New York – A Tiny Bit of Light Can Banish a Great Deal of Darkness

    13

    New York – Several years ago, there was a popular book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” with a subtitle “And it’s all small stuff.” I could not agree. There are adversities that happen to people that are not “small stuff” at all. In fact, they may be very big things. Getting laid off from one’s job is not small stuff. I then wrote two books entitled, “It’s Not as Tough as You Think,” indicating that even big stuff, while certainly significant, may appear to be greater than it actually is.

    Join our WhatsApp group

    Subscribe to our Daily Roundup Email


    But even this title is inaccurate. Some adverse happenings can be every bit as tough as we think, and what we need is the strength and courage to survive and cope with these challenges. We are told that Hashem never gives a person a greater challenge than he can withstand, but the Rebbe of Apt did not consider this much of a consolation, saying, “We have the strength to withstand so much.”

    The Talmud (end of Makkos) relates that when the sages saw the ruins of the Holy Temple, they wept, while Rabbi Akiva smiled and explained, “The Scripture approximates the prophesies on the destruction of Jerusalem with its rebuilding. Since the first prophesy was fulfilled, we can be sure that the prophesy of its rebuilding will be fulfilled.” The sages responded, “Akiva, you have consoled us. Akiva, you have consoled us.” Why the repetition? Because it was not so much what Rabbi Akiva said that comforted them, but rather it was who he was that comforted them. It was his unshakable faith that the second prophesy would be fulfilled that was the consolation. We must read it as “ Akiva, you have consoled us.”

    Alas! We lack the likes of Rabbi Akiva that can provide us with this quality of chizuk (reinforcement). We can only try our best.

    Rebbe Baruch of Medziboz, a grandson of the Baal Shem Tov, was reciting the prayer before Kiddush Friday night, and as he said, “I gratefully thank You, Hashem, for all the kindness You have done with me, and which You will do with me,” he paused and reflected, “Why should I thank Hashem in advance for the kindness He will do with me in the future? I can thank Him then, when the kindness occurs.” Then he said, “Ah! I understand. I may not recognize what Hashem will do for me as a kindness, and so I will not thank Him then. That is why I must do so in advance.” Then he began to cry. “How tragic it is! Hashem will be doing a kindness for me and I may not appreciate it.”

    Our great tzaddikim had true emunah, faith and trust in Hashem, that He is a loving father, and that everything He does with his children is for a good, but this is a level of spirituality which is so difficult to reach.

    At least, that is what I always thought, and I consoled myself that inasmuch as I was nowhere near being a tzaddik, I could complain when things did not go my way. But one day I attended a meeting of recovering alcoholics. The speaker was a young woman of thirty-five. She had started drinking at twelve and drugging at fifteen. This led to delinquent, decadent behavior. In spite of suffering the consequences of living on the street, she was a slave to her drug addiction.

    At twenty-six she found her way into Alcoholics Anonymous and, and at the present was nine years clean and sober. I had heard similar stories countless times, and this one did little for me. But I have never been to a meeting that I didn’t take away something of help. What I took away from this meeting has served me well, because toward the end of her talk, the woman said, “I must tell you something else before I finish.

    “I am a football fan, a rabid Jets fan. I’ll never miss watching a Jets game. One weekend I had to be away, so I asked a friend to record the game on her VCR. When I returned, she handed me the tape and said, ‘By the way, the Jets won.’

    “I started watching the tape, and it was just horrible! The Jets were being mauled. At half-time they were behind by twenty points. Under other circumstances, I would have been a nervous wreck. I would have been pacing the floor and hitting the refrigerator. But I was perfectly calm, because I knew they were going to win.

    “Ever since I turned my life over to God, I no longer get uptight when things don’t go my way. I may be twenty points behind at half-time, but I know it’s going to turn out o.k. in the end.” This woman may not have qualified as a tzaddik, and I envied her emunah.

    Even if we try hard, it may be difficult for the average person like you and me to maintain a constant state of intense emunah. Indeed, the Talmud states that a person is not held culpable for expressing anger toward Hashem when one is in agony (Bava Basra 16b). However, it is extremely important to muster up emunah, even for a brief period of time, because if it relieves our suffering and enables us to have even momentary simchah, it has achieved a great deal. Just a tiny bit of light can banish a great deal of darkness.

    Chassidic writings stress the importance of simcah. Recently, there has been much interest in “Positive Imagery,” whose proponents say that by imagining positive experiences, one can actually cause them to happen. I was skeptical about this, until I came across a comment by the Rebbe of Apt, who points out that emunah means not only faith, but also “to bring up,” and that intense belief in something can bring it into reality. If so, then we should indeed use “Positive Imagery” and focus on things we would like to see happen.

    Is it possible to have simchah when one is distressed? Of course! Among the millions of people who watched the Superbowl, there were many who had lost their jobs and/or their life’s savings, yet when their team scored a touchdown, they were elated and cheered wildly. But isn’t fulfilling a mitzvah as good a reason for elation as a touchdown? When one gives tzedkah or recites a berachah or lights the Shabbos candles or does any other mitzvah, one should be elated, even though one may be experiencing adversity.

    In spite of the various explanations given, we cannot fully understand all suffering. The Talmud says that Moses asked Hashem why righteous people suffer, and Hashem told him that as long as he inhabits a physical body, he cannot understand this (Berachos 7a) The Talmud says that Moses wrote the Book of Job, where all arguments to explain why the righteous suffer are presented and refuted.

    It is crucial that we find ways to generate simchah. The Talmud states that the prophet Elijah indicated two men who were certain to be rewarded in Gan Eden. Why? Because they circulated in the market place, and when they saw a person who was depressed because he suffered a loss of money, they would say things to cheer him up (Taanis 22a).

    But what if one cannot generate feeling simchah? Although it is generally assumed that our emotions determine how we act, the sefer HaChinuch says that the converse is true: our behavior determines our emotions ( Mitzvah 16). Smile, sing and dance as if you were happy, and this will generate simchah.

    I had a friend who had a serious illness. I made up with him that I would fax him a funny story every day, and he would fax one to me. There is clinical proof that a cheerful disposition enhances recovery. Listen to the words of King Solomon. “A merry heart keeps the spirit up, but a depressed spirit desiccates the limbs” (Proverbs 17:22). Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch says, “A cheerful disposition is an estimable treasure. It preserves health, promotes convalescence and helps us cope with adversity” (From the Wisdom of Mishle p. 220). Obtain videos of comedians and get yourself a healthy belly-laugh every day.

    I visited Israel immediately after the Yom Kippur war. The country was in deep despondency over the many casualties it had suffered. On the way home, I stopped in Italy to share in a friend’s Bar- Mitzvah, and I visited Rome. I walked over the ruins of the Roman forum, the residue of the once mighty Roman Empire.

    I saw the Arch of Titus, with the sculptured image of the Romans carrying off the Menorah when they sacked Jerusalem and destroyed the Temple. The caption reads, “Judea capta.”

    At the time of the Roman triumph, what would anyone have predicted? Why, of course, that the mighty Roman Empire would endure forever, but the tiny country of Judea would be off the world map. 2000 years later, I was walking on the ruins of Rome, whereas tiny Judea was alive and thriving. Yes, hurting badly, but alive and growing.

    Someone had written graffiti on the Arch of Titus, Am Yisrael Chai, the nation of Israel lives!

    What is true of the nation as a whole is true of every Jew! No adversity can destroy us, because we cling to Hashem. Am Yisrael Chai!

    Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. is the Founder and Medical Director Emeritus Gateway Rehabilitation Center and is the author of more than 60 books


    Listen to the VINnews podcast on:

    iTunes | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | Podbean | Amazon

    Follow VINnews for Breaking News Updates


    Connect with VINnews

    Join our WhatsApp group


    13 Comments
    Most Voted
    Newest Oldest
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Chaim S.
    Chaim S.
    14 years ago

    As usual Rabbi Dr. Twerski has written an unbelievably masterpiece of advice. His skill at delivering his insighful words is truly amazing. He admits to not being a tzadik, maybe not. But his koichos hanefesh inherited from his kedoshei elyon ancestors comes through loud and clear. Dveorim hayotzim min haleiv, which they surely are, nichnosim el halev, libom shel klal yisroel.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    מעט מן האור דוחה הרבה מן החושך

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    It’s really all in the mind… big stuff can be small stuff and vice versa… just a question of how much control one has over themselves… but great article nontheless…

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Thank you for admitting that there ARE problems in life that are tragic; challenges that are not ‘small stuff.’ I have been dealing with great difficulties and have found it very depressing to hear that a positive attitude will cure everything. It won’t. Well meaning friends who are not aware of what I am going through actually make the load much heavier to bear. I would like to say to all of you out there: “Be kind to your friends and neighbors, you never know what pain is lurking behind the smile that you see. A kind word or a small favor can accomplish things that you don’t imagine, and a dismissive remark can likewise hurt more than you know.” I would like to say to Rabbi Twerski, “Nichamtani.”

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Even “small stuff” can lead to major reprecussions.

    RabbiYisroel
    RabbiYisroel
    14 years ago

    Don’t tell Hashem how big your problems are, tell your problems how big Hashem is.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    How do you console a person who is bedridden suffering excruciating pain. Does that person eve want to be consoled ? Furthermore, how would words alleviate his sufferings.Did people on their way to the crematorium listen to words of encourag-ment ? You tell me .

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Yasher koach.

    Hershy
    Hershy
    14 years ago

    Once more litvish rabbonim using chabad teachings as their own. classic.

    Reb Yid
    Reb Yid
    14 years ago

    NO.9 Rabbi Twersky is not Litvish, but rather the scion of many chassidic dinasties. The Torah is not a monopoly, one should be happy if the Mayonos are being dispersed
    regardless of sect. Reb Boruchl is not Chabad neither is the Apter. However, Ahavas Yisroel is a chabad focus. Sounds like you should go back to school.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    But how can I be bsimcha if my rebbes brother also has a chasiduss