I'm not sure) that her husband was living with her Shelo K'Darko. The Amora said to her, what can I do, it is your husband's right to do so. ”
I believe trhere is a machlokes about what the gemora meants.
43
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:21 AM chief doofis Says:
Though there are some political / religious issues where the Satmar people have (maybe) distanced themselves from mainstream Orthodoxy, the love for all Yidden that they often show must not be understated.
In many areas, hospitals are far away from shuls, hotels, and sources of kosher food. The achievements of the Satmar Bikur cholim, in this respect alone, deserve the highest form of praise. A patient who receives a little authentic chicken soup in a thermos, every Friday afternoon, instead of the prefab chazerai the hospital gives you, can never forget the Tovot that many Satmar chassidim perform. The apartments that they offer to families and friends that they can use, free of charge, fridges stocked with Shabbat foods, are the epitome of Chessed.
Yes, many of us disagree with some of their sayings about Israel. Most Satmar, however, are not vitriolic like the NK, and many of them, have quietly, resigned themselves to the status quo.
44
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:51 AM Shua Says:
“ Do not assume that if a rov does not agree with you, or me, that is sinas chinom. If anything, that bad attitude is sinas chinom. Though I am a Young Israel rov, I will tell you that those opposed to the Medina do have some major people to rely on.
In fact, when we formed the Medina, the vast majority of the best rabbonim disagreed with us. To throw out their shitos with disrespect is dead wrong. They may have been right; you know. I am 82 now, and every year I get closer to thinking the Satmar Rov was right. And remember, we are used to calling it the "Satmar Shita" ... but honestly, it was the shita of the rov gedolim back then..
We were the minority.
Yes, we built Israel, against the will of most of the gedolim. But, when I went to meet the Satmar Rov once, back in the 1960's, he was respectful to me, and I saw and felt in him a love for every Jew that I have never seen elsewhere.
Though I did not follow his ways, I think more and more about him, and the more I read over and over his writings, the more I say to myself, "How did we have the nerve, the crazy nerve to go against this loving, Torah Giant?
I have studied the lomdus on both sides. I used to think we were right. But now....
So, you may not agree, but don't call it sinah. Get to know them, and you will find the most loving people.
”
>>"How did we have the nerve, the crazy nerve to go against this loving, Torah Giant?"
In a partial answer to your question, I would like to refer you to what the gadol Rav Shach, zt"l, said about the shitah of the Satmar Rebbe, zt"l, when he delivered his hespid at the Rebbe's petirah in 1979:
"His great soul encompassed qualities of rav and father and much more. Physically, he was distant from us; many lands separated us from him. Yet we all felt his influence. Even those who were unable to fully comprehend his position -- AND IT WAS NOT AN EASY POSITION TO COMPREHEND FULLY -- were also influenced by him." [from "Rav Shach Speaks," Bergman Publications, p. 264]
So while it is true that those opposed to the Medinah have a Torah giant upon whom to rely on, nevertheless, even Rav Shach acknowledged a difficulty understanding the Rebbe's position.
45
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:43 AM Chaim B. Says:
I know him from Belgium.
He's the real thing, Lesheim shomayim. But with strick views. U know Saytmar hashkufe.
But still kol hakavod.
46
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:42 AM Anonymous Says:
It is the newest thing lately, to scream "sinas chinom" about anyone who disagrees with you. It is sick and, if anything, CREATES the very hatred it claims the opposition is showing.
47
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:35 AM Anonymous Says:
Or as one Satmar friend of mine told me, "We disagree with the concept of a Jewish governed State prior to the arrival of Moshiach. However, one must never support those enemies of the Jews who do live there. If you help those who want to kill fellow Jews that is certainly wrong. We must limit ourselves to halachic debates, and not support those mamzeirim who would kill any Jew."
That is not sinah as I hear it.
48
Jun 12, 2009 at 07:01 AM Satmar Man Says:
There are some creeps who cover then "lost interest" by inventing false halachic reasons to avoid intimacy with a wife. In my humble opinion this shows a cowardice in dealing with one's own personal problems.
When one truly loves and respects one's wife, "interest" in her grows constantly, as one sees in her the midos, traits, personality, loyalty, sense of humor, reliability, etc., that shines from her. To a man with a mature heart, these traits outshine youthfull attraction, and should make your wife, even in her wrinkled 90's appear to you more attractive than she was as that "blushing bride."
But, there are some men whose personalities are so immature or weak, that they can't deal with an "equal" woman, but look for the "little girl" look, because they are not man enough to deal with an adult who really knows all his weaknesses.
Alas, there is another issue. Some men have their own physical problems which they are to embarrassed to bring to the doctor and try to solve. It is easier for them to blame an invented "chumra" or falacious halacha as their reason for avoiding intimacy.
All three of the above reflect the MAN's unwillingness, laziness, or lack of courage to be "all he could be"
Please, my fellow heimishe men, do not fear getting medical or phychological help. Is your wife of 20+ years, the mother of your children, or the woman who tried to be the mother of your children, and stood by you for all those years not worth it?
Ahavas Yisroel starts at home.
49
Jun 12, 2009 at 03:36 AM me Says:
Defeding the Torah id now "sinas chiniom"? So you would have been marching with the chilonim to support chillul shabbos befarhesiyah? That's Judaism by you? G-d comes first, we do not second guess him, because if we could, he wouldn't be G-d. You have your choice: allegiance to G-d and his Torah, or allegiance to the anti religious Zionist state. If you are intellectually honest the two are mutually exclusive. The fact that the Zionist state supports some religious institutions and people in order to have say in religious matters and water down Judaism does not make them supporters of Torah. Look at your religious Zionist brother who were suckered into going to settle in Gush Katif by the zionist who told them "Mitvas Yishuv ha'aretz" , The land of the Avot! And they went with mesiras nefesh and settled Aza for 38 years until the Zionists felt they were no longer needed, and in an action that rivals some of the worst expulsions of Jews in history, they were driven out bechoser kol, their land and businesses that they had pain stakingly built from the ground up, confiscated without reparation and years later many of them are still homeless. Those are the policies you support? Try learning a little about Judaism.
50
Jun 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM satmar all the way Says:
“ Do not assume that if a rov does not agree with you, or me, that is sinas chinom. If anything, that bad attitude is sinas chinom. Though I am a Young Israel rov, I will tell you that those opposed to the Medina do have some major people to rely on.
In fact, when we formed the Medina, the vast majority of the best rabbonim disagreed with us. To throw out their shitos with disrespect is dead wrong. They may have been right; you know. I am 82 now, and every year I get closer to thinking the Satmar Rov was right. And remember, we are used to calling it the "Satmar Shita" ... but honestly, it was the shita of the rov gedolim back then..
We were the minority.
Yes, we built Israel, against the will of most of the gedolim. But, when I went to meet the Satmar Rov once, back in the 1960's, he was respectful to me, and I saw and felt in him a love for every Jew that I have never seen elsewhere.
Though I did not follow his ways, I think more and more about him, and the more I read over and over his writings, the more I say to myself, "How did we have the nerve, the crazy nerve to go against this loving, Torah Giant?
I have studied the lomdus on both sides. I used to think we were right. But now....
So, you may not agree, but don't call it sinah. Get to know them, and you will find the most loving people.
”
kol hakovod! you really earned browny points with me. to know it and feel that way is one thing. but to actually come out and say it really takes streangth.
51
Jun 12, 2009 at 11:09 AM Raphael Kaufman Says:
“ "as well as biblically prohibited auto-stimulatory practice"
can anybody explain? ”
Yes
52
Jun 12, 2009 at 11:29 AM Raphael Kaufman Says:
“ Defeding the Torah id now "sinas chiniom"? So you would have been marching with the chilonim to support chillul shabbos befarhesiyah? That's Judaism by you? G-d comes first, we do not second guess him, because if we could, he wouldn't be G-d. You have your choice: allegiance to G-d and his Torah, or allegiance to the anti religious Zionist state. If you are intellectually honest the two are mutually exclusive. The fact that the Zionist state supports some religious institutions and people in order to have say in religious matters and water down Judaism does not make them supporters of Torah. Look at your religious Zionist brother who were suckered into going to settle in Gush Katif by the zionist who told them "Mitvas Yishuv ha'aretz" , The land of the Avot! And they went with mesiras nefesh and settled Aza for 38 years until the Zionists felt they were no longer needed, and in an action that rivals some of the worst expulsions of Jews in history, they were driven out bechoser kol, their land and businesses that they had pain stakingly built from the ground up, confiscated without reparation and years later many of them are still homeless. Those are the policies you support? Try learning a little about Judaism. ”
And you know as little as anyone. Your screed is a concrete example of the sinas chinom that you decry..
53
Jun 12, 2009 at 01:38 PM Milhouse Says:
“ I believe trhere is a machlokes about what the gemora meants.
”
You can find a machlokes about every gemoro, but nobody can get away from the plain meaning. Whatever you think on the subject, you cannot call it an avera when the gemoro explicitly says it's not.
54
Jun 12, 2009 at 05:03 PM DR. N. Says:
WHERE CAN I BUY THIS BOOK
55
Jun 13, 2009 at 05:03 PM moish Says:
“ You can find a machlokes about every gemoro, but nobody can get away from the plain meaning. Whatever you think on the subject, you cannot call it an avera when the gemoro explicitly says it's not. ”
I can't go into details on this forum, but there are two meanings to shelo kdarko, the shailoh is which one the gemoro meant here
56
Jun 14, 2009 at 03:34 AM Milhouse Says:
“ I can't go into details on this forum, but there are two meanings to shelo kdarko, the shailoh is which one the gemoro meant here
”
The gemoro seems pretty clear that anything goes, so if there are two meanings both are permitted.
57
Jun 14, 2009 at 09:22 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Millhousen; hopefully you are joking or being sarcastic but even so, your comment is a bit perverted...having a physical relationships with an Akorro or elderly or pregnant worman is a big avera and morally repugant.
”
I have always found it interesting how little people know about their own religion and its laws. Can people please study torah? It is your torah, isn't it a shame that you don't know what it says.
As an example, look at niddah end of the 3rd perek, it defines when during pregnancy it is good to have relations. I don't want to go into the halachick areas here or now, but I don't understand where people get their information on subjects.
Regarding an Akarrah, LiHalacha, BiZman HaZeh we are not Kofin divorce if the couple would like to stay together. How can this be a major aveira and morally repugnant if we pasken in such a fashion?
There appears to be a major repression in these matters within our community. It has become a taboo subject. Chazal didn't have an issue in discussing these matters in a clear fashion. There is a need to be sensetive and discreet in the fashion of discussion, due to the gemorahs in addition to tznius, however people need to learn what is allowed and what isn't.
In a discussion with mechanchim, one of the major leaders of the charedi community, suggested that these areas be discussed with talmidim in HS.