Chicago, IL – For the second time this year, religion is taking center stage in another custody battle being waged in Chicago’s courts.
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Laura Derbigney of Chicago has found herself in the middle of a custody battle between her Catholic husband and his Jewish ex-wife over how their 7-year-old son is cared for during paternal visits.
A court order restricts Laura Derbigney and her husband, Nelson, from driving the boy in a car, allowing him to use electronics or to be fed pork and other foods as outlined in Orthodox Judaism.
“I truly feel it’s an intrustion on my home life,” she said from her attorney’s office Monday. “That I have to now obey certain aspects of being kosher and following Sabbath in order for my husband and I to see his son, is wrong.”
The boy’s biological mother also asked Derbigney that the boy’s food be purchased at a certain grocery store, claiming the boy was fed non-kosher hot dogs during visits with his dad.
“I have to purchase certain products. I prefer minority-owned stores. I’m Hispanic and Catholic. I make enchiladas. Flautas. Now I’m being ridiculed for making food I grew up with,” she explained. “I thought there was a differenct between church and state. Because she’s a Hasidic jew, I have to live live as Hasidic jew too?”
Her attorney, Joel Brodsky, says the court is out of line. Brodsky, who earlier this year won a similar religious case, said the First Amendment right to live according to your own religious beliefs is being thrown out the door with the temporary restriction.
“Just because you’re divorced, the court can’t say how to live your lives or what grocery store you can go to,” Brodsky said. “The next step is going to be a Muslim father with custody. During the next visitation, is the mother going to have to wear a burka? That’s where we’re heading. Divorce courts have to stop getting in the way of religion.”
A gag order prevents the boy’s biological mother and father from speaking to the media about the case.
Is the court ordering her to live as an orthodox Jew or ordering her to allow the child to live as an orthodox Jew?
How do you sayu “Chulent” in spanish?!
It’s a shame that his happened (a now-religious woman having a child with a non-Jew), but this appears to be illegal according to U.S. law.
I have to side with the step-mom on this. She is not Jewish and we have no right to insist that she act Jewish.
Puh-leeze. She is not being “forced” to live like an Orthodox Jew, nor is she being restricted from making enchiladas. All they are asking is to make accommodations for the boy for the what- once a week or so?- that he stays there. She can eat all the enchiladas she wants, but if she’s going to feed the kid, she needs to make him kosher enchiladas (forget for the moment how that would be possible in terms of her kitchen, bishul akum etc). If she truly cared about the child, she would have kept her mouth shut instead of whining to the media.
That being said, we can see the terrible tragedy that intermarriage causes r’l, even after the Jewish spouse sees the light…
She is a ‘Hasidic jew’ who was married to a sheigetz?
this shiksa could eat whatever she wants, she just can’t feed the jewish kid treif.
Boruch Hashem for the Syrian Gazera!
Is this the result of a mixed marriage? Jewish & non-Jewish? Then suffer the consequences! You wanna play? You pay! Unfortunately your children from this mixed up marriage will pay too. Stupid!
If she converted to Judaism after they got married then I wish her mazel & brocho.
What is Mrs Laura going to say when she decides to divorce her husband and not see his child. What does she have with this child.
seems like the court says, you can live your life how you want. BUT IF you want to have visitation rights with the child then you got to follow these rules.
seems reasonable enough.
I agree that this is a terribly tragic case. The decision is probably illegal, although I hope for the child’s sake that it is upheld, to preven tarfus from entering the body of a Jewish child.
Very sad. We all need chizuk.
this law is un constitutional
There is an obvious difference between requiring a mother to wear a burka and requiring that the kid be fed kosher and not be permitted to violate the laws of Shabbos. In the latter, nothing is being required of the mother; requirements are only being placed upon how the son is treated.
This woman sounds like an idiot. If the kid had a peanut allergy, would she be whining to the paper too about her preference for Jif? I doubt it.
what about jewish parents that go off the derech. bottom lie is be a mentsch if the kids eats kosher he should eat kosher and if the one parent not frum/goy whatever can’trespect that wish then they shouldn’t eat together. why are we wasting court time / tax dollars on simple common sense.
I’m sorry, as much as I want to see a Jewish child raised jewish, I just don’t think the courts should dictate to ANY person what religion to raise their child in. What kind of freedom is that?
Quite possibly the ruling largely depends upon the previous agreements/divorce decree etc. Ultimately, obviously, it is up to Hashem. B”H that this child is allowed to live as a Jew with both parents, at all places, and at all times. These are very difficult circumstances which I would not wish upon anyone. May Hashem bless this mother and child and all with revealed good. Rachmanus and achdus.
Its nice to see that in the united states they respect religion….and in israel they ship off a boy to his non jewish father in a custody battle with a jewish mother
The courts have no business telling them what they must provide. If the tables were turned and the father was fighting to take his kid to church while the Jewish mother was pleading to stop it, we would be screaming at the tops of our lungs.
Why doesn’t the mother send her child to the father’s home with double-wrapped, prepacked meals? That would resolve the issue. I know a BT who is in a similar situation. The father is not frum and has no interest in yiddishkeit. The kid (now 14) brings food with him when he visits his dad. It seems like a pretty reasonable solution to me.
My wife makes delicious kosher enchiladas and serves them in a casserole dish on Shabat.
31 has a good point. You know, when the good will is there, you can work out the logistics. The problem is when the goodwill is not there. …
Anybody notice the lawyer is a self-hating Jew? Nobody is making the woman live a Jewish life. All she needs to do is buy some kosher food for the kid and not make him be mechalel shabbos. Why is that so difficult, unless you want it to be.
to #2 CHAMINADOS
There is simply not enough information provided. If custody is joint, both parents have the right under Illinois law to make the decisions over the religion of the minor child. What was the status quo during the marriage? What does the divorce decree say?
Nobody is forcing this couple to live as observant Jews. What they *are* forcing them to do is to obey the religious and the cultural spirit the boy is being raised in at home while he’s staying by them.
And that’s wrong. You cannot legally impose a religious/cultural spirit in which the father and his new wife are going to spend time with this boy. As long as it’s not a health issue (e.g. peanut allergy), you *cannot* legally prescribe them what to feed the child and what not to do. As long as it’s not a safety issue, you *cannot* legally prescribe what activities are allowed on shabbos and what aren’t. The boy being mechalel shabbos is the category his mother’s religion and culture operates with, not a universal objective circumstance you can “measure” and prove its being detrimental to the child in any way, and not something you can impose onto his father and stepmother to take into account.
I agree that it would be very uncivilized from his father and stepmother to bdavka put the boy into problematic circumstances, but you cannot force a religious law upon them when the boy is there or ask of them to take care that he follows that law while there.
Actually kashrus is a health issue: materially and spiritually.
Basically the situation is that the mother has custody and the father has visitation rights. Because the mother is the custodial parent she gets to decide how to raise the child. If the father wants to retain visitation rights then he and his wife can’t interfere with how the custodial parent wants to raise the child by feeding him trief or making him break Shabbat.
it is not about any of the parents involved it ia about the boy he has freedom of religious rights just like you or any american citizen an regardless as to whos custudy he is under they have to respect his religious rights if he wants to live as an orthodox jew keeping shabbos kosher etc etc than tnat is what has to be accomodated no diiferent than your employer or airline that you fly on have to accomadate your religious rights not make you work on shabbos or serve you kosher food