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Lakewood, NJ - Camp Counselor Charged With Abuse of Minor

Published on: July 20, 2009 02:05 PM
By: APP
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Lakewood, NJ - A camp counselor who worked at a program run at a Lakewood private school has
been arrested on charges that he sexually assaulted a young boy.

the man of Lakewood, worked as a camp counselor at Yachad, a summer camp based out of Bais Hatorah School on Swathmore Drive, was arrested Sunday, authorities said.

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He was charged with aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child.

Authorities said the criminal activity occurred within the past year, and the victim was a boy under the age of 13.

Bail for the counselor was set at $125,000 and if he is released on bail, he is not allowed to have contact with the victim or anyone else under the age of 18, according to the complaint.

Anyone with information about the case is asked to call Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office Senior Investigation Colleen Lynch in the special victims unit at 732-929-2027, Ext. 2905 or Lakewood Detective Thomas D’Elia at 732-363-0200.

Please note these are only allegations, an individual is innocent until proven otherwise in a court of law

 



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1

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:13 PM chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

2

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:15 PM Anonymous Says:

Is it something in the name?

3

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:17 PM frumster Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

what yiddishe bucher?
The lowlife is 33 years old!

4

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:32 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

#1 Why are you on even on the internet??? You probably just as sick as the accused molester.

5

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:30 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

well say whatever you want! i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing there is someone out there that could be harming children!

it should NEVER happen to you!!!

6

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:27 PM Anonymous Says:

why is it that whenever these stories come out, the ppl that know the 'assaulter' cannot believe for a moment that he is guilty and all the strangers are so quick to pick up on the gossip. would you believe it if i accused your father/brother/son of the same?

7

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:27 PM Chicago Says:

Thank you parents for calling the POLICE to report an assault. This is the ONLY way to go.

8

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:35 PM Anonymous Says:

In response to 1:

On the contrary - it's a mitzvah to expose these sick individuals!!! So many children have been detroyed because of pedephiles like this one.

9

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:33 PM brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

10

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:38 PM Anonymous Says:

There is no "mesura" on a RODEF

11

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:26 PM professor Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

You are a tippish. Threats and the like don't stop predators. If it is not brought to the authorities, he will continue to destroy other chidren. That backward thinking let the likes of perverts like Mondrowitz prey on children for years. We need to stop this stuff right away. Additionally, new laws will make institutions liable for many years. So the tramatized bochur can make claims years from now and destroy the institution financially for not dealing with it now. If the claims are true, he should be punished to the full extent of the law. .

P.S. Is this the infamous Rabbi Kolko's son?

12

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:24 PM Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

This is obviously a tragic story that is happening way too much in our communities.

However, it is good to see that even in Lakewood where the "bays din" exists to "deal with" these problems, and rabbanim have still not publicly told parents to go to the police, parents are finally realizing that in order to stop child molesters, you must involve law enforcement.

Our sympathy and support must go out to the victim and his family, and any other victims, as pedophiles usually do not only abuse one child. If there is "community backlash" against the brave and moral actions of this boy, I would remind him of Rav Elyashiv's psak and how he has been mekayem "tikkon ha'olam" and has saved the lives of many other children.

As to those who will, of course, claim that the molester is innocent, "because I know him and he would never do anything like that" it is high time to realize that in our community especially 13 year old boys almost never make these things up to the point of going to the police, due to the incredible stigma of being a victim and due to the danger of being caught lying. Those of us who work with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse should be trusted by now to tell you the sad truth. We need to start listening to our children or else they will not tell us even when they are hurt.

Asher Lipner, Ph.D.
Vice President of the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children

13

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:22 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
frumster Says:

what yiddishe bucher?
The lowlife is 33 years old!

anyone can walk into a police station and say the same about you. How can we believe every nutcase that decides to ruin someone else's life??? did you hear 2 sides?

14

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:20 PM chacham yosaif Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

U r right! It is asur to do mesira. Instead we should breal his legs and arms. If he goes to the cops it won't be mesira on us and then we can defend ourselves by telling the cops why we did it

15

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:44 PM knacker Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

think of the victims, the true victims before you go around sticking up for the pedophile.

16

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:43 PM Anonymous Says:

anyone who says its a mitzva to inform the public of the accused ones name should learn hilchos lashon hara

18

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:42 PM chaim Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

Brenda,if this animal would have raped you or your child,would you also feel the same way? i don't think so

19

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:41 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #3  
frumster Says:

what yiddishe bucher?
The lowlife is 33 years old!

its uncofirmed!!!

20

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:40 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

A homosexual and a Child Molester is NOT the same thing!

21

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:39 PM LAKEWOOD Says:

THANK GOD THE PAREANTS CALLED POLICE AND NOT THE RABBIS BEC THEY JUST PUSH EVERYTHIN UNDER THE TABLE

22

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:46 PM Simple Yid Says:

To #1 and #9. It is obvious from your comments that you do not have children. On the contrary, this is the biggest mitzva that could possibly have been done.

23

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:45 PM NB Says:

Brenda
Are you freakin serious!
what does this have to with homosexuality??
If he had done this to a girl under 13 it would be the same horror...

24

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:48 PM Aron Says:

Molesting a miner is a much bigger Avurh then Msirah or even Chulal Hshem

25

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:47 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #13  
Anonymous Says:

anyone can walk into a police station and say the same about you. How can we believe every nutcase that decides to ruin someone else's life??? did you hear 2 sides?

Would YOU walk in to a Police Station and embarrase yourself like that? I dont believe anyone would make this up.

26

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:47 PM ANtiPedophile Says:

Reply to #13  
Anonymous Says:

anyone can walk into a police station and say the same about you. How can we believe every nutcase that decides to ruin someone else's life??? did you hear 2 sides?

I know who the real nutcase is in this instance. Give you one guess.

28

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:51 PM NB Says:

You know what?
As someone in mental health I can tell you....these molestations are pikuach nefesh. Those that are molested are dead inside...for life and sometimes commit suicide.
Last time I checked pikuach nefesh is doche EVERYTHING....including what Rabbonim might say.

29

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:47 PM Anonymous Says:

#9 - This is the only way to deter this type of behavior. His picture should be posted as well.

30

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:54 PM Self Control Advocate Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

If he is indeed attracted to individuals of the same gender, that does not excuse assault.
Unwanted sexual advances are considered criminal offenses in this country, Boruch Hashem.
Ironically, they are also considered offenses in the torah.
If an adult person has poor impulse control, he needs to get serious help.
The yetzer hara does not go away if you feed it.

I do feel bad for his poor embarrassed family.
It is certainly a good thing to be supportive of them EMOTIONALLY during such a difficult time. However, to encourage denial of an event when you were not there is stupid. You can condemn a behavior, and encourage treatment without condemning the individual and his family forever.

If there is a problem, they will all be better off if he actually gets real help.

Halevai.

31

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:53 PM Anonymous Says:

Why is a 33 guy being a counsellor or boys. Something is wrong

32

 Jul 20, 2009 at 01:57 PM Concerned Says:


In the early stages of this phenonmena to impact on the frum community, perhaps the rebbes and rabonim were the appropriate parties to be involved. Clearly, now the problem has become so vast, complicated, and numerous that clergy is not at all equipped to handle this problem, mcuh less, to stem the tide of this growing problem. Dozens of victims are being born each month and nobody is taking this problem seriously. Only law enforcement, in conjunction with, NOT in lieu of, clergy can attempt to reverse this growing problem.

Community Activist

33

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:15 PM TheJakeman Says:

Reply to #13  
Anonymous Says:

anyone can walk into a police station and say the same about you. How can we believe every nutcase that decides to ruin someone else's life??? did you hear 2 sides?

But if I told you that an arab killed a yid, you would believe that right away. Right?

You would not wait to hear the 2 sides.

34

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:12 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #12  
Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

This is obviously a tragic story that is happening way too much in our communities.

However, it is good to see that even in Lakewood where the "bays din" exists to "deal with" these problems, and rabbanim have still not publicly told parents to go to the police, parents are finally realizing that in order to stop child molesters, you must involve law enforcement.

Our sympathy and support must go out to the victim and his family, and any other victims, as pedophiles usually do not only abuse one child. If there is "community backlash" against the brave and moral actions of this boy, I would remind him of Rav Elyashiv's psak and how he has been mekayem "tikkon ha'olam" and has saved the lives of many other children.

As to those who will, of course, claim that the molester is innocent, "because I know him and he would never do anything like that" it is high time to realize that in our community especially 13 year old boys almost never make these things up to the point of going to the police, due to the incredible stigma of being a victim and due to the danger of being caught lying. Those of us who work with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse should be trusted by now to tell you the sad truth. We need to start listening to our children or else they will not tell us even when they are hurt.

Asher Lipner, Ph.D.
Vice President of the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

35

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:12 PM Apples & Oranges Says:

Reply to #31  
Anonymous Says:

Why is a 33 guy being a counsellor or boys. Something is wrong

There is nothing inherently wrong with a 33 year old guy being a counselor for boys.
There IS something wrong with giving unwanted and/or unhealthy physical attention to a minor.

Your comment confuses the issue.
It invites additional distrust into the lives of normal caring adults who are not using or abusing their positions with children.
By spreading paranoia, you REDUCE the effectiveness of those who are really trying to eliminate this plague from our machane.

36

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:11 PM help jewishname Says:

lmaseh someone could accuse anybody for anything just to make money

37

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:11 PM Yossi Says:

Reply to #13  
Anonymous Says:

anyone can walk into a police station and say the same about you. How can we believe every nutcase that decides to ruin someone else's life??? did you hear 2 sides?

I find it highly unlikely, and I could not think of a possible motive as to why someone would want to put themselves and their family through this if it was not true.

Besides suffering the humiliation of the act itself, the victim and his family will now have to deal with all the embarrassment that comes along with the publicity.

Does it make sense to you - even for a second - that someone would do something like this just for revenge (or any other reason for that matter)?

While the perpetrator is obviously not guilty until convicted, he is still on the wrong side of the law right now. It is despicable that people immediately prounce upon the victim.

At least try to be reasonable in your comments!

38

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:11 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

This guy is a notorious child molester. My kids' pediatrician treated many of his victims. Until now they were all afraid to go to the police.

39

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:10 PM Rippin Pinchas Says:

Reply to #30  
Self Control Advocate Says:

If he is indeed attracted to individuals of the same gender, that does not excuse assault.
Unwanted sexual advances are considered criminal offenses in this country, Boruch Hashem.
Ironically, they are also considered offenses in the torah.
If an adult person has poor impulse control, he needs to get serious help.
The yetzer hara does not go away if you feed it.

I do feel bad for his poor embarrassed family.
It is certainly a good thing to be supportive of them EMOTIONALLY during such a difficult time. However, to encourage denial of an event when you were not there is stupid. You can condemn a behavior, and encourage treatment without condemning the individual and his family forever.

If there is a problem, they will all be better off if he actually gets real help.

Halevai.

"If there is a problem, they will all be better off if he actually gets real help"

Good point, but recidivism for child molestors is basically 100% and if this is true, he should never be around young children. In addition, regardless of what happens, YK will always be considered dangerous.

Many times, I have posted comments how pathetic parents are when it comes to this subject. Usually, they stick their heads in the sand and then pretend it did not happen. Then, they blame the child. Years later, they blame the rabbonim. Had they went after the scum who molested their child, things would be a lot better. Kudos to those in Lakewood that actually did something about a problem. In contrast, the many moron commentators on this site will attack the Rabbonim and give the parents a free pass.

40

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:06 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

are you crazy if it was my kid g-d forbid i would knock his light out and then call police.

41

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:05 PM sarah Says:

Excellent job, Kuddos for the parents, we have to much menuvalim and ganovim in our communities .its time to make a stop to this and not protect gazlonim menuvalim and ganovim

42

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:24 PM Anonymous Says:

cant believe it took this long...

43

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:22 PM Survivor Says:

It's about time that somebody has common sense and went to the police rather than to his rabbi. We HAVE to expose every pedophile before they assault other kids and murder their Yiddishe Neshumah .

44

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:39 PM Wise Says:

to all of you who believe everything just wait untill someone accuses you or someone in your Family-then you will understand the meaning of Loshon Horah and how horrible it is for a Frum website to post this without any solid proof.

45

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

I am trying to understand your point. Does being married make one an expert on abuse? Does having kids make one an expert on molestation? Seems to me that having a Ph.D. in the field and experience working with abusers and victims would make someone qualified to comment on the issue.

46

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:36 PM THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

what chutzpah you have you lowlife shaigitz. first of all he is not mr. lipner. he is DR. LIPNER and he is vice president of JBAC which is a non profit organization which advocates on protecting our innocent children and trying to clean the system of these sick child molesters and locking them up for hopefully forever. i am flabbergasted people have sympathy for the family of this sick child molester! what about the boy who was molested! you people have no idea what kind of pshycological damages he now has which must now be treated by individuals such as Dr Lipner. this boy will probably never be the same and you people feel bad for the molesters family. i hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom. Baruch Hashem we have people like Dr Lipner and others because if it was up to the rebbeim like Kotler in lakewood this molester would still be in camp tomorow. may Hashem let the children of these sick people on the molesters side and those who are upset hes in jail, get sexually abused in camp or school because aparently that is the only solution to getting you on the right side of this fight against child sexual molestation

47

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:34 PM sad Says:

nephew

48

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:34 PM Realfrumkeit Says:

The frum community has some very serious issues to confront and not learning 10 blatt of gemara a week is not the problem I am referring to. It is high time that serious measures be taken to maintain the kedusha of am yisroel. It means a lot more than sitting on a bench in the yeshiva.

49

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:33 PM Jack not P.h.d. Says:

Its been the "in" thing", for psychologists, therapists, and a well known politician, to go after people who have been arrested on charges. We live in the United States of America, where every man is innocent till proven guilty.

There was a story not too long ago, of a well known community individual who was arrested on child molestation charges. He was fired from his job, and publicly shamed on the radio, and on other "news websites". the charges proved to be false, and this man was dropped of all charges. Not one person who came out against this individual, spoke out and apologized.

I would have to have lived a hundred years ago, to be in denial that there are sick people out there. I do believe that there are sick individuals out there who prey on innocent young children. "YK" is just not one of them............

I believe in giving some people the benefit of the doubt, you see its the three weeks............ Just think if this person was YOUR brother.........He's someones brother. He just may be mine...............

50

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:29 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #11  
professor Says:

You are a tippish. Threats and the like don't stop predators. If it is not brought to the authorities, he will continue to destroy other chidren. That backward thinking let the likes of perverts like Mondrowitz prey on children for years. We need to stop this stuff right away. Additionally, new laws will make institutions liable for many years. So the tramatized bochur can make claims years from now and destroy the institution financially for not dealing with it now. If the claims are true, he should be punished to the full extent of the law. .

P.S. Is this the infamous Rabbi Kolko's son?

It is not his son, But is a relative.

51

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:44 PM s Says:

You are not guilty untill proven so . Nebach some people will come up to heaven with all their mitzvos and they will be denied olam habah for one stupid remark binei am vaidah. But don't say you were not warned or that everybody else did it. The beis din shel maala may say " there is room for everybody" ( but of course not all will go there)
Just because the name has links that does not mean anything . I mean what if my name were Becker does that mean that I bake?! BEWARE!

52

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:25 PM Defend Lipner Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

At least Mr Lipner is not afraid like you to say his name. Why are you questioning his authority? Do you have something to hide?

53

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:25 PM Anonymous Says:

According to your own disclaimer, "these are only allegations, an individual is innocent until proven otherwise in a court of law". So tell me: what separates this from the most dispicable loshon horoh imaginable? I noticed that you have changed the article from ther original one posted by using only the initials of the alleged perpetrator...but then later you mention his last name! Dispense with the sensationalism and refrain from posting innuendo. Wait until you have something genuine to report before dragging someone's name through the mud b'rabim!

54

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:49 PM Yoshuua Says:

Reply to #14  
chacham yosaif Says:

U r right! It is asur to do mesira. Instead we should breal his legs and arms. If he goes to the cops it won't be mesira on us and then we can defend ourselves by telling the cops why we did it

Actually it is not always assur to do mesira(inform), there are cases, many of them involving the safety of children were it is hetter.

55

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:15 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #21  
LAKEWOOD Says:

THANK GOD THE PAREANTS CALLED POLICE AND NOT THE RABBIS BEC THEY JUST PUSH EVERYTHIN UNDER THE TABLE

That's ABSOLUTELY NOT true!!!
It's the hooligans in town that want to push everything under the table. The Rabbis take this very serious & fight tooth & nail to get rid of the pedophiles in town. It's the audacious defiant challengers who try to undermine everything the Rabbis do & say!!

56

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:14 PM Dr. Z Says:

A few facts:

1) Child molesters can and do target special needs children and any otherwise 'vulnerable' children. Sleepaway camp is the easiest place to commit molestation, especially when the camp forbids contact with the child for weeks. Schools and day camps are also locales for abuse. Child molesters try to gain access to children, and hence work--or sometimes volunteer--in positions that bring them in contact with children on a regular basis.

2) Experts like Dr. Lipner know that the vast majority of child molesters can never be cured. At best, they can control their urges. Most molest hundreds if not thousands until caught. If a pediatrician was aware of prior suspected abuse cases, that pediatrician by law was obligated to inform the authorities of suspected abuse. His failure to do so was and is a crime. That person has no business being a doctor for our children if he will not protect them.

3) Denial is one of the common reactions to the shame that abuse triggers. Abusers count on such reactions.

4) Rav Elyashiv, shlita, the gadol ha'dor, counseling families to notify the police for cases of child abuse.

5) Kudos should go to V.I.N. for publicizing such a case, and thus encouraging other victims and their families to take immediate action to expose the pedophiles among us, and hence protect hundreds of potential future victims,

6) The damage done by child sexual molestation is enormous, and often life-long, in the great majority of cases, in my experience. The Torah speaks of a rodef as someone running after a youth for the purposes of molestation / rape. Is this not similar?

57

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:08 PM THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

Reply to #44  
Wise Says:

to all of you who believe everything just wait untill someone accuses you or someone in your Family-then you will understand the meaning of Loshon Horah and how horrible it is for a Frum website to post this without any solid proof.

solid proof? a 13 yr old telling police details about the molestation and probably simanim of kolkos body is solid proof! you are really sick and twisted if you think otherwise. what do you need? you need a videotape. maybe we should have you or your child in the same room with the guy and we'l videotape it and we'l have proof that is up to par for you.

58

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:38 PM a victim Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

You are disgusting. The fact that he is counseling so many victims and sees their pain makes him more qualified than you.

59

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

This comment takes irresponsibility to new heights. "Dr." Lipner has considerable training and experience that qualifies him to comment about this case. If you do, then share your name so that we readers can judge that. Aside from the frivolous chutzpah of questioning Dr. Lipner's qualifications, it seems that you are trying to make a point through "killing the messenger". What about the message? A child reported he was molested, and a perpetrator was identified. Let the process of investigation and prosecution go on, and get your snobby, biased, and clouded view of the world out of it. If you have an alternative way to help, then suggest it. By the way, how do you know that the victim didn't ask a shailoh about reporting and was given a heter? That does happen, and by some pretty renowned and reliable poskim.

60

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:36 PM Anonymous Says:

While I have no problem with informing authorities since frankly in this area daas torah is nogaya bidovar, its a shame to publisize these things. Remember, the victum gets anonimity why can't the accused get the same until proven guilty?

As to proof, I would say DNA analyses or witnesses is required. Men go to the mikva!!!

61

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:44 PM Yudi's talmid Says:

Reply to #2  
Anonymous Says:

Is it something in the name?

I wonder if is his UNCLE Yudi violated him. It is a really sad situation. However, it is one for which his "guilt" could never be excused (while at risk for becoming perpetrators themselves, COUNTLESS victims don't travel down that path).

62

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:43 PM Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

Reply to #49  
Jack not P.h.d. Says:

Its been the "in" thing", for psychologists, therapists, and a well known politician, to go after people who have been arrested on charges. We live in the United States of America, where every man is innocent till proven guilty.

There was a story not too long ago, of a well known community individual who was arrested on child molestation charges. He was fired from his job, and publicly shamed on the radio, and on other "news websites". the charges proved to be false, and this man was dropped of all charges. Not one person who came out against this individual, spoke out and apologized.

I would have to have lived a hundred years ago, to be in denial that there are sick people out there. I do believe that there are sick individuals out there who prey on innocent young children. "YK" is just not one of them............

I believe in giving some people the benefit of the doubt, you see its the three weeks............ Just think if this person was YOUR brother.........He's someones brother. He just may be mine...............

If it is your brother, then perhaps you should have be evaluated by professionals to see if he has deviant sexual attraction and arousal, and, if he is denying it, which we have yet to hear, to take a lie detector test to see if he is lying.

As for the case you refer to of the dropped charges, I have heard of no such case. Would it not be a mitzvah lfarsem that the charges were not true? Should you not be trying to rehabilitate the terrible damage of this man's reputation by informing all of us? I must say, I would have an easier time believing this story if it had a name attached to it.

In fact, anybody who knows someone who was wrongfully arrested, I would ask for you to please contact me privately since I do not know of any such cases although I am sure it could happen. Anything could happen. I just don't know of any, and would like to.

Asher, lipnera@gmail.com

63

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:32 PM Kal Ve'choimer Says:

There should be a law that prohibits the media from publishing names of criminal "suspects" unless and until they are proven guilty, just like they can't publish rape victims, and for the same reasons. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for the fight against child molesters, it is a terrible crime and should be completely eradicated, but I also see the other side that some people might accused of crimes they never committed and their names can be ruined forever by the false claim. Shalom al Israel.

64

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:49 PM Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

If I would understand how answering those personal questions would have anything to do with my qualifications I might consider answering them.

But, I believe, that my qualifications come from the fact that I have worked for years as a psychotherapist with many survivors of sexual abuse both in our community and without. I have also provided evaluations and treated sex offenders.

I believe my professional experience is more germane to the discussion.

Now, if you want to redt me a shidduch ..that is another story. :-)

Asher

65

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:54 PM hurting for victim Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

sorry, but PhD does mean more in this instance than personal info.

66

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:26 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
Aron Says:

Molesting a miner is a much bigger Avurh then Msirah or even Chulal Hshem

Really? And where did you get this piece of information from?

67

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:24 PM sceptical Says:

Reply to #12  
Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

This is obviously a tragic story that is happening way too much in our communities.

However, it is good to see that even in Lakewood where the "bays din" exists to "deal with" these problems, and rabbanim have still not publicly told parents to go to the police, parents are finally realizing that in order to stop child molesters, you must involve law enforcement.

Our sympathy and support must go out to the victim and his family, and any other victims, as pedophiles usually do not only abuse one child. If there is "community backlash" against the brave and moral actions of this boy, I would remind him of Rav Elyashiv's psak and how he has been mekayem "tikkon ha'olam" and has saved the lives of many other children.

As to those who will, of course, claim that the molester is innocent, "because I know him and he would never do anything like that" it is high time to realize that in our community especially 13 year old boys almost never make these things up to the point of going to the police, due to the incredible stigma of being a victim and due to the danger of being caught lying. Those of us who work with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse should be trusted by now to tell you the sad truth. We need to start listening to our children or else they will not tell us even when they are hurt.

Asher Lipner, Ph.D.
Vice President of the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children

Asher your profile and the accuseds profile are very similar is it no wonder that you have to come out yelling and screaming that your helping the children (remember mondrowitz was also helping children) its funny that those that know you are always saying these things about you
Go figure

68

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:01 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #38  
Anonymous Says:

This guy is a notorious child molester. My kids' pediatrician treated many of his victims. Until now they were all afraid to go to the police.

Your pediatrician treated many of his victims and didn't go to the police??? He is a mandated reporter and is just as guilty as the perpetrator!!

69

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:59 PM Chicago Says:

Reply to #63  
Kal Ve'choimer Says:

There should be a law that prohibits the media from publishing names of criminal "suspects" unless and until they are proven guilty, just like they can't publish rape victims, and for the same reasons. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for the fight against child molesters, it is a terrible crime and should be completely eradicated, but I also see the other side that some people might accused of crimes they never committed and their names can be ruined forever by the false claim. Shalom al Israel.

Criminal "suspects" names and photos are published in order to see if more victims come forward with similar stories or more corroborating evidence of past misdeeds similar to that which he is accused of.

The only way to fight abuse, ESPECIALLY in our community is by shining a 500 watt spotlight on the accused. They love working their sewage in the dark, shine a light and watch them squirm.

If every parent years ago informed the POLICE when they heard things, we would have turned the corner years ago.

70

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:57 PM Brisker Lamdan Says:

Reply to #44  
Wise Says:

to all of you who believe everything just wait untill someone accuses you or someone in your Family-then you will understand the meaning of Loshon Horah and how horrible it is for a Frum website to post this without any solid proof.

How come so many people here are fummer than Rav Elyashiv when it comes to hilchos lashon harah and mesira?

Rav Elyashiv paskened that as long as there are Raglayim Ladavar it is a mitzvah to go to the police and to protect society. You do not need to have "solid proof" or be "absolutely sure" when it comes to such matters of Pikuach Nefesh.

If someone was planning to murder you, would I have to be 100% sure before I told you because of the lashon harah laws?

Rabosay, people need to start using the G-d given brains they have and stop drinking the Kool-Aid given out by leaders of our cult-like community. If you put even a modicum of thought into your comments and responses you will easily realize that what Vosizneias is doing is the greatest mitzvah and chesed possible. We MUST support them. Chazak V'ematz!

Yasher Koach

71

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:22 PM yoselle Says:

mesira is somtimes actually a mitzvah to do, if the person is a gevar alim, or if beth din is powerless

72

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:20 PM pleeeze Says:

Please we need to be don lekav zechut.. The nine days are coming Just becuase he was accused and shares the same last name doesn't mean he is guilty

73

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:03 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #49  
Jack not P.h.d. Says:

Its been the "in" thing", for psychologists, therapists, and a well known politician, to go after people who have been arrested on charges. We live in the United States of America, where every man is innocent till proven guilty.

There was a story not too long ago, of a well known community individual who was arrested on child molestation charges. He was fired from his job, and publicly shamed on the radio, and on other "news websites". the charges proved to be false, and this man was dropped of all charges. Not one person who came out against this individual, spoke out and apologized.

I would have to have lived a hundred years ago, to be in denial that there are sick people out there. I do believe that there are sick individuals out there who prey on innocent young children. "YK" is just not one of them............

I believe in giving some people the benefit of the doubt, you see its the three weeks............ Just think if this person was YOUR brother.........He's someones brother. He just may be mine...............

If you do not know Dr. Lipner or understand the great sacrifice he has been through being a true advocate on behalf of victims then you ought to keep your fat mouth shut, putz.

74

 Jul 20, 2009 at 03:02 PM THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

Reply to #49  
Jack not P.h.d. Says:

Its been the "in" thing", for psychologists, therapists, and a well known politician, to go after people who have been arrested on charges. We live in the United States of America, where every man is innocent till proven guilty.

There was a story not too long ago, of a well known community individual who was arrested on child molestation charges. He was fired from his job, and publicly shamed on the radio, and on other "news websites". the charges proved to be false, and this man was dropped of all charges. Not one person who came out against this individual, spoke out and apologized.

I would have to have lived a hundred years ago, to be in denial that there are sick people out there. I do believe that there are sick individuals out there who prey on innocent young children. "YK" is just not one of them............

I believe in giving some people the benefit of the doubt, you see its the three weeks............ Just think if this person was YOUR brother.........He's someones brother. He just may be mine...............

JUST think if your child was the one abused by this sick molester shagitz yemach shemam vzichram. this guy may be your brother. so what. you think molesters and predators dont have brothers? you think murderers and rapists dont have brothers? if he is your brother we should lock you up to because your probably a molester yourself with a name like that. too bad the police cant castrate this guy and then just kill him and then kill the legendary yehuda kolko. if my brother molested innocent children i would call the cops myself and anyone who doesnt should go to jail

75

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:56 PM feduplakewooder Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

are you insane?i hope you never get "touched "by sexual abuse.but if you do i would defend your right to be moiser on the yiddishe bochur

76

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:11 PM Aron Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

He is not a homosexual who is in need of help, he is a sick, twisted, child MOLESTER. a CHILD MOLESTER is NOT the same thing as a homosexual. Molestation and abuse are not sexual acts, they are acts of power, like rape, homosexuality is considered a deviance. Don't even put the two categories on the same sentence. Homosexuals need help, child molesters need body parts cut off.

77

 Jul 20, 2009 at 02:58 PM Getzel the Pretzel Says:

Reply to #14  
chacham yosaif Says:

U r right! It is asur to do mesira. Instead we should breal his legs and arms. If he goes to the cops it won't be mesira on us and then we can defend ourselves by telling the cops why we did it

If someone has a din rotzeach then there is no issur mesirah. That individual does not necessarily have to kill someone. For example, in Choshen Mishpat a person that forges things has a din rotzeich. The gedolei hador have paskened that the same applies to a molester.

78

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:25 PM gregaaron Says:

Reply to #38  
Anonymous Says:

This guy is a notorious child molester. My kids' pediatrician treated many of his victims. Until now they were all afraid to go to the police.

I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that a "notorious child molestor" - who apparantly (according to you) is known as one by a local doctor - would have a job in any camp. If people knew about it, then the parents in the camp would've had a cow.

79

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:15 PM Yudi's talmid Says:

Reply to #67  
sceptical Says:

Asher your profile and the accuseds profile are very similar is it no wonder that you have to come out yelling and screaming that your helping the children (remember mondrowitz was also helping children) its funny that those that know you are always saying these things about you
Go figure

Excuse me Mr. "Sceptical" (sic), you make an EXCELLENT point, they DO have similar profiles: one ARRESTED for molesting a child, and the other for HELPING them! I can't believe I didn't pick up on this sooner.

Shkoyach!

80

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:29 PM Anonymous Says:

i know someone who worked there also. does that mean we should watch out for him? g-d forbid!! we cannot believe such a story!!!!! Heaven help us all!! He IS an ehrliche yorei shamayim!!!!

81

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
Aron Says:

Molesting a miner is a much bigger Avurh then Msirah or even Chulal Hshem

Aron I think you mean minor, I doubt anyone working in mining would allow themself to be molested.

82

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:27 PM Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

83

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:58 PM M.D. Says:

In response to #82:

If there is reasonable suspicion that someone represents a potential danger to your child, you are obligated ethically and according to the Torah to act to protect your child. Do not adopt a herd mentality, and do not rely on the administrators and principal etc when it comes to safety in this area.

They will 'bury' their mistakes and go into defensive mode, to protect their institution, and due to their ignorance--or outright psychological denial--will not investigate, but will use a common psychological heuristic (short cut) and choose to believe the alleged pedophile and blame the apparent victim. That is psychologically and administratively the easiest thing to do.

Pressure, and a lot of it, will also be put on the victim, and the family, by those too ignorant or too evil to know better or to care.

Do what you have to do to protect your child. That might mean getting together with other parents and threatening to withdraw a group of children, all at once, if the yeshiva lets someone is very possibly dangerous to children back into a teaching role.

In the area of child abuse, use SAFETY as your guideline. You do not need a Ph.D. or an M.D. or semicha to figure this out. This is common sense. This is the responsibility of each and every parent.

Be a parent. Protect your child.

84

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:49 PM JaneSamuels Says:

Reply to #34  
Anonymous Says:

Mr Lipner are you married, do you have children? Could you please advise, we would like to know your qaulifications. The fact that tyou have a PhD means nothing.

Anonymous may I respectfully suggest you come out of hiding and have your name atttached to your post.

It doesnt make one iota if someone with a PhD is married with or without children, take if from someone who knows. I have no children simply as I have lost far more than your average frum family, 23 to be precise.

Yet I still work in this field helping YOUR children getting over the effects of abuse.

What is it that my bubbe used to say.. emply minds make the most annoying noises - interesting annoying and anonymous begin the same..

85

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:05 PM Shaul in Monsey Says:

To any so called frum people out there, whether you are FFB or BT, kippa srugah or leather, blue shirt or white shirt - you should all be put on notice that your chazzerfressing while our youth are being raped is over. You will no longer be able to exploit Torah values and hide behind your upshlugging and tisk tisking with code words like loshon horah and mesirah.

Every time one of you fake frum morons uses loshon horah as an excuse why not to report a child molestor, the Chofetz Chayim rolls over in his grave. The Torah wasn't created to protect animals who rape our youth and get the jollies off by molesting our children.

All your learning is laughed at in shomayim when you cry mesirah as a reason not to report a child molestor. You might as well be driving on shabbos to church with a double cheeseburger in your mouth than thinking that someone who rapes a young boy should be dealt with by rabbonim and not put in prison.

It is a disgrace that Yudi Kolko was allowed for so long to rape the harem of boys that the pimp Margolis provided him, but now that he has been exposed, no one can look at that animal without mentally counting where their kids are and makling sure they are no where near this beheima.

I hope this guy in Lakewood has a long time to think about what he's done. And if he's innocent, I'd rather see him incarcerated and then released so that while there is a doubt as to his ability to be near children he is locked away with no chance of harming anyone. Its about time that the children, and not the accused molestors, were given the benefit of the doubt.

And to all the gekroizeled peyis twirling freaks out there, and all the beards that bury their head in the sand, go learn the leining for Yom Kippur Mincha to see what kind of animals exist in the frimme velt, then make a fool out of yourself claiming so and so would never do such a thing.

86

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:33 PM A Says:

Reply to #35  
Apples & Oranges Says:

There is nothing inherently wrong with a 33 year old guy being a counselor for boys.
There IS something wrong with giving unwanted and/or unhealthy physical attention to a minor.

Your comment confuses the issue.
It invites additional distrust into the lives of normal caring adults who are not using or abusing their positions with children.
By spreading paranoia, you REDUCE the effectiveness of those who are really trying to eliminate this plague from our machane.

Sorry, while there may not be something "inherently wrong" there IS something odd about a 33 year old man working as a counselor in summer camp. Most counselors are in their late teens, sometimes in their early 20s. They're in school during most of the year and work at camp during the summers. The camp director and staff are a little older, but not the counselors. Most men, by the time they hit 33, are at a full time job that doesn't allow for them to work summers as counselors at a camp.

87

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #68  
Anonymous Says:

Your pediatrician treated many of his victims and didn't go to the police??? He is a mandated reporter and is just as guilty as the perpetrator!!

Yes, he did go to the police! However, the victims refused to press charges and testify.

88

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:21 PM Yankel in BP Says:

Make sure the accusations are true then break his legs,hands,and nose,then call the police thats how we in vizhnitz do it

89

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:17 PM Ralph Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Pedophiles like this should be publicly castrated, not hidden away from society because he's "Jewish and we have to protect our own". Any person, rabbi, scholar, ignoramous, or otherwise, who knows about a molester and doesn't report them should go to jail with them.

90

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:16 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

Brenda, crawl back to the hole you were hiding the last 500 years, Gay and molestation is not one and the same. Go get another 500 years nap see you then.

91

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:13 PM clever Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

ru crazy??? ur prob. the same prevert like tht 1 if y speak tht way.... lemme c if some1 should assault like tht ur son or of some1 qld do this 2u when ur were under 13 what ud say then.... u know this cld traumutize some1 4 his life this cld kill some1 away... its no jokes this... enough w/ppl who can't control themselves... what a dump comment frm u!!

92

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:39 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

OR, you can pull your son out, and tell the Yeshiva that if they allow that animal back into school you will not allow your son back into school, or place your son elsewhere, pay tuition somewhere else, etc.. there is always an option for a well informed parent. An ill informed parent will place the responsibility on the shoulders of someone else.

93

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:38 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

You are not a parent in Orchos Chaim. You are a serial poster about alleged molestation. You want to make a point, fine but do not say such an obvious lie.

94

 Jul 20, 2009 at 04:34 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #24  
Aron Says:

Molesting a miner is a much bigger Avurh then Msirah or even Chulal Hshem

so that makes it RIGHT???????????

95

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:40 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #46  
THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

what chutzpah you have you lowlife shaigitz. first of all he is not mr. lipner. he is DR. LIPNER and he is vice president of JBAC which is a non profit organization which advocates on protecting our innocent children and trying to clean the system of these sick child molesters and locking them up for hopefully forever. i am flabbergasted people have sympathy for the family of this sick child molester! what about the boy who was molested! you people have no idea what kind of pshycological damages he now has which must now be treated by individuals such as Dr Lipner. this boy will probably never be the same and you people feel bad for the molesters family. i hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom. Baruch Hashem we have people like Dr Lipner and others because if it was up to the rebbeim like Kotler in lakewood this molester would still be in camp tomorow. may Hashem let the children of these sick people on the molesters side and those who are upset hes in jail, get sexually abused in camp or school because aparently that is the only solution to getting you on the right side of this fight against child sexual molestation

I do agree with you thoughts but I must protest on one point you wrote.
“I hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom”
why would you say this about the “molesters family” they are in pain to.

96

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:53 PM Gersh Says:

If your child was molested. CALL THE POLICE! Please do this before more children are molested!!!! Why do we need to be reminded to do this??

97

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:48 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #63  
Kal Ve'choimer Says:

There should be a law that prohibits the media from publishing names of criminal "suspects" unless and until they are proven guilty, just like they can't publish rape victims, and for the same reasons. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for the fight against child molesters, it is a terrible crime and should be completely eradicated, but I also see the other side that some people might accused of crimes they never committed and their names can be ruined forever by the false claim. Shalom al Israel.

So you want to amend the Constitution, go back to school

98

 Jul 20, 2009 at 05:45 PM tothemoser Says:

You know who im talking to. You tried to destroy out school, you were miztair an almuna, you mosered , I was just waiting when it would happen back to you, I didnt think it would happen this fast

99

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:02 PM JaneSamuels Says:

A few important facts are being over looked here:

We know that rarely does anyone claim they have been abused when they havent, the incident rate world wide is lower than .5%.

Not everyone who has been abused goes on to abuse, BUT 99% of abusers where abused themselves.

100

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:49 PM THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

Reply to #95  
Anonymous Says:

I do agree with you thoughts but I must protest on one point you wrote.
“I hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom”
why would you say this about the “molesters family” they are in pain to.

good point but i think the family must have known about it for years and tried to hide it in the closet and they were successful because the lakewood crowd wont testify and finally someone did. i find it very hard to believe someone related to this individual who lived or lives with him did not know about his molestation and they could have called the authorities. if they honestly didnt then they should not burn but they should certainly not defend him simply because he is their brother and 'it just cant be'

101

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:47 PM Anonymous Says:

I find it intresting that when it came to the case of the child whose life was possibly being threatened by a mother who was allegedly starving him to death, the oylam here feels that the mother should never have been arrested.

WHen it comes to this case, the oylam is happy that the guy was arrested.

When it comes to the mother, there is video and circumstantial evidence.
Yet the oylam is upset with her being arrested.

Personally, I think they both deserved to be arrested.

But, for he rest of you, what's the chiluk?

Because the woman was arrested by the treife medinah and the man here was arrested by US authorities?

Or is it that starving a child deserves less protection from a (possibly insane) Yiddishe Mama?

102

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:41 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

Keep up the pressure and do not stop until you are given complete answers. Do not allow naysayers to get to you because they will try their darndest to deter you.

103

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:23 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

Empower yourself by alligning with like minded parents within the school and harrass the administration until they give you good reason to feel secure (agree to cooperate with the authorities). Strength is in numbers. Chazak Veematz.

104

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:12 PM Anonymous Says:

To all you "erlicher yidden" out there who are so concerned, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? You can stay away from him if you'd like, but some of these responses are real winners. It makes me realize why moshiach is not here yet. just remember that I can walk into any police station and say the exact same thing about you. Think of it as if it's your life, would you be so quick to accuse??
And to whoever posted his name - shame on you. If he turns out innocent you have blood on your hands.

105

 Jul 20, 2009 at 06:11 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #46  
THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

what chutzpah you have you lowlife shaigitz. first of all he is not mr. lipner. he is DR. LIPNER and he is vice president of JBAC which is a non profit organization which advocates on protecting our innocent children and trying to clean the system of these sick child molesters and locking them up for hopefully forever. i am flabbergasted people have sympathy for the family of this sick child molester! what about the boy who was molested! you people have no idea what kind of pshycological damages he now has which must now be treated by individuals such as Dr Lipner. this boy will probably never be the same and you people feel bad for the molesters family. i hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom. Baruch Hashem we have people like Dr Lipner and others because if it was up to the rebbeim like Kotler in lakewood this molester would still be in camp tomorow. may Hashem let the children of these sick people on the molesters side and those who are upset hes in jail, get sexually abused in camp or school because aparently that is the only solution to getting you on the right side of this fight against child sexual molestation

Thank you Fighter. I was waiting for someone to speak up for Dr. Lipner. You did a favor for all of us readers of this blog.

106

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:39 PM Raphael Kaufman Says:

Reply to #94  
Anonymous Says:

so that makes it RIGHT???????????

Yes

107

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:37 PM Raphael Kaufman Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

1. I did not see the suspect's name mentioned anywhere in the post. The name and address listed was for the prosecutors office.

2. He is not simply a homosexual. He is accused of the equivalent of rape of a minor. Are you seriously proposing that it is more important to avoid embarassing the perp's family than protecting children for a sexual predator?

108

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #104  
Anonymous Says:

To all you "erlicher yidden" out there who are so concerned, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? You can stay away from him if you'd like, but some of these responses are real winners. It makes me realize why moshiach is not here yet. just remember that I can walk into any police station and say the exact same thing about you. Think of it as if it's your life, would you be so quick to accuse??
And to whoever posted his name - shame on you. If he turns out innocent you have blood on your hands.

and if it turns out that he is guilty then you will be held responsible for shtopping this and other vital issues under the solomon carpet

109

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:43 PM Loshon Hora Says:

To # 82 the story says may not be near children. No worry.
Is he a bochur or married, If Bochur why melamed in OC the Rambam doesn't allow Bochurim to be melamdim, & in Lakewood ther are enough Avreichim?
[no descrimination Chas veshalom against bochurim , just halchic view.]
Why are people posting names?
The other Moisad I thought closed down, because of problems[strike]. What is the almona story & closing moisad story?
Strange posters here.
Unbelievable how this topic bring all worms out of the woodwork 100 posts within an hour.
What is the attraction to this sick sadness are so many ..?

110

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:31 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #86  
A Says:

Sorry, while there may not be something "inherently wrong" there IS something odd about a 33 year old man working as a counselor in summer camp. Most counselors are in their late teens, sometimes in their early 20s. They're in school during most of the year and work at camp during the summers. The camp director and staff are a little older, but not the counselors. Most men, by the time they hit 33, are at a full time job that doesn't allow for them to work summers as counselors at a camp.

I know a rebbe in his 30's who is off from teaching in the summer and has worked as a daycamp counselor. What's wrong with that? (he is married, if that makes a difference)

111

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:09 PM maddoff Says:

#1. I do not would like to hear what would you say if the victim was one of your kids,cv
this is worse than maddoff!
money comes and go
but this neshama was distryed by the abuser

112

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:08 PM THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

Reply to #101  
Anonymous Says:

I find it intresting that when it came to the case of the child whose life was possibly being threatened by a mother who was allegedly starving him to death, the oylam here feels that the mother should never have been arrested.

WHen it comes to this case, the oylam is happy that the guy was arrested.

When it comes to the mother, there is video and circumstantial evidence.
Yet the oylam is upset with her being arrested.

Personally, I think they both deserved to be arrested.

But, for he rest of you, what's the chiluk?

Because the woman was arrested by the treife medinah and the man here was arrested by US authorities?

Or is it that starving a child deserves less protection from a (possibly insane) Yiddishe Mama?

i support the arrest of this molester but i am against arresting the mother. i think she should be separated from her children maybe in a insane asylum but the woman obviously has mental issues and a psychiactric ward is more appropriate than jail because she is not a criminal, she is just not normal. this molester is a criminal just like a rapist or a murderer and knows right and wrong and acts anyway. i dont think the mother does. i think she thought what she was doing was correct and that she thought she was helping her child so these two cases are very different.

113

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:03 PM Pinny Says:

I just got home and decided to catch up on the happenings of the day by reading VIN. I came across this bittersweet story, bitter for what happened and sweet (not really) that the victim had the courage to come forward so he can help himself and save who knows how many other future victims.

As I am reading the comments I couldn’t read any further than #34. How dare you ask such personal questions from Dr. Lipner or anyone else for that matter? My rapist who raped many others is married and is a father and has a lot of children, his qualification? He is a rapist. What does that have to do with one another? Can’t you read English? He gave his qualifications. He is a PHD and has years of experience with victims and perpetrators.

I had the privilege to meet and speak to Dr. Lipner on many occasions. I know Dr Lipner as a professional not as a married person, I know him as caring not as a single person, I know him as one of the most active fighter against this evil not as being a father, I know him as someone who speaks what he believes not as not being a father. Shame on you lowlife.

Thanks to Dr. Lipner and his friend. Only because of their endless activism we heard stories in the last couple of months of victims coming out against their abusers. You may or may not agree with him, you can even criticize him but his sincerity can not be questioned.

I would like to ask you a few questions and sign your name please.

Are you a rapist? Are you a child molester? Do you have child porn stashed on your computer? Lowlife! What is your qualification exactly?

Pinny

114

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:48 PM s Says:

Reply to #104  
Anonymous Says:

To all you "erlicher yidden" out there who are so concerned, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? You can stay away from him if you'd like, but some of these responses are real winners. It makes me realize why moshiach is not here yet. just remember that I can walk into any police station and say the exact same thing about you. Think of it as if it's your life, would you be so quick to accuse??
And to whoever posted his name - shame on you. If he turns out innocent you have blood on your hands.

Look at comment 51

115

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:47 PM Anonymous Says:

Have rachmunis on his parents - they are saints.

116

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:45 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #78  
gregaaron Says:

I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that a "notorious child molestor" - who apparantly (according to you) is known as one by a local doctor - would have a job in any camp. If people knew about it, then the parents in the camp would've had a cow.

precisely the point . Everyone in lakewood believes what they want to believe .

117

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:45 PM Anonymous Says:

1.Two case histories that i know first hand
2.A bochur in Lkwd.was having a hard time with a shidduch.Boruch hashem after several years he met his zivug and is happily married.I was his shomer the day before his chasunah and we had lengthy discussions,one of which was what took so long.What came out was how he was abused by three seperate bochurim in a very famous yeshiva.I spoke to his parents about this,they are in denial,an dthis is 10 years later.I begged him to go to the police,he said one of them was recently arrested,but he does not want his wife to know what he went through.I understand him and this is the problem.The humiliation that one has by going public is severe.
3.Case number 2-a very respected family in the community were gathered at a family get together when an 8 year old started talking about a certain relative who likes to.......Iit is nivul peh to even finish the statement.So do u go to the police on your brother/brother in law/husband?It is a catch 22 situationOur rabanim are very aware of this and there are no simple answers
4.A member of the community attempted to abuse my 11 year old,who boruch hashem ran away from him.I went to the police to discuss it.I was told what my son would go throgh in order to prosecute this guy,believe me it was not worth it,especially since he was not sucessful.I did inform neighbors and lambasted those who knew and did not publicize it.I also wanted to beat the guy up,but he is a real sick person who needs help.Venting my anger woulkd not help allthough if we adopted a zero tolerance attitude it would be a detterent
5.I remember 28 years ago when Mondorowitz ran away to Israel and I would see him at the kosel,it made me sick.But Maran Hagadol Harav Auerbach ztl said without bais din u can not do anything.We must have a bais din that would convene on a moments notice ,collect the evidence and not schlep out with three hazmanus and holchin acarey hanitva,but i do not know if they have such a koach.The torah guides us and many times sad and unfortunate things happen and we are helpless.
To all thos ewho say innocent until proven guilty,by who,by a jury of losers?The one that found O.J.innocent?The jury system is a joke and most people plea bargain

118

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:45 PM Nur Eminah Says:

Reply to #16  
Anonymous Says:

anyone who says its a mitzva to inform the public of the accused ones name should learn hilchos lashon hara

I'm sorry, but you are crazy! LOSHON HORA? You have most likely never learned those halachos, because the halacha is that for a good purpose you are allowed to say the information. In this case, you are mechuyiv to tell, because you're dealing with dinei nefashos. Oh, I forgot! Mostprobably, noone in your family was ever molested, so it's not dinei nefashos! OK, mabe you'll haveto learn the hard way: Either someone in your family will be molested ch"v, or YOU will be BEHIND BARS YOURSELF!

119

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:44 PM once abused Says:

Good move going to the police. When I was a 13 year old boy a bochur from a older grade did something like this to me. I told my parents who told the rosh hayishiva and the boy was thrown out of the yishiva. But that is it, he moved on went to a different yishiva who knows what he did there?? While I had to live with the feeling of someone using me because i was a good Yiddish boy and was naive . Baruch Hashem I am now married and I have the best wife in the world, but I still sometimes think that if I ever see this menuvel I will brake his legs. So I just want to say to anyone out there that had a story like this to come out and don't let them get away with this.

120

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:50 PM ex-Lakewooder Says:

Reply to #86  
A Says:

Sorry, while there may not be something "inherently wrong" there IS something odd about a 33 year old man working as a counselor in summer camp. Most counselors are in their late teens, sometimes in their early 20s. They're in school during most of the year and work at camp during the summers. The camp director and staff are a little older, but not the counselors. Most men, by the time they hit 33, are at a full time job that doesn't allow for them to work summers as counselors at a camp.

In Lakewood many rebbeim who teach September-June are counselors in day camps during the summer. Its very common there.

121

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #16  
Anonymous Says:

anyone who says its a mitzva to inform the public of the accused ones name should learn hilchos lashon hara

Been there done that. I can hols my own against anyone squealing like a pig about hilchos loshon hora. I checked it out most thoroughly and being mefarsim those who do this is not loshon hora. Even if it is a mere rumor of the ccaliber of kol d'lo possok it is not loshon hora and as stated by the rambam it is a mitzva.

122

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:30 PM sceptical Says:

Reply to #117  
Anonymous Says:

1.Two case histories that i know first hand
2.A bochur in Lkwd.was having a hard time with a shidduch.Boruch hashem after several years he met his zivug and is happily married.I was his shomer the day before his chasunah and we had lengthy discussions,one of which was what took so long.What came out was how he was abused by three seperate bochurim in a very famous yeshiva.I spoke to his parents about this,they are in denial,an dthis is 10 years later.I begged him to go to the police,he said one of them was recently arrested,but he does not want his wife to know what he went through.I understand him and this is the problem.The humiliation that one has by going public is severe.
3.Case number 2-a very respected family in the community were gathered at a family get together when an 8 year old started talking about a certain relative who likes to.......Iit is nivul peh to even finish the statement.So do u go to the police on your brother/brother in law/husband?It is a catch 22 situationOur rabanim are very aware of this and there are no simple answers
4.A member of the community attempted to abuse my 11 year old,who boruch hashem ran away from him.I went to the police to discuss it.I was told what my son would go throgh in order to prosecute this guy,believe me it was not worth it,especially since he was not sucessful.I did inform neighbors and lambasted those who knew and did not publicize it.I also wanted to beat the guy up,but he is a real sick person who needs help.Venting my anger woulkd not help allthough if we adopted a zero tolerance attitude it would be a detterent
5.I remember 28 years ago when Mondorowitz ran away to Israel and I would see him at the kosel,it made me sick.But Maran Hagadol Harav Auerbach ztl said without bais din u can not do anything.We must have a bais din that would convene on a moments notice ,collect the evidence and not schlep out with three hazmanus and holchin acarey hanitva,but i do not know if they have such a koach.The torah guides us and many times sad and unfortunate things happen and we are helpless.
To all thos ewho say innocent until proven guilty,by who,by a jury of losers?The one that found O.J.innocent?The jury system is a joke and most people plea bargain

wow you seem to know so many peaple that where molested maybe your just have molestation on your head the entire day so thats all you see no matter what it is in reality

123

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:16 PM Nur Eminah Says:

Reply to #46  
THE ABUSE FIGHTER Says:

what chutzpah you have you lowlife shaigitz. first of all he is not mr. lipner. he is DR. LIPNER and he is vice president of JBAC which is a non profit organization which advocates on protecting our innocent children and trying to clean the system of these sick child molesters and locking them up for hopefully forever. i am flabbergasted people have sympathy for the family of this sick child molester! what about the boy who was molested! you people have no idea what kind of pshycological damages he now has which must now be treated by individuals such as Dr Lipner. this boy will probably never be the same and you people feel bad for the molesters family. i hope the molesters family and all those who feel bad for him and his family should burn in the fiery flames of gehinom. Baruch Hashem we have people like Dr Lipner and others because if it was up to the rebbeim like Kotler in lakewood this molester would still be in camp tomorow. may Hashem let the children of these sick people on the molesters side and those who are upset hes in jail, get sexually abused in camp or school because aparently that is the only solution to getting you on the right side of this fight against child sexual molestation

I don't understand why someone would curse the molester's family. I hope they get through this ordeal the best way possible. What nachas to have such a member in the family rch"l . As for the molester himself, he will probably not just burn for the sin itself but also for the bushah that his family is going through.

124

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:49 PM glatekup Says:

Reply to #109  
Loshon Hora Says:

To # 82 the story says may not be near children. No worry.
Is he a bochur or married, If Bochur why melamed in OC the Rambam doesn't allow Bochurim to be melamdim, & in Lakewood ther are enough Avreichim?
[no descrimination Chas veshalom against bochurim , just halchic view.]
Why are people posting names?
The other Moisad I thought closed down, because of problems[strike]. What is the almona story & closing moisad story?
Strange posters here.
Unbelievable how this topic bring all worms out of the woodwork 100 posts within an hour.
What is the attraction to this sick sadness are so many ..?

1. He is a english teacher in orchos chaim and in regards to bais hatorah, it did not close down. They are working on straightening out the problems.

125

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:43 PM TorahJew Says:

Reply to #78  
gregaaron Says:

I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that a "notorious child molestor" - who apparantly (according to you) is known as one by a local doctor - would have a job in any camp. If people knew about it, then the parents in the camp would've had a cow.

You are the first commenter who actually MADE SOME SENSE!!! Come on, I can't believe all you ppl believe that hs is a well-known child molester in town, and yet we have no problem hiring him to work with children! People are of such limited thinking capacity when it comes to these things. And anyway, al pi halacha, al pi American law, and al pi EVERYTHING, we have no right to believe ANY of this until he is proven guilty. And, as they say, "I'll believe it when I see it". No way is this true. He is an erlich, regular Torah Yid who DOES NOT have a sickness, and it is assur to believe all this loshon hora.

126

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:42 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #36  
help jewishname Says:

lmaseh someone could accuse anybody for anything just to make money

I cant think of anyone who would do this to themselves for money of revenge. Your an ignorant bleep.

127

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:07 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #78  
gregaaron Says:

I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that a "notorious child molestor" - who apparantly (according to you) is known as one by a local doctor - would have a job in any camp. If people knew about it, then the parents in the camp would've had a cow.

He molested previously in Brooklyn. The victims confided in their doctor who in turn reported it to the police. The victims refused to testify so the case was dropped. The perv later moved on to Lakewood where nobody knew about his past. Apparently he continued to ply his trade.

128

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:04 PM Nur Eminah Says:

Reply to #32  
Concerned Says:


In the early stages of this phenonmena to impact on the frum community, perhaps the rebbes and rabonim were the appropriate parties to be involved. Clearly, now the problem has become so vast, complicated, and numerous that clergy is not at all equipped to handle this problem, mcuh less, to stem the tide of this growing problem. Dozens of victims are being born each month and nobody is taking this problem seriously. Only law enforcement, in conjunction with, NOT in lieu of, clergy can attempt to reverse this growing problem.

Community Activist

I disagree! If there is a will there is a way! Just like they take care of everything else. You know good and well that they can take care of almost everything. If such people don't get privileges that all members in a kehilla or lose their job instantly, it would help and I'm sure that those shrewd businessmen can come up with better ideas than me, trust me! The gehinom is big enough for everyone deserving it, and they will burn just like any other sinner if they don't do teshuva (i.e. helping victims corner molesters, and punishing these sichkies as much as they can to their extent.)!

129

 Jul 20, 2009 at 07:57 PM once abused Says:

Good move going to the police. When I was a 13 year old boy a bochur from a older grade did something like this to me. I told my parents who told the rosh hayishiva and the boy was thrown out of the yishiva. But that is it, he moved on went to a different yishiva who knows what he did there?? While I had to live with the feeling of someone using me because i was a good Yiddish boy and was naive . Baruch Hashem I am now married and I have the best wife in the world, but I still sometimes think that if I ever see this menuvel I will brake his legs. So I just want to say to anyone out there that had a story like this to come out and don't let them get away with this.

130

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:08 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

Here is the majic proven solution to you dilemma (thank me):

Send a certified anonymous letter to the school and to each board member and senior staff stating that they would be individualy held FINANCIALY responsible if g-d forbid anything happens in the future. It is amazing how these stuffed shirts respond to a hint of financial losses yet are DOA when concerning the safety of your child. Works every time or your money back, GUARANTEED!!!

Disclaimer: works ONLY with us yidden, nebech.

131

 Jul 20, 2009 at 08:57 PM Anonymous Says:

I know him, he is a good person, Yorei shomayim, and very hard to believe this story. He has the right to a future, and untill we know this as a true fact we cannot believe this! do we have Eidim? maybe there was a fight between this boy and him, and the boy thought to take real revenge who knows? this person, is a briliant teacher, very responsible, very big into Haskofo, and this cannot be true. let's be mechazek in Hilchos loshon Hora, and may this be a Zechus for Klal Yisroel and may Hashem bring Moshiachin these days of Churban Habayis.

132

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:54 PM A Says:

Reply to #110  
Anonymous Says:

I know a rebbe in his 30's who is off from teaching in the summer and has worked as a daycamp counselor. What's wrong with that? (he is married, if that makes a difference)

I didn't know he was a teacher. That, of course, allows him time to work summers in a day camp or sleep-away camp. Still, I look at the counselors my boys have had for all the years they went to day camp and remember the counselors I had for all my years of sleep-away camp and none of those counselors came close to 30 years old. I myself was a counselor when I was 17.
I'm not saying that it's 'wrong', I'm saying that it's unusual for a man so much older than the counselors to be doing the same job. Is the person you know a counselor or a Rebbe in that daycamp? The Rebbes do tend to be older.

133

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:53 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #117  
Anonymous Says:

1.Two case histories that i know first hand
2.A bochur in Lkwd.was having a hard time with a shidduch.Boruch hashem after several years he met his zivug and is happily married.I was his shomer the day before his chasunah and we had lengthy discussions,one of which was what took so long.What came out was how he was abused by three seperate bochurim in a very famous yeshiva.I spoke to his parents about this,they are in denial,an dthis is 10 years later.I begged him to go to the police,he said one of them was recently arrested,but he does not want his wife to know what he went through.I understand him and this is the problem.The humiliation that one has by going public is severe.
3.Case number 2-a very respected family in the community were gathered at a family get together when an 8 year old started talking about a certain relative who likes to.......Iit is nivul peh to even finish the statement.So do u go to the police on your brother/brother in law/husband?It is a catch 22 situationOur rabanim are very aware of this and there are no simple answers
4.A member of the community attempted to abuse my 11 year old,who boruch hashem ran away from him.I went to the police to discuss it.I was told what my son would go throgh in order to prosecute this guy,believe me it was not worth it,especially since he was not sucessful.I did inform neighbors and lambasted those who knew and did not publicize it.I also wanted to beat the guy up,but he is a real sick person who needs help.Venting my anger woulkd not help allthough if we adopted a zero tolerance attitude it would be a detterent
5.I remember 28 years ago when Mondorowitz ran away to Israel and I would see him at the kosel,it made me sick.But Maran Hagadol Harav Auerbach ztl said without bais din u can not do anything.We must have a bais din that would convene on a moments notice ,collect the evidence and not schlep out with three hazmanus and holchin acarey hanitva,but i do not know if they have such a koach.The torah guides us and many times sad and unfortunate things happen and we are helpless.
To all thos ewho say innocent until proven guilty,by who,by a jury of losers?The one that found O.J.innocent?The jury system is a joke and most people plea bargain

Innocent until proven guilty is a torah perspective. I don't believe any of the stories you posted.

134

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:45 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #131  
Anonymous Says:

I know him, he is a good person, Yorei shomayim, and very hard to believe this story. He has the right to a future, and untill we know this as a true fact we cannot believe this! do we have Eidim? maybe there was a fight between this boy and him, and the boy thought to take real revenge who knows? this person, is a briliant teacher, very responsible, very big into Haskofo, and this cannot be true. let's be mechazek in Hilchos loshon Hora, and may this be a Zechus for Klal Yisroel and may Hashem bring Moshiachin these days of Churban Habayis.

A fight does not lead to sexual abuse.One can have a brilliant mind, be very responsible, very big into haskofoh and yet- be a child molester. One has nothing to do with the other. It is very often the times when we are so sure that it can't be true when it is the case, that is the nature of this disease. Those who perpetrate such evil should be away from children/adolescents/adults (anyone who may be a victim) forever.
I have no idea whether this counselor is guilty or innocent. But I know that not enough is being done to prevent/stop it. Sexual abuse ruins people's lives. They don't know how to live anymore with all the pain and shame that they feel so they take drastic methods to help themselves cope. The only way to truly understand it is to look into the eyes of a victim of sexual abuse. I need not say more...

135

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:44 PM A Says:

Reply to #104  
Anonymous Says:

To all you "erlicher yidden" out there who are so concerned, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? You can stay away from him if you'd like, but some of these responses are real winners. It makes me realize why moshiach is not here yet. just remember that I can walk into any police station and say the exact same thing about you. Think of it as if it's your life, would you be so quick to accuse??
And to whoever posted his name - shame on you. If he turns out innocent you have blood on your hands.

Just letting you know that his name was mentioned in the original article (Asbury Park Press), which is where VIN copied it from. It takes no more than a few seconds to do a search for the article so blame the regular news media if you must, but they generally do print the names of people arrested for crimes. All VIN did was repeat that information here.

136

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:37 PM Please Get Real Help Says:

the topic of abuse is intense, especially for those of us who are survivors.
the reason I encourage people to get help, is because I believe help is possible.
I was a victim of abuse, and experienced the whole range of emotions:

First I experienced inexplicable rage.
I was angry at everybody, especially anyone who didn't want to talk about my pain.
then I felt guilty.
I believed that there were things I did to perpetuate the abuse.

Then I was angry again.
at the abuser, for making me feel guilty, and at myself for allowing it to happen.

Then I felt guilty again,
for telling people about the abuse.

I reacted with rage, promiscuity, and denial.
Then it settled into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Then I got real help.
It took many, many years.
I lost years that I should have been getting married and raising a family.
I knew I carried a burden, and I didn't have clarity.
No matter what I was told, I was still confused. Because a significant part of our frum communities are confused too. I had to tease apart the details, in order to achieve clarity. It would have been much easier for me to say that he was pure evil. I couldn't do that because I KNEW it wasn't true.

It took a long time for me to heal.

I know I was abused.
I know it wasn't my fault.
I also know my abuser was a victim of abuse himself.
I wish I would have had the opportunity to find out if he wants help.
If he knows he is sick.
If he has remorse.
If he understands what he stole from me.
I don't need him to suffer.
But a genuine heartfelt apology, with a keen understanding of what he did would certainly be helpful.
And that can only happen if he gets treatment.

It would also be nice if well meaning people didn't try to minimize OR maximize what happened to me. They weren't there. Sometimes it feels like they are imposing their own feelings on me. They are angrier than I am. And it isn't helpful.

I need to forgive, but my friends and family don't want me to forgive him.
they don't understand that by carrying my anger with me, I am not free to move on.
By building him into a monster, I am giving him more and more power to continue affecting me.
When I think of him as an intentionally evil person who "got away with it", my Yiddishkeit starts to suffer.
I become angry at Hashem for making life so complex.
I need to consider him inconsequential, irrelevant, in order to get back my own feeling of self empowerment.

It's up to me to move on.
I don't want the burden of the anger any more.
I can't rewrite the past, but I am trying to create a future.

The same Hashem who allowed me to be manipulated, and allowed me to get hurt... that same Hashem is the G-d who I ask to help me heal.

May Hashem FORGIVE Klal Yisrael for our sins, rebuild the Bais Hamikdosh, and return the sanhedrin to its rightful place.
so that we can bring korbanos, get proper closure and move on with our lives.

without confusion.

137

 Jul 20, 2009 at 09:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #4  
Anonymous Says:

#1 Why are you on even on the internet??? You probably just as sick as the accused molester.

You are on the internet too. LOL

138

 Jul 20, 2009 at 10:00 PM Anonymous Says:

Leave his family out of it the parents are great people

139

 Jul 20, 2009 at 10:01 PM A Says:

Reply to #120  
ex-Lakewooder Says:

In Lakewood many rebbeim who teach September-June are counselors in day camps during the summer. Its very common there.

My apologies, I didn't know that.

140

 Jul 20, 2009 at 10:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Did he substitute-teach
atyeshiva
torah vadaas a few years ago??

141

 Jul 20, 2009 at 10:23 PM Anonymous Says:

I know him personally. He is a great person and comes from a very special family. It is not fair to him or to his family for all this.

142

 Jul 20, 2009 at 11:04 PM Loshon Hora Says:

If he is stil a bochur of that age & a real Yeshivshe type. Guilty or not he has been granted a death sentance with Kores & ariri attached.
Even after phsychiatric help who will touch him.[Let alone marry him]
The fact his name is out there, & another one in the family's name is out there, the whole family has been punished,he hasn't been proven guilty yet. His family seems to have been punished like Bais Bilga already.
If he is unfortunatly guilty & spends time. His hashkofo life won't be so easy there, nor his yidishkeit, & his gashmius will be chas veshalom, and even if he does have this problem who said he will be cured.
[ I still maintain that all sin even this type is Yetzer Hora & lack of self control not sickness, ain adam chotei elah im nichnas boi ruach shtus, clapdomania is a desease to some extent, but non the less a yetzer hora. The justice system treats it as such, by prison not phsychiatric lock ups.]
If he was abused & his abuser got off, how unfair that there is a double standard out there.Could his abuser still stand trial?
His future is in shambles, why should he want to live any more? how sad.
I hope that if it is true, the victim[victims] will get help & be saved if it is at all possible to save them.
A really sad story.

HKB"H you are the rachmon, have rachmonus on all of us, even the sinners, return your shechina to Zion already please, that is the only way to stop this & cure all.

143

 Jul 20, 2009 at 11:20 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #136  
Please Get Real Help Says:

the topic of abuse is intense, especially for those of us who are survivors.
the reason I encourage people to get help, is because I believe help is possible.
I was a victim of abuse, and experienced the whole range of emotions:

First I experienced inexplicable rage.
I was angry at everybody, especially anyone who didn't want to talk about my pain.
then I felt guilty.
I believed that there were things I did to perpetuate the abuse.

Then I was angry again.
at the abuser, for making me feel guilty, and at myself for allowing it to happen.

Then I felt guilty again,
for telling people about the abuse.

I reacted with rage, promiscuity, and denial.
Then it settled into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Then I got real help.
It took many, many years.
I lost years that I should have been getting married and raising a family.
I knew I carried a burden, and I didn't have clarity.
No matter what I was told, I was still confused. Because a significant part of our frum communities are confused too. I had to tease apart the details, in order to achieve clarity. It would have been much easier for me to say that he was pure evil. I couldn't do that because I KNEW it wasn't true.

It took a long time for me to heal.

I know I was abused.
I know it wasn't my fault.
I also know my abuser was a victim of abuse himself.
I wish I would have had the opportunity to find out if he wants help.
If he knows he is sick.
If he has remorse.
If he understands what he stole from me.
I don't need him to suffer.
But a genuine heartfelt apology, with a keen understanding of what he did would certainly be helpful.
And that can only happen if he gets treatment.

It would also be nice if well meaning people didn't try to minimize OR maximize what happened to me. They weren't there. Sometimes it feels like they are imposing their own feelings on me. They are angrier than I am. And it isn't helpful.

I need to forgive, but my friends and family don't want me to forgive him.
they don't understand that by carrying my anger with me, I am not free to move on.
By building him into a monster, I am giving him more and more power to continue affecting me.
When I think of him as an intentionally evil person who "got away with it", my Yiddishkeit starts to suffer.
I become angry at Hashem for making life so complex.
I need to consider him inconsequential, irrelevant, in order to get back my own feeling of self empowerment.

It's up to me to move on.
I don't want the burden of the anger any more.
I can't rewrite the past, but I am trying to create a future.

The same Hashem who allowed me to be manipulated, and allowed me to get hurt... that same Hashem is the G-d who I ask to help me heal.

May Hashem FORGIVE Klal Yisrael for our sins, rebuild the Bais Hamikdosh, and return the sanhedrin to its rightful place.
so that we can bring korbanos, get proper closure and move on with our lives.

without confusion.

Very touching. May your prayers be answered.

144

 Jul 20, 2009 at 11:18 PM Shadchan Says:

Reply to # 82:
We must comend the Hanholah of Yeshivas Orchos Chaim Who fired him as soon as they found out that there was a parent of another school complaining about him. They felt whether it is true or false, no teacher can be in a school if he is even just alledged to be a molester. This of course was done with the Daas Torah of the school's Rabbonim.

145

 Jul 20, 2009 at 11:15 PM Anonymous Says:

Many who were abusers continue to abuse. And many others who were abused are so careful Never to hurt anybody as they know the pain! That being said, Hashem chose this specific family of abuser to be his family as only they can handle it and/or need to go thru this as well. Everything is with Cheshbon and never random or coincidential. All those who support the abuser, may they share his end. All those who have mercy on the wicked, are doing so on account of the righteous and "sofo lehitachzer letzadikim" the same time he is "merachem al reshaim"!
For those who r holier than the Torah and poskim, tell me ur mussar and I"ll tell u ur sins! The louder u scream, the guiltier u r! Tried and tested!
Hope the poor teen and his like have refuas hanefesh and refuas haguf. And Mashiach please come already!!!

146

 Jul 20, 2009 at 10:55 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #131  
Anonymous Says:

I know him, he is a good person, Yorei shomayim, and very hard to believe this story. He has the right to a future, and untill we know this as a true fact we cannot believe this! do we have Eidim? maybe there was a fight between this boy and him, and the boy thought to take real revenge who knows? this person, is a briliant teacher, very responsible, very big into Haskofo, and this cannot be true. let's be mechazek in Hilchos loshon Hora, and may this be a Zechus for Klal Yisroel and may Hashem bring Moshiachin these days of Churban Habayis.

Man, you are (so!) Clueless! The guy might be frum and into hashkufuh; he may also be a sexual deviant. These are not mutually exclusive phenomenons. What is telling is that: (a) a frum lakewood mishpuchah actually went to the police; and (2) this guy is not married at 33 years of age. To put "bilshoin nikeeya"-he has to be getting "it" somewhere. He is not a malach! Vihmayvin yuvun; vidaiy luh chakima bi...

147

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:16 AM PMO Says:

To be fair, we do not yet know the facts. However, (contrary to the gossip-mongers here on VIN), kids almost NEVER make this stuff up. Much like Dr. Lipner (who is well known as an expert in this area), I cannot find any cases of children LYING about being molested. There have been cases where there was not enough evidence and so people were found "not guilty", but that does not mean they were innocent an there is a clear distinction. I also know of a case where a child was violently raped (pajamas torn open from behind) and 2 other kids witnessed. They all went to the police, but the other 2 kids later recanted their story (they have since admitted that they were told to recant or they would be thrown out of their yeshiva),

If this really is true... if he really did do these things.... he should be locked away for life. Rapists are never cured. These are people who feed on the most vulnerable children in our community and literally crush their neshomos. People like this are consumed by their desire for control and power. Don't think that just moving them away from children will help. The rapist/molester will ALWAYS give in to his taivos in the end. It is better that he is kept in a cage behind barbed-wire fences.

148

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:08 AM esther Says:

First of all, perps do not look and act like monsters-they are your very average"wonderful"guy from such a "special" family.So many of you are sooo ignorant,I wish u would just shut up!!I am a nurse and my heart and soul lies with the victims of these "sick animals"who really cannot be treated if you read the statistics.They get aroused by children!!Must I be that blunt??You think you know them?Think about the poor children and their poor families!Hashem knows what they go through and by taking up for them, YOU are guilty of putting a stumbling block in front of your fellow Jew!Kids do not make this up-there is so much guilt and shame,they usually tell no one.....get an education and pray that chos v'sholom you never know from this.Stop the ignorance.It's almost as bad as the crime bec YOU enable these perps to continue satisfying their sick behaviors.SO SHUT UP with your pathetic pleas for this chaya.

149

 Jul 20, 2009 at 11:33 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #146  
Anonymous Says:

Man, you are (so!) Clueless! The guy might be frum and into hashkufuh; he may also be a sexual deviant. These are not mutually exclusive phenomenons. What is telling is that: (a) a frum lakewood mishpuchah actually went to the police; and (2) this guy is not married at 33 years of age. To put "bilshoin nikeeya"-he has to be getting "it" somewhere. He is not a malach! Vihmayvin yuvun; vidaiy luh chakima bi...

so then according to you, every older single male is a molester?!?!? what? think before you talk!!!!!!!!!!

150

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:24 AM wanna be Says:

nebech on this pearson. He needs real help and prison won't help him

Let us all pray he should be choizer betshuva and free of jail and helped with professional help

151

 Jul 21, 2009 at 07:28 AM LAKEWOOD PARENT Says:

PARENTS: PLEASE BE VIGILANT
Tell your children that no one is allowed to take them to a secluded room under any circumstances.
No one can tell them a "secret" which they are not allowed to share with their parents.
No one is allowed to touch them in inappropriate places - even other small children.
PARENTS UNITE - do not ignore suspicious activity!
ADULTS WHO ARE IN CLOSE CONTACT WITH CHILDREN SHOULD REMAIN ABOVE SUSPICION - that might mean never touching them, never speaking to them privately in a closed room, etc.
Unfortunately, we live in a society which thinks it can sweep "problems" under the rug. Protecting violent criminals leads us down a very slippery slope. It creates more victims, who eventually may turn to drugs to numb their pain, or R"L become abusers themselves.

152

 Jul 21, 2009 at 07:25 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #141  
Anonymous Says:

I know him personally. He is a great person and comes from a very special family. It is not fair to him or to his family for all this.

If he's a child molestor sure it's fair. not only fair, but justice to get him away from children.

153

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:53 AM rabbi nuchem rosenberg Says:

this is the fruit of my hot line last week on lakewood i will keep up and so should klal yisroel also dr lipner and pinny

154

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:22 AM wakeup&facethetruth Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

what would you have done?Called your local Rabbi and had this guy sent out of town to a new start where he can do it again?to some other kid?wake up & face the truth

155

 Jul 21, 2009 at 01:54 AM Lakewooder says Says:

They say abusers become this way because they were abused themselves. Maybe VIN mentioned his name because of this reason. It's quite possible he is this way because of his uncle. Another good reason to stop molestors by jailing them, because their actions have far reaching tenacles.

156

 Jul 21, 2009 at 01:10 AM Help????? Says:

#150-oh your sentiments just show how little you know!!Not go to jail?THAT IS WHERE HE BELONGS, fool!!They do not do tehsuva because their illness doesn't seem to respond to "help or therapy".How naive are you?The poor child is already in "jail" and will suffer for a long time and you are worried about the molester going to jail???You fit the stereotype of the uneducated, uninformed,ignorant "frum" who side with a criminal because you don't know any better.NEBECH on you because these offenders thrive and continue because of people like you who prefer they not go to jail and continue to prey on the real "nebechdigge" children who lose their innocence and sometimes even their belief that Hashem will protect them from animals.They go through life and wonder why this happened to them-and wonder where H' was.....nebech their pure faith is tarnished and challenged BECAUSE OF THESE MONSTERS. Don't you ever tell us that they do not belong in jail.You belong there with him because you feel bad FOR the criminal and not the object of their criminal acts.SHAME ON YOU AND THOSE WHO THINK LIKE YOU. a REAL CHILUL hASHEM.

157

 Jul 21, 2009 at 07:35 AM Anonymous Says:

Child molestation is alive and growing in the frum community. Stop believing it does not exist. You are the same people who had you lived in Europe during the 30's what would you have said then? Get your heads out of the sand (or seforim) and confront this growing problem head on. These guys must be removed from society. You dont want to jail them. Fine. But they must be kept away from everybody. They are dangerous.

158

 Jul 21, 2009 at 08:01 AM SHOCKED Says:

Reply to #127  
Anonymous Says:

He molested previously in Brooklyn. The victims confided in their doctor who in turn reported it to the police. The victims refused to testify so the case was dropped. The perv later moved on to Lakewood where nobody knew about his past. Apparently he continued to ply his trade.

Once the Brooklyn school knew of his issues, why in the world did they not let the next school know of these issues? Either they should have handed him over to the authorities or kept a watchful eye on where he'd go next! The Brooklyn school should be held resposible as well.

159

 Jul 21, 2009 at 08:31 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #141  
Anonymous Says:

I know him personally. He is a great person and comes from a very special family. It is not fair to him or to his family for all this.

If you have a daughter do you want him to marry her. Being that you know him personally and he is from a very special family. Fight back and show the world and let your child marry this amazing catch.

160

 Jul 21, 2009 at 08:25 AM NB Says:

Reply to #141  
Anonymous Says:

I know him personally. He is a great person and comes from a very special family. It is not fair to him or to his family for all this.

You sound like...when they arrest these murderers..and the neighbors stand outside saying..He's a great guy..couldnt hurt a fly blah blah

161

 Jul 21, 2009 at 09:10 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #82  
Lakewood parent scared to death! Says:

My son goes to Yeshiva Orchos Chaim where this Kolko teaches. I am afraid that they will allow him back in the classroom the way that Torah Tmimah did with his uncle all those years, and the way that Satmar is doing now and Ner Yisroel has been doing with their molester.

Does anyone have any ideas of how this could be stopped? Especially since many posters hear don't want to believe it and say its lashon harah, and the rabbis leave no coverup uncovered.

Is there a lawyer in the house, perhaps Elliot Pasik or Michael Lesher who could
advise us as concerned parents how to proceed if he is allowed back? Do we have to take our kids out and put them in a "safe" school? And what if it happens there? Is there no way for us to legally demand safety? Can we sue them for putting a charged sex offender in our kids' classroom? Or is this what the Markey bill is all about?

You parents have the power! Get together and fight for your children's safety! Stop your big donations..

162

 Jul 21, 2009 at 09:26 AM Anonymous Says:

I was just at a trial a few weeks ago where a guy was accused of molesting 4 kids and it was proven from outside sources (not just the defendant's denial) that 2 lied completely and the 3rd kid was lying for about 75% of what he was saying. (The Policeman even admitted that one of the kids lied to him!) Let's protect our kids but let's make sure everyone's telling the truth before we get the political animals involved.

163

 Jul 21, 2009 at 10:30 AM 1826 Says:

Reply to #113  
Pinny Says:

I just got home and decided to catch up on the happenings of the day by reading VIN. I came across this bittersweet story, bitter for what happened and sweet (not really) that the victim had the courage to come forward so he can help himself and save who knows how many other future victims.

As I am reading the comments I couldn’t read any further than #34. How dare you ask such personal questions from Dr. Lipner or anyone else for that matter? My rapist who raped many others is married and is a father and has a lot of children, his qualification? He is a rapist. What does that have to do with one another? Can’t you read English? He gave his qualifications. He is a PHD and has years of experience with victims and perpetrators.

I had the privilege to meet and speak to Dr. Lipner on many occasions. I know Dr Lipner as a professional not as a married person, I know him as caring not as a single person, I know him as one of the most active fighter against this evil not as being a father, I know him as someone who speaks what he believes not as not being a father. Shame on you lowlife.

Thanks to Dr. Lipner and his friend. Only because of their endless activism we heard stories in the last couple of months of victims coming out against their abusers. You may or may not agree with him, you can even criticize him but his sincerity can not be questioned.

I would like to ask you a few questions and sign your name please.

Are you a rapist? Are you a child molester? Do you have child porn stashed on your computer? Lowlife! What is your qualification exactly?

Pinny

Thumbs up! Couldn't have said it better. .

164

 Jul 21, 2009 at 10:45 AM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #149  
Anonymous Says:

so then according to you, every older single male is a molester?!?!? what? think before you talk!!!!!!!!!!

I (#146) never said that!! Read before you post! What I said was that every older single male is "taking care of himeslf" in some way. That fact, coupled with the fact that a frum lakewood mishpuchuh actually went to the cops is quite telling in my mind that there is likely strong grounds for the allegations.

165

 Jul 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

166

 Jul 21, 2009 at 11:15 AM Anonymous Says:

Social worker 165 writes: "it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives.... " I can overlook the over-the-top comments made by people who don't have your education, but not yours. "Hock"? That's what talking about child sex abuse is?

Here's a case with high bail, a protective order extending to all children under 18, he's 33 and single, likes to work with kids, and the uncle is the notorious Yudi Kolko. And you're talking about parents starting "rumors". Some people never learn, not even social workers, who should be out there protecting children.

167

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:08 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #166  
Anonymous Says:

Social worker 165 writes: "it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives.... " I can overlook the over-the-top comments made by people who don't have your education, but not yours. "Hock"? That's what talking about child sex abuse is?

Here's a case with high bail, a protective order extending to all children under 18, he's 33 and single, likes to work with kids, and the uncle is the notorious Yudi Kolko. And you're talking about parents starting "rumors". Some people never learn, not even social workers, who should be out there protecting children.

He is a social worker like i'm a pig farmer.

168

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:02 PM Anonymous Says:

IF this child is not telling the truth, and the next one is, do u think he wants to open his mouth and tell what happened to him....i think we should beleive our children and be suspicious of the adults...i told my kids not to talk to strangers in the street, they dont know where that house or family is, or what time it is. a child cannot help an adult, let the adult ask another adult.

169

 Jul 21, 2009 at 11:59 AM Loshon Hora Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

What you say has substance, but unless you know the specific facts here,You are no better than all us posters here.

170

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:25 PM Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

171

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:37 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #170  
Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

and just because you never say anything looking suspicious from this person means he has never hit on kids?

172

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:35 PM A Hocker Says:

166- I Hope Your Not a Lawyer because you don't read the fine print (Please note these are only allegations, an individual is innocent until proven otherwise in a court of law) and if you want to give out confidential info on someone, start by signing your name instead of anonymous, and you proved "Social Worker" correct with your answer.
168- we are talking about a mentally handicapped individual,

173

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:59 PM A Pushita Yid Says:

Reply to #101  
Anonymous Says:

I find it intresting that when it came to the case of the child whose life was possibly being threatened by a mother who was allegedly starving him to death, the oylam here feels that the mother should never have been arrested.

WHen it comes to this case, the oylam is happy that the guy was arrested.

When it comes to the mother, there is video and circumstantial evidence.
Yet the oylam is upset with her being arrested.

Personally, I think they both deserved to be arrested.

But, for he rest of you, what's the chiluk?

Because the woman was arrested by the treife medinah and the man here was arrested by US authorities?

Or is it that starving a child deserves less protection from a (possibly insane) Yiddishe Mama?

I won't even take the time to answer a single one of your questions, but I will say this much: BOY ARE YOU TWISTED!

174

 Jul 21, 2009 at 12:51 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #170  
Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

The reason your children were protected is precisely because you happen to be very sensitive to this subject and always brought awareness to your children. However the poor child that was molested, his parents have just been educated as to how to educate their children in the future. Molesters are careful with which children they start up. Too often they get away with it. This guy was caught. People should be careful about protecting molesters without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing yourself in as proof is so wrong and purely naive.

175

 Jul 21, 2009 at 01:48 PM Yudi's talmid Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

"Sick in the head," is that the clinical term? I have been scouring through my DSM and can't find it anywhere! Perhaps my being middle-aged has affected my vision and my ability for cogent non-tangential thought.

When someone who claims to be a clinician summarily dismisses the claims of a possible victim, I am forced to pause and question, "who are you really?"

176

 Jul 21, 2009 at 02:03 PM reader Says:

if annorexia is illegal would jail help? medical intervention would. keeping him away from kids till proven innocent would. i hope its not true.

177

 Jul 21, 2009 at 02:20 PM Noch a social worker Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

The yeshivas who turn a blind eye and do not report when a child comes in bruised and their is suspicion of abuse at home, are acting unethically and illegally. Teachers are mandated reporters, in many states and will eventually be in all. In the meantime Jews are mandated by the Torah in Lo Saamod Al Dam Reyechu.

That you could see this as a tzidkus, allowing children to suffer horrors at home, calls into question your clinical training.

Everyone's a social worker all of a sudden.

178

 Jul 21, 2009 at 02:18 PM Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

179

 Jul 21, 2009 at 02:14 PM Lakewood Parent Says:

Reply to #144  
Shadchan Says:

Reply to # 82:
We must comend the Hanholah of Yeshivas Orchos Chaim Who fired him as soon as they found out that there was a parent of another school complaining about him. They felt whether it is true or false, no teacher can be in a school if he is even just alledged to be a molester. This of course was done with the Daas Torah of the school's Rabbonim.

I fear that not everyone will get your sarcasm or wishful thinking.

As one commenter pointed out, I am not a "real" Lakewood parent but someone who knows about sex abuse issues in our community as I have been involved in helping Survivors For Justice, the JBAC, and others who try to protect our children.

I was not lying however, because "Shaliach Shel Adam K'moso" and I do represent a Lakewood parent who is afraid to post but expressed the same exact feelings to me. The truth is that not only did Yeshivas Orchos Chaim NOT do what you said and keep him away from children when they knew Kolko was a sick puppy for a long time, but even now, when asked what they will do to change school policies, to protect children, they are REFUSING to talk to parents.

If you don't believe me, call them yourselves. "We cannot discuss it". Lakewood yeshivas have no problem discussing if you have internet in your house or not, and whether or not you can have the zchus of having your child attend their school at great financial cost. They have no problem discussing your tuition that you owe them. They have no problem discussing how tznius they expect the mothers of their students to dress and what punishment will be inflicted by the community if your child goes to a baseball game rachmana litzlan, rachmana l'shziv. These are the important issues for the schools in Lakewood Ir Hakodesh.

But to discuss how a molester is allowed to teach there? How they do nothing to prevent yiddisha kinderlach from a sexual predator? They "can't" discuss it. Truly amazing.

And for those who do not believe that the story could be true, all you need to do is to know that the molester's uncle was well known to the yeshiva he molested in for decades, and pleaded guilty and the yeshivah will soon be out of a few million dollars that will come from mamon hekdesh when the lawsuits are all finished, especially when the Markey Bill passes. This happens in our community all the time. A commenter above had it right. If the parents would care more about their childrens safety than about what the rabbanim are saying, they would threaten the school's with lawsuits. Instantly there would be changes. But no one parent could do this alone because their kids would all be thrown out of all yeshivas, and probably their house would be burned down to scare them out of town also. It will only happen when Yidden, who are rachmanim, bnei rachmanim, will band together for the innocent children and demand that the yeshivas take action.

This is hardly the first time in history when Jews have sold out their own children. "Yedie Nashim Rachmaniyos Bishlu Es Yaldeheyn" we are told in Megilas Eicha. since mashiach has not come yet, apparently not much has changed over the centuries. The suffering of galus, now just as then, has caused us to "eat our own children" figuratively at least if not literally as it means in Eicha.

It is just like when the prinicpal of a Russian school in brooklyn was arrested, and so many naive, well meaning but dangerous people on this site said it could not be true. Dov Hikind said he got many phone calls from hatazla members saying it is not true "because I know him and he would not do that".

Innocent until proven guilty is only true when its someone else's kid. When it is your chas v'shalom, and the community will blame your kid for making it up, we will see how you feel.

180

 Jul 21, 2009 at 02:42 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #178  
Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

The reason your children were protected is precisely because you happen to be very sensitive to this subject and always brought awareness to your children. However the poor child that was molested, his parents have just been educated as to how to educate their children in the future. Molesters are careful with which children they start up. Too often they get away with it. This guy was caught. People should be careful about protecting molesters without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing yourself in as proof is so wrong and purely naive.

181

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:20 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

It is obvious you are not a social worker. If you want to post something, don't make believe you are something that you are not

182

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:19 PM Please Get Real Help Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

I posted above that I am a survivor of abuse.
I would like to clarify that I am also a survivor of emotional abuse from home.
I was vulnerable before I started.
It is a vicious cycle.
I am also now an adult who is alone.
Anyone who wants to target me as a threat, would find it easy to compare notes.
That is why we have laws, courts and lawyers.
Because although two people may appear similar on the outside, one may be a predator, and one may be a friendly person who is not hurting anybody.

The difference boils down to personal actions and a sense of liability.
I am a caring person, and I often babysit for my friends' kids.
I may be alone, but that doesn't mean a kid is there to entertain me.
I personally know what was done to me and how it affected me.

Because of this knowledge alone, I would never do it to anyone else.
"Mah D'alecha Sani, L'chaverech al Ta'abid"
it does boil down to Yiras Shamayim.

I can say, however, that I imagine that someone who does NOT get help, and doesn't know that what happened to them was abusive, is still at risk.
In addition, family members who don't overtly deal with the problem can develope paranoia every time they see an adult hug a child.
A child who is comfortable around an adult, and remains comfortable and appropriate around his/her peers, is probably not being victimized.
A child who becomes inhibited or excessively aggressive needs a supportive environment in which to express what is bothering them.
A critical, judgemental home is not an environment where this child will feel safe telling over what is happening to them.

You don't have to frighten your children.
But if they come to talk to you about things... even things that you consider inappropriate... listen to them for heaven's sake.
If the topic is sensitive, move to a private place... and open your ears and your heart.
Sometimes it's childish curiosity, which is a normal part of growing up.
Sometimes it's a cry for help, R"L.

183

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #104  
Anonymous Says:

To all you "erlicher yidden" out there who are so concerned, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? You can stay away from him if you'd like, but some of these responses are real winners. It makes me realize why moshiach is not here yet. just remember that I can walk into any police station and say the exact same thing about you. Think of it as if it's your life, would you be so quick to accuse??
And to whoever posted his name - shame on you. If he turns out innocent you have blood on your hands.

I wonder what you would be saying if it was your kid!!!!!

184

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:33 PM Lo Ra'inu Ayno Raya Says:

Reply to #170  
Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

Because I am a woman who lived with OJ Simpson and he did not kill me does not mean he did not kill his wife.

Because I am an intern who President Clinton did not have sex with, does not mean that Monica Lewinsky is lying.

This claim that because I have no suspicions it is not true is foolish. It is also very dangerous way of thinking. Almost as brilliant as the guy who said above "where are the 2 eidim (wintesses)? As if a molester will be mechabed 2 kosher witnesses like by a wedding when he molests.

It is tragic when someone you know well and love is accuesd of such horrible things. But not being the Ribono Shel Oylam and not knowing the truth, we would be wise to stop wasting our time defending him and start asking our kids more questions. Chas V'shalom there are many children who are molested and never tell anyone. These are the ones psychologists say are most traumatized. If they know that their parents won't believe them (like if there parents are people like whoever wrote this comment) then they will not bother telling. So just know, dear writer.that if you don't wake up and get your head out of the sand your children are at much higher risk. And molesters can sense these things....which kid has parents who live in lala land and would never believe a finer yid would hurt their kids. Which kid comes from a very frum family in which these things are never discussed so if I molest the kids will not even know what i am doing and they will never tell, which kids have parents who would come to my defense if I molested???? Those are the kids they go after. Watch out.

185

 Jul 21, 2009 at 03:28 PM community alerts Says:

Reply to #180  
Anonymous Says:

The reason your children were protected is precisely because you happen to be very sensitive to this subject and always brought awareness to your children. However the poor child that was molested, his parents have just been educated as to how to educate their children in the future. Molesters are careful with which children they start up. Too often they get away with it. This guy was caught. People should be careful about protecting molesters without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing yourself in as proof is so wrong and purely naive.

all i am saying is that untill there is a 100% conviction & found guilty do not put a final judgment on this person & just gossip about him, & if we want to talk let everyone put out information how to protect our children , family members from all kinds of abuse & everyone should give their opinions how we can save others from all abuse. BUT NOT GIVING HIM THEM GUILTY VERDICT BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO SPEAK FOR HIMSELF

186

 Jul 21, 2009 at 04:44 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #185  
community alerts Says:

all i am saying is that untill there is a 100% conviction & found guilty do not put a final judgment on this person & just gossip about him, & if we want to talk let everyone put out information how to protect our children , family members from all kinds of abuse & everyone should give their opinions how we can save others from all abuse. BUT NOT GIVING HIM THEM GUILTY VERDICT BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO SPEAK FOR HIMSELF

i agree let him respond and then judge

187

 Jul 21, 2009 at 04:27 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #170  
Anonymous Says:

I know him 20 yrs where he has been with my children & spent many shabbosim with us & there has never been an iota of cause , to suspect any wrong doing , we happen to be very sensitive to this subject & always brought awareness to our children & others in our community on this matter. None of us have ever seen any wrong doing .
People should be very careful about talking L'H without knowing THE FACTS. Bringing in a relative as proof is so wrong & pure gossip !!

It is the abuser who has the confidence of the victim and knowing him well makes your kids the easiest target because he has your trust.

188

 Jul 21, 2009 at 04:24 PM NB Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

I pray to Gd that you're not really a social worker

189

 Jul 21, 2009 at 04:51 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #2  
Anonymous Says:

Is it something in the name?

what a stupid thing to say just because he is a nephew to Rabbi Kolko you can say that and bad mouth the whole kolko family

190

 Jul 21, 2009 at 05:41 PM Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

I do not understand those who say you have to be 100% sure before you warn people to keep their kids away. If my friend was only somewhat suspicious that my neighbor had a gun and was planning to kill me I would hope they would tell me, and do the right thing halachclally.. In this case there is so much "Raglayim Ladavar" and a "kalla dlo pasik" that it is clearly a mitzvah to be mefarsem to protect the children. We do not have to believe that he for sure did these things, we do not have to judge him, but we certainly have to be Kabdehu V'chashdeyhu, and like the judge ordered, he cannot be near kids. You don't need to be 100% sure that something is poison not to drink it.

191

 Jul 21, 2009 at 07:09 PM think again #1 Says:

Reply to #1  
chuchem Lazer Says:

What a chilul hashem to do a mesura. Shame on u all for doing this to a yiddishe bucher. A new thing evry one is busy with sex assult.

what kind of sick ignoramus are you and what kind of world do you live in! shame on you for this comment, may you never have t wake up and smell the coffee about what and who these sickos are!

192

 Jul 21, 2009 at 06:48 PM Yudi's talmid Says:

Reply to #189  
Anonymous Says:

what a stupid thing to say just because he is a nephew to Rabbi Kolko you can say that and bad mouth the whole kolko family

Actually, not the entire Kolko family- just the abusers among them (that we know of so far). I know others in the family that presented to be just fine- there is no reason to malign them for the sins of their "offending mishpacha-members."

194

 Jul 22, 2009 at 06:50 AM lav davka Says:

Reply to #45  
Anonymous Says:

I am trying to understand your point. Does being married make one an expert on abuse? Does having kids make one an expert on molestation? Seems to me that having a Ph.D. in the field and experience working with abusers and victims would make someone qualified to comment on the issue.

Does everyone with a drivers license know how to drive?

195

 Jul 22, 2009 at 08:23 AM Anonymous Says:

And because the kid and kids are wild they make such accusations, right? Your one sick puppy. Molesters bank on malicious dimwits like you that they wont be prosecuted for molesting a child from a not-perfect home. It is scum like you who enable such travesties to go on.

196

 Jul 22, 2009 at 09:02 AM manis Says:

the school that he was a teacher in has known about it for months and did nothing

197

 Jul 22, 2009 at 10:25 AM A Frum MD Says:

Reply to #12  
Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

This is obviously a tragic story that is happening way too much in our communities.

However, it is good to see that even in Lakewood where the "bays din" exists to "deal with" these problems, and rabbanim have still not publicly told parents to go to the police, parents are finally realizing that in order to stop child molesters, you must involve law enforcement.

Our sympathy and support must go out to the victim and his family, and any other victims, as pedophiles usually do not only abuse one child. If there is "community backlash" against the brave and moral actions of this boy, I would remind him of Rav Elyashiv's psak and how he has been mekayem "tikkon ha'olam" and has saved the lives of many other children.

As to those who will, of course, claim that the molester is innocent, "because I know him and he would never do anything like that" it is high time to realize that in our community especially 13 year old boys almost never make these things up to the point of going to the police, due to the incredible stigma of being a victim and due to the danger of being caught lying. Those of us who work with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse should be trusted by now to tell you the sad truth. We need to start listening to our children or else they will not tell us even when they are hurt.

Asher Lipner, Ph.D.
Vice President of the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children

Thank you for your hard work, I truly wish that there was no need for your service, but sadly there is. As long as parents & victims continue to sweep these "crimes under the rug" these predators will continue their abuse of innocent children. As you related it is highly unlikly that the victim is fabricating a story. Parents, Rabbonim, health professionals should all be on the look out for symptoms of sexual molestation of our children. Sometimes a health professional sees signs during an examination sometimes it is a parent who notices unusal behaviour on the part of the child. But what ever we do we must make a concerted effort to put a stop to this abhorent behaviour in our community. And involving the authorities is the first step.

198

 Jul 22, 2009 at 08:49 PM Anonymous Says:

how DARE you!!! the family are the nicest people, who gave you the right to talk like that? I will say more, but I won't give you any embarrassment here. I'll let Hashem punish you in full for writing such terrible things, especially since the name is known and it's not true. Shame on you

199

 Jul 22, 2009 at 08:43 PM anonymous Says:

in response to #83
Please, help us parents, we are crying out for help on how to protect our children. You speak of safety, please explain. We hear about this concept but no one wants to go into detail, it is a taboo topic that no one wants to discuss. It is high time for parents of all children to start going to seminars to learn how to speak to our children, what to say and how to say it. Of course one way is to daven, but give us something concrete that we can do.

200

 Jul 22, 2009 at 09:17 PM Anonymous Says:

My apologies for post 198. I read it too fast and thought you were talking about the accused family. As we both know, they are the nicest people so was quick to defend them. I apologize.

201

 Jul 26, 2009 at 12:14 AM Save our Kids!! Says:

Reply to #12  
Asher Lipner, Ph.D. Says:

This is obviously a tragic story that is happening way too much in our communities.

However, it is good to see that even in Lakewood where the "bays din" exists to "deal with" these problems, and rabbanim have still not publicly told parents to go to the police, parents are finally realizing that in order to stop child molesters, you must involve law enforcement.

Our sympathy and support must go out to the victim and his family, and any other victims, as pedophiles usually do not only abuse one child. If there is "community backlash" against the brave and moral actions of this boy, I would remind him of Rav Elyashiv's psak and how he has been mekayem "tikkon ha'olam" and has saved the lives of many other children.

As to those who will, of course, claim that the molester is innocent, "because I know him and he would never do anything like that" it is high time to realize that in our community especially 13 year old boys almost never make these things up to the point of going to the police, due to the incredible stigma of being a victim and due to the danger of being caught lying. Those of us who work with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse should be trusted by now to tell you the sad truth. We need to start listening to our children or else they will not tell us even when they are hurt.

Asher Lipner, Ph.D.
Vice President of the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children

Dr. Lipner,
As an orthodox Jew, I am proud that there exist people such as your self who are not afraid to say what must be said. If only there were more people who were as courageous as you are. Yet the question begs to be answered as to how it is that you haven't spoken out about what is going on in Lakewood? You know very well about Eli G. and what he has done and continues too, by having the nerve to send them Hazmonois to Bais Din. Is it not enough what the parents of these children are going through due to the actions of this depraved monster with no soul? Now they have to continue to fight for “their “ innocence?!! Where is the justice when not only does he get away scot free but he is still a Hatzolah member!!!??? So yes, can you please address the issue of why Eli G. is around and about when he poses such a danger to our children?

202

 Jul 26, 2009 at 07:33 PM Rabbi K. Says:

I wish on each one of you that one day you get accused of something you didn't commit, but nobody gives you the opportunity to defend yourself. And when you do, they all decide you did it anyway. I pity all you mindless, unthinking, shallow individuals who are so delighted to jump on the bandwagon of molestation. How many of you - INCLUDING THE SACRED DR. LIPNER HERE - know one IOTA about this case?? HOW DARE YOU make judgments and proclaim a person's guilt. You are all worse than child molesters, and al pi halacha, mesira is the very worst sin that you can commit - you're actually better off molesting a child!! I pity all of you for the fiery hell that awaits you for joining this lynch mob instead of letting a man - quietly - try to at least present his side of the story.

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 Jul 26, 2009 at 08:25 PM theFixer Says:

Tragic story...quite possibly, another molestation.
Courageous family... goes to authorities rather then the Rabbonim.

There is a similar case in well known area of Monsey. The victim's family went to the authorities instead of going to the Rabbonim.
Credible allegations and the D.A. has enough for a conviction.
The family of the victim is being harassed and threatened to withdraw the charges. There are respected Yeshivishe Talmedei chachamim that serve as Rabbonim, and kolel leaders that are directly involved in scare tactics and threats against the family.

It gets worse. The molester admits he is a molester and has not retracted from his statements to the D.A. The D.A. in fact can put this animal in a cage, but only if the victim and family press charges.
So everyone knows and believes that the predator is sick, but the "kind-hearted" misguided "rachmonim b'nei rachmonim", argue that this predator will "get better" with a some counseling. You may wonder why they think he should not go to jail ? This is their reasoning :
1) "Can't you see that he has 'done teshuva' for his actions? "
2) "He already admitted his guilt and that he has 'this issue to deal with' , so surely with some counseling he'll be ok "

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 Jul 26, 2009 at 09:34 PM Anonymous Says:

Can someone please answer a simple question I have - since when does the terrible nature of a crime automatically mean that someone accused of committing it is assumed guilty by mere virtue of our disgust at that crime?
Surely someone accused of a serious crime has the same right to a Chezkas Kashrus and a presumption of innocence until proven guilty as does someone who is accused of a lesser crime.

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 Jul 27, 2009 at 03:24 AM Dr. Asher Lipner Says:

Dear Save Our Kids,

I do not have any first hand knowledge of this case. I have heard bits and pieces. If any parent wants help with this or with any other case, please contact me or my colleagues at the Jewish Board of Advocacy for Children, or Survivors for Justice.

Based on what I have heard but have not confirmed about this case, coupled with what I know from professional experience, I will say that it appears that the rabbis, especially Rabbi Salamon, Shli"ta are trying to solve the problem of molestation in Lakewood with a Beys Din, and are running into all kinds of problems. In my humble opinion, If they would take the approach of Rav Elyashiv, Shlit"a and Rav Shlomo Zalman Aeurbach, Z'TL, of calling the police immediately without hesitation when there is reasonable suspicion that children are in danger and allowing the experts to do the investigation then it would solve two of the problems:

No. 1. Cases like Eli G. in which he is calling them to a din toyrah for false accusations would not easily occur. If the alleged perpetrator is cleared then nobody would say anything bad about him, and if he is guilty there would be no room for a din torah..

No. 2. We would not have any cases like the one in this tragic story of the counselor who is also an English teacher in Lakewood, in which he was allowed to continue to teach in a yeshiva al pi "daas torah" as long as he was being "monitored". If Kolko's victims from Brooklyn would have been encouraged by our community to go to the police, then he never would have gotten to this boy in Lakewood, and who knows how many more.

I do not have any knowledge of the Monsey case described above, but unfortunately this is what happens too often in our community. Most rabbanim do not have adequate training in forensic psychology to understand that pedophiles can almost never be cured and that monitoring them is not enough. Professional law enforcement must play a role in community safety. What is a quite confusing to me as someone who learned many Elul Zmanim in yeshivah, is that often there is a statement that the molester did tshuvah without the perpetrator even doing the basics of begging mechila and paying damages to the victim without which even the most basic level of tshuvah cannot be said to have been done halachicly.

The Vaad Harrabanim of Baltimore in their 2006 public letter signed by every rov in town, said that law enforcement must be involved in preventing and intervening in cases of child sexual abuse. The Moetzes Gedolei Yisroel of Agudas Yisroel of America said regarding the Markey Bill that they are "not opposed" to extending the statute of limitations for frum victims to confront their molesters in both criminal and civil court. (If read carefully as the Gedolim suggested we do, then you can be "medayek" that the Gedolim ONLY oppose the "window" aspect of the law that would put yeshivas, "our lifeblood", at financial risk.

If "DAAS Torah" would follow "THE Torah" as in the psak of the gedolie haposkim, perhaps people who stand up for the children's safety will be more protected from being called to a Din Torah. Certainly all Jewish children would be a lot safer from those who seek to do them harm. I am not sure if anyone has paskened on this shayla, but "Laniyas Daati" the Torah concept of D'racheha Darchei Noam, that the ways of the Torah are peaceful, should require us to make our schools as safe as possible for our children.

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 Jul 27, 2009 at 10:08 AM nobody cares anyways Says:

i hope something gets done to save all us victims. i myself am a victim of sexual abuse and i am suffering until today and my story happened years ago. i dont understand why rabanim are not doing anything to stop abuse. its happening far way too often. :'(

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 Jul 27, 2009 at 04:44 PM achdus Says:

To comment # 202. Which Rabbi K are you? It is quite obvious from your comments that you were reported to the police. and if you were not reported you should be. You make a statement that and I quote "you're actually better off molesting a child!! " then seeking justice and going to the police .Either way you are a swine and a despicable creature. You also state that no one knows an Iota of the case. Perhaps you can enlighten us. How many innocent children do you claim fabricated the story? Who is The "Tatty" or the "Hatzolah man" in the playgroup?

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 Jul 28, 2009 at 01:03 PM It was Nissi Says:

Reply to #207  
achdus Says:

To comment # 202. Which Rabbi K are you? It is quite obvious from your comments that you were reported to the police. and if you were not reported you should be. You make a statement that and I quote "you're actually better off molesting a child!! " then seeking justice and going to the police .Either way you are a swine and a despicable creature. You also state that no one knows an Iota of the case. Perhaps you can enlighten us. How many innocent children do you claim fabricated the story? Who is The "Tatty" or the "Hatzolah man" in the playgroup?

It's people like Micky R. who are protecting these animals and endangering our children. They also sow seeds of doubt and spread roumors and lies to obfiscate the issues. Him and Yitzy R. should be run out of ttown!

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 Jul 29, 2009 at 01:18 PM Anonymous Says:

Reply to #165  
A social worker Says:

it seems like the majority of the comments were written by either middle age people or bored souls who just like to hock about other peoples lives. Many camps warn the staff before the summer about the severity of being accused of sexual abuse /harassment. There are "parents" who feel that if something is wrong with their child someone other than themselves are to blame. I'm not saying something happened at home with this child, but if something did its very convenient to blame someone who is taking care of or supervising the child. In todays world its very easy to ruin somebody for life with either a carefully placed or careless word. I work In a camp and I can tell you there are parents who are sick in the head whether they are in denial that if their kid is exposed to garbage it has do to something that happened in yeshiva/camp and not at home. Or they themselves are abusing their kid and covering their backs. I have met parents who believe everything their child says even when the kid has a reputation as a pathological liar. There are even parents who make up a worst case scenario as to why their kids are taciturn. If there are problems find out what happened and why there is a problem. Its very easy to turn the tables, as a member of a yeshiva I can't tell you the countless times kids come in with unexplainable bruises and scars, or kids with untreated mental/psychological illnesses. We see already what can happen if a parent is accused, even wrongfully, of abusing their child. The thing is members of an institution will think before calling the authorities on a member of the community, a "parent" on the other hand can make anonymous accusations without consequence. But no one should start rumors, since what goes around comes around, and in some cases "kol hapos'el b'mumoi posel" (accusing others with what you yourself are guilty of)

Well said. It is becoming the style for parents to yell abuse without knowing anything about it. Professionals need to make these detirminations not parents who's heads are full of gossip and are looking for someone to blame for their problems.

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 Jul 30, 2009 at 10:48 PM Anonymous Says:

It was not children who fabricated the story, it was parents who fed 3-yr-olds the perfect questions who created this out-of-control lie of a story. And to "Asher Lipner", pls quote me your halachic source for posting a name in case where no one else has posted the name? Do you think you are fulfilling a mitzvah? Protecting some children? And I would love to know where your s-micha is from. Everyone accused of a crime deserves the chance to proclaim his innocence. Do your research a little more thoroughly. You will find that when molestation accusations snowball like this, there is very often no smoke behind the fire. Please be very sure of what you write before you post it - don't lose your whole olam habba here by outsmarting yourself.

211

 Dec 15, 2009 at 01:14 AM Furious!!! Says:

Reply to #9  
brenda Says:

I am disgusted how this website can post his name and address,who said its true.And if it is true it still doesnt have 2 be publicized,he is a homosexual who is in dire need of help,poor family, how embarressing!!!!!

He should be embaressed! He should not be allowed to get married or have kids! He and the rest of the pedophiles should be put in jail FOR LIFE!!! Disgusting! What he did is a chilul Hashem, not the publicizing of his actions! That fact that your so quick to be embarrassed that its in the news makes me worried for your children! If chalila ur child comes home and tell u he/she has been sexually violated u BETTER NOT sweep it under the rug out of embarrassment or you will pay for it (as will your child)

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