New York – Hundreds Attend First-Ever Abuse-Victim Chizuk Event For Chardei Jews; Speakers Laud Hikind As Hero; Call on All Yeshivas To Recognize The Problem

    46

    New York – A community rally designed to express support to victims of sexual abuse in the frum community was held today in Borough Park.

    Join our WhatsApp group

    Subscribe to our Daily Roundup Email


    The event, which was spearheaded by State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, was held at the Borough Park YMHA at the corner of 14th Ave. and 50th St. at 11:00 a.m.

    Assemblyman Hikind, serving as emcee, opened the event by thanking the attendees for “being here.” man and women sat on either side of the partitioned room. Hikind then thanked his son Yoni and Rabbi Dr. Asher Lipner for assisting in staging the event.

    “It’s something so simple, something that no one could have a problem with,” said Hikind in explaining the event’s purpose. “It’s to say to the victims, to say to those going through so much pain, to give them chizuk, to say, ‘We support you.’ ”

    Hikind then introduced Rabbinical Alliance of America leader Rabbi Gershon Tanenbaum.

    News12 covered the event click below

    Rabbi Tanenbaum praised Hikind for his “bravery under fire,” describing how the Assemblyman, on an Israel solidarity mission, had even purchased a large amount of pizza from a shuttered pizza shop for beleaguered rescue workers literally underground in Israel’s north during the Lebanese hostilities in the summer of 2006.

    The rabbi then cited the historic 1994 search for a Chasidic girl lost in the woods of a Massachusetts state park—a rescue effort that, the rabbi recalled, drew several thousand volunteers from as far as Montreal and Maryland. “When the message went out that one girl got lost, thousands of people responded. We didn’t know who she was, we didn’t know her family… we knew that this child was one of ours.”

    Comparing that dramatic turnout to the current rally, Rabbi Tanenbaum said that the event’s purpose was “to let every child know that we care, to let every victim and every family member know that we care; we care today, we care tomorrow and we care forever.”

    Hikind then introduced activist Rabbi Shmelke Klein, stating, “This is the most important issue I have ever had to deal with in my 27 years in the Assembly. Saving lives! What’s more important? I’m thankful for G-d for giving me this opportunity. If you have listened for one day what I have listened to for weeks and weeks, you’d be upset and you’d do something.”

    Speaking in Yiddish, Rabbi Klein said that the event gives voice to those not heard, and emphasized a solution based on Jewish unity. “We must all work together. Hashem should help that just as Klal Yisroel jumped into the sea together [at the Crossing of the Red Sea—Ed.], we should come together to make every kid feel they belong.”

    Before introducing Rabbi Dr. Asher Lipner, Hikind commented that “We are finally talking about the problem and have started the education process… Thank G-d we are beginning to address it and we are going to make a difference.” He also recognized clinical director Shlomo Lieberman, long-time friend and activist Joe Lazar, and noted sexual-abuse expert Dr. Hindy Klein.

    Commenting on the standing-room-only crowd that had materialized, Hikind said, “The chizuk you have already given me to see you standing there—this is my dream! I can tell you how proud Hashem is of us.”

    In his remarks, Rabbi Dr. Lipner first thanked Hikind “for all the work you’ve done; thank you for making this day happen.” He then connected the lives of Moshe Rabbeinu and Esther HaMalka [the biblical Moses and Queen Esther—Ed.], pointing out that while they lived in palaces separated from the suffering of their people, “they became heroes by putting themselves on the line.”

    He then highlighted the famous story of Moshe Rabbeinu stopping one Jew from striking another, comparing it to taking a bold stand against today’s abusers. “Did he say, ‘I’d better not make a chillul hashem or make a scene?’ No. Moshe did not ask questions.”

    “I suppose today he’d threaten to throw Moshe’s children out of yeshivah or make sure they don’t get shiduchim,” he wryly commented on the Torah’s account of the accused’s reaction. Eliciting the strongest applause of the event, Lipner compared Hikind’s outspoken stance to Moshe Rabbeinu’s iconic statement “Rasha! Lama sakeh rayecha?” [“Evildoer! Why do you hit your friend?”—Ed.]

    Concluding with an apology to all victims, Lipner said, “We are all Yidden and we must all come together to heal the entire community.”

    Hikind then briefly acknowledged the presence of dynamic activist Ronnie Greenwald, whose presence he described as “unbelievable,” as well as the leaders of at-risk teen program O.U.R. Place, Agudath Israel’s Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel and Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC) founder Elliot Pasik. (VIN later learned that Agudah’s Rabbi Shmuel Lefkowitz was also present.)

    The Assemblyman then introduced Rabbi Dr. Bentzion Twerski, son of Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, explaining that while he was committed to treating the problem, he was not as qualified the professionals, also stating that ““I don’t give a darn about my political career, I care about the children. This is—or was—such a taboo subject.”

    In his comments, Rabbi Dr. Twerski expounded on the critical need for communal unity as a prerequisite for success in addressing sexual abuse. “Anything without achdus won’t work,” he said. He also compared abuse victims to folded paper, whose fold marks do not disappear no matter how pressed or treated is the page.

    “I do not believe we will ever eradicate this problem to the zero level,” Twerski said. “However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t accept anything but zero tolerance.”

    Rabbi Dr. Twerski finished his remarks by calling on rabbinical and educational leaders who are consulted on abuse and mental-health issues to familiarize themselves with basic mental health by consulting with frum professionals. “They have to have inkling of what’s going on, not because their Torah knowledge is lacking, but because they need input to understand what the facts are,” he pointed out. “We are turning to you and saying, ‘Please work with us. We are more than happy to help you understand the various forms of mental illness’ … Please utilize us in the mental health field, we want to be helpful.”

    Rabbi Yerachmiel Milstein of Project Chazon then appeared on a projection screen, having recorded a message for the event due to a last-minute inability to be personally present.

    “It’s simply an abomination,” said Rabbi Milstein in his video recording. “We can’t stand idly by. For way too long we’ve been in collective denial; we as a community chose not to get involved, and Dov Hikind deserves kudos,” he said to applause.

    Rabbi Milstein’s message consisted of several concrete points, including the fact that despite each individual abuse case being horrific, the percentage of abuse in the community remains small. Rabbi Milstein said that “the greatest chizuk for victims is to know that the community is waking up, not just offering sympathy but taking concrete action to make difference in the lives of kids who may be abused in the future.”

    Additionally, Rabbi Milstein said it’s “critically important” for parents to walk through their children’s schools to scan for signs of concern—specifically calling for a ban on blocked classroom windows or any other room that allows student and faculty complete privacy, as well as new training and policies in that regard for yeshivos and camps alike.

    Rabbi Milstein also called for parents to discuss privacy with their children “at the appropriate time,” as well as to take their kids seriously when they share claims of abuse. “I’m not advocating blanket believability for the child, but a child not believed by his or her parents has no avenue to share what happened.”

    Finally, the rabbi asked the community to pray for abuse victims, and to take action. “It breaks my heart to see the damage done, how it’s wrecked their lives… How can any cry go unheard? How can you not have rachmanus? This is not Yiddishkeit! If you’re not going to get involved, then at least support organizations that do.”

    Hikind then called upon Rabbi Tanenbaum to lead the crowd in the reciting of tehilim, after which he recognized his office staff Eli Schreiber.

    “We have a long road ahead of us,” Hikind concluded, “But we are going to make a difference.”

    As attendees milled about after the event, a middle-aged woman and her daughter approached one of the speakers. “I finally feel there is hope,” the mother said, “I think this is just the tip of the iceberg.”


    Listen to the VINnews podcast on:

    iTunes | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | Podbean | Amazon

    Follow VINnews for Breaking News Updates


    Connect with VINnews

    Join our WhatsApp group


    46 Comments
    Most Voted
    Newest Oldest
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    actully there was already 1 event in brooklyn public library on 17ave. & 60st. about tow weeks ago. why wasn’t rabbi nuchem rosenberg there? all the credit belongs to him, he started all this graet things & then all the others follow.

    Seichel Brosh
    Seichel Brosh
    15 years ago

    Can you acomplish a mission if its held in premises that are a place were these problems are standard. The YMHA is a danger to every teenager attending without supervision. Did any speaker use this place were he is speaking as an example??

    BIG JEW
    BIG JEW
    15 years ago

    Is It possible that this is a Chillul Hashem? I agree that it is a big problem in the jewish community and it has to be FIXED. Thank you to Reb Dov Hikind for fighting for the klal yisroels rights. HOWEVER why do we need it on national news channels? is this publicity neccesary? Is it posible to do things for the comunity without caring about the press? I think we are better off putting video cameras in classroom and hallways at our childrens schools. The bottom line is: The Jewish Community is better off doing concrete solutions in a private fashion then making a “task force” in a public fashion. Kol hakovod!!!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    Many people mistake the goal of this event. This was chizuk for the victims – survivors. This event was not for discussion about the cruelty and disgust of the perpetrators. That is why this public program was not political, and this is why there was such community support from all subgroups of the frum community and the array of agencies. The public image of Nochum Rosenberg (I don’t know him and have no personal comment about him) is his vigilance about the molesters themselves. The inaction and cover-ups until now are the forces that leave him enraged, and his public position is to direct this anger towards them. Whether this is warranted or not may be a good debate, but it is definitely not effective in getting the community to support a program that will succeed in improving personal safety for children.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    this is all great so long as we remember “innocent untill proven guilty” anyone who jumps the gun with accusations prior to a guilty verdict is worse then the abusers themselves.

    jack
    jack
    15 years ago

    joke no gedolim endorsed this event…..Torah conferences without them is worthless.

    anonomys
    anonomys
    15 years ago

    great job dov!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    #4youre killing the messenger nuchem rosenberg this much i can tell you if this molestation would of happened to you you wouldnt say this nuchem rosenberg i was molested 50 years ago when i was 10 years old in europe in the mikva by our esttemed respected shohet who was already 62 years old then no one would beleive me if i would of told them at that time i was paralyzed by fear of my elders can you believe the one whom you look up the most does this to you he killed my soul i cant beleive anyone dont trust no one i live in alife of hurt and you attack nuchem shame on you shame on you#4 youre indifferent to the suffering of the innocent

    Sherree
    Sherree
    15 years ago

    The answer to why things have gone public is very simple. Although victims and their families have tried to fight abuse and molestation for generations, it has continued and grown, it did not go away. Although victims and their families have done everything they could b’shtika, taking their molesters and the Yeshiva hanhalah to beis din, they were humiliated and abused again and again, even threatened to be run out of town as it was swept under the rug. When did you first find out about it? All this was the true Chilul Hashem although not publicized to the Goyish Olam, well known amongst our own Yiddish Olam.

    It is very unfortunate but way too obvious that WE cannot govern ourselves when it comes to this issue. WE have failed. WE cannot do this b’shtika, behind closed doors and without coming out publicly, out in the open where everyone can hear and see. It is not the intention of all those who are working to erradicate child abuse and molestation to draw the attention of the goyish velt but if that is what happens, so be it. We have to deal with it; and if that is what it takes to STOP this practice and force the abusers out of business and their accomplices those who protect them instead of OUR innocent children, then that is the tool that must be used, since that is the only thing they fear, total exposure.

    It is quite a shame that they have a bigger fear of public exposure to the goyish velt by the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal, than the fact that Hashem, the King of Kings knows everything, sees everything and is the ultimate judge and jury. They hide under the guise of “chilul hashem”, yet THEY and their accomplices are guilty of the biggest chilul hashem ever possible, destroying innocent, yiddish neshomas and the future families they would bring forth. These molesters and their accomplices literally shove these children off the derech as if they have their boot on their backs. And then point their fingers at them and say “You would believe a “sheigitz” like this over such a tzaddik? THEY are the cause of emotional dysfunction which leads to the breakup of their future marriages and the destruction and devastation of their future children. It has a tremendous chain reaction. And THEY are also the ultimate murderers of not only the mind and soul but also the bodies because some never recover and take their own lives.

    If you want to talk about Chilul Hashem, then talk about the Chilul Hashem that the molesters commit and the Chilul Hashem that their accomplices and the bogus battei dinim committed in the destruction that came from their hands and their actions. They literally have blood on their hands.

    Now talk about the Kiddush Hashem of those who will stand up and say “Dayeinu, ad kan!!” It’s enough, it ends here. We didn’t create child abuse and molestation in our generation but we certainly can end it here and now and we won’t stop until our children are safe in their schools and in their homes. We won’t stop until victims and survivors have justice and can heal from their wounds. We won’t stop until the compassion we show is placed where it should be placed with the children, victims and survivors and not with the abuser and his children and family. We understand that his wife and children are not to blame, but neither are his victims to blame and if we have to decide where to show our support and compassion, it has to be with his past victims and the future children we can save from his hands.

    WE have to understand the mistakes we made in the past and we cannot continue to compound them by not recognizing them and making swift, immediate and appropriate changes. The mistakes that were made by sweeping things under the rug and protecting the molesters especially by thinking it was a chilul hashem or that you were a “moser” by turning one in only served to “promote” further damage and safer haven for molesters to continue and breed more molesters. Can you only imagine my disgust when I saw a petition on line for SS in BP, to get the Board to do something about the molesters that have been preying on the children for decades. Decades!!! Everyone knows about it and no one has done anything about it! How is that for a Chilul Hashem! Right there in the shul!

    The time has come for change, no more going backwards.

    Sherree Belsky
    Vice President
    Jewish Board of Advocates for Children (JBAC)

    JoshS
    JoshS
    15 years ago

    From Rabbi Frand’s Shiur…

    Complaining About The Quality Of The Miracle

    The Medrash is troubled by the expression “vaYamru al yam b’yam suf”. This appears to be saying something more than the fact that they rebelled at Yam Suf. The redundant mention of the term “sea” (yam) seems to indicate that there were two rebellions at Yam Suf. The first rebellion was marked by the fact that no one wanted to descend into the Reed Sea. It was not until the leader of the tribe of Yehudah led his tribe into the water, triggering the miraculous splitting of the sea, that the other tribes followed into the Yam Suf. The Medrash notes the special role of the tribe of Yehudah at this time in the words of the later psalm “When Israel left Egypt… Yehuda became His sanctified one…” [Tehillim 114:1-2]

    Dov among the other esteemed speakers are leading the way…We’re not drowning now…We WERE drowning…Now we’re saving

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    Big Chilel Hashem

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    #16 dont tell me what to do youre not the one to decide what will be allowed to be read here and learn how to spell di shoite

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    15 years ago

    the chillul hashem ocuurs hen the abusers abuses. not when it is reported.
    i am mazed that no meniton is made fo what to do with the predators. rebbeom should not decide if asnus ehas occurred. children should be sent immediatly to professionals. if the professional beleives there had been abuse the professional is obligated to report the suspected abuseer and file a report with child protective services. anusers should b ein jail not working in a warehouse supposedly away from children.

    shame on the sponsers and shame on the sham organization.

    Elliot Pasik, Esq.
    Elliot Pasik, Esq.
    15 years ago

    It was a memorable event. Mr. Hikind is doing a good job in educating the community, and paving the way for real change. As everybody acknowledged, its apparent that the old ways no longer work. The times are too dangerous, and there are about 100,000 children attending New York’s yeshivas today. A real security system is needed, and as one of the speakers, Dr. Ben Zion Twerski, mentioned, we need to utilize a combination of secular law and Jewish law in defeating the sex abuse problem.

    Dr. Asher Lipner was eloquent. The text of his address can be read at http://www.jewishadvocates.org, where you will also find the Position Paper of our new organization, Jewish Board of Advocates for Children, Inc. We advocate mandatory fingerprinting of all nonpublic school employees, and other child protection laws. Asher, Sherree above, and the undersigned are officers, and we additionally have an Executive Committee and Rabbinical Committee.

    my opinion
    my opinion
    15 years ago

    I salute nachum because think the rabanim are part of the problem and not the solution they had every opportunity to step in and resolve this atrocity in the community, but they are too busy condemming the event and racketeering their propaganda. fact is that nachum. Was the” nachshan Ben aminadav”he may not have done exactly the way you would have but he lead the way.give credit were credit is due. He paid a heavy price

    Seichel Brosh
    Seichel Brosh
    15 years ago

    Reply to # 9 # 13 # 20
    My comment was two fold
    1) Gathering should be in a place that can serve as an example
    2) If you have no choice at least make people aware of the facts
    I am involved in helping such victims and did handle a few cases that occured in the YMHA , the problem is that the facility itself does not have any supervision and many parents are not aware of this, just send their loved children to a so called HEMISHE PLACE, the YMHA must make parents aware that they don’t screen memebers and could have known molesters as members, advising parents of the danger.

    mark mayer appel
    mark mayer appel
    15 years ago

    a awsome beginning to address this important issue,,,,,,,,,,,,,,was nice to see rabbi zweibel of aguda there as well perhaps we as a community are waking up kudos to dov,yoni and rabbi tannenbaum am echad- we are one

    Mr&Mrs  AmHaAretz
    Mr&Mrs AmHaAretz
    15 years ago

    Child abusers are Amalek. They are evil predators who target the innocent and the weak and vulnerable. May HaKadosh Boruch Hu, please, erase them all.

    Steven
    Steven
    15 years ago

    Shouldn’t some credit be going to the awareness center? Why wasn’t anyone at the event representing them? They have been doing this sort of work for years?

    Golda
    Golda
    15 years ago

    Actually the first yid to be talking about sexual abuse was Marty Cohn Spiegel. She was speaking out about for at least 20 years.

    little sheep
    little sheep
    15 years ago

    the problem with nuchem rosenberg, is this: if you watch his videos on youtube, you will see that he believes that everything is one giant conspiracy. if you report to the police, they’ll tear up the file. if you go to the DA, he’s not gonna listen to you. if you ask him, there is no hope other than him, because everyone under the sun is being paid off by the va’ad hatznius.

    somehow, that doesn’t sound right to me.

    and for the record, i’m a survivor. not a victim. and i wish i had known about this event before, not after.

    to the commenter who said “no gedolim endorsed this event…” i have to say that i don’t think rabbi milstein would have been involved without the consent of rabbanim. he doesn’t strike me as one to get involved on a whim.

    chana
    chana
    15 years ago

    Dear Dov, Tremendous thanks for presenting this highly sensitive and serious matter up front for all to see by bringing it out to the public. I attended the morning of “Chizuk” it was done in the most tasteful manner. the speakers were examples of individuals of the highest calibre. It was defintely a Kiddush Hashem. It has taken guts to deal with this scary matter. More power to you. Chana Z