Israel – Charedi Shadchunes Rates Skyrocketing

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    Israel – Matchmaking rates in the ultra-Orthodox sector have risen significantly in the last months, along with the overall increase in prices. The hike is predominately felt among Ashkenazi families who seek to marry off their daughters to a distinguished family.

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    In recent years, the official matchmaking rate has stood at $1,000, paid by each of the two families to the matchmaker who found them the right shidduch. Until recently this has been the fixed price in all haredi communities and Hasidic branches.

    However, due to the financial slump matchmakers have recently been forced to update their prices. But while yeshiva students continue to pay the old rates, the rate for working haredim has jumped to $1,300 per shidduch.

    Meanwhile, another dramatic change has taken place in the matchmaking scene: While in the past Sephardic haredim used to reward their matchmaker with gifts, rather than with money, today payments in cash have taken over, although the rates remain relatively low: NIS 1,000 for each family.

    But a matchmaker’s dream is still to find a shidduch for the members of the more distinguished families, mainly those of the admorim (Hasidic leaders). Such a shidduch contributes greatly to a matchmaker’s professional reputation, and while it is not customary to charge an admor’s child for the match, the other family could pay the matchmaker up to $1,500 for the prestigious find.

    Modern Orthodox families, who don’t usually use the services of a matchmaker, are nevertheless willing to pay extremely high rates for shidduchim. One of the most popular matchmakers of the sector’s richest families, Miri Levi, charges $10,000 from her clients. Luckily for her, there are still enough people willing to pay these sums.


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    56 Comments
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    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    time to start single events in israel

    confused
    confused
    14 years ago

    I done know where those numbers are coming from, but in williamsburg, the prices are 2,000 to 3,000 per side

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Mamash genaiva , these shadchanim do it just for money it’s sick

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    What fringe benefits the rebbes have they don’t have to pay shadchunim it reminds me the song ich vil zein a rebbe

    Lebediger
    Lebediger
    14 years ago

    btw there are no shadchunim lately

    Family and Freinds
    Family and Freinds
    14 years ago

    True its important to pay a Shadchan for his/her services but its should also be noted that if PEOPLE would get involved in making shiduchim and not feel that they need to be educated in this field you will begin to eliminate the high cost of paying Shadchanim. In some circles you need to pay a start up fee with some shadchanim rachmona letzlan…

    What ?
    What ?
    14 years ago

    I will pay nothing for the chance to marry a beautiful, wealthy and distinguished Kalah !!! Rabosai, if you read Mesechteh Sotah Daf Bes you will learn that it is HKBH who makes the shidduch. Any payment is unnecessary !!!

    doniels
    doniels
    14 years ago

    Since I never understood the big deal, I once decided to try my hand at it.

    Shadchonus is a full-time job; and $1,000 is not overpay. You can work 10 – 12 hours/day and make 100s of phone calls – and no shidduch happens.

    When something does start to happen you spend hours of energy cajoling the sides to continue meeting and overlook the “nonsense”.

    Not an easy job; feel free to try if you don’t believe.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    What fringe benefits the rebbes have they don’t have to pay shadchunim it reminds me the song ich vil zein a rebbe

    Worth Every Penny
    Worth Every Penny
    14 years ago

    Did you ever try to satisfy a bunch of Jews trying to marry?

    On each side, there are parents, grandparents, and the actual boy or girl who have “expectations”

    The girl’s side wants a buchur who is a talmid chuchom….
    But he also needs to:
    Earn a nice living and/or
    have a rich family
    be really “eidel” … and gentle.
    Be assertive enough to be successful,
    but not that assertive that he would not let his wife be boss.
    He must be tall
    He must not be fat.
    He should be good looking.
    He should come from a family which
    not a single person every went for therapy.
    All the older siblings married those you approve of.
    Good Yichus
    Good teeth and skin
    Glasses are ok, but they must be those 50/50 frames, and the lenses not too thick.
    He must have the right accent
    No siblings should have gone to a different derech, not more frum nor less. If they are chassidim, no siblings should have become Lubavitch. If they are Lubavitch, no siblings may have left Lubavitch.
    He must be willing to dress in the derech that the girl expects….
    short pants or not (white sox)
    Beeber hit during the week or shtuffine hit
    If Lubavitch, will he wear a colored shirt? or white only?
    Can he wear a short jacket during the week?
    Will he want his wife to wear the clothing she expects to wear?

    Now, if that is not hard enough, the man’s side as a similarly long list of “expectations” from the Kallah and her family.

    When you find a Shadchan able to meet all of the above expectations for both sides……. He/she/it IS WORTH ALL THE MONEY HE/SHE/IT IS CHARGING.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    When my brother got engage the shadchen forced my parents to give her $3000.00. Its a shame why there is chasuna takunes it should also be shadchunes takunes

    Dag
    Dag
    14 years ago

    Why do working Charedeim pay more…are they worth more?

    sluve
    sluve
    14 years ago

    Shadchunims are like headhunters (job finders), they are getting paid very well too!

    Loshon Hora
    Loshon Hora
    14 years ago

    How happy you should be to pay the money for a young couple. Look how many over 40 singles are around, think how many trips journeys etc they have spent in time & money, all saved by a little investment of $1500.00. Pay it with a smile & add as much as you can, plus a great thank you.
    All the pain & stress the shadchan saved you weather you like them or not their service is “pricless”, they are doing you a favor letting you pay them a miniscule sum, for such a life time of help. They put in so much effort into so many unrewarding shiduchim until they hit one bingo.
    I think it was the Apter Rov the Oiheiv Yisroel who said shadchonus is the most kosherer gelt.
    It amazes me how people are so unappreciative of a shadchon. It is said in the name of Reb Nosson Wachtfogel OB”M of Lakewood, that a smart shadchan doesn’t go to the chasuna, because who wants to see someone who did them such a big favor.
    I am not a shadchan, but I am involved with the pain of older singles, take my advise find a shadchan & pay them all they ask even if you have to collect or borrow their fee, it is the best spent money possible. Think of all the therapy costs of an older single & all the rest, it is almost impossible for someone not in that situation to understand it.
    Go Shadchanim go take all you deserve “melachtecho mleches hakodesh huh, al tisrashel boh”.

    I do not mind
    I do not mind
    14 years ago

    I pay my shadchanim $1500.It’s worth every penny. Better to skimp on the flowers or band then to skimp on them.

    halachadike yid
    halachadike yid
    14 years ago

    the shulchan aruch says that a shadchan who has not recieved pay can stop the chupa from taking place and demand his/her pay.
    when the chofetz chaim wanted to buy a new pair of tefillin he wanted that the money used to purchase the tefillin should be from a holy pure source, and not from any dirty bussiness. and so he made a shiduch and used the shadchanus gelt to pay for the tefillin, because he could think of no holier source of making some money.
    to those of you who say shadchanim are “ganavim” (sic), i think you need to rethink your opinions. maybe some are not so reliable, that doesn’t mean you need to bash the whole profession.
    and as for those of you who say we need more singles events and to do away with shadchanim, know this: the rambam, rosh, tur, shulchan aruch, and virtualy all the poskim said meeting without a third party (shadchan, friend, rebbe, etc) is derech z’nus and should not be practiced.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    At work I sit next to a shadchan its plain & simple a very hard job. i.e. after speaking ten shiduchim wereby the couple met once or twice & it didn’t work out he finaly got a couple going out for real. well it took 14 dates for the boy to figure out that the girl is not right for him.
    just think if a shadchan makes 50 shiduchim a year he earned $100,000 I know no shadchanim that made that many shiduchim so on avregae a good shadchan makes 10 shiduchim a year & he earns $20,000 does not sound like he is making a killing.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    SHADCHAN = Sheker Dover Kessef Notel

    simcha kanner
    simcha kanner
    14 years ago

    :First of all it’s supposed to be a mitzva , not a business , and I hope if u are a shadchan you don’t do these ridiculas schemes How happy you should be to pay the money for a young couple. Look how many over 40 singles are around, think how many trips journeys etc they have spent in time & money, all saved by a little investment of $1500.00. Pay it with a smile & add as much as you can, plus a great thank you.
    All the pain & stress the shadchan saved you weather you like them or not their service is “pricless”, they are doing you a favor letting you pay them a miniscule sum, for such a life time of help. They put in so much effort into so many unrewarding shiduchim until they hit one bingo.
    I think it was the Apter Rov the Oiheiv Yisroel who said shadchonus is the most kosherer gelt.
    It amazes me how people are so unappreciative of a shadchon. It is said in the name of Reb Nosson Wachtfogel OB”M of Lakewood, that a smart shadchan doesn’t go to the chasuna, because who wants to see someone who did them such a big favor.
    I am not a shadchan, but I am involved with the pain of older singles, take my advise find a shadchan & pay them all they ask even if you have to collect or borrow their fee, it is the best spent money possible. Think of all the therapy costs of an older single & all the rest, it is almost impossible for someone not in that situation to understand it.
    Go Shadchanim go take all you deserve “melachtecho mleches hakodesh huh, al tisrashel

    OJoe
    OJoe
    14 years ago

    My impression was that many (perhaps half) of all shidduchim are made by neighbors, friends, etc.. rather than professional shadchanim. In such a case you can pay what you feel is appropriate. No?

    yitzchok
    yitzchok
    14 years ago

    ATTENTION EVERY ONE!!!!
    Why do you understand that when it comes to the
    1)jelery 2)wedding hall 3)khallah gown 4)choson watch 5)hat or shtreimel 6)the music 7)the badchen 8)flowers 9)dresses for the mothers/sisters of the choson and khalla 10)tenoyem and sheve broches 11) and MORE…. That there is no handeling and bargedding on the pricing, BUT, WHEN IT COMES TO THE MAIN “BAAL SIMCHE – THE SHADCHEN” he or she deserves to get paid the least of all of the above? WHY ??????
    NOW YOU ALL KNOW WHY THERE IS NO SHADCHONIM AROUND!!!!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    the non jewish shadchanus services charge aloooot more, i heard one company that charges a $50,000 initial fee not including additional payments for the work she puts in afterwards.( this i saw with my own eyes a month ago on tv, interviewing one of those shadchneets.)

    Agent Emess
    Agent Emess
    14 years ago

    I offered much more then 1,500 to a shadchanim to find me the right girl. Problem is they want to push me to take of theyr hands the girls that they are having problems setting up. So while tehy are very happy with my generous cash offer, they want to take the easy way out and push me towards what I dont want rather then what I do want and what they have.
    Thats the problem

    Avrohom Abba
    Avrohom Abba
    14 years ago

    It used to be done for love and good wishes. Now, we all see through the new “grab the money” types. To relieve themselves of guilt, they live in denial and insist that they are only doing it to help the Jewish people. Yeah, right.

    shlomo zalman
    shlomo zalman
    14 years ago

    If you don’t like the price, don’t buy the product. If you don’t like the shadchan fee, don’t use one. We’ll all be better off. The shadchanus system as it is set up now encourages half lies, white lies, and outright lies. Maybe without them, there would at least a little truth.

    Agent-Emess
    Agent-Emess
    14 years ago

    “The hike is predominately felt among Ashkenazi families who seek to marry off their daughters to a distinguished family”

    There ya go! they decided they NEED a distigushed familly. Possibly even more then theyr child needs a compatible lifemate, they SEEK a distigushed familly.
    Theres the shidduch problem right there. Its about ego and pride and stigam more then about the specific individual needs of the son or daughter.

    Deepthinker
    Deepthinker
    14 years ago

    LISTEN-UP ALL YOU FOOLS WHO DON’T APPRECIATE SHADCHANIM:

    The Shadchan is like the catalyst in a chemical reaction.–No catalyst, no reaction.

    We have a full-blown “Shidduch Crisis” in our community. It is largely the result of this stupid system of “going-out” which is simply our way of imitating the Goyische “Dating Scene.”–It doesn’t work; it wastes everyone’s time.

    The least qualified people to asess the appropriateness of a Shidduch are the boy and the girl directly involved. They’re too young to make a sound judgement, and they’re too emotionally involved.

    If there are intelligent adults available, they should do the initial screening, working with an experienced and responsible shadchan. Only when everything looks right should the prospective couple meet and see if the “chemistry” is right.

    We have created our Crisis by ignoring our successful traditions, proven over many generations.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    My daughter recently became a kalloh and a mutual friend was our shadchen. Both sides were only too delighted to pay him hansomely at more than the going rate. However before this shidduch came up we were involved with a professional shadchen who worked extremely diligently to bring a different shidduch to fruition but for various reasons it never materialised. I immediately sent the professional shadchen an extremely generous sum of money and I believe that in the zechus of behaving menshlich the Aibeshter very quickly sent the richtige zivug to our daughter. The moral of the story is behave with hakorus hatov to those who try to help you out and you will see the rewards!!!

    Henech
    Henech
    14 years ago

    My wife became a member in a “Shiddech-group”, and 6 months later made her first schiddech.
    As she introduced herself the first time, as a shiddech group , to help people forwards , the appreciation was very great, and of course the “schadchunes” was very welcome, but never the less, we didn’t receive any “abnormal sums” rather the rate, from normal shadchunes know to heimische jidden.
    We heard from friends, after the first shiddech to ask for that amount or that amount, to have an idea about the rates going on today, this is not the purpuse of a shiddech-group, or even a normal schadchen.
    Schadchunim who have rates over 2.000$ should be considered, ganovim with a heter.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Enough on this subject. I know nothing about you but since you’re so honest and wouldn’t think of taking something from someone unless they guarantee their income, remember this when your goyite shows up, when you pay your babysitter, when that Mexican cuts your grass, when you send your kids to that heimish day camp down the street, when you (or your wife) gets her shaitel done by the shaitelmacher in her living room, when your kids have haircuts by that talented young lady, when you need alterations done by someone handy with a sewing machine, when your son gets tutored by a yungerman, when your daughter attends kallah classes by the rebbetzin, when you bring a kvittel (which involves monetary payment also) to a rebbe, when you give a couple of dollars to a meshulach, when the mohel performs a bris on your son and needs to get paid, when you chanukah tip your kids’ teachers, rebbes and bus drivers, when you have a heimishe aide sitting by the bedside of a critically ill loved one who gets paid out of your pocket, and the list goes on.
    I’m positive you wouldn’t dream of using the services of anyone I mentioned without making sure they pay their taxes!