New York, NY - To Marry Off Son, Mom Yenta Launches Website |
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News Source: NY Post
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New York, NY - It’s every Jewish mother’s dream to find her catch of a son the perfect woman, but one mom just one-upped J-Date by employing the internet as her son’s matchmaker. She’s taken meddling motherhood to a whole new level.
Geri Brin is so anxious to marry off her 31-year-old son Colby, she’s launched a Web site where she and other parents can find perfect matches for their single kids.
“I’ve been fixing my son up for about five years,” said Geri, an Internet entrepreneur who works with Colby on the Upper East Side.
“I even set him up with the saleswoman at the upholsterer I used to re-cover my sofa. I figured I might as well cast a wide net to increase his odds of finding the right woman since he’s not hitting the jackpot on his own.”
Colby is not at all surprised by his mother’s latest project.
“One thing about my mom,” Colby joked, “she has perseverance. I can picture her on her death bed . . . choking out the words, ‘Colby, did you call that girl?’ before fading into darkness.”
“Literally,” he said, “if she hears of a single woman, she’ll mention it to me. It’s almost like a synapse in her brain that’s been conditioned to automatically fire.”
Once his mother set him up with her dental hygienist’s friend’s daughter.
He schlepped all the way to Queens, like “Indiana Jones on a great adventure, hoping for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,” he recalled
He was greeted by a father who initially slammed the door in his face and a date wearing “makeup two inches thick.”
Colby isn’t the least bit embarrassed about being fixed up by his mom.
“Look, I’m a Jewish guy who grew up in New York,” he said.
“Obviously, I’m a momma’s boy. Who are you kidding?”
Besides Geri’s personal interest in the site, she believes it’s a unique business opportunity.
“I thought, yeah, I’m starting a whole Web site and investing hundreds of thousands of dollars just to fix my son up,” she laughed.
So far, she’s attracted 20 parents and their adult kids to sign up. One of them is Susan Grant, a merchandising manager for a jewelry showroom. She said the beauty of the site is that it’s the moms doing the setting up.
“All the kids have to do is roll their eyes and blame mom for getting them involved,” she said.
Starting today, any other parents looking to marry off their kids can play matchmaker by clicking the “Date My Single Kid” link
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Read Comments (33) — Post Yours »
1
Jul 13, 2010 at 08:37 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Time to do shidduchem the chassidisha way. when I told my father as an 19 year old girl after he set me up with a boy and he wanted to anounce the engagment after two dates " tatty I don't know well enough" he answered "I know him and that's all what matters". boy was he right!! I couldn't have gotten anything better then my husband. we need to marry the kids off when they are young if not we are inviting trouble.
2
Jul 13, 2010 at 08:38 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Colby, do yourself a favor,save up sme money (not dating ) and get an apartment of your own .
3
Jul 13, 2010 at 08:58 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Colby, do yourself a favor,save up sme money (not dating ) and get an apartment of your own . ”
Why not dating? he is lucky to have a mother to do all that for him!
4
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:02 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world .
5
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:22 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Why not dating? he is lucky to have a mother to do all that for him! ”
'He is lucky' .She is ruining his life .
6
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:45 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
agree- when you trust in Hashem- He gets the best one for you- when you do it yourself- you dont get half as good- i was also set up as an 18 yr. old girl and Baruch Hashem...
7
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:48 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world . ”
who said its 'old fashioned'? who decides whats the fashion?
8
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:55 PM STOP GENERALIZING! Says:Report as Inappropriate
for someone raised in a chasidishe environment the system of relatively arranged marriages works. for someone raised in a less secluded, homogeneous environment it is critical that the boy and girl get to know each and become comfortable with one another before tying the knot.
9
Jul 13, 2010 at 09:56 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Is he a shomer shabbos? maybe I have a girl for him. When he finally does get married will he still be tied to his mother's apron strings? Will she still try to run his life? He sounds good natured enough about his mother's efforts.
10
Jul 13, 2010 at 10:18 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
He''l be tied to her computer , not her apron strings .
11
Jul 13, 2010 at 10:31 PM bigwheeel Says:Report as Inappropriate
Now, (that his mother set up a website) Colby's chances of finding a girl to marry are even slimmer. It's like having someone riding a bike with training wheels at 31. The minute his "Mommy" will stop breathing down his neck his chances of marrying will improve tremendously. Who in their right mind wants to have their "Shvigger" in sight 24/7?!
12
Jul 13, 2010 at 10:39 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Not everyone has the luxury of marrying young. Not everyone has the luxury of parents to look out for them and help them find a shidduch, There is a real shidduch problem affecting all of us, and it's not only because someone is "too picky". If this website can bring even one couple together then Kol Hakavod.
13
Jul 13, 2010 at 10:42 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
A mother is a mother ! she cares for her children . she hugs & loves. and when you need to be disciplined ,she doesn't hesitate to lower your pants & undies and spank your bare bottom , because she loves & means your good !
14
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:13 AM rebbetzin hockstein Says:Report as Inappropriate
match dot mom.....priceless!
15
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:32 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world . ”
Will you please cite these studies for me? Have these chassidishe and modern orthodox married couples been interviewed to determine which are happier? And how exactly were they rated? What scale was used? You also say that the divorce rate is higher in the modern orthodox world, where can I find the study that backs your comments? I'd also like to know where you get your 94% and 60% statistics from.
16
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:41 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
The heimish system is good for those who their parents know or care what they need
17
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:47 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ A mother is a mother ! she cares for her children . she hugs & loves. and when you need to be disciplined ,she doesn't hesitate to lower your pants & undies and spank your bare bottom , because she loves & means your good ! ”
Watch it, that would be sexual abuse
18
Jul 14, 2010 at 02:29 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world . ”
You conducted these studies yourself or a self proclaimed chasidishe "scientist" conducted these studies? In simple terms Chasidishe marriages "work" because it's lehavdil like standardized puppy mill. Pair up a couple and they'll have children no ifs,ends, or buts. In the rest of the functioning world, people have to socialize on personal level, understand each-others psychology and there needs to be compatibility which is much more complex in nature than in chasidishe world where it's like the military--just follow orders and manuals. I doubt chasidishe women or men are even allowed to express their dissatisfactions openly and honestly, let alone to an outsider study about their lives.
19
Jul 14, 2010 at 02:56 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world . ”
There is a rather sensible middle ground between MO "parties" and Chassidish arranged marriages. Traditional observant Jews, as the predominantly Chassidish clientele on this site may not know, are also arranged Shidduchim. But the potential groom and bride make their own respective decisions as to whether they wish to marry.
Since they typically marry later than 18/19 (but not more than a few years later, typically), both are usually more advanced in their learning and/or (lihavdil) parnassah studies (college) than if they'd be only a year out of high school. And they can decide on their own if they wish to make a life-long commitment to each other, rather than the decision being forced on them by someone else, even if that someone else is a loving parent.
Divorce rate is also only part of the picture. What about abusive/troubled/unfaithful marriages? What is the combined percentage of both in Chassidish arranged marriages versus that percentage in the traditional orthodox world?
I am not at all convinced, by your assertion, that the combined percentage is higher in the latter, so I don't believe that the Chassidish way is universally appropriate. Perhaps it is in some sectors.
20
Jul 14, 2010 at 07:19 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
maybe we should use this website for making matches as well.
it would be the VIN shidduch line
21
Jul 14, 2010 at 07:22 AM kalmy Says:Report as Inappropriate
To #13 . my mom rarely (or rear-ly) took down the pants , but when you were placed over her knees , you knew you're not gonna sit comfortably for quite a bit !!! her hands could penitrate even a dozen pairs of underpants !
22
Jul 14, 2010 at 07:24 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Watch it, that would be sexual abuse ”
my mommy gave PETCH only over the pants !
23
Jul 14, 2010 at 08:42 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
potching is not sexual abuse....if you abuse those potches, thats child abuse...get ur abuses straight....there's physical and mental and emotional too....
24
Jul 14, 2010 at 09:03 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Why don't you all know that marriage is not about socializing and getting to know each other, marriage was and will always be a "task" where you need to work on your middos. Getting together with your prospective partner for long period of times leads only to fights and to know each others reall inner-self. If they are married both know that they are bound together and they "have" to work on each other, but before marriage hard feelings errupt, and it's very hard to wash it off. Hashem gave these special love ingredients for married people that live under one roof, not for those that are together periodically or talk on the phone, many bad things come out. I didn't even mention all the sins that come out from these people that are together 12-24 months before marriage to socialize...more that it' written here can be said.....
25
Jul 14, 2010 at 09:09 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
Her idea is very pro-active and may even be better than my thought of putting my unmarried son on Ebay
26
Jul 14, 2010 at 09:47 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ Studies have shown the marriage happines rate is just as higher if not higher in the chasidash world as in the modern orthodox, in fact the devorce rate is higher in the M.O. world. I think that alone is enough to convince me that the whole dating/mingling/eating out/partying 10 + times with 30 + diffrent girls is at best a waste of time/years if not a whole of truckload of small/big aveiros. So my friends is time to take a good hard look about going back to the "old fashioned" way where the married rate for someone at 30 is above 94% as opposed to the 60% rate in the M.O. world . ”
can't this mother live her son alone ???
seriously mothers leave your son do their own choice, don't force them to bring the girl YOU want for him, but the girl HE wants for HIM !
27
Jul 14, 2010 at 10:14 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
a higher divorce rate is not enough to convince me of anything. a higher divorce rate to me means many women still fear getting divorced. just because a couple is married does NOT mean they are doing so happily. b"h many many many couples ARE happily married, but please dont use statistics as proof. until you go behind closed doors with a good percentage of married couples (which i sincerely hope you never do) you dont REALLY know whats going on. married, yes.....happily? only they know.
28
Jul 14, 2010 at 10:21 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ The heimish system is good for those who their parents know or care what they need ”
i care what my children need, and i also understand that my children are not all the same, b"h, and each one will find his/her match in the right way for them. to say EVERYONE should do it ONE way is just plain naive. to say that people who do it other ways dont care is mean and hurtful to those who think another way will work better for them. besides, just because one is a parent, that does not mean that they automatically know what is best for their kids when it comes to shiduchim. what about all of those parents who turn down a shiduch because something doesnt pas for the family, but the person in shiduchim would be perfectly fine with it? or the opposite- parents who are ok with something that the person in shiduchim is not?
29
Jul 14, 2010 at 11:18 AM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ You conducted these studies yourself or a self proclaimed chasidishe "scientist" conducted these studies? In simple terms Chasidishe marriages "work" because it's lehavdil like standardized puppy mill. Pair up a couple and they'll have children no ifs,ends, or buts. In the rest of the functioning world, people have to socialize on personal level, understand each-others psychology and there needs to be compatibility which is much more complex in nature than in chasidishe world where it's like the military--just follow orders and manuals. I doubt chasidishe women or men are even allowed to express their dissatisfactions openly and honestly, let alone to an outsider study about their lives. ”
In simple terms Chasidishe marriages "work" because it's lehavdil like standardized puppy mill. Pair up a couple and they'll have children no ifs,ends, or buts
Give me a break! Making yourself a fool and trying to impress some immature young girl by picking her up for a date and trying so hard not to spill that cocktail so she thinks your the greatest man?! I wonder how many dates it took you to find the girl of your dreams, or better yet, she found the man of her dreams?!
30
Jul 14, 2010 at 11:45 AM Davidoff Says:Report as Inappropriate
The reason Chassidishe marriges have a considerable lower rate of divorce, is mainly since many if the fundemental core issues that eventually break a marrige is "pre-settled" as the parties come from almost the very same upbringing, lifestyle, costumes, dress code, minhogim, traditions, and the way they wish to run their life and the kids upbringing is very close from the start, particular in chassidishe couples the parents won't look to marry their kids into a different chassidus run by a different "holy-rebbe" other then their own, if at all possible, in addition, the notion of divorce is seen as a last option, and only after exhausting all possible remedies to keep the marrige going with the assistance and direct involment of Family, extended family, Rabbis, Roshi Yeshivos, thearapists, counslers, freinds,etc., only after all fails divorce becomes an option, support that is given and readilly available in these communities are unfortunatly not so handy in the non chassidishe communities, and the "americanazation" of the value of marrige in the jewish communities other then chassidishe is also a factor, couples with the fact the both parties are for the most part not exactly molded the same way from the start, that's why the contrast of the divorce rates among the different communities.
As far as "Happy Marriges" there is really no way of judging as to what happens within the confines of the walls of a Home, it is an invalid argument to say that frum people are limited or too busy to have deep loving, commited, and happy relationships, just beacuse they don't go out so much and don't have TV or internet in their homes for the most part, I can't remember a study claiming that that part of social time killing makes people happy or strenghtens marriges,I happen to have a few close chassidishe freinds that seem to be very happliy married with a certain glee that I find it more seldom otherwise, go figure, but in no way will I accept that chassidishe people don't have great furfiling deep bonded marriges, enough of my drushu already. Enjoy
31
Jul 14, 2010 at 03:02 PM cub fan Says:Report as Inappropriate
sounds like his mother is more concerned about becoming a schviger, and she will make someone besides her son's life bad, pity the boy, perhaps you should move out find a job, and have an unlisted phone number, good luck...
32
Jul 14, 2010 at 10:46 PM Miss Williamsburg Says:Report as Inappropriate
“ You conducted these studies yourself or a self proclaimed chasidishe "scientist" conducted these studies? In simple terms Chasidishe marriages "work" because it's lehavdil like standardized puppy mill. Pair up a couple and they'll have children no ifs,ends, or buts. In the rest of the functioning world, people have to socialize on personal level, understand each-others psychology and there needs to be compatibility which is much more complex in nature than in chasidishe world where it's like the military--just follow orders and manuals. I doubt chasidishe women or men are even allowed to express their dissatisfactions openly and honestly, let alone to an outsider study about their lives. ”
Just because #4 made a comment that cannot be proven and is not true doesn't mean you have to respond with a comment that isn't true either.
Every community has their fair share of happy and unfortunately unhappy marriages.
Your comment about Chassidishe marriages working like a puppy mill or that only in the rest of the world people socialize on a personal level and there it's just like a military is just as baseless as comment #4.
33
Jul 16, 2010 at 02:56 PM Anonymous Says:Report as Inappropriate
why is the link to the website not included? i found it anyway but what is the point of that?