New York – Food For The Game

New York – This coming Sunday is the big game—the most hyped sports event ever created by organized sports. It’s bigger than the World Series and much bigger than the Stanley Cup or the Kentucky Derby, all of which pale in comparison.

It’s the Super Bowl and, despite the distractive frivolity of the indulgence, it has found a safe and even very kosher place in Jewish life. “Super Sunday”—the evening of the day when the game begins—has a certain air of sacredness to it.

About twenty years ago, the yeshiva my very young children attended in Brooklyn held its annual dinner on the night of the Super Bowl. People walked around shaking their head in disbelief that the yeshiva could insert itself into such a conflicted situation. If I remember correctly, the New York Giants were in the Super Bowl that year, which further complicated the conflict. Attendance was poor, and a few people even walked around the dinner with radio headsets on.

Then, about ten years ago, friends of ours scheduled their children’s wedding on the night of the Super Bowl. Granted—and as difficult as it is for some to believe—there are many people who know or care very little or not at all that this Sunday is the Super Bowl. On the other hand, it seems that the extreme fanatics, sports aficionados, and fun-time seekers far outweigh those not drawn in some fashion to any level of interest in next Sunday’s big game.

I think it needs to be said that this year’s Super Bowl could have been bigger and is already—before it has even started—a letdown for many fans, including this one. The robustness of anticipation has been drastically depleted because the New York Jets did not make the game. Somehow, when one of our New York teams is involved in the big game, the stakes and all that is on the line seem much higher for us here. Though it’s all imaginary and even borders on being inane, professional sports has somehow managed to successfully create a bond between us that makes what happens to “our” team feel as if it is actually happening to us.

I have more than one friend in the glatt-kosher food business, but one in particular who once told me that food preparation for the Super Bowl would sometimes generate the equivalent of three months’ worth of business. He and his staff would work until a half hour before Shabbos on “Super Bowl Shabbos” weekend and then on Saturday night work through the night and up through the game—a nonstop 30 hours, all revolving around people eating before, during, and I guess after the game.

Aside from the fans, I think the food merchants are also a little disappointed that the Jets did not make it this year. There is little question that had the Jets been in the Super Bowl, people would have ordered much more food—and perhaps even eaten more—if for no other reason than to experience that ridiculous gluttonous feeling that comes with our unbridled and inexplicable American form of sportsmanship.

I was in Israel during the World Cup last year, and the pubs and restaurants were overflowing with people enthralled with that sports event, which brings countries and people together in a way that the United Nations still cannot figure out. Along Jaffa Street and the side streets that run parallel to Ben Yehuda, there were crowded tables of sports fans with little more set before them than maybe a beer and some peanuts or chips.

There is no way such civilized minimalism would make the grade this weekend around here. In our neck of the woods, it seems that, for better or for worse, one must be surrounded by certain types of football and stadium-type food come game time. And, judging by the store menus out there, there also has to be an abundance of it on display. Having only just enough food is not the right ingredient for a successful Super Bowl event. There has to be plenty of food to throw out after it’s over and everyone goes home.

If you really want to get into the spirit of the game, you have to spend around $100. Anything less than that might just make it another Sunday night or just dinner accompanying another football game. Actually, for just $69 at Brach’s you can purchase a 3-foot hero with two bottles of Coke and the works. At Shnitzel Time you can spend $99 and get the same 3-foot-long sandwich (it’s meant to be shared with others), the soda, plus 100 Wild West Buffalo wings.

At Gourmet Glatt, for just $150 you can also get that 3-foot hero that includes corned beef, pastrami, salami, and turkey. This expenditure also includes three pounds of Buffalo wings, two pounds of hot poppers, and Cajun fries.

Of course you can eat anything you want during the Super Bowl, but pizza and quiches are just not football-game-type food; so if you’re thinking in that direction, save those dairy suggestions for a tennis match or perhaps Monday night’s dinner.

All these above items from all the merchants offering them also include what is referred to as “the works.” This aspect of these big-day food orders seems to have an additional allure to the Super Bowl culinary dynamic. So what exactly is included in “the works”? At Shnitzel Time, according to the small print in their ads, it includes a good amount of “coleslaw, pickles, ketchup, mustard, Russian dressing, or choice of 21 different sauces.” At Brach’s, “the works” are not dissimilar. There they include “mustard, ketchup, Russian coleslaw, pickles in 9″ x 10″ lasagna pans.”

We need to explore the menus a bit more in depth as well as understand the relationship between all this food and the biggest football game of the year. But first it’s important to note that it’s “the works” that I believe makes the big mess that will need to be cleaned up after the last pass for the year has been thrown.

It seems to me that the menus offered by Gourmet Glatt are designed to appeal to the football fan who wants to submerge himself in the Super Bowl genre but does not want to go crazy or overboard about it. It’s a mostly modest menu that does not allow you to spend more than $200.

The Mauzone of Lawrence menu seems to step way out there in offering—for a mere $400—a 6-foot hero filled with all the cold cuts you can imagine, sauces, skinless fried chicken, chicken nuggets, and poppers. It sounds like it may be worth it to order one of these just to see what a 6-foot hero looks like. I’m sure they all taste great.

A few years ago, I heard about some groups of young (and not-so-young) men who rent hotel rooms with large-screen TVs just so that they can absorb and understand the maximum Super Bowl experience, without home-based distractions.

I enjoy sports and especially football as much as the next guy. The food dimension to the game is important if for no other reason than it is big business, which is another thing that I am a fan of. But you have to feel a little foolish when at the end of the night you are dumping pans of fries, pounds of bread, and who knows how many poppers because over-ordering is probably just as important as the game itself.

This Sunday night I have one of those rare Super Bowl weddings. It’s not much of a conflict, because it’s the Packers and the Steelers. Had the Jets been in the game, frankly it would have posed a small dilemma. As things stand now, I’m not going to have a hero, fries, or poppers. Sure, I’ll want to know who won the game, but chances are that at the wedding, in very un-Super Bowl fashion, I’m going to order the fish.