New York – Breaking the Fast After Yom Kippur Becomes an Event

New York – When Jill Medvedow, the director of the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, was growing up, she broke her fast after Yom Kippur at home, with just her family. After she married, she would go to her mother-in-law’s house for the annual meal known as the break-fast. But when her mother-in-law left Boston, Ms. Medvedow and her husband became break-fast orphans.

There was no shortage of invitations, but some of them seemed, well, unappetizing.

“A number of break-fasts had gotten catered,” Ms. Medvedow said. “They were really big. They were parties. We wanted something homemade, intimate, flexible and warm, at the end of a day that we take seriously.”

In one sense, it’s hard to mess up a break-fast. Yom Kippur, which begins tomorrow night and ends Saturday night, is the Jewish Day of Atonement, the culmination of 10 days of contemplation, self-renewal and rededication to the path of righteousness. After such extended religious labor, capped off by a day without food or drink, the parched and hungry Jew is happy with whatever nourishment comes.

But in recent years, the break-fast party has become part of the Jewish social calendar. From Los Angeles to Chicago to New York, many are attending large, crowded break-fasts, where the spirit of the High Holy Days can get lost in the mixing, and where the day’s solemnity quickly abates, smothered by large quantities of cream cheese and hummus.

Vanessa Ochs, who teaches religion at the University of Virginia, says the new, bigger break-fast raises theological questions. Even before the day of repentance is over, many people are forced to think about the meal they will be serving.

“In the last 25 years, the break-fast has, in some friendship groups, become such a moment for gratitude and coming together that people will stay home from services to cook and prepare,” Dr. Ochs said. “That isn’t what they’re supposed to be doing, but from a non-halakhic” – extra-legal – “perspective, if this meal marks who is in your friendship circle, and who is going to be there for you, then this is a holy communal feast.”

The break-fast may seem more important today because it unites observant Jews with the growing number who feel a cultural, but not religious, connection to their tradition. “With the increased popularity of the break-fast party,” Dr. Rubel writes, “the holiday becomes a bit more palatable to those Jews who enjoy the time with family and friends but may be less likely to spend the day in organized prayer.”

“But unlike at the Seder, at almost every break-fast there is an actual discussion of the religious ritual,” Ms. Newhouse said. “There are funny stories, too – someone passed out in shul, or somebody accidentally brushed their teeth.”

At the typical Seder, Ms. Newhouse laments, “half the time you get there and people want to talk about Obama.”

Shana tova, and bon appétit.