Tel Aviv – Longest Serving ‘Agunah’ Finally Breaks Free After 48 Years

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    Susan Zinkin at her home in Kafar Sava, Israel, with photos of her family Tel Aviv, Israel – Susan Zinkin divorced her husband in 1962 but was forbidden from looking for new love for almost 50 years. Only when he died an old man this week was she released from being a “chained wife” under Jewish law.

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    Ms Zinkin, 73, a retired Orthodox Jewish teacher from north London, divorced Israel Errol Elias in Britain’s civil courts 48 years ago but she was never able to obtain a Jewish divorce (known as a “get”) from him. And yesterday she spoke of her relief at finally being freed from her status as the world’s longest-serving “chained wife”.

    “As awful as it may sound my ex-husband’s death is a great relief and a huge weight off my shoulders – to be stuck like that was so cruel,” she said yesterday in an interview with The Independent. “I’m quite convinced that had the rabbis wanted to get their act together they could have done something within Jewish law and found a solution.”

    She had made repeated attempts to get her former husband to grant her a Jewish divorce, which would have allowed her to remarry. She, and many others, even resorted to regular protests outside his house in Golders Green, north London, in a bid to publicly shame him into granting her a religiously sanctioned separation, but the protests only seemed to strengthen his resolve.

    But despite widespread public outcry, her “agunah” (literally “chained”) status remained in force until earlier this week when Mr Elias, 86, died.

    Speaking from her home in Kfar Saba, near Tel Aviv, Ms Zinkin called on Britain’s network of beth dins (Jewish courts) to do more to help chained women and to speak out against husbands who refuse to grant divorces. “The Jewish religious authorities come together to talk about and solve all sorts of religious and social problems but they never seem to get around to discussing [agunahs],” she said. “It is time they did.”

    Under halakha (Jewish law) only men have the power to grant a get. Women who cannot persuade their husbands to free them from marriage become known as “agunahs” or chained wives. Although they are legally divorced under British law, chained wives (particularly those within Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities) often find themselves ostracised if they dare to remarry or speak out.

    Ms Zinkin, who describes herself as “mainstream Orthodox”, said she felt unable to find a new husband because, without a get from her first partner, any new marriage would be considered unlawful by the wider community. Her children – and any of her future offspring – would also be shunned as mamzers, a halakhic term to describe the offspring of adulterous or incestuous relationships. “That’s a terrible stigma for the child,” she explained. “They’re illegitimate for Jewish purposes and I just couldn’t do that to any child of mine. Even Jews who aren’t very religious wouldn’t necessarily want to marry someone and have children born with mamzer status.”

    Attempts by rabbinical authorities to tackle recalcitrant husbands has been met with varying degrees of success. Rabbis from the Liberal and Reform schools of Judaism will often issue gets to women if a husband refuses three times, but the more orthodox branches are notoriously reluctant to intervene, believing that any sort of coercion would invalidate the get.

    In the United States, some Orthodox rabbis have encouraged the use of pre-nuptial agreements which financially penalise a stubborn husband. Jewish courts in Israel have even gone as far as placing intractable husbands in prison until they grant a get. But campaigners say the Orthodox beth din courts in Britain have been much slower to look for solutions.

    “It’s a very frustrating process,” says Sandra Blackman, a co-founder of the Agunot Campaign who regularly used to protest outside Mr Elias’s house alongside Ms Zinkin. “We need the Orthodox beth dins to be courageous and recognise the appalling injustices that are being carried out by some husbands. Other countries have found solutions but people seem afraid to implement them here.”

    One academic hoping to find a way out of the impasse is Professor Bernard Jackson, an expert in Jewish law who until last year was head of the Agunah Research Unit at the University of Manchester. Last summer he published proposals which offered courts viable alternatives that still conformed to Jewish law, including the promotion of pre-nuptials, provisional gets that would be issued in advance of marriage, and the retrospective annulment of a marriage by a rabbi. The response from the Orthodox community has been limited.

    “I can only say that meetings have been initiated, and there clearly is some willingness to look at our work and discuss it with us,” he said. “The problem is that batei din are generally reluctant to go out on a limb alone, for fear of appearing ‘divisive’. They are looking either for a consensus or for a lead from the greatest rabbinic scholars of the generation.”

    Hopes for such a lead were dashed in 2006 when an international conference to discuss agunahs was called off by Israel’s chief rabbi, Shlomo Amar, just five days before it was due to begin. It was widely reported in Israel that pressure from the Ultra-Orthodox community led to the cancellation.

    “I’m convinced there is a way,” said Ms Zinkin. “We need to get all the rabbis together to reach some sort of consensus on how to solve this problem within Jewish law.”

    Until rabbis take a stand, there is little that chained women can do, other than resort to public protests in a bid to shame their former husbands. “I just hit a brick wall and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do,” she recalled. “I knew I just had to carry on with my life and try to forget about it.”

    Few women dare to speak out about their agunah status for fear of reducing their chances of ever obtaining a get, or because they are worried about how the community might react to such public criticism. Ms Zinkin did speak out. By the end of the 1990s she was approached by a small group of Jewish women who, like her, had either been or still were chained women. The first the mainstream press in Britain heard about agunahs was when a devoted band of Jewish women bewildered north London motorists with regular protests outside Mr Elias’s home in Golders Green, calling on him to free his wife. Week after week they met outside his home but Mr Elias dug his heels in. The public coverage of the protests did, however, spur the rabbinical authorities into trying to persuade Mr Elias.

    “Prior to [those protests] the Jewish authorities hadn’t even been prepared to make a phonecall or approach him in any way,” she said. “Whenever I approached Jewish judges they just said they couldn’t do anything. So the protests might not have worked in my case, but they did with others.”

    The demonstrations also thrust the issue firmly into the wider public’s consciousness: “People just didn’t realise that this sort of thing can drag on for so many years. When I told people what had happened they were absolutely stunned that you can be an agunah in Britain for more than 40 years. I just hope I’m the last of a long line of agunahs.”

    For the meantime, Ms Zinkin is happy just to reflect on the fact that – for the first time in nearly five decades – she is officially free. “I suppose it is a bit of a record but it’s not exactly one I’m proud to hold,” she said. “I’m just glad it’s finally over. I feel a great sense of relief, but also sadness because it was all so unnecessary. I just hope that other men will think twice about the enormous distress they can cause by not granting their wife a get.”


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    78 Comments
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    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    THEre is so much suffering going on already beyond our control how dare one take that responsibility of adding more.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Imagine she was 23 at the time!!!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I’m thinking such harsh things about her ex-husband, best I not write it up here. May this lady be blessed that her remaining years be only happy, healthy, and wonderfully fulfilling. I do not envy her ex’s hell.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Did she sit Shiva for him?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    This woman is so dignified. What a waste of two lives & all those lost years because of the selfishness of that creep of a husband. Did she have any children with him?

    As for the Agunah problem, there has to be a way to solve this. Yes, it’s Halacha, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a tragedy.

    Oy Gevald
    Oy Gevald
    14 years ago

    I’m sure his Yahrtzeit will be marked by the biggest Kiddush her shul has ever seen. 🙂

    Brooklyn
    Brooklyn
    14 years ago

    In Brooklyn, you break his kneecaps, and ‘trow him into the East River to see how he floats!

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    There must be more to the story than what’s written in the article, people don’t just withold gets for the fun of it, slot of the so called agunes are not really agunas, the wife doesn’t want to accept the get unless she is given money and rights to the kids, etc., who’s fault is it then?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Where are the Martin Grossman fans now? This poor woman!

    73
    73
    14 years ago

    A lot of good it does her at this age of 73.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Perhaps had the world known, had it been publicized here, perhaps we would have turned the world upside down for this woman a lot sooner.

    Just last shabbos I learned of one of the choshuve baalebatim unknowingly invited a man who refused to gave his wife a GET for the shabbos seudah (thinking she was out of town). When he learned, he said he would pack up the food and have it delivered to his house but he couldn’t eat there. An example all can learn from.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    She nebach had to sit shiva for this dog, because it still was her husband, how sad.

    bmos
    bmos
    14 years ago

    #9 listen to yourself “she had the right to do so”????? Are you crazy? she can only leave if she had the right reason? or else what? she should stay when the marriage is a sham and it’s over? What ever the reason right or wrong it was over. At that point to go 48 years and refuse to give the get is plain rishus no if ands or buts. Plain rishus.

    bmos
    bmos
    14 years ago

    and #10 , you thing that she held out “for money or rights to the kids ” for 48 years? Please child. If she was holding oout for money, ya think she would know after 10 or 20 years it wasn’t going to happen? Rights to the kids, you thing they are under 18 after 48 years?? lol lol. Listen to yourself.

    halocoh
    halocoh
    14 years ago

    the halocoh sais if one dosint want to devorce and she has a good enof reson why she wants to get devorced you’re allowd to hit him till he seas “roitze ani”but still he has to devorce no one else even after 3 times

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    I hope she collects her Kesuba . BIG TIME

    Abba
    Abba
    14 years ago

    I would just skip the shiva nonsense for this bum and deal with the situation after death. Her husband already put her through 50 years of gehinnom, do you think hashem will be makpid on the shiva?

    Yankel
    Yankel
    14 years ago

    How sad! As a 25 year old girl she coulda had a wonderful life…

    Thing is the husband just keeps pushing it off day by day.

    I know of a person that didn’t want to give a get, it was just for a few months, and the Ruv (a tzadik) FORCED him to give it right away! The Ruv later explained to me that the longer you wait the harder it gets.

    Loshon Hora
    Loshon Hora
    14 years ago

    You posters obnly heard her side of the story, he can’t even defend himself anymore.
    I’ve sat at hundreds of Gittin, and I’ll let you know there are 3 sides to every story his her’s & the truth. You posters are a fourth side.
    Did she run off with all his money,get him to pay alimony to such an amount that he would never be able to remarry, & then make sure he never sees his kids?
    I am not saying this is what happened, but to call him a dog & a bum, & you don’t even know who he was, & what a nice suffering gentleman he may have been. If the Rabonim didn’t side with her, do you think there was no reason for it?
    Give me a break, how many divorce stories have you been involved in?
    Change this Aguna Ladies Campaign into So Called Orthodox Woman’s Lib Organization against Rabbis & halacha.
    These organizations and their ideals are the route & cause of the aguna problem, they make sure that women get all rights & men get none.
    The Torah had a reason why the man could give a get and not a lady, they want to fight that. The reason doesn’t need much explaining it is evident as the example mentioned above. Not to say that there are no authentic agunos, there are some.

    dovy
    dovy
    14 years ago

    according to halacha if he qualifies as a rasha she does not need to sit shivah for him. (not that I know that he does)

    Gregaaron
    Gregaaron
    14 years ago

    I agree with Milhouse on this one – the article doesn’t give any details, so we can’t fairly choose sides. It’s politically correct to jump on the bandwagon and blame the husband or rabbonim (ie, say that the Torah is unfair, ch”v), but without knowing the details, we can’t make a fair judgement.

    Also, she didn’t get married because she would be ostracized by the community, or because she didn’t want to “do that to her kids”? Hello, woman – have you heard of chiyuvei kareis?? That should be a pretty much big enough deterrent right there…

    Yonason Herschlag
    Yonason Herschlag
    14 years ago

    I know of a rabbi in London that specializes in getting gets out of men. Each case is handled individually. Once he had gotten numerous shadchanim to call the stubborn husband saying they had a great shidduch for him. With the imagined good prospects before him he gave the get willingly. Another time he hired a big niger with two big dogs to knock on the stubborn husband’s door, to explain to him that he would be better off not giving an excuse for him to return. In talmudic times, they would beat the guy until he gave the get.

    Concering the question that the get is only valid if it is given willingly, the answer is that only the man’s evil inclination wants to withhold the get, but the Jew’s essence, his yetzer tov, gives the get willingly.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Solutions to forestall agunah situations have been solved via the civil courts (with rabbinical input) and legislated in both New York State and Province of Ontario, Canada. Shame on the London Beth Din for their very lax approach to this human tragety. As an aside some Chassidishe sects arrange for the husband to be ostracised and sometimes beaten up, which is more in line with ‘ kofeen oso ‘

    KoferB'Ekor
    KoferB'Ekor
    14 years ago

    As the old saying goes: “If Rav Moshe’s daughter was an agunah, he would have found a way to permit her to marry again”. I am afraid that the only way the “halacha” will change is if one of the “Gedolim”s daughters finds herself an agunah. Otherwise, we will just have to wait for the Moshiach.

    retired Rav
    retired Rav
    14 years ago

    Many years ago, trying to help a chained woman, I spoke to Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky in Monsey [the woman was present] about her sad situation. He said [in Yiddish] and repeated it again word by word, “You may pray that he should die.” I reported this in a letter to the Jewish Press and got interesting reactions, including a long-distance call from a London Beis-din. I think this is still an excellent idea, for use with husbands who go to shul and “act” frum. I suggested then that a committee should meet to discuss any particular case, and issue a call [if they confirm the situation] to all the shuls where the metunaf lives.
    R. Yitzchak Goodman

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    If someone won’t give a get make his wife a widow

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    whilenot wanting to comment on this specific case, it is a basic principle of hilchos agunas that if a jew was required to give a get according to halacha, the bais din or their representatives (even goyim or non jewish law enforcement)can force him to give a get. the reason is because it is considered willingly as every jew wants to do the right thing. It is just the yetzer hora that gets in the way, but the bais din using force revealing the person’s true desire. While this may not always be practical to implement, it can work in some cases and should be used when warranted. i wonder if botei dinim use this option as much as they should. husbands and rabbonim who have the power to do something should take note,
    Yehoshua was punished for holding back yidden from doing pru urvu for just one day. imagine holding back pru urvu for years on end.

    David
    David
    14 years ago

    A complete outrage, and a chilul Hashem from start to finish. By the way, is there anyone out there who doesn’t believe that, if the shoe were on the other foot and men could be “agunim,” the rabbis wouldn’t have figured out a quick fix long, long ago?

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    What ! If it were my relative I would personally administer the 49 makkos. What is wrong with Yidden in Golders Green? I have no respect for that kehillah now. They are all posul Yidden.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    14 years ago

    Mr. Elias is burning in Gehennom -where he will be residing for a long, long time – to be joined temporarily by those rabbonim who refused to help free his wife.

    There is a Judge and a Judgment. I wonder why the rabbonim are so worried about chumras in kashruth and not about the onesh for the aveirah of perverting judgment and oppressing the helpless..

    tom
    tom
    14 years ago

    It starts by wanting to keep all the money, then it goes onto blaming the wife that she didn’t do proper things but it is all to make her suffer-period!!!!