Crown Heights, NY – Devorah Benjamin zips up her fatigues — a black hooded sweatshirt with “The Wedding Planner” embroidered in fluorescent pink across the back — and is ready for another day’s battle. Her army stands at the ready: musicians, photographers, florists, hair and makeup artists, and a team of middle-aged mothers who volunteer their nights to cook and donate food.
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Their mission: to make weddings happen, even for couples who cannot afford them.
“I’m a part of everyone’s lives,” Ms. Benjamin said recently. “If you walk around Crown Heights and say my name, people know exactly who I am. I’m a household name.”
In Hasidic households in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, she is.
The Dutch-born Ms. Benjamin is the founder of Keren Simchas Chosson V’Kallah, a nonprofit organization that pays for and plans the weddings. The foundation’s nearly $500,000 annual budget comes entirely from donations collected at annual fund-raisers and charity drives, and via mailed-in checks.
Ms. Benjamin explained that in most Hasidic households, parents are traditionally expected to pay for their children’s weddings, which average about $20,000.
“I tell the couples to pay for what they can, and I’ll do the rest,” said Ms. Benjamin.
More in NY Times (blog)
Thanks VIN for posting this great article! And that was a great video that New York Times did about this story! All those out there – great video for one and all to see!
On the one hand, she performs a great service in helping these couples plan and pay for $20,000 chassanahs. On the other hand, her efforts only serve to perpetuate an obscene waste of money among families who can barely afford to put a challah on the shabbos table and have to beg the yeshivos to provide discounted or free tuition. She could perform a much greater service by leading the effort to put an end to the insanity of poor yidden feeling obligated to pay for big chassanahs they cannot afford.
all i can say how ever can give GIVE what she dos is out of this world hashem should bless her and her husban and family with all the blessings.
She makes ordinary weddings, as expected and befitting the couple’s situation. The wedding in the video was in an extremely small hall, for example. The money she raises also goes toward dressing the couple appropriately–shaitel, kapoto, etc. She helps out people who don’t have much money and singles without (frum) famillies to marry them off. She’s also started some trends in Crown Heights weddings that are saving people money.
Any body from crown heights knows she is a true Tzadaikus. What she does is incredible no words can describe. May you continue and have much hatzlacha
She is the only person in CH (where Chesed is the norm) whom EVERYONE adores and supports. She is unique. Shmuel is an equal partner as well as being an incredible Pre-1 A Rebbi.
If you haven’t experienced Devorah’s passion & dedication, you haven’t seen anything. What she achieves is monumental, with no fanfare or fancy props. But her weddings are beautiful.
If you want to help her, there are 2 ways: GIVE GENEROUSLY!!!! And you can hire her as a wedding planner for your own Simcha…lavish or not, it will run like clockwork & you can enjoy your it knowing all the little details are under control.
#2…not your business. And you don’t know how many people give equally to sponsor weddings of poor couples. I know some Baal Simcha who do that. Yes, some weddings are lavish & over the top, but it’s not for us to judge how people spend their money. I like to think these ostentatious people give generously to Tzedaka as well.
My daughter (she’s KA”H a mother of a lively tribe herself & a full-time pre-school Morah) frequently bakes at a moment’s notice for L’chaims. Devorah has a team of devoted young women who create magnificent cakes & decorated cookies for L’chaims where the family can’t afford the $2000 + for an “event” & you would never know that these custom-made confections are all donated. She just posts on Face Book & a couple of other places & she has volunteers to bake, set up, drive a Kallah to the hall, pick up someone from the airport…anything she asks, we fall over ourselves to do. It’s a privilege. Devorah Gold Benjamin is a Tzadekes (and it comes from her home, her parents Mina & Pinchas, our dear friends, are the exact same way.)
What have YOU done for someone today?
Hachnosas kallah is one of the mitzvos mentioned in bircas hashachar in Eilu devarim shAdom ochel peiroseihem b’Olam Hazeh Vihakeren kayemes l’O;am Haboh! She is doing such a special mitzva. Every kallah deserves a beautiful wedding, not only those who can afford it. I don’t see how anyone can be the least bit critical about this wonderful woman and everyone else who helps her in this great mitzva. Yasher Koach.
Everyone forgot to thank all those that perform for FREE at those weddings. The singers musicians etc. I can only imagine what awaits them in the world to come. Great article VIN. Thanks!!!!!
Devorah Benjamin planned my son’s wedding which was the first simcha of its kind in Alabama. It was a beautiful, gracious affair which was attended by local Jews and non-Jews and everyone was inspired and impressed. Kol ha’kavod to this aishes chayil!
Devorah is the best!!! She is amazing. Hashem should bless her to be able to help as many people as necessary. I give all my maaser to her and then some.
I called Devorah about a chossen and kallah who were baalai tshuva with no money and no parental support. She confirmed the situation with the Rebbetzin in our community and immediately helped supply all the accoutrements: a hat and gartel for the chossen, shoes, a kapota, money to help him buy his kallah’s ring, etc. She is one amazing woman and the Aibishter should bless her and all the malachim who support her! Moshiach should come through her efforts, alone!
Dvorah Benjamin mamesh saves families and saves sholom bayis. She is an absolute ‘malach’, she helps in a most eidel and tzniusdik way. She does it with so much mentchlichkeit and compassion, and makes the baalei hasimcha feel comfortable.
There is no reason on earth to say anything negative. This is a totally win win mitzva.
Thank you D’vora for everything you do. May Hashem repay you immediately in your hearing the sounds of Kol Chasson and Kol Kallah in the cities of Yehuda and the streets of Yerushalayim, and YOU can be the wedding planner THEN too.
Devora B. planned our wedding! it was beautiful! and glamorous and full of simcha and kiddush H-shem…H-shem should bless her with continued success and she should merit all the simcha in her life that she gives others!!!