Israel – Rabbi Menachem Burstein, head of the Jewish fertility organization Puah Institute, said that “there is not one rabbinical religious authority in the world allowing a single woman to give birth.”
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Speaking during an event at the Ono Academic College, Rabbi Burstein claimed that Rabbi Yuval Cherlow has reconsidered an approval given in the past to a single woman approaching the age of 40 to get pregnant from a sperm donation, (as was reported here on VIN News).
“Rabbi Cherlow said he would go back on his ruling if Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein told him to do so, and he did go back on it,” Rabbi Burstein claimed.
Rabbi Cherlow, however, refused to approve or deny this claim. “Those who want to know my stand on this matter should turn to me,” he told Ynet.
Rabbi Burstein spoke during a conference held under the title, “Parenthood at any cost?” The rabbi presented the halachic problem in giving a sperm donation to a single woman.
“All the efforts we are making for treatments and insemination are aimed at starting a family, and here the framework of the family is damaged,” he said. “Judaism does not permit one person’s happiness at the expense of another, and it has been proven that a child born to a single woman from in vitro insemination suffers greatly.”
The conference was hosted by Dr. Gil Segal, head of the Center for Health Law and Bioethics at the Ono Academic Collage. Dr. Segal noted that Israel was “fertility power, leading the global front in the birth of biological children.”
He spoke of the current state of affairs, saying that adoption in Israel was the last choice, and that the Jewish state was fourth in the world in artificial insemination. He noted, however, that there was a trend of seeking “the perfect child”, and that 98% of the requests for an abortion are approved, with the reasons for this move varying and including non-fundamental defects.
“A child born to a single woman from in vitro insemination suffers greatly.”
Where is he getting that, he is very wrong with this statement.
Is it a HALACHA or just morally wrong? Rabbis should stick to halacha rulings and not just judge for convenience or morals.
The Rabbi states that “it has been proven that a child born to a single woman from in vitro insemination suffers greatly.” I would like to know what proof he is relying upon. Have there been controlled studies? How does he come up with this assertion that there is proof?
Yes, he stands correct. His claim comes from the pediatric journal published last summer the September issue. The article was written by Dr. Vincent stamford who specializes in psychology in children who where born from ivf treatment or out of wedlock.
This is one of the most file and painful comments, in a series of such mindless comments, coming from these rabbonim. There are many legitimate reasons under daas torah why a single woman would want to have a child and there is more than sufficient evidence that they are fully capable of raising such children to be well adjusted, wonderful and loving boys and girls who are shomrei torah u’mitzvot. Will the rav stand in the maternity wards of the hospital and block the doctors from delivering these babies since the numbers of single jewish women (including frum women) bearing children is growing by about 15% per year (according to health ministry data) and this Burstien will have no affect on these numbers (other than embarrassing himself by his words).
“It has been proven that a child born to a single woman from in vitro insemination suffers greatly.” And a child born into a family of 13 has it so great? It is a judgment call and Rabbi’s have no business intruding their own personal prejudices in the family decisions of single women. Focus on the issue of bugs in strawberries and leave life and death decisions to the rest of us.
And is it OK for single men to be the father of child out of wedlock….He totally fails to address the halachic implications of the the tens of thousands of jewish men who are the sperm donors which are used for these women. At the time of donation, you cannot restrict to whom the donation will be used (ie. only a married woman whose husband is a Belzer chassid etc).
Look on the streets, look at all the kids that grow up in single parent homes, 90% of the time there is something (wrong) there. yes, there are always exceptions to the rule but generally speaking just open your eyes & you’ll see that is the truth. We don’t need a scientific study that the sky is blue.
If the interests of the future child was the only concern, then wouldn’t we also make sure that a couple is mature enough and able to be good parents and support their children before allowing them to marry? Wouldn’t we require that all couples who want to wed be tested to make sure that they don’t both carry a gene for a genetic disease like, CF, Tay Sachs, BRCA 1, etc? Let’s have some consistency.
Today’s psychologists like to implant their thinking into the Torah.
They would probably say that the Torah could not have permitted multiple wives, it’s not good for the children. Similarly, If a Kohen divorces his wife with twelve children and he wants to come back, let him come back because of the good of the children. Roeh Dom Machmas Niddah, let him stay with her, because of the good of the children.
The fact is that nowhere, does the Torah indicate any benefit to children by being in this family unit, as we know it today,; Unless, we implant this idea, into the Torah.
Consequently, there is absolutely no differance between a single woman trying to get a child via a donor, or a married woman using a donor which is not her husband.
It seems that people don’t care about the law of G-D anymore, they try to slowly chip away at our long established rules of the Torah. Personally, I don’t see a difference between using this treatment for single people to using it for married couples, but I am not convinced that G-D likes this treatment even for married couples.
Many Rabbonim predicted this slippery slope when Reb Moshe z”l permitted sperm donation. The rules should be that only sperm from the husband can be used. This would eliminate many of these questions. Of course it would not be good news for those men whose condition does not permit this. But it is a price we have to pay for preserving our family values.
what is the halacha?
What’s so difficult to understand?
A child in a single parent home is at a terrible disadvantage in life. Yes, even more than child number 12 in a two-parent home.
No judgment call, just common sense.
Of course they suffer greatly in many ways. they have no father to bring them up. they have no idea who their father is, halachicly it’s wrong. they may end up marrying their fathers child unbeknown to them which is a proper sibling. it enacts many halacha problems. and it’s sick.
With enough money their is no disadvantage
I can’t believe ppl are actually comparing all this to a situation of where a ‘married couple have tried all natural resources , and are using biological methods as per “Last resource” of a be’daved where they have no other choice at all, in opposing to where it has become a first choice option for a single women adopting that practice, as a first choice and never marry…is anyone using ANY logic here?! its simple don’t mess with nature and halachic perspective it says even the thoughts of at “shas biah” makes a difference in the making of the child i.e. as stated by chazal to refrain at a moment of anger, dispute, etc. as it would affect the child, (even impure thoughts can effect…) and no need to say a faceless sperm from who knows who or what.. and btw some of the above (stated 2000 yrs ago) have been proved scientificaly , that a child born in a house of love is far better …
Allowing unwed women to have IVF, may set us upon a slippery slope. I am aware of one young lady, who had IVF, who was / perhaps still is, a lesbian. I think that she is shomeret Shabbat, and I saw the child wearing a kippah. Nonetheless, is that a proper home for a child? Where do you draw the line? What about a girl who is a Bat Kohen?
Of course, you will always have the unfortunate young woman, whose biological clock is running down, and would like to have a child. How many fellows did she date, and didn’t like the fact that they had receding hairlines, or whose taste in music differed from their own? How many boys weren’t learning in the “right” Yeshiva, or weren’t earning enough to satisfy them?
At the eleventh hour, often after seeing hundreds of boys, they are waking up? Methinks the “shidduch crisis” is a two way street!
So, what is the role of a single woman in orthodox society? Shouldn’t an orthodox community be the best place for a woman to raise a child without a father? Isn’t it supposed to be a warm, close-knit caring community that looks after each other?
“We don’t need a scientific study that the sky is blue.”
On the contrary, even when you have scientific studies stating the obvious, like the world is over 6,000 years old, you still don’t believe it.
I love blanket and generic statements. ” there is not one rabbinical religious authority in the world allowing a single woman to give birth”. Oh Really? I have heard a number of gedolim talk about a widow who had her husbands sperm frozen prior to his getting ill. His illness prevented him from having kids, so before it got too late, the rabbonim allowed him to freeze his sperm. He was niftar and now she wants to artificially inseminate from her husband.
Not every case is so clear cut and I wish these rabbanim would choose their words more carefully before they open their mouths and spout utter nonsense or inaccuracies. They do more harm then good and the subject is usually a machlokes anyways. just pasken privately and stay quiet!
I am rather uncertain of the source for the Torah “not allowing” single women to have children. Whether one likes it or not, a careful study of Nach may be quite surprise the reader. I am afraid that in spite of those who will say that we cannot take what is written cannot be taken at face value, Nach does not say one thing and mean something else – although deeper meanings may be implicated.
And just for the record, one of the children of Bustenai was from an ex-female slave, who was awarded part of the inheritance along with the other sons!
Whilst not to be condoned, I know of no source stating a single woman cannot conceive, although I appreciate that this would not be acceptable on “morally religious” grounds.
In closing I would respectfully point out that the Torah itself, recognising the “weaknesses” of men and women and the appropriate action in such cases.
It would be much better if we heard the direct quotes in their entirety in the language they were spoken. I am sure he said the right thing but when you see a snippet, people tend to react on the translated sentence rather than on the point. There is no doubt the people “offended” by this comment were the liberals among us.
Just think of the halachik ramifications of a sperm donation….. the kid would ONLY be able to marry a Ger Tzedek because they “could be” related to just about anyone else.
Why isn’t this Rabbi entitled to his opinion any more than the readers and commentors of this site. Would all those criticizing please stand up and show your credentials. Whyat has happened to fair and honest debate?
I suggest you go online and you will find dozens of sperm banks in EY and the U.S. which openly advertise “jewish donors” so please know what you are talking about before you make such stupid comments.
is this the only reason this rabbi can come up why single woman shouldn’t get preg? Just wondering
I doubt any of these rabbonim have a childless daughter who has dealt with this issue. If so, they would not be so heartless to deny them the joys of motherhood. Not every yiddeshe girl will find her beschert and they shouldn’t be punished by also denying them the joy and nachas of motherhood. They will be able to devote all their time and resources to the care and nurturing of the child.
You have a question in Halacha – you go ask your Rav. He is not required to debate you on the internet as to whether he is basing his p’sak on Halacha or on morals. It is your function to listen and accept his p’sak. You bloggers write like you only believe in Halacha if it fits into your “beliefs” and life style. That’s the reform movements way.
HaRav S.Z. Aurbach ZT”L said that one should not even attend a Bris of a child that is born without “chupa v’kiddusihn”.
And can you imagine the horrors this child will go thru trying to do a shidduch (unless he marries into one these bloggers families).
So the child suffers greatly? Does the child suffer more than NOT being born?
having lost my father at a young age, i can honestly say there is a huge difference between growing up in a household with and without a father; and i especially see/saw the difference in regards to my younger siblings who did not have as many years as myself, to grow up with both parents. Thank god we all came out ok…That said, I do not belive it is healthy for a child to grow up in a single parent home or a house with 2 parents of the same gender, if there is a choice (obviously if a parent dies that wouldnt be considered a choice, unless the parent was deathly ill…).
If single women would be allowed to have children, girls would never get married. The only reason a girl would get married (in my community at least ) is to have children. And then they usually end up with a lot more children than they can handle. A husband is usually another child, or worse. So of course, he needed to retract his opinion-the men need someone to marry.
it dosn t matter if the mother is married or not . the child is a MAMZER and is forbidden to marry any kosher Jew
However a prohibition with no meaningful sanction is largely irrelevant. The child is kosher (not a mamzer). Being the victim of lashon ha-ra is an annoyance but hardly a penalty. The obvious solution is to locate such women before they get pregnant and find a shiduch for them.
this poses SO many halachik issues, I dont see the point in discussing here on this blog.
who can the kid marry? a ger tzedek probably would be the only one, as he/she would possibly be related to almost everyone.
it is obvious that some of you guys will come up with the most bizzare reasons to suit your personal preferences, that’s being metaher sheretz beshivim
so growing up with a loving single parent, “even” a mother, is worse than having 2 parents of which one or both may be abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted, a gonif, a public chilul hashem, tax evader or money launderer. AND, this single parented child will be worse off and have more problems than any of these other kids.
Sounds right to me. Thank God my own Rabbonim have more seichel than this Rov.
there are 2 questions here-if these are jewish doners does the fact of mamzer come up and the child should be born from the mivkah. 3rd-as it says in tanya the sperms comes from the father brain so therefore this is a case for the rov
And I, as a single woman, must be sentenced to a life of childlessness because of the absurd shidduch pressures, and the unwillingness of most frum men to commit? Oh, I see. As long as the rabbi says I should remain barren. Sounds like a plan. I wonder what he’ll say when the Jewish population starts dying out because of his ruling.
The circumstances that lead to these questions are a testament to the fact that there are too many G-d Fearing Jews who are having difficulty finding an appropriate, spouse with whom to build a viable future.
That is a tragedy that should bother us.
There are various reasons and causes, but the bottom line is that people are suffering deeply. A single adult who has tried unsuccessfully to find a compatible spouse experiences an existential loneliness that is beyond words, Rachman Litzlan. The pain, emptiness, and hopelessness should trigger our empathy, and our tefillos, and if possible our hishtadlus.
Inconsiderate, disparaging comments about women on this particular topic are a reflection of a lack of kavod habrios on the part of the commenter. Quoting halacha in the process of making a disparaging comment, is a particularly vile form of ona’as devorim.
May HaShem help all those who genuinely want to build a bayis ne’eman b’yisrael.
Sim shalom tova u’vracha, chaim, chen v’chesed v’rachamim aleynu v’al kol yisrael amecha, barcheinu avinu, kulanu k’echad…..
“Judaism does not permit one person’s happiness at the expense of another, and it has been proven that a child born to a single woman from in vitro insemination suffers greatly.”
In my opinion this statement makes sense, in terms of protecting the nuclear family. Child(ren) needs both a mother and a father. Take this analogy for example. A fledgling tree in a park is supported by two wooden pegs so that it will grow straight. So too, a child should be supported by his/her mother and father to grow straight (in the path of Torah). There are many statistics that prove that children function better (mentally, emotionally, etc.) when both parents are in the household.
Im not a halachic authority, but my opinion is that by having a child through sperm donation allows her to fulfill the 1st Torah commandment (incumbent on everyone): To be fruitful and multiply!
I am in no way defending IV for single women or otherwise, for that matter. But I personally resent the reason given for its issur is that the child will grow up unhappy. Of course, l’chatchilah, every child is supposed to grow up in a two-parent family and with lots of other givens. I lost my father at an extremely young age. Of course, I missed out on having a father. But I don’t think that it’s halachically sound to give that as a reason for a matter that should be based on a halachic psak. If this is a psychological argument, of course, children need two parents. That is an eitzah and not a psak.
I just want to keep things clear here instead of getting caught up in emotions.
Rather than discuss in vitro and other artificial forms of conception, why not discuss foster child and adoption practices, giving the disadvantaged child and better chance of a norma life? A stable single mother is much more a parent than a disfunctional or dangerous 2 parent home, etc.
Since the Satmar Rov does not approve in any case and even Reb Moshe approves only for a Married women where the husband has a problem and even this only Beshaas Hadchak so non of the prior generation giants ever approved so which Kaley Hadaas woke up to approve it today?
Sadly, there are many women who will never get married as there is a shortage of men. it is very easy for this rabbi (and a father of ten) to condemn these women to (what is in their eyes) a barren existence: no one to bring up, no simchas to look forward to, no grandchildren, no one to love. as long as it is halachically permitted,who has the right to take this away from them?
On another note, looking at the misery and poverty in these houses of 10 and 15 children, I personally think its better to be a coddled child of a single mother then a miserable child in a two parent family. Lets face it, all those two parent Israeli chredi families arent producing much happiness
Having met Rabbi Burstein I would share three thoughts:
1)For any specific questions or specific cases why don’t you contact Puah? They are the sweetest people and will stretch the Halacha to utmost of their understanding to help couples.
2)Regarding R’ Burstein. Yes his opinions are on the conservative side of halacha. He is also extremely sensitive to people and understands the pain of the people he tries to help. He deals with dozens of cases, sometimes dozens in a day. The sense that I got when I met with him was that he is doing his best to help people while maintaing a halachic consensus.
3)I think they are trying to have everyone in the religious world agree with their rulings. It means that the rulings are conservative but it also means that down the line you don’t have Yossi not marrying Ruchama because she was born through a Halachicly questionable procedure and is interpretation of the halacha is that she’s not Jewish.
/YS