Jerusalem -Tznius Home Visit Campaign in Secular Beit Hakerem Upsets the Residents

    97

    A Jerusalem shop catering to ultra-Orthodox women displays the long-sleeve shirts and ankle-length skirts that women are required to wear according to Jewish law. File Photo Jerusalem – The secularists in Jerusalem are a scared species these days, fearful for their future in the city. Even a chareidi just passing through their neighborhood fills them with suspicion, foreboding and despair.

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    At least, that’s the conclusion that can be drawn after some residents expressed their shock upon finding a pink advertising flyer in their mailbox urging women to dress more modestly and to use the local mikvah. The campaign was followed up with home visits by religious women to explain the concept of tznius.

    A. and R. are a young secular couple living in the neighborhood who married a few months ago. Two weeks ago, R. was alone in the house when unexpected chareidi women knocked on her door and asked to come in.

    R. relates, “At first they asked me to join classes on Judaism in Kiryat Yovel, and I politely refused. Afterwards, they began to ask personal questions. They asked if I was married and if I go to the mikvah. They wanted me to know there was a mikvah close to our home and that I should go there.”

    Stunned at this attempt to invade her home and life, R. wouldn’t let the visitors come in. She was given a pink flyer explaining the principles of tznius. As they parted, her uncalled visitors amiably added that the “the rav asked to dress more modestly, with longer sleeves and untight clothes.”

    The pink flyer, which was titled “Daughter of the King”, was distributed to many homes during the home visits made by the callers. The flyer adheres women, “Honor yourself by covering yourself. Tznius will give you peace of mind. Remember that you are a daughter of the king, a princess. Princesses don’t roam the streets… tznius is highly praiseworthy and one should try to fulfill it to the utmost.”

    On the second part of the flyer is a prayer to the Master of the Universe to help a woman achieve her desire to be modest. “Help me be a kosher, modest and truthful woman as You desire.”

    The thousands of flyers in fact were produced in Tsefas. A chareidi woman called Esther has written up the flyers and is distributing them. She mentioned that she printed 3 different kinds of flyers — one for all Jewish women, another one in peach for married women and a lavender one which also brings relevant halachos. She explains, “I am doing this l’shem shomayim to bring merit to Jewish women.”

    Several days ago, A. and R. received another visit, but this time A. was in the house. “I learned my lesson and this time I opened the door dressed in underwear,” says A. cynically. “They immediately left.”

    After laughing at their reaction, he says seriously, “We got married several months ago and deliberately chose to live here. As it is, my wife does not dress provocatively. But we live with the feeling that we are under observation — imagine, people come to our home and tell us how to dress!” He says he doesn’t know if there is any future for him in the neighborhood or anywhere in Jerusalem.

    Another resident of Bet Hakerem, M., claims that for a long time already, “Things are changing in the neighborhood. It’s obvious to all of us that within a few years, there won’t be many chilonim here. The proof is the chareidi realtors which are buzzing around everywhere, as well as the religious families that buy second hand houses after a mikvah or shul was built.”


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    97 Comments
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    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I would like to pose a seroius question here:

    Are these “Home Invadors” really doing the right thing or not?

    In other words maybe there IS a chiyuv for Frum People to try and bring back as many yiddeshe Neshomos as possible. On the other hand maybe it’s not our buisiness to bother others and let them live their lives as they wish as long as we lead by example.

    Either way though, even if you hold that we do have a chiyuv to engage them, is THIS WAY the proper way according to ANYBODY??

    I’m just wondering…

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    the absurdity of the opening line of the article, “The secularists in Jerusalem are a scared species these days..” shows the author’s bias. need anything more be said?
    I personally don’t think that it is very nice of the people going around and invading like that, but let’s not blow things out of proportion – “a scared species” ? Absurd!

    formally
    formally
    14 years ago

    one must fight fire with fire.

    Thew non religious should walk around with the least amount of cloths that their morals allow. And just ignore the people who are telling them to wear more clothing

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    what a kidush hasham yes there are still jewish men and women fighting for hasham may they be blased

    MD
    MD
    14 years ago

    This is obviously one of the many provocative, anti-chareidi articles in the secular media. Teltale signs include the fact that not a single person is identified by name. Everyone is anonymous. The Israeli media has been doing this for decades. Why not go to the Maariv website and register a protest!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    If someone came into my home and started asking my wife about whether she goes to mikvah, I would kick him or her out on their duffs and tell them in no uncertain terms to NEVER come back on my property or approach any member of my mishapcha. How dare these people seek to impose their lifestyle or beliefs on others who don’t want to hear their message. As a practical matter, we are shomrei torah umitzvot but strongly resent these fanatics from engaing in their evangelical efforts. I’d do the same to someone from Jew for Jesus if they started bothering my family.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Why don’t they knock on doors in meah shearrim and telt the demonstrators what a chillul hashem they are committing by throwing dirty diapers at the police or burning dumpsters on shabbos . That would be a much better and more productive use of their time.

    Dovid
    Dovid
    14 years ago

    Next time people object to chareidim moving to their neighborhood you will know why. Oh yes, it must be anti semitism

    Babishka
    Babishka
    14 years ago

    This is nothing new. 30 years ago, when Romema was still a secular neighborhood, frum ladies from Kiryat Mattersdorf would visit and talk to the women about mikvah. You would actually be very surprised at how many “secular” women visit the mikvah.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Why did she allow these crazies into her home and once she realized their agenda, why didn’t she kick them out and call the police rather than engaging them in dialogue or taking their flyers. Her actions only encourage them to keep tying to “convert” her.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    This is really not the way to do things.
    It will just turn people off from yiddishkiet.
    Even though I’m not Chabad I do admire there aproach.
    Its all Ahavas Yisroel & example – encourging them to take small baby steps & do one more mitzvah

    Son of Father & Holy Ghost
    Son of Father & Holy Ghost
    14 years ago

    These jew boys sound like a cult to me. How does one join? Is this part of the Hare Krishna’s? Seventh Day Adventists?

    IY"H DAD2B
    IY"H DAD2B
    14 years ago

    This makes me sick to my stomach!! Who do these people think they are??? I’m married for 2 years and I don’t have any children yet, a number of weeks ago we got a letter that said this

    “I am writing you because I realize what great parents you would be.

    “I promise you that if you accept upon yourself to wear much longer skirts and to always dress in loose (even baggy) clothing whether pregnant or not, Hashem will bless you both with children.

    “Dear husband, it is your obligation to compliment your wife on how beautiful she looks this way. As it is truly beautiful to keep her real beauty just for you personally.

    “You will both be blessed by Hashem.”

    My wife sent it in to a local blog but what ells can I do? People are sick, and some people are just plain board and need a cause so they take up the most important cause in the word which is of course tznius!!! I say everyone should work on their “Bain Adom Lachavaro” it’s the A B C of Yiddishkite, unfortunately many of us don’t have it.

    destro613
    destro613
    14 years ago

    they are like the 7th day Adventist or the Mormons who go around preaching

    Lawyer
    Lawyer
    14 years ago

    Here is a thought. Suppose the people knocking on the doors were handing out flyers asking people to believe in J_____. (This happened to my grandmother in EY!)

    Would the same people feel “threatened?”

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with doing Kiruv. However it has be done in a non provacotive way.

    Robert
    Robert
    14 years ago

    there needs to be mutual respect amongst the various factions
    that includes not knocking on their doors or telemarketing them at home..
    and yes this applies both ways.
    how would the chareidim feel if secular activists knocked on their doors encoraging a more open and nonobservant lifestyle.. i think the mesage is clear
    there is a time and place for everything..

    RJ
    RJ
    14 years ago

    I would also be filled with suspicion, foreboding and despair if Charedim would come to my neighborhood with Tznius flyers. It starts with flyers, before you know they’re spraying bleach and raining spit on women who aren’t dressed the way they like

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    The picture of the store in Yerushalayim has a caption that reads “A Jerusalem shop catering to ultra-Orthodox women displays the long-sleeve shirts and ankle-length skirts that women are required to wear according to Jewish law”.
    Sorry, but skirts for women do not have to be ankle-length, they only have to cover the knees when standing, sitting, walking ect (depending on the person it can range from about 3 to 4 inches below the knee, but you need to test this for yourself. this is not a psak.). I am ashamed at this “holier than thou” attitude where everyone has to hold to a higher chumra or halacha than their neighbor, even when it is unfounded. There are those who say ankle-length is untzniyus as it attracts attention more than slightly shorter lengths (still way below knees). We should work on the basic halacha, as it is written, before making it even more stringent.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    although I think personally it is great to make more people frum, I can understand why they may be upset. Would anyone be offended if there was a door to door campaign in Meah Shearim trying to get people to go to a Greatful Dead concert, or asking to come to a Bialik poetry reading in Har Nof . Kiruv work is important, as long as it doesn’t offend anyone. Oh yeah I forgot, our way is Leshem Shamayim and therefore anything we do is fine, and they are all a bunch of mechaleli shabbos so anything they would do is wrong.

    Yaff80
    Yaff80
    14 years ago

    Whilst I strongly feel for tznius and tahras Hamishpacha, i feel more strongly that this is a classic case of “Yotso S’choroy b’hefsaidoy”. No-one in their right frame of mind will be choizer biteshuva by imposing it on them. Yes if they decide on their own, encourage it etc, but to enter their domain and impose it, will make them more anti not less anti, creating A chillul Hashem of the highest order, not a Kiddush Hashem.
    In english its called “MISSIONARY”. This is what they do. Is it not?
    What do you think?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I am afraid! One day a secure Jew is knocking in my door trying to explain my wife: why not a little education? Don’t believe your husband; when you really need help is it the rabbi or the doctor? So that behavior is dangerous!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I think its great that people are hitting the streets to spread Dvar Hashem, However throwing it in peoples face is something else. Plus any talking of a womans mikvah habits (existant or not) is not modest. this is a matter b/t husband, wife and hashem. but to ask someone “do you go” (especially a stranger) that not tzniut

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    the taliban are coming,azoe vi sa goyisht zich azoei yiddish zicht

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    It is not the business of ANY other yid whether or not my wife goes to mikvah. Her personal and spiritual hygieine is a matter for her and our rebbe.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I seem to recall learning about the bracha “Mah-tovu ohalecha Ya’akov” – the letters in that phrase have no open sides facing each other, reflecting the respect for personal space that B”nai Yisrael gives to each other. This “campaign” seems to have ignored that concept.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    i would say the husband should agree to these perverts that his wife use the mikva if he can be the towel boy

    Robert
    Robert
    14 years ago

    maybe its time to take a rule from the playbook of our cousins the arabs…

    first, we should consider women covering up completely as in burkhas, certainly when they travel in public..
    secondly, maybe women should not be allowed out of the home unless escorted by a male relative..
    if these non jews can show so much tzeneius, kal vachomer maybe we should learn from them..
    the halacha of tzeneiut is complex.. societal norms do play a part and in that part of the world maybe the chareidim should be machmir and cover up at least as much as the arabs..

    malach
    malach
    14 years ago

    “A Jerusalem shop catering to ultra-Orthodox women displays the long-sleeve shirts and ankle-length skirts that women are required to wear according to Jewish law. File Photo”
    Sorry, I am dati leumi, living in Israel, and there is no halacha that says a woman should wear floor length skirts and long sleeves. This is all minhag. If the haredi choose to do their minhag this way that is their choice, but it is not normative halacha, does not follow the Talmud, and they have no place going into other neighborhoods and pushing their point of view like Jehovah’s Witnesses. In fact, doing this is very unJewish as one is supposed to leave the minhag of the neighborhoiod intact.

    Be Blessed
    Be Blessed
    14 years ago

    May father 2B (no 15) and no 39 be blessed with healthy children soon and all those others praying for children. Bring them up with love of Hashem and his people.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    all you apikorsim do not believe in the mitzva of hochayach tochiyach, or did you decide that the non religious are not bechlal amisecha? either way, being a sonay tochacha will keep you on the right path—-to hell!

    Getzel the Pretzel
    Getzel the Pretzel
    14 years ago

    R’ Eliyahu Lopian ZT”L made a powerful point. We do not blow the shofar on Shabbos Rosh Hashanah because shem yaavor 4 amos b’rishus harabbim. So we are afraid that one person will be chotah so klal yisroel will not blow the shofar, even though the gemara says kol shlo tokin brashina etc. Despite the danger of not blowing shofar, chazal considered it more important that 1 yachid does not do an aveirah.

    Same here, it is important that one person dresses b’tznius. Of course this must be done the right way. The metaphorical spin of this article is questionable.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I have no problem as long as the Charedim also accept that in a free marketplace of ideas, secular, reform or modern orthodox Jews can knock on their door, make the case that that they have mistaken the peasant culture of 18th century Europe and the misogynistic influence of extremist Islam for true yiddishkeit and invite them to a shabbat picnic by the ocean in the true spirit of kedusah.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    WHH
    The Jerusalem shop photo which is captioned “Displaying the long sleeves and long skirts the ultra orthodox are required to wear…” made me laugh out loud. No ultra orthodox woman would be seen in there, strictly speaking it caters to the modernite, or teenage type look. It is a well known and large store at the top of Rechov Malchai Yisroel in Geulah. Go see for yourselves. It is for the fashion conscious very little discretionary income sector. NOT FOR THE ULTRA ORTHODOX!!! Listen here my fellow Americans, do not believe what you read! very likely it all comes from sheker, the same way that photo does.

    OOlala
    OOlala
    14 years ago

    The husband was cool – unfortunately they asked for it and they got it

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    There are plenty of people who will change because of these flyers, and that’s why this couple is so afraid. Deep down they feel guilty and know the kiruv people have a point.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with trying to “sell” someone else what you think is right. To be successful, the pitch must be skillful, respectful, and convincing. The attempts will fail when they cross the line by becoming too paternalistic, offensive, or uninformed.

    By all means, we are a people who engage in conversation and debate. Everyone, secular or frum, tries to live in a way which they believe to be true. We should not be afraid of *trying* to help others, but we must always realize that coercion and poor derech eretz are not acceptable.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    reply to #66 who besides chareidim do kiruv? your type is mekarev to hell!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    reply to #66 who besides chareidim do kiruv? your type is mekarev to hell!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Jewish people knocking on other Jewish people’s doors to hand out flyers teaching Yiddishkeit is neither fanatical nor coercion. Whether it works or not is debatable, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. I bet the people “missionizing” are nice and soft-spoken, and the seculars are just acting out their guilt or deep-rooted hatred for Chareidim. Many of these seculars have never been exposed to the basics of Judaism, and there’s no reason why this new approach can’t be tried.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    For all those who think that what these kannoim are doing is a good idea—what if instead of pushing their interpretation of tznius, they were attacking your wives and daughters for not following their rebbe (that is, your rebbe wasn’t good enough).

    In this case, maybe they are successful for 1% (if that much), but in the meantime, they turn off a lot of yidden (including those raised frum).

    Also, it doesn’t take a genius to see that this type of behavior doesn’t make someone a desirable neighbor. Think about that the next time a frum family wants to move into a nicer or more affordable neighborhood in Israel—the secular, the dati/leumi, the masorati Jew won’t want them.

    Shaul in Monsey
    Shaul in Monsey
    14 years ago

    This in your face brand of farfrumptkeit has no basis in Torah. The chareidi that do this learned their shenanigans from mormons and Jews for J. No where in the Torah is there a call to arms for taliban tactics of making people more “frum.”

    IMHO this shows a lack of kovod habriyos, a lack of derech eretz and is behavior that is meakeiv the geulah. No yid is qualified to judge another yid. If the chareidi like that system let them baptize themselves at the nearest church. Torah true judaism means you do not judge others, you worry about yourself. For all these morons know the couple in the article get more schar for whatever they do than these idiots do for all that they do.

    Stop judging others and worry about yourself.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    This demonstrates the dangers of untrained people doing kiruv. First of all, especially on issues as sensitive as tznius and mikvah, it is very important to have the right approach and to use the right language, Otherwise there is a serious risk of misunderstanding with the result of pushing the person away rather than attracting them. Second, it is not advisable for untrained people to go door to door, especially these days when Chareidim have been so much in the news in a negative light.

    The topics chosen are also not “introductory” kiruv topics. A person who does not yet have a basic understanding of Yiddishkeit will not understand what they are about. Mikvah is particularly hard to explain, and should never be brought up until the person is genuinely interested. Remember, a person who has never been approached has the potential for kiruv. A person who has been approached in the wrong way is turned off – probably permanently.

    Leave kiruv to the ones who are trained to do it. Support Yad L’Achim or similar organizations, but don’t try to “do it yourself” unless someone you already know starts asking you (and even then it’s wise to consult with someone about how best to answer).

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Get real! Chareidim are always painted in a negative light. There are also plenty of novices who are great at kiruv, and all “professionals” were novices at one time.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Live and let live.

    YitzchokAizik
    YitzchokAizik
    14 years ago

    wouldn’t you be upset if someone knocks in your door and says that your black hat bothers him?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    What is the harm in this? Greenpeace has come to my door, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, a local restaurant, a company which made replacement windows. I just say no. The two Mormon boys I invited in for drinks of water because it was a hot day.

    Moriya
    Moriya
    14 years ago

    For decades, Chabad has knocked on doors and stopped strangers on the street in order to enable them to do mitzvos. More recently, Lev L’Achim, a Litvishe organization, finally got on the bandwagon and they have their kollel guys knocking on strangers’ doors too to ask secular Jews if they want to learn Torah. As a result, countless Jews have committed to mitzva observance whether partially or completely.

    Look up the “Roving Rabbis” blog on chabad’s website and you will read the most amazing, moving stories about Lubavitcher bachurim who travel to out-of-the-way locations every summer solely for the purpose of finding Jews and reminding them that they are Jews.

    From the comments to this article, it seems that many people are ignorant of how successful these encounters are. Many secular Israelis have registered their children for religious schools, have put up mezuzos, have welcomed holiday gifts (matza, mishloach manos etc.) and information about Judaism and have agreed to learn Torah because of these housecalls.

    As for mikva, in Israel, in order to be legally married, the bride must go to the mikva and so mikva is not a foreign concept to them.

    Kol ha’kavod to these women who actually care about their fellow Jews. The “live and let live” attitude which is praised by many in the comments is a secular concept. In Judaism we care about our fellow Jews. I bet that those of you who responded so derogatorily and said how badly you would treat these women if they came knocking, would have far more respect for a Fuller Brush or Amway salesman. You wouldn’t say, “What a chutzpa! Wanting to know if I need brushes! Scram!”

    David
    David
    14 years ago

    Nu, so they’re just handing out flyers; it’s not hurting anybody. At least they’re not throwing rocks, right? So, if other people don’t like the little pink flyers saying “Be Tznius,” they can go hand out little blue flyers saying “If you got it, flaunt it.” Free country, right?

    Jimmy37
    Jimmy37
    14 years ago

    It’s funny how secularists have no problem spreading their philosophy that anything goes and no one has a right to tell them what to do, regardless how damaging the secularist culture is.