Monsey, NY – Today, the talmidim of Yeshiva Darchei Noam, where I serve as Dean, moved into our new building after living in rented quarters for 11 years so you can well imagine how hectic things were in my office yesterday.
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Amid all the activity yesterday, I fielded several anguished calls from my dear chaver and colleague Dr. Benzion Twerski describing the pressure he was undergoing and the harassment that his family members were undergoing as a result of his courageous efforts to help reverse the frightening and growing abuse statistics in our community.
I have had the privilege of interacting with Reb Benzion many hundreds of times over the past 11 years as I’ve sought his guidance in dealing with the abuse cases that have come my way. I would like to inform those who do not know him that he is a genuine talmid chochom, a true chassid, and an osek b’tzarchei tzibur b’emunah (one who selflessly devotes himself to communal needs) in every sense of the word. I am proud to call him a friend and I am inspired by his devotion to the children of our community.
I must admit that after hearing Reb Benzion describe the details of the threats he and his family members were receiving, I advised him to resign from the position he had assumed due to the very very real harassment that he and his family members were undergoing. I felt that he almost had no choice due to the circumstances.
What an olam hafuch we have created. A decent, caring mental health professional who has devoted his life to helping Yiddishe kinder is terrorized while evil monsters like Avrohom Mondrowitz and others like him live peaceful lives in our communities. One week ago, I published a column on this subject in the Jewish Press, Lm’aan Hashem — What Will it Take?.
Here is a quote from the article:
“Is there any more sacred obligation than protecting the children entrusted to our care? Shame on us, for failing to treat it as such. Shame on us, for allowing ourselves to repeatedly get distracted with meaningless and often silly non-issues raised by self-appointed “askanim” that purport to pose spiritual risk to our children while our paramount communal responsibility to keep evil people from destroying the physical and spiritual lives of our children keeps getting bumped to the back burner.”
Well, to this I add: Shame on those who harassed a wonderful member of our community like Dr. Twerski. You have the blood of future abuse victims on your hands – kids who could have been saved by the initiatives that Dr. Twerski would have implemented.
And shame on all of us for allowing such an olam hafuch to be perpetuated.
Rabbi Horowitz criticizes “self-appointed askanim,” Dov Hikind and Nuchem Rosenberg are self-appointed askanim, acting without the guidance of even a single Rov.
Rabbi Horowitz: I have tremendous respect for you and what you’ve done. I agree with you! Any ideas to change Rabbi Twerski’s decision?
If our community doesn’t want rapists and molesters, we have to throw them out. If we don’t we are inviting them in, and giving them access to our children.
abc Says:
comments – arrow Rabbi Horowitz criticizes “self-appointed askanim,” Dov Hikind and Nuchem Rosenberg are self-appointed askanim, acting without the guidance of even a single Rov.
09-10-2008 – 7:16 PM
when will it get into you head the rov’s do nothing in these cases. they shut the victim up and protect the molesters. Or, have you been away for the last 20 years. The rov’s in the frum communities knew about these molesters for years.
There are cases of the victim being threatened by rov’s not to out the molester and did nothing to the molester at all.
Yes go to the rov’s, the molester will thank you for eternity.
To all the geniuses who don’t understand the situation let me offer this. Kolhamikayim nefesh ACHAS! ACHAS! I have seen many , many chassidish, young Israel, and yeshivish men and women who suffer from various addictions in our society here and in Israel. They, their wives children , parents,
are suffering too and also need coping help.
Most of this epidemic (NEFESH ACHAS!) rely on churches and other catholic organizations for help.
Countless others suffer with no respite because they wont go into the only refuge a church .
The chassidish, yeshivisher and modern Orthodox has failed these lost nefoshos due their “under the rug sweeping attitude.” Mdarf nisht vyzin unzer shmutzige vesh.” Shame on all of u for harrasing Rabbi Twerski- Where is the Das torah and Rebbes/ Of I forgot -they are worrried about separate seating concerts! buckles on womens shoes! and guitars and saxaphones at weddings, concerts and Lipa schmeltzer while complete silence on helping dying nefoshos who are to embarrased to go to Catrholic churchres.. This is like the chassidisher Rebbes in Monsey who for many years counseled young couples to GIVE away their down syndrome children to Goyish agencies.. Why not kill them the way the Romanian
govt did? Hiding the truth about all these drug. sexual . alchohol and gambling addictions by keeping their mouths shut makes them GUILTY of the sins . Does anyone remember the quiet the Doctors who kept quiet about a veru ill woman abusing her kids??? SHAA! Shtill. SHE KILLED HER CHILD ON YOM KIPPUR AND THIS ILL WOMAN UNFORTUUNTELY SAT YEARS IN JAIL ALSO UNFAIR DUE TO HER ILLNESS AND THE CHASIDISHER REBBES ALOS ARE GUILTY OF MURDER BECUASE THEY KNEW AS THE DOCTORS DID. MY SON WAS MOLESTED AND I GAVE HIM HELP AND B”H WE WORKED AND HE HAS B”H 4 children and a nachas beyond my wildest dreams. WHERE ARE U REBBES AND ROSHEI YESHIVA TO RALL BEHIND RABBI TWERSKI?/ How many of your students have been molested??? U don’t know and u don’t want to know because LIPA IS MORE IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!
An Open letter to Rabbi Benzion Twerski
Dear Benzion,
The Torah says “Al Todin Es Chavercha Ad Shetagia Limkomo” so I can not second guess your difficult decision and I commend you for having tried to deal with our “AM KSHEY OREF”.
However, I find myself bewildered, wondering how you or anyone of us (me included) can sleep at night, while we attempt to “rationalize” to ourselves imagining that “my conscience is clear entering the days of selichos and yemai hadin”.
How can anyones “conscience be clear” when we know the truth that we have just abandoned innocent Neshomos to abuse – why? To save ourselves from being abused on the street by the “Am Kshey Oref” who are in FEAR and don’t want the problem fixed.
We are a people who have had 6 Million of our brothers and sisters abandoned to abuse and much worse, while the entire world turned their back on us because “they didn’t want to get involved” and “couldn’t take the heat”.
If I was in your shoes, perhaps I couldn’t take the heat either.
But I also could not sleep at night, never mind say “my conscience is clear” when I know that i just turned my back on all the Yiddishe Neshomos who continue to be abused RIGHT NOW, as we speak and we DO NOTHING about it, because we have to “save our own skin”!
My dear Freind, U might not be subjected to the type of Rishes certain elements in our midst are capable of as it would be wise not to elaborate.
Rabbi Twerski’s empathy is continuous as he states very clearly. His “conscience is clear” because there are times one must make painful decisions
regardless of the implications it has. Making the right decision for himself under the circumstances is what he is referring to not the difficulty or lack of feeling the pain of others. If it has affected him and his family “he made the right descision. One must first save themselves at all times my freind
To Ryan:
I did not Chas Vesholom want to criticize anyone and certainly not Rabbi Twersky.
The Musar I speak of, I say to myself and to anyone who can identify with how I feel.
We must never forget that during world war II all the countries who turned their backs and allowed Jews to continue to be abused, also did so because “they had to worry about themselves first” and if they got involved in the war against Evil, it would cost their own country “casualties of war”.
So were they right or wrong?
I ask you!
I don’t doubt for a second, how severly Rishus’dig some people can be against those who want to “do things right”. However, it is precisely for this very reason, precisely BECAUSE of this extreme Rishus by the elements who refuse to allow “change” to take place, that unless we (i.e. me and you and everyone else) will have MESIRAS NEFESH, then we may as well Kiss Our Children Goodbye, Chas Vesholom.
I’m sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but no loving parent would ever consider “saving their own skin” while leaving their OWN CHILD, at risk of abuse.
Why is it so different if it’s someone else child instead of our own?
And the scariest question is: How can you be so sure that it would not be your very own child NEXT?
If it was a matter of saving OUR OWN CHILD from abuse, would we also surrender to the Rishus?
so now we’re left to create a tummel ourselves.
let’s create a blog & publish ALL the names of these molesters & abusers. Give the address, phone #’s & place of work. let’s hang it out to dry!
B”H
We need a good ‘strong’ group of men who will protect and work with the great Reb Benzion Twersky.
Anyone who threatens or harrasses such an ‘askan,’ or others like him would then be very afraid to harm him.
Rabbi Horowitz I do not feel ashamed about a situation I can not control. I am embarrased though to be a frum Jew and to be associated with this community in light of these allegations. I am also regretting to have for much of my life had Emunas Chachomim in our Rabbonim from all streams of Orthodoxy. Unfortunately the silence of the rabbinic leadership on this issue is deafening. The silence is demoralizing. The silence demonstrates a reality that can not be ignored.The Emperor has no clothes. We have all been collectively raped.
I guess u didn’t read what I wrote very carefully.
Dov hikind had a show this winter with five williamsburgh women who spoke of their husbands addictions and how no one in the families or shul kehilla wanted to help them. Even their children abused these couageous anonymopus women for appearing on the radio discussing this problem-They lost their children for just talking about it let alone no help.
I wrote that the families because of busha (like their kehilla) and th non existence of Heimish care are left to fend for themselves. Many find it easier to look aside “for the mishpachas sake and shidduchim” than acknowledge the problem.
Rabbi twerski needs to thi nk of his family and as the silence of the rabbonim and mechanchim and families is indicative of under the rug mentality
Rabbi Twerski needs to look out for his family first. Everyhing has a price and sometimes we need to first help ourselves as the kehilla and most families with this problem have not!!
I believe u are very sincere and beshaymus but just as we all need protection from these sick people and (they need help too) so does Rabbi Twerskis family from the other sick harrassing individuals and egotistical self serving Rebbes and Mechanchim who have always put their money and ego ahead of talking to the children about this. Do u know how many frum women today , not having husbands available (because of the shidduch crisis and no men) are having children as single moms?? Has anyone in the OU or mechnchim really acknowledged this new phenomena in the frum world. No! Lipa and segregated concerts are the main issue ! And their egos and economic interests are at heart. How about the Yeshiva childrens Secular curriculum being the worst in the country. They now charge extra (like tuition is not enough) for seculAR CLASSES AT THE END OF THE DAY. hEY WAKE UP! tHAT IS ALSO A FORM OF EDUCATIONAL mOLESTATION! Basic math, science and english. When they all start to steal u wil try to remeber the molesting mechanchim who are crippling the future of these kids. Please don’t forget when they want a guest of honor or schnorer they come most often to the college educated parents. That too is molesting our tyere neshomilach!! How about frum people who deal with being Gay? Does anyone really believe it doesn’t exist in our community and what rav has spoken about JONAH- an organization to help them . U don’t even know what it is??? do you. Rabbi Twerski knows! Because he cares regardless of his decision. He CARES!
TO ABC
WHO DECIDES WHO IS AN ASKAN
THE YATED?
AN ASKAN IS SOMEONE WHO DOES FOR THE KLAL WITHOUT EXPECTING SOMETING IN RETURN
WE SAY IT IN THE ME SHBERACH EVERY SHABBOS
NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS A ROV
IT DOESNT SAY IN SHULCHAN ORACH THAT EVVERYTIME BEFORE YOU BLOW YOUR NOSE YOU NEED TO ASK A RAV
BUT IT DOES SAY ” HABAH LEHORGECHA HASKAIM VHORGOI
AND IT DOESNT ONLY MEAN MURDER IN THE PHYSICAL SENSE WHEN SONMEONE MOLESTS A CHILD HE HAS DESTROYED HIM FOR LIFE
ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE ALREADY
RABBIS HOROWIZ TWERSKEY AND OTHERS HAVE THE EXPERTISE AND KNOWLEDGE
NOT THE GUY WHO SITS AND KVETCHES THE BENK ALLDAY
I can not believe this type of harrasment is happening in our community. I am very afraid to bring my children up in todays society where even my own brothers can not be trusted with educating my children. We as parents have to stand up against this madness and join forces to force this evil out of our communities for our children’s sake and for the world’s future.
abc says
Rabbi Horowitz criticizes “self-appointed askanim,” Dov Hikind and Nuchem Rosenberg are self-appointed askanim, acting without the guidance of even a single Rov.
Dov Hikind is not self-appointed – we the people appointed him with his election.
Any rabbi who succumbs to pressure is giving in to the masses. I have the utmost respect and sympathy for Rabbi Twerski, but I have more sympathy for the victims. Where are all the other rabbis who should have rallied to Rabbi Twerski’s defence? Crawled back into their corners, unable to fight the evil that is our world today.
i agree
Dov, you goofed!
If you give someone a dangerous job, it is your obligation to protect him.
You should have arranged a bodyguard. You’re so good at fund-raising for yourself, but you tried to do this job on the cheap.
Shame on you!
listen, If there is no choice we will have to report to authorities have them arrested, charged and put behind bars, then the askunim or good willing people will go around yelling MIN HAMAYTZOR
reb yankel you answered your own question why dont the rabbonim….you seem to have the answers on paper BUT IN THE REAL WORLD ITS FAR FROM SIMPLE offer reb benzion that youll join him and add some clout !!
Name addresses and telephone numbers of molesters should be publicized loud and clear! Their family members should be threatend and ostrasized until they do something about removing these offensive monsters from within our midst!
The blog idea is the best, or there are several sites that have all the local molestors on it. I will try and find it and post it here. Meanwhile, how do we go about starting a blog??? Also, how do you make sure people to post names of a rebbe that got them introuble, is there any way to verify or do you just rely on an anonnymous poster???
Rabbi Twersky hasn’t abandoned us. He will work twice as hard privately, without being in the limelight. Many Rabbonim have been working in private, because this subject is on of those “shehashtika yofeh lohem”. Shtika, doesn’t mean to ignore, but to do what is right out of the spotlight.
Hey ABC – change your name to XYZ! Do you sincerely think no rabbanim were contacted??? How about the rabbonim are scared to take a stance lest they end up where Dr. Twerski just landed!!
Forum on Child Abuse
Jewish Children’s Museum, Kingston Av/Eastern Parkway (Crown Heights) TONIGHT 8PM. With Dov Hikind & other speakers. Q&A.
Free admission, separate seating.
I would like to hear that every Rebbe; give his Shabbat Shuva drasha a segment relating to abuse in the community and the need to seek help and report to the Police.
Too many Rebbes spend too much time fund raising for their community while real problems get handled by uneducated big mouth ‘askanim’..
Amen Mikey… A Shabbat Teshuva drasha on this is important, but I guess sleeve length and shoe buckles are more important. Why is a ban against Lipa rally the rabbis more than expelling a molestor from our machaneh?
I don’t know Rabbi Horowitz, but Kol HaKavod for his excellent analogy. Why are we so stupid? Rav Horowitz, please keep up the fight.
Perhaps we can decide that this year we will take action if our rabbis refuse to do so. If they try to fight us, we can cut off their funding. That means to stop financially supporting them, and if we know they are cheating on social services – turn them in. A wise man once said, thugs become statesmen with money.
Shalom i think the issue is far greater than meets the eye. The talmud tells us that mosiach will be sent be the almighty g-d through ha-shach hadas which means the opposite of the human understanding.
The meaning is very simple when one is told something of their character and short-comings,they would rather not hear.And their response is to remain silent that is the opposite of the human understanding. In remaining silent that is ones’ belief that hashem is doing it not the person. We must remember that hashem is the essence.With that being said we must be truthful with our OWN faults and short-comings and not hide behind religion as a scape goat because is truthful. Hashem is in exile like us for where is there truth and unconditional love!!!! Then hashem will send us all the yeshouas amen and mosiach amen
As a parent of an OTD (off the derech) son who B’H’ was not molested I empathise with any parent of an OTD child. Whilst OTD unfortunately seems to be becoming an epedemic, and whilst even one single child being molested is too many, causing mass hysteria is not the solution. To compare what is happening in our communities to the Catholic Church is a grss exageration. Having said that if and I say if it is true that a melamed has touched a child in an inappropiate manner he definately must be removed from his position immediately, however we have to bear in mind that any child can spread any rumour against any melamed and that does not neccessarily make it true. It is therefore imperative that frum professionals who have experience in such sensitive issues, who are willing to be guided by daas Torah, be the ones to deal with this issue. It is also imperative that anyone who has been molested by any melamed that is still in the system contact the professionals whose job it will be to deal with this issue. Joel Engelman and others like him will not send their children to the heimishe moisdos (unless hopefully they come back), but the victims who have stayed heimish will. They have even more reason to make sure that this filth is not allowed to continue and it is only with their co-operation that the truth will prevail.
maybe live webcams in every room will scare people off