“ My sister-in-law is pregnant and will be a bridesmaid at my weeding. Rather than it being an "ayin harah" I view it as a very positive siman that we will have many children soon. Some of these minhagim are totally counterintuitive and make no sense and you will be able to find a rav who will agree with your deicsions in this regard. Pregnancy is a gift from hashem, not somthing to hide and be embarrassed about. ”

“ having ur sis in law as a bridesmaid is something u r choosing to do...the reason the escort of the chosson or kalla shouldnt be showing in pregnancy is because a couple, 2, not a triple, walk the chosson and kalla down...everyone else is for 'show'. ”

“ My sister-in-law is pregnant and will be a bridesmaid at my weeding. Rather than it being an "ayin harah" I view it as a very positive siman that we will have many children soon. Some of these minhagim are totally counterintuitive and make no sense and you will be able to find a rav who will agree with your deicsions in this regard. Pregnancy is a gift from hashem, not somthing to hide and be embarrassed about. ”

“ Some say this and some say that for all the examples. Ask your Rav and spare us these postings. ”

“ When my parents got married over 40 years ago they had the daughters of various Choshiv Chasidishe Rebbas as flower girls. They were told by my father's Rosh Yeshiva that this minhag is from the times of the Bais Hamikdash when little girls would walk down the aise in the Bais Hamikdash.
So things that we think are Chukas Hagoyim - are sometimes our minhagim that were then hijacked by non jews. ”

“ Divorced parents as is common today- A divorced couple should not walk under the chupah
as the Chupa symbolizes yichud and they are ossu in yichud. Many divorced couples
walk down the aisle but prior to going under the chupa, another couple or the grandparents take over. This issur is regardless if they march couples or men with choson andwomen with Kallah. First divorcing parents are assur to walk UNDER Chupah. Second mariiage couples who were divorced or widowed may go but it is not a simmon brocho.
A divorced woman may walk (either by couple or same gender ) if she is married again to a bochur or never married woman or her brother , son, or father.
So, a divorced couple can walk toward the chupah but taking her under the chupah should be another couple, relatives but if divorced husband stays outside the canopy mother can reume walking around with daughter as long as husband stays outside canopy. Where there is a will there is a way!! ”

“ "At the wedding of Adom and Chavah two angels escorted them." - This is a medrash. Adom and Chavah did not have a "wedding". The medrash is trying to telling us something, but I doubt that it's this. ”

“ I’m sorry to burst everyones bubble but it is highly unlikely that this is the source for using candles. It really makes no sense. If the reason for candles is because it equals 500 eivarim I am sure there are many things that equal that number and would more precisely equal 496, why not walk down with them? The reason for this “Minhag” and most Minhagim are because of necessity, in this case they had no electricity in the days gone by and Chasunas were at night, how else would they see where they were going? It is only after these customs were around people in retrospect apply cute ideas of what the “Minhag” may be compared to. Another example is the “Minhag” (quotes intentional) in many Shteiblach where Mincha Shabbos the Baal Koreah wears a Tallis, the person going Hagbah wears a Talis but the Oleh and the Golel don’t. I have heard many ingenious and cute reasons for this “Minhag”. In reality it is clear that they didn’t have many Talisim in Shul for Mincha so only one could be used at a time. Another example is why (with the exception of Minhag Ashkenaz – German, and Sefardim) men not married don’t wear a Talis. Why? What other Mitzva do we find like this? Again, if you look historically, Talisim in Europe were very expensive so it became part of the Nadin that was given to the Choson, There are many Chasidisha stories about the Shlepper who needed to raise money for the Schnieder to make a Talis for the Choson. Of course there are many reasons given for this Minhag but again, they are applied after the custome was accepted for “practical” reasons and nothing to do with the explanations. I am not saying that Minhagim should not be followed, but we should understand the source. ”

“ Very interesting! I have never heard this before. Is it possible you can quote a source for this? (-just interested, not disputing what you are saying) ”

“ i agree with the candles, but the minhag with the talleisim and only married men wearing them has to do with an attempt by the rabbonei lita to help a shidduch crisis back then, it was hard for people to tell who was married and who was not, so they decided it was worth removing the mitzvah of talis gadol so that the crisis at that time be decreased, and it worked! ”

“ מכחיש מגידיה is an apikores. What makes you think Adam and Chava didn't have a wedding? ”

“ Hmmm. who pray tell would have been the Eidim? ”

“ Aren't candles just an inyan of kovod?
(The theory that they were needed for light doesn't make much sence as what will 2 candles help?)
Either way we know that minhag yisroel torah and just because we don't know the reason behind a minhag and then are satisfied with the reason doesn't mean that you can press a delete button
Its playing with fire to tamper with minhagim our gedoilei yisroel for 100s of years have had no problem with and now we are suddenly smarter and need to change them
(Unless the minhag is in conflict with halacha then you can ask your rov what to do.) ”

“ What's wrong with melachim. Hakodosh Boruch Hu was the mesader kidushin. ”

“ Some say this and some say that for all the examples. Ask your Rav and spare us these postings. ”

“ The think with the candles is a Chassidishe custom. However, as we know, many Litvaks with inferiority complexes (as well as Baalei Teshuva with no cuch mesorra) have decided to adopt Chassidishe minhagim like candles, Gebrokhts, and upshirin. Live and let live, and I guess some people somehow think these things are cute, nice, romantic, spiritual, etc. But let's be intellectually honest enough to understand that people are picking and choosing these practices. Those of us who remain faithful to family minhagim which are consistent with our heritage of hundreds of years are not any less frum than those who pick the flavor of the month of whatever is popular. ”

“ #15: A man has 248 eivarim, a woman 252. therfore it equals 500 not 496. The author quotes that this is brought down in many seforim, not that it is the only reason.
It was very common in Europe for Chasunahs to take place on FRIDAY Afternoon, therefore candles were not necessary. ”

“ I’m sorry to burst everyones bubble but it is highly unlikely that this is the source for using candles. It really makes no sense. If the reason for candles is because it equals 500 eivarim I am sure there are many things that equal that number and would more precisely equal 496, why not walk down with them? The reason for this “Minhag” and most Minhagim are because of necessity, in this case they had no electricity in the days gone by and Chasunas were at night, how else would they see where they were going? It is only after these customs were around people in retrospect apply cute ideas of what the “Minhag” may be compared to. Another example is the “Minhag” (quotes intentional) in many Shteiblach where Mincha Shabbos the Baal Koreah wears a Tallis, the person going Hagbah wears a Talis but the Oleh and the Golel don’t. I have heard many ingenious and cute reasons for this “Minhag”. In reality it is clear that they didn’t have many Talisim in Shul for Mincha so only one could be used at a time. Another example is why (with the exception of Minhag Ashkenaz – German, and Sefardim) men not married don’t wear a Talis. Why? What other Mitzva do we find like this? Again, if you look historically, Talisim in Europe were very expensive so it became part of the Nadin that was given to the Choson, There are many Chasidisha stories about the Shlepper who needed to raise money for the Schnieder to make a Talis for the Choson. Of course there are many reasons given for this Minhag but again, they are applied after the custome was accepted for “practical” reasons and nothing to do with the explanations. I am not saying that Minhagim should not be followed, but we should understand the source. ”

“ The think with the candles is a Chassidishe custom. However, as we know, many Litvaks with inferiority complexes (as well as Baalei Teshuva with no cuch mesorra) have decided to adopt Chassidishe minhagim like candles, Gebrokhts, and upshirin. Live and let live, and I guess some people somehow think these things are cute, nice, romantic, spiritual, etc. But let's be intellectually honest enough to understand that people are picking and choosing these practices. Those of us who remain faithful to family minhagim which are consistent with our heritage of hundreds of years are not any less frum than those who pick the flavor of the month of whatever is popular. ”

“ is it not true that many litvishe people come from chasidishe yichus back in europe ? many simply want to cannect to that through these minhagim. ”

“ מכחיש מגידיה is an apikores. What makes you think Adam and Chava didn't have a wedding? ”

“ There is a minhag to light candles at a bris - a bris is only done by day when there is no need for candles so what's the reason there? ”

“ There is a minhag to light candles at a bris - a bris is only done by day when there is no need for candles so what's the reason there? ”

“ מכחיש מגידיה is an apikores. What makes you think Adam and Chava didn't have a wedding? ”

“ Aren't candles just an inyan of kovod?
(The theory that they were needed for light doesn't make much sence as what will 2 candles help?)
Either way we know that minhag yisroel torah and just because we don't know the reason behind a minhag and then are satisfied with the reason doesn't mean that you can press a delete button
Its playing with fire to tamper with minhagim our gedoilei yisroel for 100s of years have had no problem with and now we are suddenly smarter and need to change them
(Unless the minhag is in conflict with halacha then you can ask your rov what to do.) ”

“ The entourage of a King consists of many people, not just 1 person on either side of him. What happened then to the Minhag of many people walking ahead of the Choson and then the Kallah, as a sign of their chashivus. Why are the Chosson and Kallah rushed to the Chuppah? ”