Lakewood, NJ – At some point, amid battling a drug addiction and childhood memories of molestation, Shua Finkelstein wrote a letter.
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Discovered on his computer after he died Feb. 28 from an overdose of pain killers, the letter admonished his Orthodox Jewish community for not doing enough to remedy alleged sex crimes.
“It is your duty as a Jew, as a human to find these people in our community and no longer let them live among us!!!” it read. On April 14, a few weeks after the letter became public online, the Finkelsteins’ house was gutted by a fire while they were out of town for Passover. A police report cited arson as the likely cause. Authorities say they are still investigating.
Not until about a year ago did Shua, then 19, finally confide in his mother that, starting at age 6 and lasting for several years, he was sexually abused by an older male. When asked why she didn’t go to the police, Rivkah Finkelstein said it didn’t occur to her. As part of an outsider-wary religious community, she had been given every indication that such sensitive matters didn’t belong in the secular world. Instead, she went to her rabbi, and eventually the alleged offender was put into therapy.
A similar approach has been used to deal with sex abuse complaints against private child care centers in the community. This year alone, rabbinical tribunals, or Batei Din, have closed at least one such play group at a home and allowed another to stay open when not enough evidence surfaced to close it. Neither was reported to authorities.
“There’s no one monitoring them,” said Finkelstein, whose two daughters attended a play group a decade ago that was closed down by one of the community’s Batei Din, which more routinely handle civil disputes. “What’s to say they don’t move to another town and do the same thing?”
Critics say a problem with sex abuse reporting has pervaded this growing Orthodox hub for years. Lakewood rabbis downplay that contention but acknowledge more can be done in opening up dialogue with secular authorities.
Perpetrator recidivism and a lack of closure for victims’ families are primary reasons why families, therapists and child advocates have come out against the handling of such cases through a tribunal system, long practiced in Orthodox communities. It is a system that parallels the legal process but lacks the investigative and judicial powers to issue sentences, weed out false accusations and monitor offenders. Some people say it is meant to discourage victims from going to the police. Others simply see it as a stale practice that needs reform.
In 2006, Yocheved Mauda reported to the police that her 15-year-old daughter was raped by a 35-year-old man just over the border in Howell. When her rabbis in Lakewood learned the authorities had been alerted, they were furious, she said, telling her she should have brought her complaint before a Bais Din. Now it was too late. Monmouth County prosecutors charged the offender, Levi Danziger, with kidnapping and aggravated sexual assault.
Two years later, Danziger, who lives in Monroe, was convicted of endangering the welfare of a child in a plea deal to lesser charges. He was sentenced to three years probation.
“If you go to police, they (her rabbis) make a protest against me, nobody talks to me, nobody helps me, nothing,” said Mauda, an Orthodox Yemenite Jew, who had moved to Lakewood from Monroe and now lives in Monsey, N.Y.
The town’s rabbinical leaders strongly deny their residents are discouraged from reporting suspicions to law enforcement as a way to avoid outside stigma. If anything, they say, there is an increased hypersensitivity toward ridding the community of offenders swiftly and openly. But because of an inherent distrust in the secular legal system, a fear of a destroyed reputation or an uncertainty of the evidence, another option is needed. Their system offers those people who are reluctant to go to authorities another channel through which to bring allegations that otherwise would never be heard, according to Rabbi Moshe Zev Weisberg, a member of Lakewood’s Vaad, the council of Jewish leaders.
The Batei Din were created in Lakewood years ago as an alternative, not a substitute, to the secular courts, Weisberg acknowledged.
“The moral weight of a Bais Din can have a tremendous effect as an incentive for perpetrators to stop their activity for fear of community sanctions,” he said.
Yet even many Orthodox leaders concede the internalized process can potentially enter a gray area when taking on criminal matters such as sex abuse.
Critics were less diplomatic.
“We believe there’s an epidemic of sexual abuse in the Lakewood Ultra-Orthodox community,” said Loni Soury, spokesman for Survivors for Justice, a support group that has dealt with hundreds of victims from the New York and New Jersey Orthodox communities. “In our experience working with victims, we have found that many are, at least initially, very reluctant to report these crimes to law enforcement. This is the case often because rabbis expressly forbid them from reporting these crimes to law enforcement.”
The issue also raises legal questions, because state law requires anyone with “reasonable” suspicions to report acts of child abuse to the police or the state Division of Youth and Family Services.
“We understand and appreciate that often times people feel most comfortable confiding in their spiritual leaders who can, in turn, help guide individuals on how to report child abuse or neglect and obtain help,” DYFS spokeswoman Lauren Kidd said in an e-mail. “However, the law is clear . . .”
Yet another state law, called the Cleric-Penitent Privilege, requires clerics such as rabbis to keep privileged any communication made in confidence unless both he and his confider agree to release it or the information pertains to a future criminal act.
While some people have compared the controversy to the priest molestation scandals and cover-ups that have plagued the Catholic Church in recent years, others say the dilemma is more rooted in the rabbis’ adherence to religious doctrine and an over-protection of their communities against public glare and false accusations.
They point, for instance, to a speech by Matisyahu Salomon, an internationally respected rabbi and teacher at Lakewood’s Beth Medrash Govoha yeshiva. The speech addressed the handling of sensitive matters such as sex crimes in the context of criticizing anonymous bloggers.
“Yes, I would say we do sweep under the carpet sometimes,” Salomon said at a 2006 convention for Agudath Israel of America, a national organization of Jewish leaders. “You know what we sweep under the carpet? Not what we don’t do; what we do. Do these people know how many times perpetrators have been dealt with? Do these people know to what extent one had to have the courage to stand up against public opinion in order to make sure to protect our children? The only thing is, that was swept under the carpet, because we protect human dignity . . . And sometimes if the thing is not proven 100 percent, yes, we are guided by the Torah . . . . we don’t jump to conclusions but we are consequent.”
In an e-mail, Salomon’s secretary, Rabbi Mordechai Levi, said: “Indeed, his (Salomon’s) position today is the same as it was then; that perpetrators and predators must be punished, albeit not in the limelight.”
A New York parallel
Still, the issue of sex abuse in Orthodox communities has gained attention in recent years, primarily in Brooklyn. One of the first media reports to shine a harsh light on the topic was a 2006 story by New York Magazine headlined “Do the Orthodox Jews have a Catholic-priest problem?”
In May, The Jewish Week, a weekly Jewish newspaper in New York, published an article alleging that convicted child molester Stefan Colmer, 32, was ushered under the courts’ radar into an offender treatment program where he was allowed to leave voluntarily before completing treatment. Afterward, in 2007, he was arrested and charged with sodomizing two teenage boys, according to Brooklyn prosecutors. He then fled to Israel where he was extradited to Brooklyn and sentenced June 30 to between 2 1/2 and 4 years in prison.
Brooklyn law enforcement and politicians have, in recent months, stepped up efforts to bridge the Orthodox-secular gap in sex abuse reporting. New York state Assemblyman Dov Hikind, who represents parts of Borough Park and Flatbush where some 150,000 or more observant Jews — many of them Orthodox — reside, plans to allot more than $1 million to improve such communication.
“It’s been a tough road these eight, nine months; very depressing on many occasions listening to so much pain from so many victims,” Hikind said. “But, you know, if you look at the past, it’s a very shocking past, but I prefer to concentrate on the future, where hopefully we’re going to make a difference.”
He said more rabbis are now advising victims to go the police as well.
District Attorney Charles J. Hynes also is making changes, namely in the creation of Project Kol Tzedek, an anonymous hotline staffed by social workers, many of whom are observant Jews. The hotline is tailored to be sensitive to the religious and cultural differences that have so far boxed-out the potential for secular investigations.
“This came from the DA’s concern that some of these crimes were not being properly reported,” said Jerry Schmetterer, a DA spokesman.
Since its inception about three months ago, the hotline had turned some tips into active investigations, he said.
“Because of the insular nature of Orthodox Jewish communities, many victims are reluctant to report crimes to secular authorities,” Hynes said in a news release. “This program will go a long way to address those impediments.”
Yet in Lakewood — host to the largest yeshiva and one of the fastest-growing Orthodox populations in the country — there has been virtually no public discussion and little secular awareness of the community’s sometimes unique handling of sex abuse cases. Many people involved say it is as much or more of a problem here.
Brooklyn’s legal and political counterparts in Lakewood have said they see no real difference between the Orthodox community and other segments of the population regarding sex abuse reporting. However, more recently, Ocean County prosecutors and Orthodox leaders said a dialogue has begun to “bridge the gap.”
“If it’s dealing with children, and it’s not reported, it’s a criminal offense,” said Robert Singer, a state senator and Lakewood’s mayor. “That’s a tough thing to hide.”
In an interview in early June, Ron DeLigny, Ocean County’s first assistant prosecutor, said he has no concrete evidence that the problems in Brooklyn exist in Lakewood.
“If someone wants to reach out to law enforcement, certainly you would think the ability is there,” he said. “Now, could there be things in their culture preventing that? Possibly, but as far as making the actual contact and reaching out, you’d think that’d be able to be done.”
Asher Lipner, a therapist in Brooklyn’s Orthodox community for more than eight years who has treated sex offenders referred by Lakewood Batei Din, said he could not recall one instance when a rabbi referred a case to the authorities.
Another psychologist who has treated several sex abuse victims from Lakewood said he knows of people still living in Lakewood with unreported histories as sex abusers.
“They don’t stop,” said Michael Salomon, the psychologist. “If someone has abused once, the odds are he will continue to abuse.”
Salomon is seeing a patient now who was molested by the same alleged offender of a previous patient of his. As a teenager, the previous patient had confided to someone in the community about the abuse and was told it would be handled quietly, Salomon said. Now a parent in his early 30s, the patient remains unaware of any action taken and, at this point, is not willing to go to the police.
“The same issues apply there (Lakewood) as everywhere else,” Salomon said. “They are hesitant to report it, they are discouraged to report it, and when they do tell someone it’s not believed.”
Beyond religious courts
Though not as common, direct attempts outside tribunal channels to quiet people who want to raise awareness about a case — either through police reports, fliers or the media — have occurred, witnesses say. Yet whether they originated from an organized effort or self-interested individuals is unclear.
Fewer than five years ago, the family of a woman who went to the police to report an instance of sexual abuse soon began receiving anonymous threats from people who promised, among other things, financial ruin if the complaint was not retracted, according to a family member.
Days later, the family agreed, at the behest of their rabbi, to drop all charges and no longer cooperate with any investigation unless first approved by two rabbis.
“We were just true believers in our rabbi, and we felt we had to listen to our rabbi, and the rabbi told us you must make this agreement,” said the relative, who did not want to be identified for fear of retribution. “So we agreed to this agreement, and we called the police.”
But the threats persisted. They included one suggestion that their house would burn down and another promising to run them out of town if these allegations persisted.
Eventually, the family moved out of the state.
“It tremendously altered our lives,” the relative said. “We almost stopped being religious because of it. That’s what happens to many people. But, on purpose, I don’t want that to happen to us because that will invalidate it. And so I’m determined to stay religious and fight this in every other way I can.”
Dr. Carmen Otalara-Levin, a chiropractor in Lakewood, also admitted she has received numerous threats because of her attempts to help this family, as well as the Finkelsteins. One threat, she said, warned her that if “I didn’t watch out, I’d get burned out of my office or house.”
More recently, after Otalara-Levin put a sign in her office offering a reward for information about the Finkelstein fire, she said she was approached while getting in her car, pushed against the door and told her face would be “rearranged” if she didn’t stop putting her “nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“One of the rabbis who was worried about me told me it’s a dangerous game that I play because I’m making myself noticed, and apparently it’s not a good thing for a woman to do so,” Otalara-Levin said. “But my grandmother said, if you don’t do anything in the face of evil it’s as if you participated in it.”
Suppressing such sexual abuse experiences for whatever the reason can often exacerbate any lingering trauma, advocates say. One likely link to sex abuse is the development of a drug addiction.
Donna Miller, the clinical director at the Chabad Residential Treatment Center — a Jewish drug treatment facility in Los Angeles that commonly accepts East Coast patients — said a disproportionate number of patients arrive from Lakewood, which has a smaller Orthodox population than Brooklyn.
“You’d think more would come from New York,” she said.
Miller added that a “large amount” of these patients have some history of sexual abuse.
Shua Finkelstein was one of those patients. In his letter, he spoke of drugs as an “escape” from a “horrible reality.” After six months at the Chabad Center, however, he returned home seemingly cured of his addiction, family members said. Then one morning his friends could not wake him up.
Yocheved Mauda’s daughter, Shlomit, also displayed drastic changes in her behavior after her assault, becoming more erratic and showing signs of post traumatic stress disorder, said her psychologist at the time, Mark Seglin.
Already hit with wary stares upon moving to Lakewood because of word about her rebellious relationship with the religious authority in Monroe, Mauda believes she was cast further to the side after her daughter’s allegations and the subsequent police investigation.
In an Aug. 9, 2006, letter, Bais Shaindel, a high school for girls, ended her daughter’s trial enrollment, saying “Based on her performance in our school, we regret to inform you that we can no longer service her.” A short time later, Mauda’s husband, Gavriel Mauda, was brought to court on simple assault and harassment allegations, which a judge dismissed last year.
In December 2006, child services workers were called to investigate the parents for child neglect and abuse. The state’s Division of Youth and Family Services determined that “the allegation was unfounded,” according to a letter from the DYFS.
That same month, the family was told they would be evicted from their rented house, leaving the parents and eight children homeless for four months. The eviction notice stated: “You have continued to assault and threaten Menachem Steinberg. These actions have deprived this and other tenants of their right to the peaceful enjoyment of their property.”
“She was shunned by segments of the community, absolutely,” Seglin, the psychologist, said. “They didn’t cut her much slack.”
In fall 2007, the family moved to Monsey, N.Y.
The Lakewood Orthodox leadership tells a different story. A community spokesman said any abandonment of the Maudas from neighbors and schools predated Shlomit’s assault. He pointed to the reputation the family brought with them from Monroe, where they were in effect told to move, and their refusal to fit in while in Lakewood as reasons why only one of the eight children could find a school and why, eventually, they were again asked to leave.
“It didn’t have anything to do with her daughter; it had to do with her whole attitude,” said the spokesman, who requested his name not be published. “These people were problems from the second they moved to town.”
The final straw could have been when Yocheved Mauda made her daughter’s assault public through a story in the Jewish Voice in August 2006.
“If something happens like this in the community, it’s dealt with, the girl’s put into therapy, and if the guy needs to go to jail, he will,” the spokesman said. “But don’t put it in the paper.”
Bridging the gap
Orthodox leaders here do not deny Lakewood could face, to some degree, the same problems as Brooklyn, but stress the community’s small size and tight networking make the possibility for cover-ups unlikely. During the reporting for this story, they and Ocean County Prosecutor Marlene Lynch Ford said they have started meeting to discuss ways to coordinate efforts and improve cultural understanding.
“We have a history of working hand in hand with prosecutors,” said Meir Lichtenstein, a township committeeman and member of the Orthodox community. “Recently, I spoke with the Prosecutor’s Office about this issue to see if we can again collaborate and bridge the gap between law enforcement and a community bound by religious differences and sensitivities. They have asked to come speak with social workers and rabbis in order to better understand the community and ways to encourage victims to feel comfortable going to secular authorities. We welcome this development.”
Ford added her office is now looking to Brooklyn “to see what if anything they have learned that could teach us to have better outreach to the community in Lakewood.”
More recently, on July 19, Yosef Kolko, a Lakewood camp counselor and yeshiva teacher, was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting a young boy, according to prosecutors.
Cooperation between rabbis and secular officials has yielded results in the past in Lakewood. Dents were made in a drug problem in the community, for one. And secular officials such as Singer were successful in helping erase a tendency of Orthodox families to hide the diagnosis of their special needs children for fear that the stigmatization would prevent their other children from marrying. All it took, he said, were meetings with rabbis that started at a doctor’s office under the cloak of night.
“We worked with the community, and it really flipped the other way to where you were absolutely morally incorrect if you didn’t help that child to the max,” Singer said. “All of a sudden it took on its own life of realization.”
Generally, signs of improvement in sex abuse awareness also have surfaced, notably in the waning tolerance that communities have to any hints at passivity with sex crimes, rabbis say. For example, a sizable number of Orthodox residents lambasted Agudath Israel this spring for coming out against a bill before the New York state legislature that would extend the statute of limitations for child abuse cases.
Also, more accusers are being encouraged to approach law enforcement, Orthodox leaders say. In the matter of the closed playgroup, for example, the accusers have been urged by some rabbis to take their case to a leading rabbi in Israel who will decide whether it is strong enough to take to the authorities.
An age-old practice
In the end, a deep-seated tunnel vision could be most to blame for bypassing secular authorities.
Rochel Shanik, the wife of well-known local pediatrician, Dr. Reuven Shanik, acknowledged she had brought a case before a tribunal recently. But, she said, “I can’t talk about it. That’s the problem.”
Shanik said she did not believe the rabbis or the tribunals were attempting to cover up cases but to follow the only available recourse: Torah law. Asked why she didn’t go to the police, Shanik gave a response similar to Finkelstein’s: “It didn’t even cross my mind, to tell you the truth.”
Relying on Batei Din and rabbinical authority has been a staple in Orthodox communities for thousands of years, largely because Torah law splits from secular law on many civil issues. And it mostly works, community members say. More disputes are settled by a rabbi telling both parties to “grow up,” as one rabbi put it, meaning less of a case load for the courts.
Still, the system of Batei Din and internal governing has its limits and could use reform, some rabbis say.
Asked whether such a shift would be difficult considering the often ingrained assumption that the road to justice ends with a rabbi, not a prosecutor, Rabbi Chaim Abadi, a police chaplain, replied: “There’s no question that that’s valid. But the reason it’s valid is because it has worked for so many years. It’s not going to work completely anymore.”
His reason why not was simply that youth don’t heed their elders like they used to.
Yet Lakewood is by no means unique. The problem exists across the world, from Baltimore and Chicago to Melbourne, Australia and San Paulo, Brazil, said Vicki Polin, founder of The Awareness Center, a Baltimore-based international Jewish coalition against sexual abuse.
“Case after case, I will hear stories of families being threatened if they go to the secular authorities, (that) their children will no longer be allowed to attend Jewish day schools or yeshivas,” Polin said in an e-mail. “They are also told that their children will not be able to get a good shuddich (spouse). There have been extreme cases in which families are chased out of a community when they threaten to call child protection hotlines.”
As for Rivkah Finkelstein, dwelling on possible cover-ups and conspiracies is not a primary concern. She does concede to feeling cheated out of knowing what exactly happened at her daughters’ play group years ago. And she admits to having, in an emotional eruption, blamed her rabbis for not doing enough for her late son.
But all that is past. Now she just wants to know who set her house on fire. One recent afternoon, an Ocean County investigator came to Finkelstein’s new home to discuss the investigation. The update he gave was far from encouraging. Before leaving, however, he offered her a piece of advice in hopes those with information about the case would come forward.
“He said, “You want to find out who did this? Start talking about molestation again,’ ” she said.
As a start, the should make it illegal for a rav or beth din to withhold information regarding a potential case of sexual abuse involving a minor and impose severe sanctions for failure to make a timely report. A beth din may be an appropriate forum to adjudicate a minor contract dispute but it has zero relevance to child abuse and sex crimes.
Although some of the info might be true; its in the wrong time. We have to look before Rosh Hashanah on the good parts not to make a Kitrug C’V
lo alenu, when will we learn?
Shua was so brave… he tried so hard to keep it all inside… while he may have taken his own life, we who have not fought harder against abuse are also to blame for his untimely death. Myself included.
A child molester is a rodef. Mesiroh is not even an issue at that point. We must do everything in our power to ensure that these predators are locked up for good. How we allow this to continue baffles me, and is a disgrace of epic proportions. It is time these perverts know full well that their lives are over the moment they attempt to prey on our children. We must show them no sympathy or leniency. There are ways to make deals to keep it as quiet as possible. The community can agree to support his family if he agrees to a lifetime of incarceration without a trial and offer his wife a get. Nobody will have to know where he is or what happened. The time for action on this is NOW.
I totally agree with the fact that child molesters DO NOT STOP!! they are ill and should NOT be given a second chance. they need to be under close watch constantly. and there are sooooo many in the frum world. perhaps because they waant to take advantage of the innocence of our children. or they know our rabbis wont take any measures against them. or because the victims and their families will keep quiet as to protect their name for shiduchim. a child molester can be a brother, uncle, or the sweetest guy next door,so talk to ur children before its too late.
What a sad story… as a therapist Rebbeim beleive the kids will forget, that is not the case. As in this case this poor boy killed himself for the sick actions of others. Enough is enough, we have to start protecting the children and not the criminals. Enough hiding behind ” frumkeit” to get away with horrible crimes that effect the children for a lifetime. There should be mandatory reporting of sex crimes, and finger printing for all adults that come in contact with children, and they do in the non-Jewish world. That way these molester do not jump around from community to community.
I am happy to see this issue being dealt with the seriousness it deserves. Whoever attacked Dr. Carmen needs to be locked up.
Any rav who learns of possible molestation and does not notify the authorities immediately is as guilty as the molestor and should be treated so by the community.
A very disturbing article. I am so sorry & horrified to hear of the hatred given to victims of molestation & their families. How can we, uninvolved “onlookers” who don’t know what’s going on, do anything to help these poor people? We should be giving support, but how, when everything is hushed up?
I must ask, though, why a DOCTOR’S wife wouldn’t go to the police? Her husband is a mandated reporter. HE knows better. If he is privy to claims of molestation, he is legally obligated to report it. Surely husband & wife talk? Surely he believes his wife?
There are bound to be people screaming anti-semitism. Try telling that to Shua Finkelstein, ZT”L. That will be a comfort.
I don’t understand why someone who was a drug addict, and someone who commited suicide is a person who we believe. Maybe every drug addict was molested?! Probably not!
These situations are beyond the scope of a beis din. Anyone involved in protecting a child molester or covering up their actions is a rasha and should be prosecuted for obstructing justice. When are we going to protect our children first and get those that prey on children out of our neighborhoods? If having that opinion makes me “unfrum” or “unyeshivish” then I happily revoke the “current definition of those titles”.
Tha rabbis are inafective with dealing with something of this magnitude. I don’t think poeple will run to rabbi for heart surgery.this is a sickness and needs severe intervention. The fact is they are still protecting the offenders and if they don’t release the informaition and do mailings to all neighbers in 5 mile radius to run from the dude. I’m disgusted we need a Jewish Hitman I’m volontering.I’m requesting all ofenders please molest the rabbis kids so it will change the attitude.
I think this is one of the most important articles ever written on the topic of sexual abuse in the frum world. I think everyone should be writing letters to the editor of the asbury press for publishing this potentially lifesaving article.
it is sad that this epidemic of abuse has continued to grow especially in the more chasidic and yeshiva community.As one who fought so hard for the passage of the markey bill in albany i know that the leaders have failed .As of today no action has been taken by david zweibel of aguda or ohel to address theese issues with sincerity.But hope is on its way …….with new legilation in our capital that will hold the institutions responsibile for their actions in not reporting thees crimes.
let the community be aware that help is on its way,despite those so called high salaried so called leaders who pretend to be defending the mosdos hatora.
As we approach the yomim neroim let it be clear that statements that call for going to batei din rarather then the police like; menashe klein idiotic psak will not prevail;thanks to the work of “survivors of justice’: and others we will not stop fighting till evrey molsetor is taken of our streets.
A SWEET YOM TOV TO ALL AND A GEMAR TOV
Since many of the perpetrators are melamdim or other Bnei Torah ,so to speak, it would go a long way in preventing future incidents if they knew that every case will get tremendous publicity. These people can be in shul davening Shemonei Esreh for 20 minutes. He can be a gadol batorah or an Adam Chosuv. As parents we need to be aware where are children are every minute of the day. When your daughter or son goes to her freinds house you need to know who else is in the house and what type of atmosphere prevails there. After that we need a lot osf Siyata Dishmaya.
medical care givers and public school teachers are ‘mandated reporters’ of abuse of any kind. i believe that this law should be extended to private and parocial school teachers as well. priests, because of their ‘taking confession’ are not required by law to report any ‘crimes’, but this is not the case with rabbanim. if they have information about a crime, they should report it to the authorities. if they don’t they are ‘enabellers’.
first of all many small factual details in this report are not true. including the date of shua’s death. it was not feb 28 it was march 2 and many more details. so dont believe everything you read here, second of all stop talkin bout molestation, just live your lives everyone and if someone comes to you for help, help them. but dont get so caught up in this its not healthy
It is interesting that the reporter forgot to mention that the poor boy who didn’t wake up in the morning overdosed at a family members home on his drugs and then didn’t call EMS but decided to treat him himself. Also they didnt mention that a whole bunch of his cronies were hanging at his vacant house right before the fire erupted. Did they mention that the investigators are focusing on his friends and possible mob connections? They purposely make it sound that frum people angry about his “letter” burned it down. When are we going to call a spade a spade. Lets spend one day focusing are degenerate drug abuse and those who get others to do so as well!! There are far more dispicable people out there abusing drugs and getting others out there to do the same then there are mollesters. This is not to say that the aforementioned is not very prevalent and must be addressed but in this case we are doing a disservice by doing so.
Heartbreaking!! I am trying to imagine whether having his rodef brought to justice would’ve helped dear Yehoshua hy”d find his peace. Having the leadership of one’s spiritual society show “understanding” and offer “teshuva” to one who has violated us must be impossible to bear. Why? The rodef gets away with it and we become impotent to defend against this clear depravity! There are no defenders of the innocent!!
Ribono shel olam, please save us, for we have no defender but YOU.
a kesiva vechasima tova
The saddest part of this is that I wonder whether the Rabbanim involved have ever had any real training and background in these matters. How can someone give psak in a case if he is ignorant of critical facts? How can a Rav verify compliance with whatever psak they give, 3 years later or if the perpetrator moves out of town and / or changes their last names? Da’as HaTorah is a priceless and invaluable treasure when it is informed Da’as HaTorah and the Rav has complete control of the ongoing issues. It is a tragic destroying force when it is ill informed and without any lasting controls. Children are exceedingly vulnerable and 100% incapable of understanding or dealing with the abuse of adults. These abusive adults forever torture and outright murder the neshamos, the emotional well being and the psychological health of the children. There acts are worse than murder. Any Rav that takes upon himself the achrayus of dealing with such a horrible disease as child molestation must realize that the molester will almost definitely continue molesting until the day they leave this world, if they can. By keeping the information from the authorities of this malchus hachesed, the Rav is accepting achrayus for the rest of the molester’s life and Heaven Forbid the achrayus for what the molester does to defenseless children and their families, present and future. HAshem Yerachem.
“We have a history of working hand in hand with prosecutors,” said Meir Lichtenstein, a township committeeman and member of the Orthodox community. “Recently, I spoke with the Prosecutor’s Office about this issue to see if we can again collaborate and bridge the gap between law enforcement and a community bound by religious differences and sensitivities. They have asked to come speak with social workers and rabbis in order to better understand the community and ways to encourage victims to feel comfortable going to secular authorities. We welcome this development.”
All I can say is “Capitan, what hypocrisy…”
This is such a serious problem. I know of a number of suicides as a result. I also know of molesters, who themselves were molested. The victims need help and must have counseling, if they are to have a chance at a normal life.
Also, many of the at-risk kids are molestation victims. The next time you automatically write them off, feel the guilt the community shares from not assisting them.
The molesters in our community, have been shielded by Yeshivas and Rabbonim, most of whom do not have a real understanding of the issues.
Just look at the quote above by Rabbi Weisberg (“The moral weight of a Bais Din can have a tremendous effect as an incentive for perpetrators to stop their activity for fear of community sanctions,” he said”). You must be kidding. I’ll leave the comment about the “Moral Weight” alone, but the perpetrators are sick and don’t fear “community sanctions,” that rarely come.
The reality is, a certain percent of victims become molesters. This has gone on unabated for so many years, that the growth of these perpetrators has expanded exponentially. I saw a report that one molester molests over 100 victims in his lifetime. When will our community get serious about stopping this tragedy.
Parents, wake up. Learn the signs and keep a close eye on your children.
Rabbonim, the Gemmorah doesn’t make you an expert on such matters. You have an obligation to get educated and truly lead. You are failing our children in this matter. If you shield the Rodef, you are equally guilty.
All of a sudden all we frum jew doo gooders r believing the press for what they have to say, don’t we know by now how much the press loves the orthodox community??
TO ANYONE IN SHUA’S FAMILY. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. PLEASE BE STRONG, WE NEED YOU. I DONT KNOW YOU BUT YOU ARE FELLOW JEWS AND I FEEL CONNECTED TO YOU. MAY HASHEM BLESS YOU WITH A BEAUTIFUL YEAR, YOU SHOULD NEVER KNOW OF ANYMORE SUFFERING.
This was my favorite part of the whole article:
“”The moral weight of a Bais Din can have a tremendous effect as an incentive for perpetrators to stop their activity for fear of community sanctions,” he said.”
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry. I can’t stop laughing at this. As far as I can see, the only community sanctions are against the victim, not the perpetrator. Plus, until Bais Din has the capability to actually enforce its rulings, which it does not, it should not consider itself as an ‘alternative to secular court’. Period.
When a name is publicized, it casts aspersions on the family of the perpetrator, that’s why the community likes to do things quietly. But, to threaten to burn someone’s house down or rearrange someone’s face is criminal blackmail and should be dealt with by the police. It is a very tricky subject to deal with. On the one hand we want the molesters apprehended and locked up, but, we want privacy. et
If the people mentioned on the victims computer did not mention names then why would his house be burnt down?
Obviuosly names were mentioned and something was maybe being done behind the scenes?
When people start burning homes down this is a clear sign as to why we need to go to the police and not rabanim.
Rabanim in these cases have no power and are a complete joke.
When some people in my kehilah asked rabanim what they have been doing behind the scenes and to prove that they are actually doing something about the reshoim that are destroying the essences of a jewish life they always said we can’t speak about it! We did not ask for names we asked what rabanim are doing to make sure this NEVER happens again to any jewish person.
Rabanim constantly make fun of bloggers and saying we are all wrong for venting our fustrations here but forums like this is exactly what got the ball rolling till now and we will never give up until the reshoim and all of them are behind bars.
Rabbi Matisyahu Soloman speaks about human dignity. Isn’t it more human dignity to protect the victim instead of the abuser?
This topic will not go away until something is done and it’s a year later and nothing has been done except for the public awareness.
There is a g-d in this world and there is going to be a din vcheshban once day.
If Rabanim think they are immune from hell and a din vcheshban when they confront g-d after earth they better wake up and smell the coffee. Some rabanim will join Hitler for covering up what is going on.
Sorry for being so strong but let these words cause a storm until Rabanim and leaders get the damn point and realize enough is enough and protect our kids not the monsters among us.
Chazal have what to say on this.See Shabbos 139a. “If you live in a generation when hardships and tragedies abound,look no further than the Batei Din. All punishment that befall the entire world(!)is due entirely to the injustice caused by evil dayanim”.As this article shows,these evil Batei Din and community “leaders” are are still busy covering-up the cover-up, that has already cost innocent lives. How many more?
I wrote the following a few weeks back, I decided that I just cannot write and cry at the same time so hopefully this will give you a peak into my heart how I truly feel about this young man who died because he felt that they only hope, or way out, is to take his own life.
“Enough is enough” should be the new battle cry, it is enough, Orthodox Jews always are in the forefront but only for their kind, if a Latino is sought for attempting to molest a Jewish child, the pain for the Jewish child turns into anger and all hell breaks lose, the calls to apprehend this molester is heard like the shofar/ram horn on Rosh Hashanah in full regalia, and the call to lock up this molester and to throw away the key, is first song in a soft but clear voice as the Hazzan or shaliach tzibbur recites the Kol-Nidrei and when the Hazzan or shaliach-tzibbur gets to the third repeat the calls turn in to a crescendo with a thunders cry kill him, castrate him, throw away the key is echoed in the great Beth Hamedrash Hagadol of the internet, and if the pervert is apprehended and convicted and send away the celebration burst out and the dancing starts and ends with the same gusto of the sixth hakafa on Simchat Torah, the dancing and singing with the Torah often continues much longer and may overflow from the synagogue onto the streets of the blogosphere.
Now turn the page the molester is one of ours, the pain for the Jewish defendant turns into anger and mourning starts immediately, then all our street sweepers are out to clean up the mess, it feels like Tisha B’Av night and as the Kinnot Eichah is recited with a broken heart we are looking for the cause of this new chrbon first a whisper he couldn’t, didn’t, no way, I know him, as the sunshine/trial pierces through the tick fog, the fog dissipates and the jury finds the defendant guilty, by this time it is Tisha B’Av late afternoon we are hungry / tired we shelep ourselves out of the bed and go to Beth Hamedrash Hagadol of the internet for the Mincha prayer with the Talit and Tefillin in hand and with a new vigor we are looking forward to get a mouthful of food soon, we proclaim that the defendant, never did anything, how do you know, the jury and law enforcement hate jews, the destroyed our Kingdom and the Temple, we will rebuild the Temple of justices as the Torah teaches us, even if the molestation is truthful, a payment of 50 silver pieces for the Latino should suffice, as the hours ticks away my huger pains turns my stomach into knots while different enzymes/ ridicules excuses, burn a hole in my stomach the first thing I grab a tall glass of milk to soothe my stomach and with one big open mouth gulp the milk down and yell out, enough is enough!!!, stop with all the excuses and justification and lies, stop twisting the truth, stop blaming the jury, stop blaming the police, stop blaming the little Latino girl, stop blaming the defendant metal health, and for sure stop blaming other posters who sees this differently then you, we are not heartless or evil, we feel for the victims and for once you need to stand up and take responsibly if you don’t the universe will still circle in its orbit and no changes will ever happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, child molestation and their subsequent cover-ups are rampant in the Jewish community. Blah, blah, blah…A “Rabbi” threatened, a “Rabbi” yelled–all unnamed, of course. The loser loonies are bending over backwards to try to uncover a conspiracy which doesn’t exist just to cover up their own tragic behavior issues.
One of the problems is that DYFS perpetrates a million times more evil then anyone else in the equation. So until there is major DYFS reform, and they are forced to follow the Constitution like everyone else, it is insane and suicidal to report anything to DYFS
I wanna make one point what we all forget… The molesters are sometimes innoccent as well (not to give them any rights) this kids or grown up adults never knew the how bad it is and that this is a big sind etc and the damage it could cause and they start doing it when they are young and eventully when they are adults than its hard for them to help them selves however another point about the rebbeim etc is to put strong observation on them when they are young
We don’t live in teh times of the Bais Hamikdosh where we have a Bais Din that can decide on Dinei Nefashos. I think all molesters should be hanged!!! They are Chayev Meesah! Not going to the police is ridiculous and certainly a cover up. Yes we sweep WAY TOO MUCH under the carpet. The carpet is stainer RED with innocent Jewish blood like that of Shua Finkelstein! How can we not tear our hair out with grief for what our communities are allowing and turning a blind eye to?!
The abuse, with me, got to the point that I had to steal to get thrown out of the yeshiva, and when I was asked by the therapist of why I was stealing, and I told the therapist, that not only was I getting abused by the Rebbeim, but also from other students, and the therapist wrote a letter to the Rosh Yeshiva, telling him, that if the abuse does nto stop, I am not responsible. It got to the point, that I studied about guns, more than Torah, and each day I was in Yeshiva, the ONLY think on my mind, was how to kill myself to end the abuse. IN my room, I had over 100 gun magazines, and this abuse even put me into a mental hospital for over 3 1/2 months.
I still see someone for it, and for me, It is with me EACH DAY of my life, day and night.
look I am also a victom of abuse, howver I’d like to make a few points: a. the courts cannot always be trusted to get the real truth. b our community is different. but we do have a major problem on our hands , sexual abuse with the advent of the internet has skyrocketed in lakewood. not a week goes by without at least one case. however a yid with a neshomah has to be dealt with diff . to all victoms out there, for years I walked around with fear of my abuser , until I spoke it over with my mashgaich, I felt a rock had been lifted from then I was able to shteig and grow. although I will never be completely healed, bh today I have a choshuv family and am considered a ben torah . I dropped dwelling on it and moved on . I even recently decided to forgive my abuser bleiv shaleim . as he is old and away from harmming others. but can we open a center of major experts in lkwd tomorrow? we really need it . I know moneys an issue but its really worth it .
Parents please educate your self about this issue!
Please keep in mind Rashi teaches us that it is easier to help stabilize some one who is about to fall than one who has already fallen.
If your child is C”V a victim you need to get the proper medical help (either hospital of clinical) immediately, it will greatly improve a kids chances at recovery and decrese the chance of many further problem, heaven help us.
If a person is a risk to children the State needs to be responsible for them as our communities do not have power to control these very sick people. We also do not have the right to let such a person move out of the community and not report them, in such cases we are complicit, may Hashem forgive us
the article is full of lies and distortioms all the sources unnamed just another smear job on the frum community.
If u r looking 4 a kitrig how about the fact that Avreml Mondrowitz still avoids justice by cowering in Yerushalayim!?!
#1
What better time then now. While we look back and reflect on the year past lets not forget the victims of sexual abuse. While a victim may have been abused by an individual only but he/she is a victim of the entire community. We as a community have the power to stop the abuse, by speaking out and punishing the abusers. By not doing so we are enablers.
#4
The poor boy did not kill himself he was murdered.
#6
“Shua was so brave” I am sure you read his letter. In his letter he talks about his abuse in only 1 line the rest of the letter was only the anger on the communities handling of sexual abuse and how it should be handled. He was clearly writing about the rest of the victims not exclusively about himself.
#8
You said all. Shtgika kehodua, silence is admission applies only where we choose. It’s a pick and choose religion to some.
#9
Mark I love you. The reason is because the chasidish and litvish community is smarter then the rest. The biggest crime in camp or in yeshiva is two boys fooling around. Every year a couple of boys are sent home because they are caught with the sin, but if an adult and a minor are caught, lets punish the minor a) because he probably seduced the adult B) he will be on drugs in a couple of years anyway. Who are we to argue?
#1 1
Where did you get all this information that others don’t have? You forgot to mention that he was on drugs to escape his misery. If you read his letter, he didn’t excuse himself for being on drugs. All he complaint about him was what he learned about timah and tahara didn’t have any meaning because he felt he was used as a sex object and his body was a toy for others. He clearly suffered from PTSD and he didn’t create it for himself it was done by someone.
#1 2
What difference does the date make? If he was killed on the 2nd then he is very dead and if it was on the 28th he is not very dead? Do you know that an abuse victim wants to live a normal live but cant? If more people will talk about it more will get done and more people will get help.
#1 9
“Probably not” is right but most kids who are on drugs were abused or neglected one way or another. Read his letter you’ll see he didn’t commit suicide and wrote his letter to justify his life he wrote with a cry for change for others.
#27
We all know the press doesn’t like us. But by keeping our head in the sand we leave our buts out so they can potch us better.
#28
You are right. From kindergarten on we teach our children about tznius. We severely punish our kids if they violate the laws of tznius and if a kid is violated by an adult and when that kid finally breaks and tells what happened and is called a liar all tznius laws make no sense anymore and the torah looses its meaning.
#30
What most people don’t realize is that a victim doesn’t suffer alone, their whole family suffers and most of the times they don’t even know what’s wrong.
#34
“Enough is enough”
#35
If your child G-D forbid becomes a loser loony choke him, he may blame a rabbi.
Unfortunately, the Orthodox community, like many others, have shown ourselves to be completely incapable of dealing with child abuse on our own. This applies both to Modern Orthodox and to Hareidi communities. In each case, we can find examples of molestation by rabbis and teachers in our schools and youth movements, and complaints to Rabbinical authorities by many victims over long periods of time–and nothing was done. In fact, the authorities protected the abusers “because of all the good that they do”. In each case, the abuser may also have done good, but the evil that they did was not prevented.
In many of these cases, after years of asking for help from Rabbinical authorities and receiving none, the victims and families turned to the press and police. Then cries were heard from the Rabbinical authorities of “motzei shem ra”, “chillul hashem”, etc. Not only do they fail to act, they work so that nobody else may act either. They are so anxious to protect their colleagues, whom they personally know as people who do good work (because the molestation is done in private) that they completely forget about their responsibility to the victims.
One can make the argument that the molesters themselves are “sick”–it is certainly not normal to have sexual feelings for children. One cannot make the same argument for those community leaders who shield them from prosecution.
The fact the the Orthodox communities are starting to wake up to the problem is a very positive thing. One could only wish that it had happened earlier and faster.
I am sure that many people know the cases to which I am referring, and I do not need to mention names here. Nevertheless, if any of these people, or the Rabbanim who defend them, appeared as educators in my community, I would do my utmost to prevent them from coming anywhere near a school.
how on earth a doctor’s wife can say “it never occured to me” when asked why she didn’t go to the police, is mind boggling. Her husband has been a doctor for years and years, and ANYONE in the medical field knows about reporting abuse to authorities. I don’t know her at all, but she is probably part of the problem- if people well respected in the community don’t do the right thing, how should the rest of the community, who look up to them for guidance?
There may be problems in the modern orthodox community as well, (I am not a part of that world) but at least they do not carry a superior and elitist attitude with them about everything they say and do. Lakewood as a community should be ashamed.
Now that this problem dating back years is exposed in our community lets deal with it and conjunction of the secular system I do not think the Rabbi’s or Bais Deans have the tools to deal with this serious problem alone.
If the bulvonim who beat people up and shame them for tznius violations would instead threaten molestors until they left town (or turned THEMSELVES in to avoid further action by the wannabe Pinchas brigade) that would be the end of both molestors AND tznius violations!
I wonder how many of these bulvonim are actually molestors or drug dealers themselves who hide behind kanoius, so this will never happen.
How on earth do we allow such thuggery??
Why don’t we find out who made the threat to “burn her out of her practice ..and rearrange her face..” and have thousand of people outside his house the next day??
What bais Din? In Lakewood there is only a Bais Din for monetary matters. No Rabbi has any jurisdiction over assault matters in any form. There is no such thing as two rabbis banding together and “trying” abuse. This is hilarious. Rabbi Weisberg, Lichtenstein, Abadi etc you are firts rate clowns. Bob Singer, go back to your “jewish ” wife that you dumped in favor of the shiksa you are with, maybe then you will retain a jewish mind. Mumor LHachis.
I as a lifelong close friend of shuas and friend of his familly would like to make clear a few points. One Shua DID NOT live a “normal” life until he fell to dugs.Ica\n attest to the fact that in six grade he many times almost COMMITTED SUICIDE. He told me how he used to sit by the window with his feet out and get scared at the last momment. After fighting for many years did he fall to drugs.
Don”t get me wrong, going against the Torah is never permitted but who are we to say we would be any better. He is not to be judged.
Another important point is that Shua DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE but rather unintentionally die. Even the amount of percaset he took was less then the amount of drugs he took in the past. Hashem decided it was his time to go and he left this world after returning to the ways of our fathers. Shua ran for help even at the end he fought his whole life till the very end. He even spoke to us friends of his about how he was thinking about going to a yeshiva like Ohr Sameach. Hashem decided it was his time to go.
As Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen Shlita explained at Shuas levaya, Rabbeinu Yonah explains how if a person is going in the right way if he dies he is considerred to have lived a whole life of goodness and gets the reward for what he would”ve done
shua finkelstein didnt kill himself he had a relapse and went for help he wanted to live….the fire as stated on the police report was 100% arson set with a gas can not kids playing around that is a fact….our community is full of wonderful people who love and help eachother but we have to face the realities that our system isnt working with respect to sex crimes…our children are suffering and it is our responsibilty to act and to act now…and as for blaming the victims for drug abuse..to the victim they feel there is no choice the only way to deal with the pain of molestation is to numb the pain any way they can. With no where to turn drugs become a viable alternative for some …..lets stop blaming victims and start helping them ……then maybe moshiach will come
I love how people here think oh, the secular authorities would have done a good job, oh they get it right. The Batei Din in each community have a MUCH greater interest in compiling information about particular individuals until a case can be brought. In the secular system it can be years before two totally independent reports about the same person are added together.
Meanwhile people forget the incredible damage done to good people from false accusations. That has been one of the biggest results of Internet blogging about this problem — so much so that real abusers hide behind “oh it’s just another Internet story” when their abuse starts to come to light.
These bloggers are hypocrites! They say the Rabbis should report. Do the bloggers report? No! They publish the names themselves, leaving a confusing mud of the innocent and the guilty, with damaged reputations and a total inability to separate fact and fiction.
“Monmouth County prosecutors charged the offender, Levi Danziger, with kidnapping and aggravated sexual assault.
Two years later, Danziger, who lives in Monroe, was convicted of endangering the welfare of a child in a plea deal to lesser charges. He was sentenced to three years probation.”
This is not a great argument for the effectiveness of the secular authorities. The pervert got three years probation, big deal. It sounds like they are just as ineffective as the Batei Din.
The drug addict does have the bechira to use drugs. However, those who have made the life of the drug addict so painful and full of misery that they have the persistent need to escape have their blame and responsibility.
Lacking any information about Shua, his addiction, the circumstances around the Lakewood community, I can only speak in generalities. This article speaks worlds, even if some minor details are inaccurate. Ideally, we should have Batei Din that do an adequate job of prosecuting molesters. Sadly, this has never been done successfully. We have persistently ignored the cries of the victims, justified this with misguided technicalities, and took to defending those who least deserve it. The idea of specialized Batei Din is not new, but no one has managed to implement this. It seems clear that Lakewood’s system has its flaws, too.
As a blog reader, I am offended by the extremes that seek to bury anyone that has connection to any allegation, but am at least as offended by the foolishness that is cited as Torah consistent to ignore the victims and continued victimization. It bears publicizing the Rosh Hayeshiva who expelled a talmid who was molested (by a goy in the neighborhood) because the ill informed Rosh Hayeshiva believed that this victim would one day become a perpetrator. The lack of knowledge and information, as well as the complete absence of training render these community efforts, including the Batei Din, meaningless and non-productive. I concur with the commenters that have little to no faith in Batei Din for that reason. Do we really care about our children?