Toms River, NJ – A former yeshiva teacher is on trial in New Jersey on charges he sexually abused a socially awkward boy whose family members, prosecutors say, were ostracized by their Orthodox Jewish community for taking the allegations to civil authorities.
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Rabbi Yosef Kolko, 39, met the boy in 2007 at religious school-run summer camp in Lakewood where he was a counselor. The boy was 11 at the time, and authorities say abuse continued until early 2009.
Kolko has denied the charges, which include sexual assault and child endangerment.
The boy’s father, a rabbi, testified Thursday that during a car ride back from his son’s therapist office, the boy said he had been sexually abused.
The next morning, the father said, he called Kolko. The two met and the father told Kolko he needed to attend therapy and stop working with children. The father wanted to bring the matter to a group of rabbis who had “experience dealing with these issues,” he said, and did not intend to make the allegations public. The father recorded the conversation at his wife’s urging.
Kolko did not dispute the allegations, the father said. At one point Kolko told the father he had nothing to say to him, which the father took as an admission as guilt, something Kolko’s lawyer disputed.
Later, the father and Kolko went to the home of a prominent Lakewood rabbi, where the father said Kolko was contrite and looked “close to tears.” The father said the rabbi took the allegations seriously.
The Associated Press generally does not identify accusers in sex crime cases and is not naming the father to protect the son’s identity.
The boy’s father wanted to bring the matter to a rabbinical court. After a few months he was unsatisfied with how the case was being handled and that Kolko was not following his recommendations and still teaching. After hearing Kolko was planning to return to the summer camp, the father called the head of the camp and Kolko, who told him to talk to a Brooklyn rabbi.
“I was more concerned that he was still at his jobs,” the father said. “And I felt that children are being endangered.”
In July 2009, the father decided to bring the case to Ocean County prosecutors. He said that if the allegations had been dealt with appropriately through rabbinical channels, he probably would not have gone to the police.
“Going to law enforcement is not, at this time, common within the Orthodox Jewish community. Even when it’s necessary it’s considered unusual,” the father testified. “Particularly with some people who might believe that the alleged molester is innocent would give the person going to law enforcement a very hard time.’
Prosecutors said the family was ostracized by the Orthodox Jewish community.
A flier was circulated in Lakewood, a community with a large Orthodox Jewish community, saying the boy’s father had made a mockery of the Torah and committed a “terrible deed” by taking the case to state prosecutors, the Asbury Park Press reported.
The family has since moved to Michigan.
The boy’s former therapist also testified Thursday, saying the boy told her in late 2008 he no longer needed help with his social skills because he had made a new friend, Rabbi Kolko.
“He’s my best friend. He’s the only one who understands me,” Dr. Tsipora Koslowitz recounted the boy telling her.
The boy took the witness stand Wednesday on the first day of the trial, testifying how he wanted to remain close to Kolko, even though his actions made him uncomfortable, because Kolko was his friend and he had no friends in school or camp.
The boy described a series of encounters with the rabbi, who would pick him up in his car, including molestation and oral sex and occurring in such locations as an empty classroom, a storage room, Kolko’s car and the basement of a synagogue, the newspaper reported.
BH the fathers original plans of letting rabbis take care of this and of this man leaving education as a solution didn’t come to fruition. how long will it take the frum world to realize the magnitude of this issue!!!
I support bringing all accusations to professionals to evaluate. For years, I am among rabbonim of all kinds, and have yet to meet a single one who is capable of evaluating a child with an abuse allegation. For this reason alone, it becomes a requirement to involve the secular authorities. Yet, I consider the halacha of mesira a halacha that involves kedushas Am Yisroel.
In this situation, the father of the accuser fulfilled all his halachic responsibilities, making mammoth efforts to contain the matter so that it doesn’t go to authorities or to the press. He asked his shailos, and every move was made with Daas Torah. Now, all the ruckus against him is that this did not please the political powers in Lakewood. Nothing relevant to halacha, just politics. Well that is too bad, because something that Daas Torah said is muttar does not change because of someone’s ego.
The halacha is that a rodef can be prosecuted and stopped by any means including going to secular authorities.
There is precedent for this in Tanach, Shimshon Hagibor was paskened to be a rodef for starting up with plishtim and causing trouble. The people paskened that he was a rodef and handed him over to the plishtim.
Molesting a child virtually kills them, the amount of psychological damage it does is tremendous.
If this man is running to molest (read: kill) your child or any other, you are obligated to stop him by any means. The father did the right thing.
It happened at Penn State where for decades, university higher ups protected child molestor Joe Sandusky. It happened in the Catholic Church, where for decades the church hierarchy protected molesting priests. And it’s happening in Lakewood. It’s happening very slowly, with tremendous resistance from the cover-uppers. But more and more people are slowly getting seichel. There’s an old saying, “Vi es Chriselt zach, Yiddelt zach.” Whatever happens in the non -Jewish world eventually affects the Jewish world. The walls of secrecy and protecting of child predators are falling all over in the non-Jewish world. We hope and pray that the day is soon coming, despite continued vehement opposition and narishkeit about mesira (which does not apply when saving a child from rape), that these walls will fall in our world, and every child will be able to feel safe in our community.
Dear Friends,
Please realize that protecting children from molesters is very difficult. The little hope is that the fear of punishment from authorities will keep potential molesters at bay. The last line of defense is keeping known molesters away from children in a verifiable and enforceable manner. Unfortunately in our community there is neither fear of punishment nor the strength to enforce.
Ironically our Holy community is actually a dreamland for molesters.
Reporting to authorities is never an ideal option but faced with the current alternatives we basically have no choice.
Dear Rabbi please know that many in the community applaud you and look on with awe at your strength . We know you are not doing this for personal gain. You are doing this to protect all of our children . We hope that in the process you help bring change to the old system were Yiddishe kinder are more vulnerable than the average American child. Please continue to be strong we are rooting for you .
Why does the last name “kolko” sound familiar.?
Was there another molestor by the same name aprox . 15 to 20 years ago?
Thank goodness the boy’s parents are willing to put their son’s (and other children’s) welfare before anything else. What a disgrace that they are being ostracized.
…and now for round 2. Father of said child, please expose the names of those rabbis whose advice you sought and who willingly did nothing to protect your child or anyone else’s. They are guilty of Rodef as well. If they took the time, money, effort to shmear your name all over Fake, I mean Lakewood, you should respond in kind.
I really do understand the extreme reluctance to go to authorities, but once a parent has found it necessary to do so, how does anyone have the chutzpa to ostracize the victim’s family? This is like Sodom.
EVERYONE in the frum community needs to do a real cheshbon ha nefesh. Can we really support and be an active part of a community whose leadership and “health care professionals” cover up child abuse and molestation. Are we really willing to debate whether or not an abuser is a “rodeph” based on whether there was penetrating anal intercourse? Are we willing to accept the notion that Rabbonim can halachically lie in court under certain circumstances? Can we daven for Moschiach while simultaneously protecting criminals who damage and destroy children? Can we turn to this same leadership to posken shailos when they seem to have missed the boat on the most basic level of human decency? WE will ALL need to take a careful look at who we call our leaders; look at who we entrust our precious children to – whether at school or at camp. Only 20% made it out of the tumah of Mitzrayim – I personally want to place myself and my family on the right side of history, and be in the group that makes it out.
Dear Parents ,
To properly protect your children you must look for and recognize risky situations.
A risky situation does not mean that your child is being molested but it does mean that likelihood is higher than normal and you must be triple vigilant in those situations.
1. Is you child being befriended /getting extra attention/chizzuk by an adult or older person be it a neighbor ,shul member or family member ?
2.Is this going on for over a sustained period of time ?
3.Does your child have issues ? social issues ? behavior issues ?
4.Does your child have opportunities to be alone with this person ?
If any of this rings true please do an extra soul searching and realize that there is the potential here for abuse.
If your first thought is ,never ,impossible he is the nicest person . Then please realize that you are now doubly vulnerable . Molesters can be the nicest people.
If you choose to look the other way and rationalize because it is the easier path then know you are failing in your responsibility to protect your children.
Again this is not to say that abuse is definitely taking place . But you may have to insist that they avoid yichud .
One last thing . Don’t assume that because a wife is on the house then abuse cannot take place. Too may times it is happening under the wife’s nose.
“Support the abuser and victimize the victim ! ” A credo for a culture doomed to fail.
Luke.
i have a relative who was molested along with afew other classmates.the kinds of games he taught them to play….it ended up killing him.the details are not important.if even one of those kids would have had the courage to speak up at the time my relative would have been alive
You guys all no nothing about the case. as an insider I can tell you the whole thing is one big LIE and FABRICATION. That is why the rabbonim didn’t do anything. Re running to authorties; They love these stories and right away side with the victim. Yes prosecuters do have an agenda. And it is very easy to convince 12 jurors who are stupid enough not to get out of jury duty, to hand fown a guilty verdict. Don’t forget these prosecuters are pros they have been doing this their whole life.
“A group of Rabbis who had experience dealing with these situations” doesn’t that mean hushing it up and blaming the victim?
Let me be perfectly clear about this:
When a child comes to you with credible revelations of molestation, ch”v, you run to the cops for help, not the beis medrish for a p’sak.
There is no issur of mesirah on someone who is harming the community. Period.
This is a halachah in Shulchan Aruch.