Brooklyn, NY – Mrs. Miriam Lubling: A Pioneer in Chesed, A Giant of a Woman

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    FILE - In this March 15, 2010 Mrs.Miriam Lubling at the Met Council Luncheon to Honor Local Leaders Dedicated to Helping Holocaust Survivors. (Stefano Giovannini/VINnews.com) Brooklyn, NY – Mrs. Miriam Lubling, co-founder and president of the Rivka Laufer Bikur Cholim, and a legendary patient advocate in New York area hospitals who was a respected and revered personality, both in the Jewish community and in the medical arena, died this morning at NYU Langone Medical Center after a five week long battle with pneumonia.

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    Mrs. Lubling, the mother of three and the grandmother and great-grandmother of many, was 96 years old.  Mrs. Lubling also served as the Director of Medical and Holocaust Services at the Boro Park Jewish Community Council, was involved with OHEL, was an associate trustee at NYU Langone Medical Center whose Shabbos Room bears her name and was the recipient of the 2002 Brooke Russell Astor Unsung Hero Award.

    Mrs. Lubling was born Miriam Albert in Konskie, Poland, and the seeds of her future self were already germinating in her youth.  A translation of a pre-Rosh Hashana postcard written by Sarah Schenirer to the young Miriam Albert appears in Pearl Benisch’s book “Carry Me In Your Heart”, asking for her take charge after a teacher in the local Bais Yaakov had taken ill.

    “First, make sure that the children say Tehillim every day for the speedy recovery of Feiga bas Chaye Yitta.  Second, please arrange to have the older girls teach the younger ones. Make sure the Bnos gets together every evening. They should read (and study) Sha’arei Yitzchak and also read the current Bais Yaakov Journal  and the material [on the subject of the Days of Awe.]

    May we, with Hashem’s help, be able share only besoros tovos, good tidings.”

    Miriam Albert managed to flee Poland before the Nazi invasion, escaping with her sister to what was then known as Palestine.  She got married in Israel but her life took an unexpected turn when her husband, Yaakov, hit his head in the shower and was seriously injured.  Mrs. Lubling brought her husband to America at the advice of the Chazon Ish and her own experiences with the medical community made her realize that there was a need for someone to speak up for those in need.

    “She was like the malach Refael,” Rabbi Yitzchak Fleischer, founder and executive director of Bikur Cholim D’Bobov told VIN News.  “She went through hell during World War II and wasn’t scared of doctors or anyone else.  If she wanted to help someone, she just did it.  By a doctor’s office she would just knock on the door and walk right in.  As someone who lost most of her family during the Holocaust she understood the importance of a human life and nothing would stop her from helping anyone.  If you knew her, there is nothing to explain. And if you didn’t know her, you can’t possibly understand.”
    Hundreds pay their respects to Mrs. Lubling at the levaya, which was held today at Shomrei Hadas in Borough Park section of Brooklyn, NY (Eli Wohl/VINnews.com)
    Despite her advanced age, Mrs. Lubling approached her mission with determination and drive. Until just a few years ago she could be seen navigating hospital corridors in her high heels and even into her final days she was always impeccably attired and made up.

    “Even a year ago, nothing could stop her,” added Rabbi Flesicher. “She ran around with the energy of a young girl.”

    Mrs. Lubling’s reputation preceded her wherever she went.  Oftentimes it seemed as if doctors preferred to give in to Mrs. Lubling instead of arguing with her, knowing that they were fighting a losing battle.

    “She was like a mentor to me,” said Douglas Jablon, special assistant to the president and senior vice president of patient relations at Maimonides Medical Center, where Mrs. Lubling could often be found at all hours of the day or night.  “She taught me things that I don’t think I could have learned from the greatest PhDs.  She was the biggest gaon.  She taught me how to treat people.  She would walk into families that no one wanted to deal with and she never turned anyone away.”

    Jablon himself was the recipient of Mrs. Lubling’s services when his own daughter was in Cornell after suffering burns.

    “We were there and I called Mrs. Lubling and all of a sudden this little old lady comes in,” recalled Jablon.  “She must have been about 3 foot 2 and fifteen minutes later the chairman of the burn unit comes in and gives me his home number.  That was her power.  She was tiny, but the biggest giant who ever walked on this earth.”

    Mrs. Lubling’s compassion extended beyond the simple medical treatment of her patients.

    “My daughter was about two at the time and she wanted a doll, a big doll,” said Jablon.  “Within three hours, Mrs. Lubling was back, shlepping this doll. It had to be bigger than she was.”

    Yet despite her diminutive size, Mrs. Lubling’s reputation was enormous.

    “She would deal with the biggest doctors and administrators, some of whom were world renowned,” remarked Jablon.  “She had a phenomenal relationship with everyone. They all loved her because she gave a thousand percent.  She would say ‘Mamale, Mamale, don’t worry.’  She was a real rebbetzin and a bracha from her went a very long way.  She was gracious, she was sympathetic but when there were problems, she would walk through walls.  It didn’t matter if it was an administrator, a doctor or a problem with a bill.  There was nothing she wouldn’t take on.  Even the security guards at the hospital would stand at attention for her because they were in awe of her.”

    Jablon recalled the immense respect that Mrs. Lubling commanded throughout the Jewish community.

    “I was making sheva brachos for my child and several rebbes walked in and no one stood up for any of them,” said Jablon.  “But when Mrs. Lubling walked in?  Everyone stood up for her.”
    Hundreds pay their respects to Mrs. Lubling at the levaya, which was held today at Shomrei Hadas in Borough Park section of Brooklyn, NY (Eli Wohl/VINnews.com)
    In his book, “Rabbi Sherer:  The Paramount Torah Spokesperson of our Era,” author Yonasan Rosenblum offers Rabbi Sherer’s assessment of Mrs. Lubling, describing her at an Agudah convention as “Klal Yisroel’s angel of mercy.”  In her self-appointed role as an advocate for the sick, Mrs. Lubling was renowned for her persistence and was known to never take no for an answer.

    “No was not in her vocabulary,” observed NY State Senator Simcha Felder, who nominated Mrs. Lubling for the Astor award in 2002.  “Her only answer was ‘yes’ when it came to helping everybody.  She really personified selfless love and sensitivity to every human being and they recognized that.”

    Senator Felder recalled how at the awards ceremony, which took place at the New York Public Library, Mrs. Lubling approached Mrs. Astor who was clearly unwell.

    “Miriam Lubling went over and started talking to her.  It was pretty difficult to understand her but you didn’t have to understand Mrs. Lubling to know that you better do what she wanted.  She kept talking to Mrs. Astor and kept saying ‘I’ll come to your house and visit you.’   Mrs. Astor’s aides kept trying to keep her away but she kept insisting, ‘No, no, just give me your address. I will come visit.’  That was just who she was and it was beautiful that an organization like that understood what a special person she was.”

    On another occasion, Senator Felder put a non- Jewish co-worker in touch with Mrs. Lubling, in an effort to secure an immediate appointment with a specialist.

    “She called us back a few minutes later telling us we had an appointment for 12 noon the next day,” said Senator Felder.  “My co-worker shows up at 12 and she waits. It is 12, then 12:15 and about 45 minutes later she finally went to the receptionist who looks at the appointment book and tells her that there was no 12 o’clock appointment.  The receptionist asked my co-worker, ‘Who told you you have an appointment?’  When she heard it was Mrs. Lubling, she said ‘I told her we had no appointments but she told me not to worry and she just hung up.’  Despite not having an appointment, the doctor saw my co-worker.  And that was just Mrs. Lubling.  The word ‘no’ just didn’t exist for her.”

    What made Mrs. Lubling so endearing was the fact that while she was aggressive and demanding, her actions were always selfless.

    “One time I came to a wedding and it was during one of my campaigns,” said Felder. “I see my campaign literature on the banquet table and I can’t figure out how it got there until I see Mrs. Lubling, handing out my brochures. I walk over to her, hoping to get her to stop and say, ‘Mrs. Lubling, nisht du!’ but she just shakes her head no.  She wanted to help.  There were no rules for her because she was always helping others, always doing a mitzvah.  What might have been unacceptable for others to do was okay when she did it because it was always done out of selfless love and consideration.  There was nothing she wouldn’t do for someone else.”

    Author Julie Salamon, whose book “Hospital, Man, Woman, Birth, Death, Infinity, Plus Red Tape, Bad Behavio, Money, God and Diversity on Steroids”, chronicled a full year at Maimonides, observing the state of medical care in a busy urban hospital.  She describes a conversation with Mrs. Lubling’s daughter Peshi Drillick, who offered her thoughts on her mother’s success in negotiating with doctors and other medical professionals.

    “My mother’s strength is that she’s not embarrassed.  She doesn’t care what the doctor thinks about her so long as she gets what she wants done.  Most people get intimidated. You don’t want to sound pushy.   You don’t want to sound nudgy.  Her attitude is, ‘You don’t like me? Who cares?’”

    Rizy Horowitz of Nachas Health recalled that even former Secretary of State Hilary Clinton recognized the indomitable force that was Miriam Lubling.

    “I was at a reception for Hilary Clinton at Maimonides and she said to the audience ‘If Mrs. Lubling calls, who can say no?’”

    Mrs. Horowitz knew that Mrs. Lubling was a readily available resource who could always be counted on.

    “I could always call her and she was there for everyone,” said Mrs. Horowitz.  “Whatever it was, she would always take care of it.  Klal Yisroel lost someone special today and there is no replacement for her.  I can tell you that she is already up there saying, ‘Why haven’t you sent Moshiach yet? We need him!’”

    Chaskel Bennett, a member of Agudath Israel of America’s board of trustees, recalled meeting Mrs. Lubling in his early days as a Hatzolah member.

    “It was hard to understand her and yet the doctors shook from her,” said Bennett.  “They gave in because she would raise a tremendous ruckus when someone needed something.  If it was a kid who needed an x-ray, someone who needed a specialist, she wouldn’t stop and she would get what she wanted because she was doing it to help someone else.”

    Bennett observed that while today there are many organizations who advocate for those who are dealing with medical issues, Mrs. Lubling was an original, a true pioneer.

    “It wasn’t just that she helped yidden in trouble.  She created the concept that you can make a difference even if you aren’t a doctor.  This was in an era with no cell phones, no email, no texting, no Twitter.  She accomplished everything she had to by the sheer force of her personality.  With Mrs. Lubling, no didn’t mean no.  It didn’t exist. And who was going to argue with her?  Who could have had the chutzpah to argue with her?”

    Watching Mrs. Lubling take on anyone and everyone, to help a fellow Jew, made a lifelong impression on Bennett.

    “Seeing Mrs. Lubling in action was a sight to behold.  As a young Hatzoloh member I marveled at her unwillingness to accept a ‘no’. It was unacceptable to her that any patient or family member in her care didn’t receive the very best possible care. I learned a lot from that stubborn determination to turn a ‘No’ into an, ‘Okay, Mrs. Lubling.’  The needs of the patient were first, second third and fourth. She had no time or interest in formality or political correctness. If it meant getting a specialist to consult on a case, when others didn’t feel comfortable making waves, she created a tsunami. By sheer force of spirit and determination she made doctors, nurses and oftentimes indifferent hospital administrators understand that their entire mission was to help heal this patient, now. Compassion, energy, zeal and a relentless pursuit to assist and help were her trademark. She created the mold and that bar is set very high.”

    As a representative for the city of Beitar during the launch of the Beitar Illit Emergency Medical Center, Ezra Friedlander , CEO of The Friedlander Group, had a firsthand opportunity to see Mrs. Lubling at work.

    “Mrs. Lubling was a lesson how determination in doing good will ultimately prevail,” said Freidlander.  “It was the power of her personality and often that meant a force of nature that prevailed upon those in a position to help the needy and the sick.”

    Her efforts on behalf of others were truly notable and Shmuel Lefkowitz, vice president at Agudath Israel of America, whose daughter married one of the. Lubling grandchildren, credits Mrs. Lubling for her heroic actions.

    “Many big doctors will only give you an appointment in three months but in her regal manner, she would walk in and tell them that she needed an appointment as soon as possible,” said Lefkowitz.  “She had a way about her and she saved a lot of lives and was zoche to arichus yomim.”

    In addition to her own work, Mrs. Lubling made sure to pass her lessons on to the next generation.

    “She trained new young people in her ways,” remarked Lefkowitz.  “Her legacy continues through her talmidim.”

    “I called  her my rabbi,” said Rabbi Yisroel Rosman, the Jewish patient care advocate at NYU.  “She stuck so clearly to halacha.  She spent thirty years on the floor with doctors and she never shook hands with any men, no matter what.  When she ate, she sat down, made a brocha and she bentshed. If a phone call came in while she was bentshing, she didn’t rush.  She davened mincha and maariv.

    Her ruchnius was so perfect that nothing I saw ever had any effect on it, no matter how busy we were with patients.  If I came to her house, she always had a Tehillim in front of her.  It was amazing how she blended chesed and ruchnius and both were so, so high.”

    Rabbi Rosman saw firsthand how even highly respected physicians knew that the diminutive Mrs. Lubling was a force that was too powerful to be reckoned with.

    “I was once at a doctor’s  office and he was a big name who had a waiting list that was six months long,” said Rabbi Rosman.  “Mrs. Lubling walked into the office with her walker and suddenly the doctor says to me, ‘I  need to go.’  I asked him what was happening but he just ran and hid in the closet.  In walks Mrs. Lubling and she says to me ‘Where is he?’  Here he was an important doctor and he was so afraid of her that he hid in the closet.  It just tells you what she was.”

    Rabbi Rosman also related another story that was told over at the levaya, about a time when Mrs. Lubling needed to make an appointment for a child with a pediatric neurosurgeon.

    Calling the office, Mrs. Lubling was told that the doctor had just left for the airport and was going on vacation.

    “She raced to the airport to find the doctor,” said Rabbi Rosman. “When she found the doctor he explained to her that he was leaving for vacation but she told him, ‘You can go on vacation next week but this kid will never go on vacation if you leave now.’ Of course, she got the doctor to cancel his vacation.”

    Despite her small stature, Rabbi Rosman acknowledged that it will be virtually impossible to fill Mrs. Lubling’s shoes.

    “I honestly don’t believe that I will ever get close to being what she was.  I try to take two or three things that she did and focus on them and try to do them how she did them.  But I don’t have enough  years to take on all the things that she did.”

    Hundreds came to pay their respects to Mrs. Lubling at the levaya, which was held today at Shomrei Hadas with kevura taking place in Eretz Yisroel. Among the maspidim were the Novominsker Rebbe, Rabbi Dovid Orlovsky of Gerrer and several family members. She is survived by her children, Rabbi Chanoch Lubling, Mrs. Nechama Frankel and Mrs. Peshi Drillick and leaves behind a veritable army of admirers whose lives were forever altered by her presence.

    “Mrs. Lubling didn’t just look for ways to make things happen, she found them,” explained Esther Henny Jaroslawicz of Bikur Cholim of Boro Park. “No doctor was too prestigious to approach, no favor too big or small to be requested.  She was a paragon of kindness, the epitome of a role model for all to emulate. The world will never be the same without her inimitable presence. Her myriad acts of chesed and tzedaka serve as her legacy. Surely, she will be a meilitzas yosher for her family and Klal Yisroel.  Bikur Cholim Chesed Organization stands in awe of Mrs. Lubling’s accomplishments, and together with all of Klal Yisroel, mourns her irreparable loss.”

    “After Miriam Lubling, I can’t think of another Miriam Lubling,” added Assemblyman Dov Hikind.  “She was in a class by herself, in who she was and how she did things.  There is no doubt the she is going straight to Gan Eden without any detours.”

    Hundreds pay their respects to Mrs. Lubling at the levaya, which was held today at Shomrei Hadas in Borough Park section of Brooklyn, NY (Eli Wohl/VINnews.com)


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    10 Comments
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    abeee
    abeee
    10 years ago

    She really was one of a kind and very hard to replace BDH

    Facts1
    Facts1
    10 years ago

    Having known her she was indeed a iron lady who stopped at nothing to get things done in terms of Chessed.

    10 years ago

    All I can say is that one time I meet her was i Maimondies when she was over 90 already. She shlepped all the way up 6 flights of stairs not wanting to use the shabbos elevator. and at maimondies every flight of stairs is double the size of a noraml flight so thats 12 flights. She went to every rrom to see if they have what they need. They really don’t make such ladies any more.

    wolfungar
    wolfungar
    10 years ago

    Anybody who was at NYU could understand what an angel looks like. BDH

    cbdds
    cbdds
    10 years ago

    I personally witnessed much of the phenomena mentioned. World renown specialists would quake in fear of letting her down. Administrators would bend rules to meet her goals. She did this by also respecting the Hospitals needs. When we asked her about helping keep a room semi occupied she immediately explained that that was not fair to the hospital and others.

    BLONDI
    BLONDI
    10 years ago

    Bde. She is going to gan Eden.

    10 years ago

    the Queen of Bikur Cholim and chessed has left this world and her shoes will be very hard to fill. She would not take no for an answer from any doctor. administrator or office manager when it came to the welfare of a yid in need. She should be a mailitz yoisher for her family and Klal Yisroel.
    Today we lost a giant, as big as any tzaddik in our doir.

    jakyw
    jakyw
    10 years ago

    Thank you for a beautiful and inspiring article of a true tzadekes. Too bad other “frum” media will find it below their standards not to show a picture of her. How disrespectful and how sad.

    Erlich
    Erlich
    10 years ago

    Yasher Ko&#8 217;ach for the tribute. #8 is right. Shamefully, the &#8 220;frum&#8 221; media will not show a photo of her, even though every person has a dignity, and is created betzelem Elokim.

    Debby
    Debby
    10 years ago

    oh! BD”E so sorry i didn’t know about her levaya. she was such a special women. I remember calling her 18 years ago for help with a dr. she was so so special . she has a golden chair up there.. best wishes to the family. what a zechus