Rekhasim, Israel – Chareidi Man Takes His Own Life After Daughter Isn’t Accepted By School

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    PHOTO ILUSTRATION - Children attend orientation to first grade at Paula Ben Gurion elementary school in Jerusalem on August 30, 2015. Photo by Hadas Parush/Flash 90.Rekhasim, Israel – Hours after the apparent suicide of a Sefardi man in Israel, an area rabbi is pointing the finger of blame at the administrators of a local Chareidi school, saying that it was their refusal to accept the deceased’s daughter into their institution that drove him to take his own life.

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    According to Israeli news site Kikar HaShabat, the niftar, who lived in the Rechasim settlement in Northern Israel, had just been advised yesterday morning that his daughter was not accepted into first grade. Rechasim has over 1,800 families and received a low ranking on the socio-economic scale by the Israel Central Bureau of Statistics. Several individuals, including prominent community members and rabbis in the settlement, have accused the school of playing a part in the man’s death.

    “Those who support this city cannot say that they bear no responsibility for the blood that was spilled here,” Rabbi Yosef Gigi, a rosh kollel in Rechasim, said during this morning’s emotionally charged funeral, targeting his remarks squarely at the school’s administration.

    Grieving residents echoed the same sentiment, telling one member of the school’s administration that he played a role in yesterday’s tragedy by not doing his part to accommodate the family’s difficult financial situation.

    “This is a very sad story,” said Nati Chayak, a Shas representative of the Rechasim community council. “For two months they tried to make arrangements for the daughter. He tried to use all of his connections to get her into the school and unfortunately, he did not succeed.”

    The name of the deceased was not released but Chayak, who said he often worked with the father, described the story as “very painful.”

    “He would take care of transportation in the yeshiva that I worked in and he worked for me steadily,” said Chayak. “This time he didn’t share his situation with me, unfortunately.”

    According to Chayak, the father had been doing all that he could to get his daughter into school.

    “He came with me to the administration and said to me, ‘Do you see Nati? Do you see the price? Do you see the situation? Where can we go with this?’”

    A family member said that the father, a typically strong individual who preferred not to ask for favors from others, had been extremely distraught about the situation over Shabbos.

    “Suddenly he found himself in a situation and he had no way to find a solution,” said Chayak.

    Chayak said that it was clear that the school administrators did not appreciate the depths of the frustration felt by this father who was unable to pay his children’s tuition.

    “An animal who finds itself in a desperate situation and is unable to protect his young and feels helpless will run away,” observed Chayak. “This was an escape of another kind when he found himself unable to cope with his difficult situation.”

    As someone who has spoken with many families in difficult financial straits over the past two weeks, Chayak said that the desperation is unimaginable.

    “The pain is so great and the ache is enormous,” said Chayak. “How can you even face a father who cries to you on the phone about his daughter’s plight? There are no words to console a father in that state and we don’t have the ability to ease that kind of heartache. There is nothing you can say to comfort a father who knows that his daughter will not be able to go to school.”

    In its statement, the Rechasim council expressed both its sympathies and its innocence in the matter.

    “We are overwhelmed and grieving from this terrible tragedy and we share in the grief of this family, one of the oldest and most important in our settlement. After hearing of this disaster, Rabbi Yitzchak Reich, head of the council, has agreed to provide the family with all of the required assistance. As for the charges that the school’s refusal to admit the daughter, she has been enrolled in the Chinuch Atzmai Ohr Chadash school in the settlement and her placement for the upcoming school year is guaranteed. The council plays no part in the acceptance policies of private schools in Rechasim and the Ministry of Education will only intervene if a child has no school placement at all.”


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    75 Comments
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    ChareidiMan
    ChareidiMan
    8 years ago

    Hey as long as he had a filter on his iPhone, who cares about anything else SHAME SHAME SHAME on our leaders, their priorities are $$perfectly$$ placed

    ShmutzVesh
    ShmutzVesh
    8 years ago

    Oy vay !! I can totally understand this man
    It is so difficult to be on this situation I am crying. More needs to be done regarding scholarships .

    CF700
    CF700
    8 years ago

    And if the father doesn’t take his life? Is the shefiches dumim ok if the family members are alive and suffering???? God help us from ourselves.

    ralph1527
    ralph1527
    8 years ago

    This article should have been placed   the door of the principals, & menahalim here in NY who commit the same crime .I would love to mention them , but refrain from doing so , because …. its Loshon HaRah .

    8 years ago

    This is a terrible situation, not being able to pay for tuition.But i do have to say that today, people spend so much on extras, there lifestyles are on the highest end,then they blame the schools for not excepting their children. because they do not pay tuition. I have seen hundreds of cases where people spend like crazy expensive bungalows, expensive clothing.unlimited.When they come to pay for tuition they say. What can we do we don’t have money.You are so mean by not considering this.

    8 years ago

    Most Brooklyn yeshivos are not doing well financially. It’s not like there are so many people paying full tuition. The costs are not being offset. I think the bigger problem to be dealt with, at least short term, is the number of families that can, but don’t pay tuition. Using the system to your advantage is acceptable (but unethical) in business. When it comes to rebbeim’s salaries however, a little yashrus is in order.

    yossi10952
    yossi10952
    8 years ago

    There was obviously something wrong with him, I wouldn’t want my kid to be in the same class with a kid from such a family. I still don’t give them the right to play around with our kids like they do.

    BogusMilsky
    BogusMilsky
    8 years ago

    I am sure one of the missionary Y’S schools in EY would have taken her with open arms for free. A yid begging for chinuch for his child refused.

    ModernLakewoodGuy
    ModernLakewoodGuy
    8 years ago

    My daughter was refused entry to all 14 schools, so she is now in a local public school and thriving. Has never been happier.

    zelig
    zelig
    8 years ago

    The girl was placed in a school that her father objected to. He tried to get her into the better school. That’s what some websites wrote. Not so sure it was a money issue.

    FranZ
    FranZ
    8 years ago

    what a pity. people can become so desperate. the situation will only get worse bc wealthy people who used to contribute to these schools have either stopped or lessened their donations due to the poor economy.

    8 years ago

    So sad it had to turn out this way. But now his kids don’t have a father. Oh vey. In school she will be excepted now but her father she can’t bring back.

    fat36
    fat36
    8 years ago

    What a sad sad and painful day

    sissel613
    sissel613
    8 years ago

    For shame!!!! My heartfelt condolences to the entire family. Each and every person in Rechasim and elsewhere with these problems need to make a din vicheshbon and each and everyone involved needs to ask mechillah from the family. This is Yiddishkeit? No–this is krumkeit. Why are Sephardi people less valuable than Ashkenazim? Look back at so many gedolim –Rambam, Ibn Ezra, all the Gedolim from Bavel? Would you deny their children attendance because they are Sephardim? All the gedolim should put sanctions on all those “tzaddikim” who wouldn’t allow the kids to go to a school. They are all Yiddishe kinder–each one a Yiddishe neshama–more important the anything in the world. Can you even envision the emotinal damage that has been wrought and these kids? And now this one will start her first grade in aveil, thanks to all those “tzaddim.”

    May he be a meilitz yosher for his family and maybe from on high he can put an end to this utter nonsense both in Israel and here as well. Unfortunately it happens here too.

    Yerachmiel
    Yerachmiel
    8 years ago

    People are talking about Yeshiva’s economic realities. If so, why are all the children of kollel families virtually guaranteed admission and free tuition or very low tuition. If this is the outcome, maybe the frum world should admit it cannot afford so many kollel families.

    berylyoseph
    berylyoseph
    8 years ago

    It’s about time that Ashkenazim and Sephardim “get” officially divorced. The situation is not going to change no matter what. It is 2 seperate nations who pretend to be one.

    8 years ago

    It’s not lack of money to pay tuition that keeps children out of schools – it’s lack of enough extra money to bribe your way into schools. Yeshivos reject good, ehrliche boys at random without giving a second thought to what will become of these yiddishe neshamos.

    fleur
    fleur
    8 years ago

    Here in Israel has nothing to do about money. It’s because they are sefardim. What do you think its going on with the yeshives and seminaries.its all the same situation. I don’t want to be at the place of all these Rosh yeshivot and menahalim. What there olam haba looks like if they refused a boy or girl because there name is chetrit and not Friedman!! We speak about good girls frum erliche boys. It’s time that the rabonim in this country are taking care about this situation once and forever!!

    Nycnyc
    Nycnyc
    8 years ago

    The problem with yeshivas is because we are fools. If every frum Jew would register to vote and get rid

    Nycnyc
    Nycnyc
    8 years ago

    We need to register a hundred thousand frum students into public schools and you will see how fast the government will dish out money to our struggling yeshivas.

    8 years ago

    Rav Shteinman shlita said its assur for ANY school to reject a family. Period. It’s a din of ritzicha for the kid. Unfortunately in this case we see clearly ritzicha.

    yid2011
    yid2011
    8 years ago

    i hope the schools who have kicked out and rejected kids who can’t get vaccines for medical reasons and psakim they have from a rav realize the pain and tourture they put a family through by rejecting a child. It is a terrible tragedy that nobody should every have to suffer through. Gadolim have said it is assur to reject b/c of a safek safek safek safek safeka…

    8 years ago

    This is the worst thing I have ever heard in the “chinuch business.” As shocking & tragic as it is, it was only a matter of time.

    Firstly: a yeshiva/school is NOT a business, it is a place to bring out the yiddishkeit (and if it’s the case) the Chassidishkeit of every student. Schools should be child-centered, not school centered. The wellbeing of our children should be the primary concern, not yichus or money or connections. Unfortunately, here in Israel we also have to contend with racism – Sephardi vs Ashkenazi & never the twain shall meet, G-d forbid, in case my kid is corrupted by yours. It is appalling that this state of affairs is allowed to continue.

    I just opened a new high school for girls who are not OTD but who don’t fit the standard box. We accept students from various backgrounds & countries; we look for spunk & creativity. Any teacher who abuses a student will be fired on the spot. THIS is what chinuch is about: guiding, teaching & bringing out the best in every girl & caring for & understanding her needs. Children learn “al pi darko” & they also learn in a warm, nurturing school. For most schools, hindsight is 20/20. We had that vision before we opened.

    hashomer
    hashomer
    8 years ago

    Wow, a terrible story all around. How does killing yourself help your daughter? How does charging exorbitant fees for substandard education help the families? How does an application that requires pulling strings with the machers help our young people? How does racism against our Sephardim help Yiddishkeit?

    Yonason_Herschlag
    Yonason_Herschlag
    8 years ago

    There is terrible slander and evil accusations against the institution. Compare to gentile private institutions such as colleges; many top colleges accept less than 10% of the applicants. And yes, the college will accept students of lower caliber if they will be paying full tuition, and they will offer generous scholarships for star students. Both money and quality students enable them to build the best institution they can.

    That school is not the only school in town, and is not obligated to accept every applicant. What is the point of accusing them?

    Obviously the deceased had more troubles in life than just the fact that his daughter wasn’t enrolled in the school of her/his choice. Millions of people are rejected each year from their first choice of school, but they don’t all commit suicide over that.

    Two of my boys weren’t accepted into the yeshivas of their choice this year. That’s part of divine providence, that we have to accept with emuna in Hashem – gam-ze-letovah, and we move on.

    It’s hard to imagine a man emotionally well, with wonderful shalom bayis, healthy children, and a steady job, taking his life over such an issue. Blaming the school is loshan hora.

    BoruchN
    BoruchN
    8 years ago

    Wow! Terrible pressure on the man/family. Sorry ‘oxymoron’ no ‘Chareidi man’ would ever commit suicide. If he does he’s not ‘chareidi.’ There’s always hope. HaShem can do anything He wishes, whenever He wishes
    . Crazy story.

    berylyoseph
    berylyoseph
    8 years ago

    The yeshivot should make a seperation in their libraries as well. Have the seforim of ashkenazic sages such as the Maharsho , Remo , schach, Taz, Bach, Mogen Avrohom etc. On the right side. Whereas the Rambam, Ramban, Rashbo, Ritvo, Ran, Nimookay Yosef etc. on the left. Even though those Sephardic scholars lived earlier , I put them below in accodance with the prevalent halocho today.

    8 years ago

    BEEN THERE DONE THAT. HAD MY OWN ISSUE.
    AFTER OUR GUTS AND A LOT OF SYATA DISMAYA WE WERE LUCKY.

    savtat
    savtat
    8 years ago

    Didn’t this happen in Israel? I thought that education was covered in Israel. If it is discrimination against Sefardi students, then shame on them all. How awful. I taught in NY many years and we had students of all backgrounds, Sefardi and Ashkenazi. They were lovely and got along very well.

    8 years ago

    Sorry but this is insane ! He was obviously emotionally disturbed! You can’t blame the school! While it is terrible that the daughter didn’t get into this school, no normal parent would take such drastic action at the rejection! So he cared so much about his daughter and her education, but he didn’t care about the pain she’d go through after her father died?! This is no ones fault but his,

    Balaboos
    Balaboos
    8 years ago

    Shame on the whole corrupt system.

    As someone who deals with these broken children l’acher hama’ase, I can tell you with absolute certainty that any school, anywhere, which rejects a child for reasons other than not having the proper resources to educate that child (hamayvin yovin), every involved person (from admin to janitor and all those in between) will have to give din vecheshbon after 120.

    I will go as far as to say that they may even have a moral obligation to steer that child to an appropriate facility.

    How these people sleep at night behooves me. I am not the parent of any such child but I do see and deal and cry with them every day.

    Hashem yeracheim.

    May this father’s holy neshomoh have menucha and may his almonoh and their precious princess have a nechomoh.

    boroparkermom
    boroparkermom
    8 years ago

    A very sad story ! 64 comments on vin news with 66+ opinions !! Has anything good come out of this?!?! Have schools / yeshivas admin learnt any lesson here?! I sure hope so

    BarryLS1
    BarryLS1
    8 years ago

    No doubt the Yeshiva’s have expenses that have to be met, but they are also supposed to be concerned about Yiddishe Neshama’s. The other aspect to consider, is the schools being run efficiently?

    My wife worked in a Yeshiva for a long time and the waste of money over things that had nothing to do with education and teacher/Rabbeim’s salaries were sickening. They’re like little fiefdoms run by the few and the parents are forced to pay for this abuse of funds.

    yidineh
    yidineh
    8 years ago

    this father did what he did with no regard for the wife and children left behind. I agree with #75 . this was just an excuse for hi to do what he wanted to do and think he can blame it on someone else. my heart goes out to his family who was probably living with a sick situation for a long time