Monsey, NY – I am generally an upbeat person by nature and I do my best to follow the derech of the ba’alei mussar to maintain a level of an external simchas hachaim even when my heart is heavy. However, my wife has an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and she can always tell when I get off the phone with an abuse victim, as it shakes me to my very core each and every time.
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Well; she certainly noticed that something was very wrong today when I walked into our home an hour ago. For throughout the day, I fielded emails from abuse victims who were deeply hurt by my decision to oppose the Markey Bill, which I articulated in a column I disseminated today and was printed in the Jewish Press.
By now, I am used to critical comments (and worse) in response to things that I write. But in all the years that I have been writing, I have never experienced this type of visceral reaction to a column of mine – where people felt personally betrayed, wounded and even violated by something I had written.
I am saddened beyond words if my column caused you to feel this way, and humbly ask your forgiveness for any pain it may have caused you. I will not use these lines to explain my position, or even to explain that my opposition to the Markey Bill did not and will not in any way diminish my support for your cause. Now is not the time for that. Many of you felt that you had a friend and advocate in me, and regardless of my good intentions, I let you down because my words were understood to be a betrayal of the trust you placed in me.
I accepted an invitation to meet with someone tomorrow, who is a strong proponent of the bill, and assured him that I will listen to him with an open mind, as he makes the case in favor of the Markey Bill. More importantly, I give you my word that over the next few weeks, I will ask several of our leading gedolim for the opportunity to meet with them, and I will convey to them the feelings you expressed to me today. I think it is important that I do so – for all involved.
I need some time to process all the raw emotions that were unleashed in my direction today, and I am not sure yet, just how to channel them productively. But in the meantime, I ask you again to please accept my deepest apologies.
Rav Horowitz, you are a man of integrity. Public apologies are not easy for anyone to make. Whether we agree or disagree in the end, your open mind is most appreciated. Your dedication to finding the truth is admirable. And finally, your ahavas yisroel is undeniable.
Thank You.
Amazing. He never ceases to show how much of a mentch he is.
Reb Yankel
You are in a pretty tight spot. Wether you lean to the right or left (yay or nay) you will be offending a highly regarded party. “We the hamoin am” have a third choice which is do nothing, but you have no such choice.you are expected to voice your opinion, cause if not you, who?
There is a strong point that you made which was that people against the bill are not “against abuse victims”.
And it is true that in most cases it is family and neighbors that are more of the culprits. The difference is that when it happens in a school environment the effect on the child is much greater because a child. expects school to be a safety zone
if the rabonim, agudah and the reps fopr the abusers would try to sit down and work something out , they may come up woth a modified bill that works for all.
This is a REAL apology, a “mea culpa”, not the “I’m sorry, BUT YOU…” of 99.99% of the population. It’s no wonder the victims approached him passionately: they know he really does care & that he’s open to criticism, again, unlike most people.
Whether or not he does support the Markey Bill, the important issue is re-gaining the trust of victims of abuse. I don’t know whether or not that will happen, but I’d bet he does his damnedest to get it back.
Too little, too late? Only time – and the victims – will tell.
Great job Rabbi Horowitz
However, let me recommend to you the approach that would of worked better for you.
If you would of taken the time to explain what the markey bill is about and what that would do to the mosdos keeping them busy with protecting their assets and fighting of the lawsuits while they could be spending their money and resources to protect the future of the kids,I think that you wouldn’t of having to go through all the unnecessary criticism of people that know “0” what the bill is about
“More importantly, I give you my word that over the next few weeks, I will ask several of our leading gedolim for the opportunity to meet with them, and I will convey to them the feelings you expressed to me today.”
That’s not so important. Our gedolim already told us no penetration = no abuse. What more does a frummer yid need?
The Difference between Rabbi Horowitz and Rabbi Slifkin, is that Rabbi Horowitz (and Rabbi Twersky) is not willing to leave the familiar confines of the chareidi/yeshiva world (whatever sect is presently in conflict with them) and at the end of the way needs to have this way of life to live.
Rabbi Slifkin, was able to walk away from this life and live on his own torah convictions.
The rest of us, will need to make this choice one day.
A good man who has gotten in way over his head. This was a small mistake Reb Yankel…but this is an indication that it is a good idea for you to take a sabbatical away from the public forum. As we have seen with others, the next misstep will not be so small or easily forgiven. You can, and should, come back after taking the time off to evaluate what you did wrong here….PRIVATELY.
As a neighbor of Reb Yankel I can say he is the most unbelievable guy around. I met Reb Yankel last night taking a walk and I was able to see how concerned he was if perhaps he might of hurt someone. He is stuck between a rock and a hard stone and most people would not be able to get out of this situation. I give him much credit for the way he is handling it. Kol Hakovod with lots of Siyateh Dishmayeh.
“More importantly, I give you my word that over the next few weeks, I will ask several of our leading gedolim for the opportunity to meet with them, and I will convey to them the feelings you expressed to me today.”
That’s not so important. Our gedolim already told us no penetration = no abuse. What more does a frummer yid need?
Rabbi Horowitz,
L’ilui Nishmas your father, try to do the right thing and reverse your opposition. He will be very proud of you and your reward in the Olam HaEmes will be immeasurable.
Dear Rabbi Horowitz,
On behalf of all the victims that have had their hearts and souls ripped apart for years, I hope that you are sincere in the reversal of your position and fully support the Markey Bill.
I understand the truth after listening to the Zev Brenner show this past motzei shabbos. I learned so much from the panel of experts that discussed the Markey Bill while taking phone calls from the community.
Notably was Professor Marci Hamiton, a leading constitutional expert on child molestation who has already passed the Markey law in California and Delaware. Also, Dr. Asher Lippner, a leading psychologist who deals with survivors on a daily basis, and Mark Weiss, a victim of Molestation over 30 years ago and child advocate Mark Meyer Appel.
A true leader is someone who realizes his error in judgment and comes forth with the truth. The facts and the truth is that the Markey Bill is the only thing that will help clean up this tragic and sad epidemic which has put a blemish on some rabbinical leaders, with there actions on the Markey bill has put our faith and respect in das torah in question.
I feel they may still be misguided just like perpetrators of the crimes themselves…..
Yanky your article is no wonder to me you were the one who taught me that it takes a real man to apologize please keep up your good work for the unfortunate victims and continue speaking out for them there are not many people willing to do so because our leaders are gutters
RABBI HOROWITZ
WHAT IS SO SAD FOR ME PERSONALLY IS THAT MY LIFES WORK IN HELPING
THE COMMUNITY AND MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO ALL MOSDOS HATORA ARE BEING PUT INTO QUESTION..AS A FATHER AND ONE WHO IS SPENDING MY LIFE EVREY NIGHT HOLDING THE HANDS OF THHESE KIDS BY PROVIDING THEM WITH A EAR AND GIVING THEM CHIZUK.,I SEE THE PAIN AND SUFFERING.I WILL CONTINUE THIS FIGHT TILL JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL
.
MY HARSH WORDS ON THE RADIO AGAINST SOME LEADERS ARE GUIDED BY MY FAITH IN HASHEM AND MY REBBES IN ERETZ YISROEAL THAT ARE URGING ME TO CONTINUE THIS FIGHT FOR JUSTICE
More than 25 years ago I spent two summers in Camp Arugas Habosem in Hurliville, NY. Rabbi Horowitz was head councleor, he was so amazing and uplifting that till todays day when I see his photo in the newspapers, such fond memories come to mind and I fall in a great mood. I am not a writer by nature so I’m not sure I can describe my feelings well, but I can tell you this much: Rabbi Horowitz is one of a kind, you seldom meet such a special, talented, just and noble person. Rabbi Horowitz: Thank you! Please keep up your great efforts and do not get distracted. Hatzlacha Rabba on all your endeavors!
Kol hakavod to Rabbi Horowitz for this public apology. But what exactly is he apologizing for? For offending people? Or for taking that position? From the above statement it doesn’t sound like he changed his mind! Just that he’s sorry that he hurt people’s feelings.
He made his mistake already. HE needs his wife to tell him something is rong?
The great proponent did not comphrehend the impact on survivores of rabinic abuse?
What exactly does he champion if he doesn’t understand?
Now he does tshuvah? now he sits down to speak to a supporter of the bill?
Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture???
The cat has been let loose.To now speak to gedolim?
The same gedoling whoose institutions are nogeha b’davar?
Which godol is voluntering to pay for my therapy?
Which gadol will comepnsate me for missed opportunites in life?
Do I need a gadol to tell me not to seek compnesation for damges caused by actions they could have preveted but they did not prevent?
Folks seek out professional help. Rabbi Horrowitz’s late mea culpa is disengenouse no matter what he writes.
BTW if he has helped so many, how many abusers have actually been proescuted?
How many of the suvivors he supposedly helped had their abusers goon and abuse others?
YH is entitled to make mistakes. Apology accepted. Now accept the examples set by Delaware and Cali and support Markey. The nonsense about destroying mosdos is a canard and the fact that abuse also occurs by relatives is a red herring.
From the Malach Hamovies !
Rabbi Horowitz !!
I know you and i know that you are a caring person. Nevertheless, the Markey bill WILL pass and the “heilige” Mosdos that allowed our boys to get raped for decades will be financially destroyed and hopefully their Rosha Hayeshivas and Menhalim will be thrown in jail. My son has a chavrusa that he learns with a few nights a week. He also goes to a well known yeshiva in Flatbush. One day his rebbi asked asked him where he learns in the evening. He replied Yeshiva Torah Voddath. He then asked him in (front of the whole class) , why don’t you learn in Torah Temimmah ?. Which is close by. It’s more of a makom torah. He got out of his seat stood up and said – Rebbi, i don’t learn in torah temimmah because they are “going down ” ! The entire class got up and applauded. My son and many of his classmates are “top learners”. But they love their fellow students who are not on their madreiga. And THEY ESPECIALLY DON”T WANT THE KIDS WHO WERE ABUSED BY THESE REBBIES TO BE A KORBAN FOR THEM !!! YOUR “GEDOLIM” CARE MORE ABOUT THEIR MOSDOS THEN THE LIFE OF A JEWISH CHILD !!!! SHAME ON ALL OF THEM !!!
Yanky,
You should have stayed out of it. Even children today know what’s happening. Again, Marky will pass and the “gedolim” and the hated Vantzen at the Agudah Yimach Shmom will slither away. Like the snakes who they are.
My final word. Dovid Hamelech says in Tehillim – “Lev nishbah v’nidka elokim lo sivza” . Hashem does not despise a broken heart !! The tears of these abused children have reached the highest level in heaven. And their tefilos are finally being answered.
you people are unbelievable. he says that he is sorry for offending anyone, not that he is reversing his position. no one is listening to whats going on here because its such a sensitive issue. he is saying that he feels terrible that people who didnt pay attention to what he said were offended. he does not plan on stopping to fight for those who were abused and to try and prevent it in the future, but he doesnt feel that this bill is the way to do it. whats so difficult to understand? he is a man with enough integrity to issue a sincere apology to those he inadvertently offended, and is willing to take onother look at the bill to see if perhaps he was mistaken. what more do you want? you want a yes man? a yes man wouldnt have gone this rout in the first place, he wouldve stayed quiet and let the status quo continue! he is who he is because of his integrity and intellectual honesty, not because he does what everyone else wants him to do.
Rabbi Horowitz,
You are a varmer yid and a Breslover Chosid !! What are you doing cavorting with these discconectted “kalta litvakan” leaders. Start your own organization and “fife zei oon ” You are a better person then them. Oh and don’t you know that the many kids from T.T. went to the head of Toirah U’msoirah years ago. What did this aniamal do ? He betrayed their trust. Why would you want to hang out with these people ?
Dear Victims and Survivors
I will never question anyone’s emotion while such a hot topic is being discussed. A lot of us wrote letters myself included and comments to Rabbi Horowitz yesterday, criticizing his position on the Markey bill. While criticism is healthy and arguments over disagreements can bring to better understanding it’s important sometimes to take a step back and think. Rabbi Horowitz’s caring for kids issues especially sexual abuse should never have been questioned. While I can only speak for myself I believe I have a lot of victims and survivors standing with me.
DEAR RABBI HOROWITZ
As a survivor of sexual abuse I deeply apologize for the way my letter was written to you yesterday. I don’t think you need an apology from me but I feel I owe you one. I never questioned for a moment that your speaking out on children’s behalf was not sincere and I never believed that you finally buckled and stopped caring. You were a lone advocate speaking out in public for years and we need you to continue and I know you will. Your apology to us was not necessary, but doing so shows that you are a giant among men. I hope that this was a good learning experience, even if our emotions runs high we still have to use reason.
My confidence in you that apology accepted
Frum Survivor
If R. Horowitz does support it , the gedolim and the frum community will have no choice but to shut him out. Unfortunately this is the way things work.
I see only one contractual solution –
1) The Roshei Yeshiva, Moetzes, Agudah etc. , should agree to support and paticipate actively in an honest CRIMINAL investigation of the pedophiles and molesters. Yes, even if they themselves covered up.
2) The victims should agree they will NOT sue for monetary compensation .
It is true that victims deserve to be compensated. Unfotunately, even if a victim DOES win a civil suit,it would be almost impossible to drag money out of a Yeshiva or molester that has no money. T
The healing ultimately has little to do with compensation , revenge or justice. At least with a criminal case , there would be some closure. The healing comes from inside and The Al-Mighty.
Dear Rabbi Horowitz:
Lead with your head, not with your emotions, when you evaluate the intentions and the outcomes of benificent-sounding legislation.
You need to see who are the lead sponsors of this legislation and “Walk the Dog backwards”–see who really loses and who really benefits.
State Senator Martin Golden–an experienced “goodguy” politician–who represnts Bay Ridge, has warned that this bill is really a Trojan Horse, designed to damage religious institutions, and tie them up in endless litigation,bankrupting many and distracting all from their educational mission.
The Public Schools in NY State have been specifically exempted from this legislation.
A main sponsor is Tom duane, the Toeva representative of Greenwich Village.
“All that glitters is not gold!”
Rabbi Horowitz KNEW that he would get beaten up and he still had the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Whether or not we agree with him is irrelevant. At least he is consistent.
Rabbi Horowitz, you are a Chochom and a Tzadik.
Kee Hashoychad Ye’aver Eyney Chochomim, Veyesaleyf Divrei Tzadikim!
Your negius here because of owning a yeshivah and your connections to the Gedolim who clearly DO NOT care about victims’ feelings because they did not apologize like you did, means that you should leave the decisions for our community’s children to others who have less at personal stake. Like Rav in the Gemorah who would recuse himself from a case if one of the parties said good morning to him….
The actual position of Gedolei Yisroel on the Markey bill and on many other aspects of this issue is merely conjecture. There are no signed statements on this matter from the Moetzes of Agudah, just second-hand, unattributed, self-serving statements by Rabbis Zweibel, Horowitz, and others. If a Lipa concert was important enough for a published signed statement, why not this very serious, chronic problem of alleged abuse?
I agree with no. 33. I recall questioning HaRav Shmuel Kaminetsky SHLIT”A regarding a Psak Halachah certain Rabbonim attributed to his father ZT”L. Rav Shmuel responded that until they show it to me in writing — with signature and date — I am not obligated to follow it.