New York – This Week’s Parsha: Spirituality Deficiency Syndrome

New York – In Parshas B’haaloscha we find one of the most remarkable narrations in the Torah.

The Israelites grumbled. They were dissatisfied with the manna and longed for the “good old days” in Egypt when they had a variety of foods. “We want meat!” they said.

How did Moshe respond? Listen to this. “Moshe said to Hashem, ‘Why have You done evil to Your servant? Why have I not found favor in Your eyes, that You place the burden of this entire people upon me? Did I conceive this entire people or did I give birth to it, that You say to me, “Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a suckling, to the Land that You swore to its forefathers?” Where shall I get meat to give to this entire people when they weep to me, saying, “Give us meat that we may eat?” I alone cannot carry this entire nation, for it is too heavy for me for me! And if this is how You deal with me, then kill me now, if I have found favor in Your eyes, and let me not see my evil” (Numbers 11:4-15).

Can we recognize this Moshe? When the Israelites sinned with the Golden Calf, Moshe put his life on the line, saying to Hashem, “If You do not forgive them, take me out of the Book You have written.” Later on, when they lost faith in Hashem and wanted to return to Egypt rather than conquer Canaan, Moshe again pleaded for them. At every step, Moshe was a devoted advocate for the people, and here, when they ask for meat, he says “Did I conceive this entire people or did I give birth to it?” and “If this is how You deal with me, then kill me now.” This is completely out of character for Moshe.

Rashi provides the answer. When the Torah says, “Moshe heard the people weeping in their family groups “(ibid. 11:10), Rashi says they were weeping because the Torah forbids some intra-family marriages. That is why they were dissatisfied, but that is not what they said. They attributed their dissatisfaction to the manna. Moshe’s attitude was, “Let them be truthful and tell me what it is that they want, and I can deal with it. But if what they really want is to lift the restrictions against intra-family marriages, but they don’t admit it, how can I deal with them? If I give them all the meat in the world and all the fish in the sea, they will still not be satisfied, because that is not what they want.”

Indeed, the Israelites themselves may not have been aware of the real cause of their unhappiness. It is quite common that we deceive ourselves, perhaps because we do not wish to own up to what is really bothering us. We may say, “I’d be happy if I had a better job, a better house, a better car, etc.” Invariably, when we get what we said we wanted, our relief is very short-lived. We are again unhappy, and attribute it to something else.

I suspect that many people are unhappy because they are not fulfilling themselves. In Happiness and the Human Spirit I elaborated on this, pointing out that many people suffer from a “Spirituality Deficiency Syndrome,” but instead of recognizing this and leading more spiritual lives, they attribute their discontent to various other causes. The reason for this may be that living a more spiritual life would require much more serious attention to Torah, and particularly to changing our middos. The latter is not easy.

Rebbe Yisrael of Salant said, “It is easier to learn the entire Talmud than to change a single character trait.” The Gaon of Vilna said that man was created for the purpose of overcoming his natural inclinations. Failure to do so results in the “Spirituality Deficiency Syndrome,” which is as real as iron deficiency and vitamin deficiency. The latter results in physical symptoms, whereas the former results in chronic discontent. Because we do not wish to exert the effort to change our innate character traits, we project our discontent to other things.

This is why Moshe reacted differently to the people’s complaints. “It is impossible for me to satisfy them. They do not admit what they really want, and may not even be aware of it themselves.”

This Torah episode provides an important teaching for us. We may delude ourselves, thinking that we know what we need, when the truth is that we are lacking in self-fulfillment. No psychiatric medication can eliminate the unhappiness of the “Spirituality Deficiency Syndrome.”

Dr. Twerski is one of our generation’s most eminent interpreters of the Torah’s teachings regarding self-control and self-improvement. He is a psychiatrist, an ordained rabbi, and founder and medical director of Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pennsylvania.