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Beit Shemesh – Abusive Mother of 12 Sentenced to 4 Years |
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Convicted mother in court Photo: Dudi Vaaknin
The mother, who along with her husband was convicted of aggravated assault and child abuse, would beat her children using various objects, pull out their hair and even lock them out of the house for hours at a time in bad weather.
“We didn’t notice that Mom’s violence was not OK. Only when you leave home do you realize the situation is not as it should be,” H., one of the mother’s daughters, told Israel radio today (Tuesday). “I’m asking the media to stop calling her a monster. All of the children have forgiven her for what she did.”
The court psychiatrist found the woman’s beliefs were unshakable, but did not diagnose her as mentally ill.
H., who is now in her thirties with a family of her own, refused to be interrogated by the police regarding her mother’s violence, saying she wanted to restore her tarnished image. “She, herself, had a difficult upbringing and her life wasn’t easy,” the daughter explains.
She also attributes her mother’s extreme clothing to a mental imbalance. “She decided that was the modest way to conduct herself, though it’s not written in any book.”
In her verdict Judge Nava Ben Or held law enforcement officials partly to blame for the systematic child abuse. “The direct responsibility for these grave acts falls on the parents. They do not have the right to share it with others. But can all [the other people involved] say, ‘Our hands did not spill this blood?’” she wrote.
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Read Comments (27) — Post Yours »
1
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:18 AM mr. chen Says:
Boruch hashem. Hopefully this will send a message to all those extremists world wide
2
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:35 AM shimon Says:
“ Boruch hashem. Hopefully this will send a message to all those extremists world wide ”
Even according to those "extremists" she was a kookoo. Her little burka cult has about 10 members. This is about the safety if their children.
3
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:34 AM Authentic Londoner Says:
“ Boruch hashem. Hopefully this will send a message to all those extremists world wide ”
Unfortunately, Israel's social services are not up to dealing with the mental health emergency resulting from the stress of extreme poverty that many in the Chareidi community choose to ignore.
4
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:31 AM broken heart Says:
poor mom. doesn't she deserve another chance after all she's gone through in recent times.
may hashem help her
5
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:57 AM formally Says:
“ poor mom. doesn't she deserve another chance after all she's gone through in recent times.
may hashem help her ”
nope
the safety of the children must come first. and from what she did to her children she really did not suffer.
6
Nov 03, 2009 at 12:43 PM Anonymous Says:
“ poor mom. doesn't she deserve another chance after all she's gone through in recent times.
may hashem help her ”
She does not deserve another chance. Her children need the protection of knowing she will no longer affect them. Perhaps then the cycle of violence will end with her.
7
Nov 03, 2009 at 01:12 PM Anonymous Says:
The daughter sounds pretty loony herself. Anyone who can give excuses for such behavior--and tehn say the mother has been forgiven--has got to have something loose upstairs.
8
Nov 03, 2009 at 01:03 PM Anonymous Says:
This woman is evil. She has destroyed the lives of her children by contiunuous abuse. This is not heresay. She deserves to be locked away either in prison or a mental hospital for longer than 4 years. She got off easy.
9
Nov 03, 2009 at 01:25 PM wondering Says:
This isn't the mom that abused her 3 year old child by starving him. This is a complete different case I think
10
Nov 03, 2009 at 01:16 PM Anonymous Says:
i dont get it. its obvious shes has mental problems certain things dont need a pyscatric evalution. its as clear as day that shes nuts. whats jail gona help . y dont they just take awy her kids and put her in a pyscatric ward till she recovers
11
Nov 03, 2009 at 03:22 PM Anonymous Says:
Why did the mother get 4 years and the father only 6 months for "similar offenses"?
12
Nov 03, 2009 at 03:25 PM Clear thinker Says:
“ i dont get it. its obvious shes has mental problems certain things dont need a pyscatric evalution. its as clear as day that shes nuts. whats jail gona help . y dont they just take awy her kids and put her in a pyscatric ward till she recovers ”
The law is different from street definitions. Even though she has mental issues she does not fit into the legal definition of insanity. It is to easy to blame every crime on mental problems. Why do you think she will ever recover? What she did to her children was a crime that should be punished. Before you say I have no rachmones for a Jewish mother think of the children. The daughter's statement is most telling. These types of activities are usually learned from the generation before. The only way to try to stop abuse is to punish the abuser and help the abused learn that it is not acceptable conduct. If we do anything else it will just repeat in the next generation.
13
Nov 03, 2009 at 02:22 PM Anonymous Says:
what kind of parents are her children? I dont want to imagine!
14
Nov 03, 2009 at 03:51 PM shani 109@aol.com Says:
She grew up with well known grandparents, was a regular american girl moved to Israel, something obviously made her snap. She should have gotten help a long time ago. Why didnt her parents help her?
15
Nov 03, 2009 at 05:23 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Unfortunately, Israel's social services are not up to dealing with the mental health emergency resulting from the stress of extreme poverty that many in the Chareidi community choose to ignore. ”
Being poor is not a reason or an excuse for abuse. The vast majority of impoverished people, Chareidim or not, are good & loving parents. And there's plenty of abuse in rich circles. It's just hidden better.
16
Nov 03, 2009 at 06:36 PM Anonymous Says:
Just by her layers of clothing, anybody could tell she was mentally ill.
17
Nov 03, 2009 at 07:49 PM Anonymous Says:
if the kids forgave her then should she sit
18
Nov 03, 2009 at 08:28 PM Anonymous Says:
“ what kind of parents are her children? I dont want to imagine! ”
this is not a true statement.....it is up to the child as to what parent they wil be.....
my siblings and i have been raised in a very abusive home... and we each have gone and still go to therapy to make sure that we do not continue this chain of abuse...
it is possible for a child of an abusive home to be a warm and loving parent...
all you need to succeed is awareness and willingness to go for help and work at it...
with HaShems help of course.
19
Nov 03, 2009 at 08:25 PM Anonymous Says:
“ The daughter sounds pretty loony herself. Anyone who can give excuses for such behavior--and tehn say the mother has been forgiven--has got to have something loose upstairs. ”
as a daughter of abusive parents myself....i can see how she has come to that point. (of forgiving her mother)....
a relationship between a child and a parent is very complex when abuse is present..... teh child like myself and my siblings often find excuses for our parents... like "they had a hard life..."
even though we know there is no justification for abuse... every child wants love from their parents...and although we logically know we will never ever get it from them,,,,our subconscious mind will try to rationalize their behavior...
we also end up becoming the adults and try to be parents to our dysfunctional parents...we try to take care of them emotionally and to fix them....
it's after years of therapy that i am finally now able to say "that's it" ....it's hard .... but we need to stay away...
abusive parents never stop abusing...even after their children are married they somehow still try to abuse... mentally, emotionally and verbally...
more needs to be done to help children like me and my siblings...
20
Nov 03, 2009 at 08:15 PM Anonymous Says:
“ Unfortunately, Israel's social services are not up to dealing with the mental health emergency resulting from the stress of extreme poverty that many in the Chareidi community choose to ignore. ”
extreme poverty exacerbated by extreme numbers of children. No mitzvah to keep having them when you can't buy food and you torture them because of the pressures of raising them.
21
Nov 03, 2009 at 10:16 PM lamdan Says:
I dislike beit shemesh its just another teaneck located in israel they make me nauseous
22
Nov 03, 2009 at 11:13 PM Anonymous Says:
Can you stop babbling..What about opening safer Chofets Chaim and stop talking Loshen Hara. All of you go get a life!
23
Nov 04, 2009 at 12:54 AM wise woman Says:
“ The daughter sounds pretty loony herself. Anyone who can give excuses for such behavior--and tehn say the mother has been forgiven--has got to have something loose upstairs. ”
forgiveness is a very, very high madreiga. it is not an indication of lunacy.
24
Nov 04, 2009 at 10:55 AM Anonymous Says:
Where is the outrage from the people who were so upset about the other case. You are hypocrites!
25
Nov 05, 2009 at 12:06 AM Anonymous Says:
oh my goodness are any of yous a mother of yourself? everybody makes mistakes, how can you judge a mother? all a mother wants is the best for her child, perhaps her choices werent to wise or affective,fine, but she still deserves another chance, or atleast support from us jewish mothers.
26
Nov 06, 2009 at 02:33 PM now a mother myself Says:
My mother was bipolar and abused us. My father was always at work and when he came home, my mother told him this and that and he also beat us. I forgive both of my parents, they are both not well. We were in foster care and had a lot of help from frum therapists who thought that the healthiest thing was to forgive and move forward with life.
27
Nov 08, 2009 at 01:56 PM Anonymous Says:
I hope the daughter has no kids for speaking the way she does