Lakewood, NJ – A father was charged with child neglect today after police say he left his 9-month-old in a car for more than an hour and a half on an afternoon when temperatures reached into the high 80s.
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The child was found unresponsive and suffering from heat exposure in the back seat of a car on Ocean Avenue. First aid responders were able to revive the baby, who was further treated and deemed in stable condition at Kimball Medical Center, according to police.
The father told police that he was supposed to drop off the child at a day care center but forgot the infant was in the car and went straight to the learning center he attends, at 145 Ocean Ave.
About an hour and 40 minutes later, his wife called him and asked about their child, prompting the father to check his car, where he found the child in the car seat, according to police.
Members of the school then called emergency responders, including Hatzolah First Aid. The father was arrested and charged with fourth-degree child neglect. The infant was eventually moved to Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch for further observation.
Here are some tips to keep kids safe around cars:
*Never leave a child unattended in a car. Not even for a minute.
*Always lock your car and secure the keys so that your kids can’t get to them.
*Warn your children about playing in and around cars.
*Install a trunk release mechanism so that kids can’t get trapped inside the trunk.
*Get your kids out of the car first, and then worry about unloading the groceries and items out of the car.
Enough with the day care centers and sending the kollel wife to work. Let the husbands find jobs and the mothers should tend to their children. A generation is being raised by people you would not even got to dinner with. B”H this child is alive and well.
Baruch Hashem they found the child before it died. I hope they put this guy away!
what was the father thinking? wow this is why mothers should watch the kids because mothers are nurturers and protectors father are very different in nature, they forget things easily.
Why does one hope he gets put away? He didn’t do this on purpose? For all you know he was sleep deprived. Unfortunately, every so often you hear of terrible tragedies that happen from this kind of thing.
Such a guy doesn’t deserve to b a father and the askonim should take away the children and put them in jewish foster homes!!
why the excitement it was an innocent mistake
our torah keeps people alive
in miami the temperture is higher
#2 , While this is a horrible situation, you are a Rasha and an Achzar. I hope they put you away for every time you went over the speed limit, or jay walked, or crossed the street on a red light. This man will be guilt ridden for the rest of his life, suffer trust issues with his wife, and rightly so, but all he did was be a bit absent minded and negligent. Something I sure you are guilty of many times over.
Nebech on him! I’m a father too of a few children and it can happen to me too. I dont believe in jailing for a crime he did once. However im scared out of my witts if this can happen to me. OMG. Its not a joke. The one who comment about fathers there where stories that i read about leaving children in a car, they were mothers. It can happen to anyone, and it shouldnt happen. Its a mistake like a car accident mistake. The question would you forget a millian dollars in a car if you are used to it already. BTW i think there should be protecters built into car would start beeping very hard if person left inside when motor closed.
There is no excuse to forget a child in a car , you can forget your wallet, your hand bag or your phone but not your child. Im a tired parent lots of us are ,something is really wrong in your life if you can forget your baby in a hot car.
The father told police that he was supposed to drop off the child at a day care center but forgot the infant was in the car and went straight to the learning center he attends, at 145 Ocean Ave.
So the learning was more important than his baby?
All these “very judgemental responsible fathers” out there CALM DOWN!! And don’t pretend to be this so safe and perfect father. You’re a bunch of jerks to say the least.
Are all of you so sure that it will never happen to you? And what will you answer if it DOES happen to you?
It’s unbelievable how people pretend to be accident free on s/o else’s account. Accidents happen and THIS ONE IS NO DIFFERENT!!!
Thanks hashem the child is ok and hashem should help that the father should be released scott free.
Does anyone think this nebech man abandoned his child?. Even if he is punished by the legal system it wont compare to how he must feel himself. The guilt he must feel is unimaginable. I hope the child recovers and I hope everyone else takes a lesson from this tragedy. Always check the front and back seats before you leave the car. Al tadin es chaverch ad sh’tageea limkomo!
yes, it is a terrible thing when something like this happens, but why all the malice? mistakes can sometimes happen, even tragic ones. do u think he left his kid in the car on purpose? the same way u cud forget a pot on the stove, u cud forget a kid in the car. especially if it is something that is not part of his regular routine. and yes, i know that a child is much more important than a pot of soup, but MISTAKES CAN HAPPEN even with very imporant things. so lets all daven that the child has a complete recovery and the father is let out and can continue his life in a normal manner. he has already paid enough of a price.
#2 and #5 that is so wrong. This guy made a terrible mistake. Terrible. And it could’ve ended in tragedy, which, boruch Hashem, it won’t. That doesn’t make him a bad person. My husband, who is the most loving, caring and kind person, once left our baby in the car for about 3 minutes by accident. He was parking and got distracted and came inside. He was HORRIFIED. That’s when I realized that for the most part, when these things happen they are terrible, terrible accidents.
This is a reminder that we are all human, which means we make human errors. Something like this could happen to anyone.
Unless there is something we don’t know (like the father was drunk or had done this before, for example) , this Dad should not be locked up and the child should not be taken away. He is never going to make the same mistake. Nor is this about Mom being at work. Something like this could happen even if Mom was at home and moms have also been known to forget a child in the car.
Sleep deprivation, however, is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Being sleep deprived is like being drunk. Many in the frum world like to brag about being up late learning and being up at the crack of dawn or even pulling all nighters. You should not brag. You should be embarassed. Don’t kid yourselves. You need 7-8 hours a night even if it means a few hours less learning.
Mistakes happen and enough with the Gotch-ya government tactics. There was no intent to be neglectful. Yes we were lucky and we know what might have happened otherwise, but it’s a mistake. It’s called a שוגג.
What happened to this father could chas v’sholom happen to anyone, mother or father. It has happened to the most loving of mothers too. Anyone and everyone makes mistakes, we are only human. This has nothing to do with kollel, except that maybe in the z’chus of this father’s learning this baby survived. I am not endorsing negligence or irrespsonsibility in any way, shape or form, especially when it comes to pikuach nefesh but unfortunately but this is the reality.
Several years ago when this happened Rav Matisyahu shlita said over the following vort making reference to another incident like this. He asked why when someone looses something do we say the pasuk “hakol b’chezkas suma ad she yigaleh Hashem es anov”? He answered that really we are all blind. We only see what Hashem wants us to see. No one can blame a parent that this happens to unless they did it Intentionally.
My heart goes out to these parents but especially to the father who must be enduring the worst kind of guilt and pain. May Hashem give this baby a complete reruah shlama.
Be careful when accusing others and blaming them. Chas v’sholom no one knows what could happen to them.
I have an idea, maybe if you left something really important on the back seat, like your black hat, next to your child you wont forget to take the kid out when its time to leave the car.
One practical suggestion some moms have been doing is to leave their pocketbooks in the back seat. Perhaps the fathers could leave their tallis bags or something equivalent in the back seat as they buckle their child in, so they dont get out of the car without checking the back seat.
Most parents have had near misses at some point in their parenting. It’s presumptuous to assume this father is any different than most parents. We do our best and Daven that everyone’s safe. What more can you do?
What is a learning center, I never heard of this.
As for comparing the temperature to anything in North Miami beach, you must be kidding. If you are in South Florida you know how quicly a parked car heats up. yes, outdoors it might be in the 80’s but in a car WITH THE AC AND FANS TURNED OFF it exceeds 100 withing 8 minutes. Death can ensue.
Rachmonus on the wife who now realizes she must act as a single parent, do everything important herself, yet also worry about what her yutz husband messes up next.
I believe it was a mistake and it is time for someone to invent an alarm that beeps if the car seat is left locked and the car parked. Lives can be saved. I feel bad for the parents.
3 minutes is a terrible accident, this longer period is a tragedy. I hope but can not guarantee that all will end well.
When I first transported my kids myself in my car I felt the tremendous resposibility. Was the rush back to “learning Center” to shmuss so imprtant that he forgot everything else?
For those who said that mothers should not work, please explain how large families that must pay for private school tuitions are supposed to be self sufficient on one income? And, section 8, medicaid and other government benefits should not be part of the answer.
I do it every day, I leave kids for over an hour in a hot 120 degrees vehicle…
Ps. I am school bus driver and that’s what I do for a living.. Yes let’s start complain to the schools about it.. I think we are the last people who are not getting a/c in our vehicles..
Btw the bus driver stays there for 4-5 hours In a row
There is no excuse for leaving/forgetting a baby in a car even for a minute.
The father should have been at work supporting his wife and children; the wife should be at home looking after her children.
If the husband’s salary does not cover the family’s expenses then the wife may need to work part time.
This idea of men learning in Kollel and their wives being forced to hold down two jobs, one as a wife/mother/house-maker and the other in the public domain has got out of hand.
If a person is into truly learning, get up at 430am learn before davening and learn again in the evenings for 2-3 hours as was the practice in Europe before the war in all Kehillas.Further even the lunch-break can be utilized Daf HaYomi chazorah.
Full-time Kollel for life was always reserved for exceptional Talmidei Chachomim and Rabbonim.
With all due respect to bnei toireh and BMG. This is not the first time this happened. This goes along the lines of irresponsibility. It follows of the achrayes that if you’re in koilel, you’re hollier than thou, and chas vasholom you should lift a finger to shter your heilege sedorim and be mevatel torah or bittul zman. Taking care of minimal responsibilities is below you and unbeffiting for a kolel yungerman. Weather its lifting a finger or diapering a child or helping your wife out to take the kids or putting away sforim after you use them. Chas vesholom you should be expected to have the slightest sense of mentchlickait. Because you are a boy that was brought up by your mother that worships the ground you walk on and your every little desire has to be catered to, because that is the way you were raised. You were brought into this world to be a king and not to be occupied with anything that doesn’t paas you. When you get to go out on a date, make sure that you let your potential mate or date that you are miles above her and you can ridicule her that you are superior to her when in reality she is so much more mentch and learnt than you are. But neverthe less, you should be worshipped. Please don’t chas vesholom open a car door or any door for that matter because its not tznious and better yet maybe lazy and selfish. Perhaps narrow minded and foolish. And of course if she didn’t go to heilige seminary, she’s not worthy of the next lazy godol hador. Its time for you guys to step off your high throne and get down to reality, you have responsibilities in raising a family along with your wife, take care of your kids along with helping your wife. Get your head out of the sand and stop being so self centered and proclaiming yourselves as g-ds gift to mankind (or should I say-HUMANKIND) guys, you’ve lost it. Of course its nice to learn and sit in kolel and have your wives take care and run the house with a stitch of input on your behalf. Start respecting and treating other people with respect and diginity. Its called “TORAH IM DERECH ERETZ” Reb Shnair zalzal did not have this in mind when he pushed for the kolel movement.
I am appalled at some of the vicious comments here. The anti-Kollel remarks, the wishes for severe punishments, etc., are really disgusting and unwarranted. I am not the staunchest proponent of the Kollel life being for everyone, but the venom being spewed toward this father, unknown as an individual to all commenters, is inconsistent with Torah value.
Mistakes happen, and sometimes those mistakes are ones that have serious consequences. הנה לא ינום ולא יישן שומר ישראל. This unfortunate mistake needs to be a wakeup call to everyone to use better judgment, establish patterns that prevent these errors, and even use more responsibility in other aspects of life. No one should dismiss the severity of the event, but to take action that is punitive, assuming that this father is undeserving of having his children is worse than unfair.
i once left my mother in law in the back seat, and they arrested her
I would have agreed with all the nasty comments here ……. except it happened to me about two years ago…………new rutine.. distracted etc thank G-d it was only for like 20 min and child was sleeping the whole time ……… bottom line i beleive it could happen to anyone………my lesson was hard learnt i couldnt sleep for days….
I agree that criminal prosecution in a case like this is generally not warranted. The hapless shlemiel will have suffered enough and will have learned his lesson. Iy”h the child will be well and the family will see only nachas. However, I am struck by many of the comments posted on this story. I have a distinct feeling that if the sleep deprived/distracted/criminally negligent father were not mi-shelanu many of the posters would not be so forgiving.
I am the parent of a child who was left in a neighbor’s car who was doing car pool to her preschool, for the duration of the school day, because she fell asleep and the neighbor just pulled up to the play group location and assumed all the kids got out of her minivan. She then drove home parked in her driveway and went to work. My daughter woke up and cried until she fell asleep again. B”H it was only mid 40’s that day and aside for being traumatized my daughter was OK. My neighbor was horrified when she discovered her and treated her to a talking doll. It never dawned on me to file any report or claim against her, we were just so greatfull
for the Chesed of Hashem and put it behind us. The bottom line we must be alert when we put kids in a car and think about their safety.
Please also remember in this heat that children should not be left outside stores while mothers are clothing shopping or other shopping !
Just like you wouldn’t ever leave your pocketbook outside……………….. don’t leave your children they are much more precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m a kollel guy and I don’t blame all of u for being so jealous its a much more rewarding life
Yes, there are many comments that it was just a mistake….
Yet the Father probably is up to the minute on the latest fish chumra, would never make a mistake on those things, only forgetting his child.
What would you say to a parent who doesn’t check behind his car & accidentally runs over his toddler? You’d have him jailed too?
You’re insane.
I guess eisav soneh yaacov applies to jews also hating jews that r on higher levels than them now u all could understand where anti semitism comes from its the same kinah that u have to kollel people
This could happen to anyone, even me and you. B”H the child was found and able to be saved, many others aren’t as lucky. I just read an article in parenting magazine about this, and they were describing how such a thing can really happen to anyone, especially an overtired parent who is not used to dropping a child off and if the child is quiet or too short to be seen. A good idea for ladies, one that I will start doing iyh is putting a purse near the baby so you always see the baby when you get your purse.
Come on! you cannot be so judgmental .
This can happen to anybody in the world, it is an onesh!
Meaning , that H made this tragedy to happen for a reaon only known to him.
May H save the child and the father and bring them only happinness and blessings in all their endeavors
this poor man made a terrible mistake and will suffer with guilt and pain for the rest of his life. why must all of you judge him so harshly?
how about all the williamsburg mommies who leave their babies ALONE in strollers outside of shops?!??
It happened to us. As a couple. With a newborn baby. For a few steps away from the car only… but it just humbled us… and taught us it can happen to ANYONE.
Just learn a lesson from this story…. and stop condeming. Just BE VERY CAREFUL with your own children/babies. And pray that such a thing never happens to you, or ANYONE.
1. They now sell in Lakewood -child backseat alarms. Everyone should buy one.
2. Everyone should know CPR & First Aid.
ok, i dont doubt that the father left the child there accidentaly.
i dont think it has anything to do with him being a kollel guy either.
what i do find frightening is that people mom or dad can ”forget” that their child is in the car.whether u have 1 child or 10 children…this is frightening.
every driver with kids needs to check the back and the back back of the mini vans before locking up.
either that or do a count like they do in school trips.know how many you left the hosue with and make sure u have them all at all times.
i have ADD & i ” important things totaly slip my mind” its very challenging its not about laziness i now take concerta 27 & it helps my head stayed glued togethor
as a father i can see it happening to me although i hope it never does
you people are all crazy!!! thank h-m that the kid is alright and hopefully everyone will take this as a lesson to be very careful when they leave their car. To go say that he should be locked up is totally wrong.
I just posted some information in my previous post about a car seat safety alarm. if you do not want to have any other websites commented abt on your website, please let people know that there are car seat safety devices out there that are very practical and not expensive. maybe together we can help save even one life.
The comments here are reflecting the kollel guy that is “mamash mufka” walks around aimlessly, thinking in learning and “poshut” doesn’t remember mundane things. That is the image that people are associating with a yungerman that forgets to drop off his kid at the babysitter before seder.
Sure it can happen to anyone, and its not right to stereotype, but….
Hey, I left my first kid sleeping in the backseat in the ShopRite parking lot. She was sleeping and I forgot that she was there after a long drive. My wife and I both left our 4th kid in the car when we went in to open school night at my son’s school. Again, she was sleeping and we both forgot she was there. Both were honest mistakes. Don’t be so harsh on this poor guy.
nobody here believes in hashem? even if he would’ve checked the car he wouldn’t have seen the child its all min hashamayim and out of our hands. to me this is so obvious otherwise its just impossible to happen.
As a parent I feel it is wrong to put blame on the individual. No person would ever Leave the child alone in a car. Humans forget things and it can happen 9hildren fall asleep and you forget that they are there. May the community daven that this man be released from prison and allowed to continue raising his children.