Israel – “Since the beginning of the financial crisis there has been an increase in the number of women opting for abortions, including religious and haredi women who can’t bear the costs of raising another child,” said Rabbi Dr. Eliyahu Schussheim, chairman of the Efrat foundation for the prevention of abortions.
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Shosheim made the statements following the announcement of Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger and Chief Sephardic Rabbi Shlomo Amar to fight the phenomenon, which he commended.
However, he leveled criticism at other rabbis, who according to him “make up new severities on Shabbat and kashrut matters everyday but this issue, the gravest of all and one that isn’t permitted by halacha, is taboo to them.”
The rabbi told Ynet, “Over the last year and a half year we have been approached by more and more women – mostly for financial reasons. In many cases it turns out the husbands are behind them and are forcing the women to terminate their pregnancies. We can see that the women inside them do not wish it at all.”
According to him during normal financial times such approaches were few, but recently every third or fourth case is of this nature.
“It also applies to the religious and even the haredi public – men who come with beards and women who are covered up,” Shosheim added. “Only a week ago a yeshiva student approached me and said that should we not provide him with support his wife will terminate the pregnancy. I was utterly shocked.”
In this case the foundation chairman decided not to grant the demand since he felt the person was using the organization to receive financial support and wasn’t actually considering an abortion. “We run very comprehensive checks using social workers, volunteers and requiring income reports,” he stressed. “In any case the aid is given after the birth and not during the pregnancy.”
Rabbi Schussheim has been active for 33 years in dissuading women from getting abortions and according to him he is responsible for the birth of some 40,000 babies – 4,013 of them in the last year. He claims to have prevented the abortion of 98% of women who approached him.
The rabbi stressed that his organization is fully transparent and provides women with all relevant medical information without bias. “We don’t decide for anyone, but only promise them that they won’t be sorry in choosing to the have the baby,” he explained and added, “We also send them to whomever recommended to terminate the pregnancy to check whether it could be assured.”
Schussheim further noted that he was only addressing the matter of the effect of the act, and not the halachic, moral, legal or philosophic side of things.
“One can suffer mental and emotional disability for the rest of their lives, the cost of which is heavier than that of financial distress. Many turn to us after the abortion and relate the suffering they have endured. They are sorry they succumbed to a husband who threatened to divorce or leave them.”
To avoid such cases the foundation head turns to the husbands and explains that they cannot take responsibility for such a difficult process their wives would have to undergo. When faced with a religious or haredi couple he at times approaches the family rabbi to try and change the decision.
The Efrat foundation will hold its annual fundraiser event next week and Rabbi Schussheim has asked community rabbis to discuss the matter of abortions with the public.
As much as it is a mitzvah to have children as they come there is something as a heter for people who feel they can not handle it whether psycologicaly or for other reasons. One does not do it for wanting to have an easy life. For some raising one child is harder than 17 for another. We cannot and are not allowed to be judgemental. Unfortunately, sometimes women have to take things into their own hands because they are not seriously taken. The reason may be what the are going through internally and no one can understand. Sometimes it may be what she knows and sees her husband unable to deal with longer. She is looking to keep the family together.
Having family in Israel , we have one child who has their door open to all . Their Shabbos guest last week was a father of 12 who cannnot handle the pressures and had to get away….and what about his wife? They are his children all the way and now it’s hers all the way. Or how about fathers/men who stay away from home until they know the children are all sleeping.
A smart person told me that unfortunately we have come to times when we should get a heter when to have children not when to stop or take a break(not for convenience sake)!
Since the beginning of time Yidden have had very severe financial problems and have lived in the greatest poverty much greater than what we endure today and never has anyone thought of abortion for financial reasons and it is prohibited for financial reasons.
If past generations only had children they could comfortably afford then YOU the reader of this comment would not have been born nor alive today.
I would like to know, which reader of this comment is OK with the fact that his birth should be reversed if possible, that he should dia or not have been born because HE (the reader of this comment) is a currently a financial burden to someone or was a financial burden to his parents and so he prefers to not be alive today for financial reasons!?!?!?!
Each and every one of our great grandparents had endure far greater hardship than anything we complain about and so non of us should have been born?
once pregnant its to late, you dont get pregnant from drinking water!
Why can’t they give them up for adoption instead of aborting them???
if youre doing a mitzvah…. hashem will surely provide! This is the biggest mitzvah one can do! Much Hatzlacha!
This is a total shock. What’s happening with people’s bitachon and emunah? The question is – if the world is coming to this -that charedi woman wanting to have abortions, maybe they should be talking about birth control with a Rav, if they can’t handle it? Especially if they have psychological issues? I am not saying I am for it – but seems that birth control is still better than having an abortion, any day. These people considering – don’t they know that abortion can be tantamount to murder? How about having the child and giving it away to a childless couple to adopt! So forget the abortion – this may be the best thing. Many childless couples would love to adopt a Jewish child instead of going to foreign places to get a baby that they would have to convert!
If rabbis won’t permit people to use birth control you will end up reading stories in the news similiar to the one we all read last week about a Hareidi father that killed his own infant.
Reply to #10 –
Health reasons – including mental health reasons. There are people who have severe mental illness who get married too. They can harm their baby, G-d forbid.
I don’t believe this Rabbi at all. He reveals his agenda at the very bveginning of the article.
HE says “However, he leveled criticism at other rabbis, who according to him “make up new severities on Shabbat and kashrut matters everyday but this issue, the gravest of all and one that isn’t permitted by halacha, is taboo to them.”
If the rabonin don’t wan’t to give a heter let them take care of the kids
While I am not C”V condoning abortion, I want to point out that there are heterim out there even for that – including for mental health of the mother.
We have to make sure never ever to judge anyone.
And we have to educate women that birth control heterim exist and the questions need to be asked
“Thanks” #15 for the “stupid” compliment.
There is such a thing as adoption. Someone once told me about a childless couple who wanted to adopt a Jewish baby. Very, very hard to find a normal, Jewish baby. Baby’s with Down Syndrome, much easier.
If these people would only give up a baby for adoption, they will be able to not only save a life, but make a childless couple very happy.
I also cannot imagine there is a Rav in the world that would say ok to an abortion for economy reasons or any other reason unless having that baby would endanger the mother’s health in pregnancy or even childbirth. I remember 2 cases where women (not Jewish were expecting multiple baby’s and were recommended to abort some, so others can survive. Both didnt’ listen and all baby’s survived. So much what doctors know. How many times are doctors wrong when they make predictions?
Efrat is a wonderful organization – kol hakovod. A worthy organization to support. (I have no connection with the organization. Just reading this article on the great work they do – prompted me to write this.)
Our ancestors had more difficult times in Mitzrayim and the posuk says ‘ V’Chaasher yaaneh oso kain yirbeh v’khain yifrotz’
I think #1 is referring to Rabbonim that don’t allow contraception. There are plenty that tell people that they should go ahead and hashem will give them the strength. I know of a case where they got a similar speech and never went back to ask. They have 7 children and expecting ….while the wife loves her children,(all of them) she is resentful and overwhelmed. Until you have been in a persons shoes don’t judge them. There is a difference in being short a few thousand dollars a year and having the family go to bed hungry.
Perhaps the rabbis need to start deemphasizing the chumras that are for show (the gerrer rebbe said if the hat costs more than 500 then he’s taking it off)this won’t help the ppl in the article but it may ease the burden on many.
I’m a ‘normal woman’ with 2 kids but I simply cannot handle too much therefore am on birth contol. I sometimes have this guilty feeling though, when my mom says ex. ‘that happened 2u cuz u r trying 2 make yourself easier…
Reply # 25:
also cannot imagine there is a Rav in the world that would say ok to an abortion for economy reasons or any other reason unless having that baby would endanger the mother’s health in pregnancy or even childbirth. I remember 2 cases where women (not Jewish were expecting multiple baby’s and were recommended to abort some, so others can survive. Both didnt’ listen and all baby’s survived. So much what doctors know. How many times are doctors wrong when they make predictions?
Doctors do not make predictions. They give probabilities. With IVF and multiple fetus the chances of survival of baby and mother are better with only two or three.
They are probably just trying to get money from the organization and aren’t seriously considering abortion.
Has anyone considered that there’s no way Chareidim would really consider abortion; that it’s just a threat, just a way to get some money from some organization?
to the comment about “in Europe they didn’t have ten chuldren….”, Many died in childhood, the healthier ones suvived and so the family size was ultimately smaller. With the advent of NICU’s, high risk ob care, the infant mortality has gone down considerably along with vaccinations and cures that have reduced deaths in children.
Regarding Rabbies and heters for birth control, as a therapist i can tell you of patients who turned to Rabbis only to have them feel guilty for wanting a heter. One Rabbi told a mother who lives in a one bedroom apartment with her five children, that in Russia, the lived with ten children in a small flat. Other Rabbis give an automatic two year break, before you finish the sentence… Also, another common heter for birth control is the level of sholom bayis. There are many couples that should not be having more children as they are to immature to deal with their relationship or when their is physical or emotional abuse that is “not getting better with time”
Irresponsibility of Rabbanim not to inform couples of heterim.
I’m charedi mother of two-on birth control
I spoke to my rav personally of course-and for emotional reasons ie: stress which deteriorates one’s health-I was advised to use birth control. No, I’m no psycho or emotional mess. Just a mother who, with Hashem’s help and my hishtadlus, wants to be able to raise a family and be a proper wife.
What type of Torah home can one have if it’s a flying, bumbling mess?!?!>?!?>!
Maybe it’s the sick men who push their wives?!? They don’t understand, and they push a chumrah of theirs on another.
STRAINS ON SHALOM BAYIS
you can’t expect a mother to be a saint. We try our best to show patience, love, care, interest…but we’re only human.
Jews these days don’t understand what emunah and bitachon are.
Money does not fall from the sky! Just look in Berieshis!!! Straight from the pasuk-pshat!!!!!!!! You have to work for it!! If you can’t put food on the table, get a job-ein kemach ein Torah. And I am a KOLLEL WIFE. but if all fails, get a job. Working doesn’t mean one is not obligated to learn
.
These women have no halakhic justification for their actions. In the view of the Meshech Chochmah, Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein, the Sefer Mizrachi, Rabbi Yishmoel, Reb Moshe Feinstein, and countless others, they are murderers. In the words of the Zohar, those who abort destroy the handiwork of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and remove the Shechina from the world, causing prayer to go unanswered. (Shemos 3b). This is a very grievous aveira. If Judaism considers shedding semen in vain to be a most grievous offense, akin to shedding blood, than surely, committing feticide is an abominable act that Judaism has nothing but contempt for. G-d help these women and their families, and may G-d remove the bitter scourge of feticide from klal yisroel, biheimru veyomeinu.
no one can force a woman to have a large family if she can not handle it, men think they can control her but she doesn’t have the mitzvah to procreate, the man has ! so leave these poor women alone and let them take birth control if they want to.
a child has to be wanted, not a charge
and so would alot of others. Why consider abortion?
Maybe its time for the rabbis to take some responsibility for creating a promoting a lifestyle where so many fathers not only provide little or no financial support, but also provide very little in the way of hands-on time at home helping with child care and raising their children.
we must raise more money for these women.
they must remain fertile for us.
birth control is not the answers.
are you with me?
The true murderers here are the Chareidi leaders who have decided that all secular studies past 8th grade are treif. Oni Chashuv Kmeis. How are they supposed to support families with no skills? They are no better than reform rabbis. The reform ignore the parts of halacha that deal with shabbos. The chareidim ignore the parts of halacha that say kol torah sh’ein imah melacha sofa bteila vgoreres avon. They are both apikursim.
We should also look at who ends up raising children be it out of difficult situations for whatever the case may be or a mother having to provide for the family. Included are hired help not of our background or someone the city will send. Non of them look and are like a Yiddishe Mamme,as kind or devoted that they are or may be.
Think of the long term effects.
Yes,our Rabbonim have to be more open and involved in all aspects of their kehillos.
I just had a early mis and it hurts soo badly ! Yes I wanted badly and I have adorable. Children k”h its a gift we need to treasure when everything goes fine!
I for one do not believe the whole story. Just a marketing ploy — don’t believe everything.
This is a scary subject. My wife and I barely survive right now. Since 6 months after getting married we have had tremendous difficulties. For example, today its 8pm in Jerusalem, all I ate today was a bowl of cream of wheat. We have no food for dinner, so my wife is luckily going to a wedding, and going to make me the last bits of food in the house. We just had our second baby 4 weeks ago.
NEVER IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS WOULD WE EVER EVEN THINK OF AN ABORTION!!!! definetly it is a lack of emunah without question.
Back to our situation everyone talks without knowing well here is a real case:
A GADOL in the aideh Charedis (big rav, posek…) gave us psak that without a question we must begin birth control! So there you have it:
1) Charedi rabbis are 100% excellent in every way and loshon hara will bring you excrutiating gehenom so stop.
2) When you have a difficult situation and no hope on the horizon, its completely valid to take birth control.
Both me and my wife want to have more children but at the moment we are *SCREWED* financially. We have no luck. Any job is for 20 shekels, work like a horse, or just not possible because its an anti-religious company…
The judgement here is astounding. “Where is their bitachon?”
I have a better question: “Where is your checkbook?”
We have meshulachim come to the door every single day. The biggest complaint: We have too many children. Compound that with the fact that the wives are frequently ill, psychologically, and you have a very unstable situation. Give money to Efrat, people, if you despise abortion so much. Frankly, I”m not sure why Rabbaim are so against it. Until a fetus is 40 days old, it’s not even considered an entity. The fact that Rabbaim are so predominantly against something that can ease the pain of a Jewish woman makes me realize that they’re completely unaware of the burden that Jewish women face.
There may be men that help raise their children, but in Israel, I never saw it. I saw men on buses, unencumbered by a single stroller, heading to and fro his yeshiva. But I saw women, harried and harrassed, in the backs of buses, navigating toddlers and infants and children of all ages with groceries. I saw them cooking, cleaning, walking, taking care of children. Rabbaim never see children, therefore they never consider how to handle large families.
In the olden days, you were HAPPY if your children did not go to sleep hungry, because you could afford to give them a few slices of dried bread.
Today we are SAD, that we can’t afford meet every day and can’t afford Car Repairs and can’t afford sumer camp, a bungalow and vacation and lavish $ 50,000 wedding N E B E C H, SO SO poor compared to the olden days where a Chasuna was with 10 people in a private house!
A couple questions to keep the reality checks from bouncing:
1) “Rabbi Schussheims says”. What’s the source of his information? How reliable is it?
2) Is this more than a new strategy for extracting donations in tough times?
3) If he’s hearing more is it because there’s an actual increase or because women fell freer to talk about it?
i work and my husband is in kollel for over 14 years. After each birth (i have 7 kids bah) i would worry saying, how could i earn more than i am earning? i work my maximum hrs etc How will we manage….but somehow, my income increased with each child dont ask how! – Hashem is going to give you the money you need! If you have less kids, you will will not necessarily have more money.
Having said that, every couple should decide if and when to ask daas torah if the women needs a break, physically, or mentally, (could equal financially).
The simple answer is that these men need to either be with their wife’s Lo Kedarcho or refrain from the act!
Plenty of women had large families in the past. They usually also lost children from disease or injury. Most children went to work at an early age and helped bring in parnassah. There were no yeshivas for girls nor seminaries for women. Even most boys only got to spend a few years in cheder before apprenticing in a job. It was not considered wrong for children to share a bed or go barefoot during the summer.
Did the Chasidim ever hear of birth control? Abortion is murder, is that better than using birth control? What a shanda~!
It’s interesting that this appeared on VIN the same day that the zohar in the daily Chok liyisrael said:
The absolute worse three avairos are:
1) Having relations with a niddah,
2) having relations with a goiteh,
3) Killing your own child, an oober bimai imo.
food for thought.
I believe this is a marketing ploy. “it’s not really the woman, the husbands make them do it.” I would like the rabbanim to investigate if this is even 1 percent true.