Brooklyn, NY – He’s never even seen her face, but a complete stranger is about to give Anthony Cottman his life back.
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Cottman will soon be able to return to work, go on vacation and walk up subway steps thanks to a woman who agreed to give the Brooklyn man her kidney.
“She is giving it to me for no other reason than I need it,” Cottman said.
The 45-year-old has been undergoing dialysis three days a week, for four hours at a time, since March 2004, when his anemia took a turn for the worse.
He always stayed hopeful of finding a kidney donor, but it remained a distant dream until Nancy Murrell, a woman from Pittsburgh, stepped in.
“It feels as though we’ve known each other in some other lifetime,” Cottman said.
“I think she is special and unique. It takes a special person to do this.”
Cottman and Murrell have exchanged texts, phone calls and e-mails, but their first face-to-face meeting will be just days before the June 25 operation at Mount Sinai Medical Center in Manhattan. Their story will be featured on the documentary series “My Last 24” on the Oprah Winfrey Network next year.
Murrell, 47, first heard about Cottman’s plight from a New Yorker who gave up a kidney herself and now links donors and recipients.
Donor Chaya Lipschutz was speaking about her experiences on National Public Radio’s “This American Life” and described her work setting up a kidney matchmaking Web site, KidneyDonor-KidneyMatchmaker.com.
Murrell had often considered becoming a donor, but she is scared of needles and never knew how to go about it. The law firm marketing manager contacted Lipschutz in February.
As she began hearing about the people looking for donors, Cottman’s story struck a chord. Tests showed them to be a match.
He is African-American and she is a lesbian, which put both of them “on the outside of society in some ways,” Murrell explained.
“I’m not nervous about it. I keep expecting to be nervous, but mostly I’m just really excited to be part of something like this,” she said.
“It’s for Anthony, and to make the world a better place, but it’s also just really, really interesting. It’s an adventure.”
The surgery is relatively straightforward for the donor, who can expect to be back on her feet in a matter of weeks and able to live a long, healthy life with just one kidney.
For the recipient, there is always a risk the organ will be rejected, and he or she must take daily medication to try to counteract that.
This doesn’t faze Cottman, who used to work in the fashion industry before falling ill and is eager to pick up where he left off.
“With all these things to look forward to, I’m not even thinking about rejection,” he said.
“You get that bad boy in me, and me and God will make it work.”
Lipschutz, who brought them together, says it’s great to have a happy ending, but she takes little credit for the union.
“I don’t feel like there’s anything amazing about what I’ve done,” she said.
“I just felt like I wanted to do more
I received my kidney transplant over two years ago from my chavrusah of 30 years.
People who donate their kidney, especially to unrelated recipients, are malochim.
Hokoras haTov is forever…
How do I become a donor? Do I need to be any blood type?
Donate a kidney and u change a persons life forever, also his entire family begins to live a new life. This feeling makes u be happy and feel good for the rest of ur life. It cannot be described. Only those experienced, can understand.
I know someone that gave a kidney and simnce then he is a new person! He is a strong advocate for kidney donation. I am jealous of his courage to be able to do this amazing thing and giving life to another yid.
#2 there are ads running in heimishe papers of people looking for kidney. Try calling and seeing what it takes. There is a organization renew that works with the donors
Mazel Tov to Baila Teitelbaum from Boro Park who had a baby this morning!
She had donated a kidney to a stranger in August 2009.
I had made her kidney match as well.
Mazel Tov Baila!!!
– Chaya Lipschutz.
I remember hearing Chaya on This American Life, she definitely made a Kiddush Hashem.
There’s probably tons of halachic shailos…ms lipshits, do you have a rav that guides you?
What doctors have to say about kidney donation:
“Just think people have no problem having only one kidney, so we have to ask, why did Hashem give us two kidneys? Perhaps it is so you would have an extra one to donate and save a life! – Dr. Stuart Greenstein, Shomer Shabbos Kidney Transplant Surgeon, Montefiore Medical Center, Bronx, NY
“We are born with approximately 4-5 times the kidney function that we need, to be healthy and stay off of dialyisis- to not have kidney failure. So by donating one of your kidneys,you are still left with with 2-3 times the amount of kidney function that you need to be healthy and lead a normal life”
– Dr. Joseph Del Pizzo. Assistant Professor of Urology, Director, Laproscopic Surgery, New York – Presbytarian Hospital – Weill Corneil Medical Center, New York, NY.
There are other quotes on my website.
Hope you wil consider becoming a kidney donor! (-:
– Chaya
yidel,
she doesnt make the decisions the donor does!!duh!!
ms lipshits
do you match jewish donors to non jewish recipients?
Chaya, who are your rabbi’s? 🙂
chaya its nice to see how you put all your energy and even your kidney into this cause…
1. which rabbi is involved here?
2. what’s the process if say I would want to donate a kidney
3. do I get to choose who I give it to?
4. what happens if C”V I need a kidney myself in the future?
plz give the readers more information
thanks,
moish
chaya its nice to see how you put all your energy and even your kidney into this cause…
1. which rabbi is involved here?
2. what’s the process if say I would want to donate a kidney
3. do I get to choose who I give it to?
4. what happens if C”V I need a kidney myself in the future?
plz give the readers more information
thanks,
moish
Moish – thanks for your questions. Good ones!
1. Which Rabbi is involved here? Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser endorses my project. If someone is in good health and wants to save a life – there may not be any questions that one would need a Rabbi for – unless there are personal issues, like if someone is married and a spouse objects, or a parent objects.
2. What’s the process if say one wants to donate a kidney? If someone wants to donate a kidney they just have to take a blood test to see if they are a match. If one is a match, then they have to take medical tests to make sure they are healthy enough and take a cat scan on the kidneys – one reason, to make sure you have two kidneys.. Because some people are born with only one. A person would also have to meet with a social worker and/or a psychiatrist to make sure they are mentally well enough and also to make sure that one is not getting paid for kidney donation, which is illegal. The hospital stay is usually 2 days and most surgery is done laproscopic.
3. Does one get to choose who they give it to? Yes. There are people that are choosy and it’s better that they particular on who they donate a kidney to – then not donate a kidney at all.
4. What is c”v (G-d forbid) if one who donated a kidney would need a kidney in the future? First want to make clear, if someone donates a kidney – it is very highly unlikely that they will need a kidney as a result of their kidney donation. People need to take care of their health in general. If someone donates a kidney and eats unhealthy, and becomes obese, for example and develops diabetes as a result, often, diabetes leads to kidney failure. So – in general, if you donate a kidney it won’t result in your needing a kidney unless you don’t take care of yourself. And what if G-d forbid it is the case that someone doesn’t take care of themself after kidney donation and will need a kidney which wouldnt be a result of their kidney donation? They will be moved up the list to receive a cadaver.kidney. Generally, the wait for a cadaver kidney in New York is 5-7 years. So, one who would donate a kidney and need a kidney – which is probably rare, would get a kidney quickly.
There are great articles on my website pertaining to kidney donation. Studies were done for many, many years and found that kidney donors do very well!
Any other questions – happy to answer them.
Thanks again, Moish for the great questions!
Chaya Lipschutz
[email protected]
Dr. Michael Edye, adjunct associate professor of surgery, of Mt. Sinai hospital, has done about 600 kidney donation surgeries.
Here is what he has to say about kidney donation – from the NY Daily news article, dated June 10, 2009, title in the newspaper – Giving of yourself – donating a kidney is safe, the surgery has gotten simpler and the Internet offers a new way to bring donors and recipients together.”
And now for his Dr. Edye’s quote:
“Kidney donation is a relativelly easy operation, and many donors will never feel the loss of their second kidney. It’s the most expendable of organs. So giving up a kidney causes no disadvantage to your long-term health. In fact, studies have shown that KIDNEY DONORS ACTUALLY LIVE LONGER THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION.”
This is his quote!
Chaya Lipschutz
[email protected]
Facts about kidney donation:
1. A person can live just as well with one kidney as with two. Most of these people who are on dialysis and in need of a kidney, have 2 kidneys . When one goes, the other goes at the same time.
2. One out of about 750 people are born with one kidney. So people can say – “hey hou can you give away a kidney – you need both!”. Hello – that person saying that may be walking around with one kidney his whole life and not even know it!!!
3. Childbirth is a lot riskier than kidney donation.
4.Driving a car – is much riskier than kidney donation
5. The person donating a kidney does not have to be on a special diet after donating a kidney. Doesn’t have to take any special medication.
Chaya Lipschutz
[email protected]
Take care of your health!
Some of the causes of kidney disease – resulting in people needing a kidney:
One of the big causes is Diabetes.
Also, high blood pressure.
And of course obesity – which can result in diabetes and high blood pressure.
V’nishmartem Es Nafshosaichem!
* If you are smoking – quit!
*Eat healthy – 100% whole grain foods, healthy fats like olive oil, lots of fruits and vegetables. (always consult with a doctor first before starting any diet program)
*Maintain a healthy weight
*…and very important, exercise!
Exercise suggestions:
1. Stationary bicycle- you can listen to a lecture, read a sefer (book) while riding on a stationary bike!
2. Waling – briskly
3. Join a gym!
– Chaya
Beautiful work Mrs. Lipschutz. I know people who have donated and they are doing great years later. One more thing that I’ve heard which you might be able to confirm is that if someone is a donor and later needs a kidney himself or herself (sheer coincidence, because being a donor does not cause kidney failure), that person will get priority on the waiting list.
MAZEL TOV
A Chabad -Lubavitch Rabbi – Rabbi of a Chabad house will be donating a kidney, to a Satmar father of 10 from Williamsburg, i”yh, G-d willing in August.
This Rabbi saw my posting I had in one of the Jewish Yahoo groups for someone in need of a kidney and I matched him up with this man in Williamsburgh. The Rabbi finnished all his medical tests.
– plus –
As mentioned previously,
Baila Teitelbaum of Boro Park had donated a kidney in August 2007 and had a baby today! Boruch Hashem, this lovely kidney donor and her baby are doing great. She had contacted me a while back after seeing a flier I hung up in Tauber’s fish store in Boro Park. I matched her up with someone who has a store in Boro Park.
and
Im Yertze Hashem, someone in Boro Park that also saw I flier I had in Boro Park will be donating a kidney this summer to a woman in Flatbush.
Mazel tov! May we have more simchas!!!
Chaya
I donated a kidney 2 years ago to my husband. We asked our local orthodox rav – question because the donor is in good health and undergoing a surgical procedure that donor does not need – is it permitted. and we were told yes. initial testing was blood tests verifying blood type compatibility and test to make sure that the recepient does not have antibodies to the donor. after that tests went from most basic to more complex, ultrasound verifying 2 kidneys, ct scan detailing kidneys & vessels, nuclear scan for function. as well as cardio, ekg, and other tests. wanted to be sure donor is in good health so donation will not have negative impact on donor’s health. and now we say b’h and thank you G-d.
Chaya,
I have a question?
In comment 28 #3 you call the donor choosy for deciding who to give to!
Who gave you the authority to decide who is more important??!! Why is that donor choosy and you are not choosy?? You chose her as being important and he chose another! I think the organization Renew works differently with priority.
correction to above, my previous comment was #32 .
I have people who are frum and not frum who need a kidney. Everyone has a choice whom they want to donate a kidney to. If someone is frum and only wants to donate a kidney to someone who is frum – that is fine with me.
I do however know someone who is frum from Lakewood who donated a kidney to someone who was not frum and the person she donated a kidney to after became Shomer Shabbos! I didn’t make this kidney shidduch. You know who did? A Satmar in Williamsburg! He encouraged it. She did a lot for frum people in her job, even though she was not frum! I thought that was gevaldig!
So you never know!
– Chaya
Chaya, keep up the great work. I wish I could be as good at chesed as you are.